III. Reminiscences.
The entire South Pole seemed to be under a deluge. Guests from the four corners of the world kept arriving. The Peace Summit was not a social affair but a deeply political one, where old enemies were ready to face each other ... and talk. The fact that it was supposed to close with a Commitment Ceremony, or whatever was it that they were calling two war heroes shacking up together, was the ideal cover to force negotiators and ministers to keep talking about trade and how to survive peace after everyone had forgotten how to prosper under it.
It took Toph five seconds to understand that Fire Lord Pops and Crown Prince Sparky were there not only for the sake of friendship and old time's sake, but for cunning survival. They came with an escort of firebenders and courtiers including, to everyone's surprise, Sparky's mom, the better to fend off the retinue of passive aggression from the other nations. Fire Lord Pops was fantastic. Toph hadn't really seen him in action in this trip, but as per Sokka's and Katara's musings, the Fire Nation royals were doing more than their part in the Summit. Prince Sparky, everyone hushed, was the heart of his uncle's strategy.
After the defeat of the previous Fire Lord, it has come as a surprise to everybody, including his friends, that Zuko instead of claiming the throne as his own, had reinstated his uncle's birthright. It did not seem to make much sense at the beginning, but almost immediately the strategy paid off. Iroh was, after all, a direct descendant of Azulon, and the predecessor of Ozai. He was old school, part of the previous generation, savvy in the ways of the Court and carrying the weight of his reputation as the Dragon of the West.
Zuko, reinstated as Crown Prince, was made Chief Commander and took immediate charge of the Navy and the Army, always loyal to Iroh, and therefore, by extension, loyal to him. Almost from the first day of regaining power, Zuko went to travel the Fire Nation with an elite crew, in a trip of reconnaissance and reconstruction that was still going after several years. Iroh stayed back at Court, managing the day to day of running a country, the nobles and the intrigue with a firm hand.
Zuko would come back to the capital often, to regroup with Iroh, discuss pressing matters, make decisions, convene with the nobles, leave his own imprint on the Court, and remind everyone that he was not the banished Prince anymore, but the rightful heir to the Crown who happened to be gathering the full support of the military and the direct love of the Fire Nation population itself. He was not loved by the nobles (he couldn't care less about the nobles), but by the subjects, the populace and even the rabble. The Crown Prince was hugely popular in his own country... and beyond its borders.
He would not limit his efforts to the Fire Nation. He would often travel with the Avatar to the other nations to negotiate issues of trade directly or even to go on adventures again. It was not uncommon to hear stories of the Fire Nation prince helping travelers against highway robbers. Or like that occasion when he saved a group of Earth kingdom refugees from pirates and personally got King Bumi to welcome them to Omashu. Or even better, those stories of him getting waterbenders and healers to help with the aftermath of a tsunami in one of the Fire Nation islands. One of the best stories was how the Prince and the Avatar sought and found the lost Earth King and returned him to his throne in Ba Sing Se (and got her a job in the bargain, but that was another story). The guy had become an idealized figure in the minds of the populace: that of a noble prince who could command an army without wearing armor (except for the dao swords in his back), but who could defeat a group of mercenaries single handed, as well as ... stopping to save a squirrel-cat perched on a tree.
Toph shook her head, laying in bed, on her back. "Tough competition Twinkle-toes." She muttered to herself. Not that Aang would see anything Sparky did as competition. In that sense, Aang was truly a product of his upbringing by the monks. He was always so happy that Sparky was willing to help, that Zuko would exorcise his demons and purge his family's sins by making amends to the world. The fact that Sparky was becoming more popular than the Avatar himself ... well, that was another matter altogether. Toph was sure that Aang did not know about the lore, the songs, and the bards singing not only the praises of the young Avatar but the graces of the Fire Prince. She knew Aang and his teenage ego. She also knew Sparky and his deep rooted belief that he had to work hard at being accepted.
When the war was over, Toph had not been ready to go back home. If rules and smothering made her cringe before, now that she knew real freedom the idea of going back to her parents would make her sick, literally. She would correspond with her parents, but every time a letter came back asking her to return home, she would have to find the safest hidden corner and hyperventilate in private. She tried to convince them to come see her, but they plainly refused. All her friends thought that she needed to go home and face them, the sooner the better. Sparky was the one who proposed instead that she spend some time in the Fire Nation before going back home.
"She has to be ready to face them." He said evenly to Aang and Katara, when they said it was a bad idea. "You cannot rush these things".
She was grateful. She knew that the Fire Nation royals were insanely busy with their politics, and moreover, that unless power was consolidated soon, the rest of their lives would be a non stop streamline of putting out fires and civil war threats. So she stayed with them, and helped.
She could have gone with Aang, Katara, Sokka and Suki whom, after spending some time in the Fire Nation, went to other places. But she decided to stay with Sparky and Pops for several reasons. One of them being that by then she knew of Sparky's plan to travel his own country to personally lead the reconstruction effort.
"You cannot govern what you don't know" he said with that new acquired wisdom that made Katara sneer.
Deep down Toph also knew that Sparky's renunciation of the throne was a way of keeping his freedom for a little longer. After so many years in exile, Sparky had grown fond of the liberty on the road and, besides, he knew that the trappings of government and power would anyway be there waiting for him at his return. It was the same for her. Her parents and the rules would be there tomorrow as well as today. The difference was that once she got home, saving the world would not be a valid excuse to leave again (not that it ever was).
So, for some time she went on the road with Sparky and his men. She ended up proving to be a great asset. She could tell him when someone was lying; she could wake him up if an enemy was about to attack; she was great to exercise with (nothing like the daily sparring match between earth and fire); she was happy to earthbend people into doing the right thing; and she grew fond of spending time with a bunch of guys who did not treat her like a flower. She suspected that Sparky warned his men not to, ever, under pain of concussion and death, try to protect her or treat her like a helpless girl. Nevertheless, some of them tried, at the beginning. It lasted probably two days. By the dawn of the third day all pretenses that she was a blind, small boned, pre-teen were dropped. If it wasn't because she was so fearsome, she was sure they would have named her their mascot. As it stands, they did not dare. And she liked it that way. Sparky was the best company during those days. She relished the sense of humor and the camaraderie of soldier life. It fitted her like a glove. And Sparky was particularly funny when he let his guard down.
She was thirteen the first time she decided to try the fire whiskey the soldiers would drink during Music Nights (a tradition started by Fire Lord Pops that Sparky had decided to reinstate). She had been kicking their butts at playing dice (Sparky had refused to play, telling her in a very low voice that he knew she was a cheat) when someone dared her to bet a drink. Sparky was in his tent looking at rolls and letters, so not having anyone to stop her, she accepted the challenge. She had been surprised about how easy it was for her the first shot. She barely felt it on her throat. The soldiers were amazed.
"Wow!" Captain Yin said. "That thing put hairs in men chests."
Toph shrugged.
"It's not my fault that I am surrounded by little girls." She answered grinning.
And right there, it has been the beginning of the end. By the second shot she could feel neither the drink nor her toes, and by shot number four she lost control of her legs and started earthbending soldiers into oblivion. Sparky had to intervene. She thought he would burst an artery or something, the way he was screaming at his men. She took serious offense when he yelled that "Couldn't they see that she was just a little girl?" and decided to earthbend him into respect, after all she was the greatest earthbender in the entire stupid world (hiccup) and deserved some respect. But when she tried to send him into the air she ended up bringing the entire camp down by mistake, which forced Sparky to carry her over his shoulder and throw her in the nearby river to stop the damage. The cold water sobered her up. She found herself sitting in the river, the shallow water running cold around her waist, her feet and legs. Sparky came over and sat next to her in the water, putting an arm across her shoulders. That was when she started to cry.
"He never, ever, paid any attention to me!" she wailed, completely ignorant until then that it hurt so much. Sparky did not say anything, nor did he try to console her. He just hugged her and let her cry. She tried explaining "Is not that I was not nice to him, or anything. I mean, I was always talking to him and making him laugh and insulting him in a very nice way! But he never paid any attention! And then he gives me this" she showed Sparky the bracelet, her most prized possession "he actually gave me this, and next thing you know, he is braving a boiling lake in a volcano to save her." Toph pushed Sparky, who did not let go. "And you, you helped!! You helped him get his girlfriend back!" She tried to punch him but failed, and Sparky kept hugging her. "And then the war is over and over they go, to travel the world, without me! He didn't even ask me if I wanted to go. He did not even care that I did not go." She finished quietly. Toph would have kept crying if it wasn't because of the nausea. She threw up all over her and him. Sparky held her head while she was throwing up, making little hushing noises and saying something that sounded like "It's going to be OK, it is going to be OK". She raised her head, looking for his hushing voice.
"Is she very pretty, Sparky?" She asked sadly.
"She is just older." He said with certainty. Toph was at a loss.
"What?"
Sparky caressed her hair.
"She is older than you, so she is closer to what Sokka likes. But you, you are the Earth Rumble Six Champion. The greatest earthbender in the world. The only metal bender known to men. The Avatar's teacher. The most fearsome teacher he has, I may add. And the best looking one too."
She was so happy to hear that, that she didn't care if it was not true.
"Do you really think so?" She asked. And his voice was utterly honest when he answered:
"Yes. I absolutely do."
She smiled happily.
"Sokka is a moron." She said before throwing up again.
"That, he is." Sparky agreed.
The next morning she woke up with a splitting headache and a massive hangover. Sparky brought her tea but did not say anything about their conversation or the river. After her tea, she fixed all the damage she had caused and Sparky thanked her the best way. He patted her in the back like a good soldier and left it at that.
Toph rolled over in the bed. She was covered with furs and blankets to withstand the cold. She has been under the covers all afternoon. Not that she was hiding on purpose or anything, but this place was as good as any to avoid Gran-Gran's orders, Katara's non-stop chattering, Suki's charming cheerfulness, her two useless bodyguards and, in general, people asking her questions about the Earth Kingdom and the current political situation. The issue was the ice. For the first time in her life she truly couldn't see and that made her angry and very short tempered. She was also wondering about her friends, and how none of them seem to realize that she was as lost as a little girl in this place. Sparky have been great in that sense, but he was also very busy, involved in politics, being dragged into all the manly activities Sokka had planned for the Summit. Most of the time, she suspected, he was there only as Aang's moral support. She wondered if he had the conversation with Aang. He was truly dreading it. 'How hard can that be?' She asked herself under the covers 'Aang will be seventeen soon. Monks or no monks, he must have all the urges.' She got closer to the wall. With her head under the furs and covers she felt like in a cocoon. Her breath warm against the skins. The South Pole outside vibrated in the ice. She started to drift back into sleep.
She woke up to hushed voices in the room. She had no idea what time it was, if it was night-time already or the next day. She recognized the first voice. It was Sparky's. It made sense, she thought, remembering that this was, after all, his room. For several reasons, hiding in the prince's room has been the best way to avoid having anything to do with the Summit, politics or the Commitment Ceremony. No one looked for her there, and the usual Water Tribe rules of openly barging into people's privacy stopped at Zuko's door.
"You have changed as well." He was saying.
Toph heard a rustle of movement, and suddenly a voice she knew too well.
"I am not getting that much taller, unlike you." What the hell is Katara doing here?
"It seems like I am condemned to resemble my father. He is tall."
"You will never, ever, be like your father." Katara answered with certainty and Toph knew, not because of vibrations she could not feel, but because her voice has gotten closer to were Sparky's was, that she had approached him. "This will always remind you that you are not him." 'She is probably touching his face right now' Toph thought and knitted her brow. She decided not to move a muscle. 'At least not now' she said to herself 'But I definitively reserve the right to intervene if necessary.'
"What do you want, Katara?" He asked and there was pain in the voice.
"I just want to know if you are happy." She answered lowly. Hum, the voices were still very close to each other.
"It is what it is." He answered. "What about you? Are you happy?"
"I heard that you and Mai are dating again." She said without answering his question. Really? Sparky is back with the Queen of the Death? Again? Why didn't I know that?
"She is loyal." He answered. Katara made a little noise. Was that a snigger? Girl, what did I teach you? You don't snigger at other people's squeezes!
"Loyalty is not a reason." She said.
"It seems to work for you." Ouch!
"Why is she not here?" You had to give it to the girl, she just refused to answer uncomfortable questions.
"I didn't think it was appropriate. She tried to kill all of you several times."
"She saved Sokka's and my father's life. She would have been welcome. She was invited."
"Did you truly want her here?"
A pause.
"No." Finally! Something that sounds like the truth. And then, very softly "I've missed you."
"So you said in your letters. You missed our conversations."
"You never answer my letters. You answer Aang's and Sokka's though." Sokka's? Sokka writes letters? "But never mine."
"It's not hard to answer your brother's letters. They are one paragraph long, and that's counting the introduction and the farewell." Now, that makes sense.
She sighed. It was a deep sigh, almost a sob.
"I thought we could be friends."
"You said so by the river last time. And I tell you now what I told you then, I am your friend." What river?
"Do you remember our first night, by the river?" She asked wistfully. "Yue was full that night." First night?
"How can I forget?" His voice was so low that another person would have not been able to hear. Silence followed. However, whatever Katara was doing, it included some rustling of clothing. Then something like a moan. By the Spirits they are kissing! Fussybritches you are a total slut!
"After all that happened between us ... " He said huskily, but did not finish the sentence, probably because her (newly discovered) harlot friend was kissing him again. Toph started counting, wondering if she could slip from under the covers and into the floor without them noticing, when she felt the weight of two bodies sinking the bed. She went stiff like a pole, and tried to fuse with the wall without moving, desperately thinking that she needed to scram, pronto.
The sighs and movement suddenly stopped. His voice was breathy.
"Are you calling the ceremony off?" He asked point blank. Her silence was just too long.
"Zuko, I..." she started. Then, silence. He moved away.
"I'm not doing this." There was anger and finality in his voice. "I'm not doing this to Aang, and not to myself. It's not honorable."
"You are one to speak of loyalty." She answered bitterly. Wow. Low blow.
"That" he said very slowly, and very sadly "was beneath you. This is beneath us." The weight of one body left the bed. She couldn't figure out if he was going towards the door, but Katara seemed almost faint when she said:
"Please, don't go. Don't. You don't know how hard this is."
"Don't I? I know everything that there is to know about making agonizing decisions between right and wrong. And this is wrong." There was a pause, and then: "Wait ten minutes before leaving this room." His voice had slipped back into its commanding mode, into that natural ability to order around that came so easily and effectively to him. "I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about us." And with that he was gone.
Katara started crying, and that was when Toph decided to intervene.
"What is wrong with you??" She asked suddenly removing the covers from over her head.
Katara screamed like a swamp hen-banshee and fell off the bed.
"TOPH!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??"
"I'm asking the questions!" She retaliated. "What do you think you are doing trying to seduce Sparky?"
"It is very rude to spy on people!"
"It is very stupid to cheat on people, especially before your commitment, or whatever is it that you will be doing with Aang!! Are you trying to start another war?"
"What are you talking about?"
"What do you think is going to happen if anyone finds the Avatar's fiancée in the arms of the Fire prince? Do you think your father and your brother are going to take that lightly?"
"I did not think ... I am sor... But ... wait ... what are YOU doing here? In Zuko's bed??"
"Hiding from you!" Was the honest answer and suddenly Katara went quiet.
"Hiding from me?"
"Yep. You have been driving me crazy with your non-stop babble. I thought this was the safest place from you in the entire Pole, so go figure. That was before I knew you were such a floozy."
"I am not a floozy!"
"Oh shut up, Sweetness. You are a complete tramp." She paused and added pensively, "I kept thinking that yours was a bad case of wedding jitters, but now I understand what the problem is."
"What?" Katara sounded suspicious.
"You are nervous. You have been really nervous since I got here. It must be Zuko who makes you nervous, because you are usually annoying in an endearing way, but these last two days have been beyond supportable." Toph knitted her brow "What was all that about a river?"
Katara rose from the floor. Toph could hear her straightening her clothes.
"I have no idea what are you talking about."
"I can hear you blushing." Actually, she couldn't. But Katara didn't know that.
"What?"
"Oh, drop it." She said tiredly, after all it was the second time in this trip she was about to have this conversation. "I was there."
"You were where?"
"At the Western Air Temple! When you and Sparky were going at it."
"Oh, by Yue!!"
"Good, at least you are not denying it."
"We ... we didn't do what you are implying we did." She said a bit defensively.
"Not because you didn't want to, you loose woman." Toph started sliding on the bed and extended a hand to Katara. "Help me out of here. It makes no sense to hide from you anymore." Katara helped her out of the bed, and Toph started searching with her hands.
"What are you looking for?" Katara asked with suspicion. Toph was tracing the lines of Zuko's luggage.
"Fire wine. Maybe fire whiskey if we are lucky. Sparky always travel with some of the best vintages, in case he decides to toast his men or in case uncle Iroh needs it."
"Uncle Iroh needs drinks?" Katara asked incredulously.
"Sometimes, when he thinks too much about Lu Ten." Her fingers recognized the shape of a trunk. "Here! Help me open this!"
Katara helped her with nimble fingers.
"Why are we looking for whiskey?" She asked
"Because you are going to need it. What am I saying? I'm going to need it. We are about to have a serious conversation, some whiskey will come handy." Toph fingers traced the shapes of some square boxes on top of the bottles. "Is this what I think it is?" She asked to herself aloud and opened a box. Her fingers recognized round shapes, soft but firm. "Yep, this is good." She closed the box and put it aside. "Katara, look at the labels. What are these?" Katara kneeled besides her.
"Fire whiskey, aged 12 years. And there are some fire wine bottles too, old vine, Ozai's private cellar this one says."
"Good stuff." Toph assented knowingly. "Get two of each. I'll get the box."
"What's in the box?"
"Something else that we are going to need for this conversation"