IX. Ius Primae Filia
Toph sat in a room, surrounded by people. Everyone was talking at the same time. Her friends were there, Iroh and Hakoda were there, people that she didn't know were there. Sparky's mom was making tea or something, but dammed it if she was up for tea.
"You." She said to someone close. "You smell like you know where the frozen tundra vodka is. I need some."
"My lady." The elegant voice said. "I may be able to procure something less abrasive than Moonshine Tundra Vodka. What about a good cup of jasmine …?" Before he could finish, someone breezed past and pulled him away.
"No, no, no Master Piandao." She heard Sokka saying. "If you want to survive the evening, do not offer tea to a wounded warrior."
A hand rested on her shoulder. A very warm hand, that then grabbed her two hands, took away the scroll that she was still holding, and replaced it with a warm cup. She smelled fire wine mulled with spices.
"This is the stuff." She mumbled before gulping it down. Someone, Katara for the feeling of the hands, put something like a sea biscuit in her hand and forced it to her mouth. She chewed slowly, thinking.
She could hear them discussing the situation.
"There must be something that can be done to make Kuei understand." Chief Hakoda was saying.
"The only person that makes Kuei understand anything is Toph." Sparky said, next to her, his hand still on her shoulder. "And she is in no condition to be persuasive right now."
"Let me get close to him and I'll show you persuasion." She mumbled. Katara, next to her, put a hand on Toph's arm.
"Regicide is not a viable solution." She counseled wisely, then said: "However, something must be done. Can't we stop him from claiming Gaoling?"
"Well," she heard Fire Lord Pops coming over, "this is a matter of Earth Kingdom internal politics. Unless Gaoling requests our intervention, we cannot stop him from reverting Gaoling to its original political state, specially when he is not using force."
"But what about Toph?" Suki asked, incensed. "It's what he's trying to do even legal?"
"His attorney says it is." Katara mumbled. Sokka perked up.
"That's it! That's what we need! An attorney of our own! We need to battle fire with fire!"
"Actually Sokka, the best way to battle fire is with water… " Aang started but he was shushed.
"Where can we get the best possible attorney?" Sokka was asking. "Fire Lord Iroh, you look like a guy who knows where to get a good attorney."
"Well, two of the Fire Nation counselors are here with me." He started and Toph mumbled again.
"Wasn't this supposed to be a Peace Summit? Who brings attorneys to peace summits? That almost ensures that there won't be any peace."
"I may be all for peace, my fascinating friend," Iroh said. "But I also know human nature." He paused and then continued. "The problem is that my counselors are only versant on Fire Nation law. It is different."
"No, if we claim her as a Fire Nation citizen." Sparky said. "She did serve on our army, we can grant her honorary citizenship."
"That is a good idea," Iroh answered. "But I am afraid Kuei is not playing games here. I am sure he has more up his sleeve. I will summon the counselors immediately."
"You hear that Toph?" Katara said encouragingly. "You are getting your own attorney and everything."
While someone was dispatched to call the counselors, she could hear the voices around her. Sweetness was talking to Sparky, behind her.
"You're the only one who hasn't say anything about my hair."
"I am guy. I don't know about those things."
"You must have an opinion."
"I like your hair loose."
"I knew it, you don't like it either!"
"That is not what I said!"
Toph growled. Right now her fate was in the hands of these people. Aang was talking to Pops, Hakoda, Arnook, and some assorted old people, she couldn't figure out who, toward her front.
"I am the Avatar. I am sure the Earth King will listen to me. Brokering peace is my job."
"Yes, Avatar Aang. But this is not about keeping peace. We are at peace. It's about challenging the core of Earth Kingdom traditions."
"I am the Avatar. It's my job to fight unjust traditions!"
"Two hundred and seventy three". Toph said to herself, sadly. A gentle voice next to her made her jump.
"What did you say, honey?" Sparky's mom. She was giving her another cup of the mulled wine. The lady did not brew tea, Toph liked her.
"That is my number. I am going to be Kuei's two hundred and seventy third concubine." She stopped and then an idea came to her head. "Maybe I can plan a revolt. Do you think 273 concubines can storm and take on a palace? Maybe a city? If the White Lotus, which mind you is nearing the millennia mark in added years, could do it, 273 frustrated women can!" She immediately started laying down the plans. "I can scare the Dai Li into helping me. I can bring down the palace with one sweep of my feet! There is so much I can do!"
"What makes you think that these women will help?" Sparky's mom asked, and then added. "What makes you think that you will need their help?" Toph turned her head toward Ursa. She continued. "If all that I know about you and your friends is true, you won't be marrying the Earth King at all."
Toph liked her immensely.
"Why do you think a man would do something as daft as this?" She asked the older woman, in serious need of good advice. "I mean, Kuei is crazy and weird, like all Earth Kings, but he has never been particularly stupid. Maybe moronic at times, but not hopelessly dim-witted."
"The Earth King is in love. He just doesn't know how to court you." Toph considered this. She thought about Katara and Zuko's conversation at her back. About the way these two had been behaving since she got to the South Pole.
"So love means what? 'Let's be idiots together'?" She asked, honestly wanting to know.
"Sometimes." Ursa answered, "But it always depends on the idiot."
At that moment the Fire Nation counselors showed up. One had a pompous voice, the other spoke so fast and so intelligibly that Toph got a headache almost immediately.
"The lady can be claimed as a Fire Nation citizen, but the Treaty of the Four Harmonies signed four years ago, however, clearly establishes that any act of aggression can be met with swift retaliation, and it is not clear if this can be considered aggressive … blah … henceforth … blah, blah … provided that …" Toph lost complete sense of what the argument was, if there even was one, or if there was a problem with it. She just couldn't follow legalese. She was restless, so she stood up and left the room silently. She leaned against the door.
"Great Master." A voice said next to her, making her jump. Freaking, stupid, stupid ice!! Everything and everyone kept taking her by surprise in this place. She vowed to her ancestors right there and then that she never, ever again would leave her land. Not even for five minutes.
"Chin." She said tiredly. "Hello."
"The guys and I have been talking, Great Master." Chin said solemnly, "We want you to know that we offer you our sword and our loyalty. If you want to declare war on the Earth King, we are happy to oblige." She smiled. That was talk that she could understand. "By the way," He continued, "Some of the insults you threw back there in the assembly were instant classics. We felt really proud. We saw some people bleeding through their ears and everything."
The door opened behind her.
"Pst, Toph, are you OK?" said Suki
"Why did you leave?"Katara asked, "They are discussing your future right now."
"I have no idea what those guys are saying." She said with a shrug. "They speak formal legal stuff. I rather talk to Chin here, at least he speaks my language."
"They are saying that if the Fire Nation claims you, the Earth King can restart the war." Chin explained. The three of them looked at him with wonder.
"How do you know that?"
"Because I did two years of law school before dropping out to become a soldier." They perked.
"And what is your opinion?" Suki asked eagerly.
"That they are right." The three girls seemed to deflate.
"Uh, uh. What was that about a hussy that launched a 1,000 ships?" Katara asked in a low voice.
"You are starting to sound like my second conscience." Grumbled Toph.
"Your second conscience? What's that?"
"The little Katara we all have inside."
"But that's because they are using the wrong argument." Chin continued. The girls perked again.
"What do you mean?"
"They keep treating this as if they were either in Earth Kingdom or Fire Nation soil. We are in the South Pole. That means that we need to apply conflicts of laws rules. An Earth Kingdom citizen and a Fire Nation citizen on Water Tribe soil means that all three laws may apply. So, we just need to look for the Water Tribe law that nullifies what the Earth King wants to do." Their jaws hung open in shock.
"Why was it that you quit law school again?" Toph asked suspiciously.
"Too boring." He said and she smiled again.
"That's my guy!" She exclaimed. Katara seemed concerned.
"We don't really have attorneys in the South Pole. We don't consider them appropriate company in polite society." She added, sheepishly.
"Another reason why I quitted." He nodded. "But you don't need laws to neutralize this, just traditions. On the Water Tribe they carry the same weight that laws do in other places."
The door opened.
"Pst, guys, what are you doing outside?" Sokka asked. "The attorneys are explaining that we may need to go to war against Kuei."
"Hey guys." It was Aang now. "We need you inside. This is serious."
And finally,"What are you all doing outside? Don't you know that we need to prepare for war now? We need to get Toph's city back and the honor of the Fire Nation is at stake."
Toph raised a hand.
"Pipe it!" She said. "We are onto something with Chin here. He is a law school drop out. I think I found my attorney."
Chin vehemently denied it.
"No Great Master, you need a Water Tribe attorney. Someone who can quote the local traditions, who can defeat the famous and renowned Lu Shi at his own game."
"Do you know Lu Shi?" She asked with wonder.
"We studied him in law school. He is a legend. They say that he may take your flesh without spilling your blood."
"Whatever that means." Sokka said. "So, why do we need a water tribe attorney again? We don't do attorneys in the South Pole."
"Yeah," said Zuko knowingly, "You guys don't even do law at the South Pole."
"Traditions." Katara said haughtily. "Carry the same weight here that laws do in other nations."
"Well." Aang started. "If it's an attorney you need, I can do that. I am the Avatar, that's my job."
"Your job is to stop Toph here from killing her fiancée. And also, maybe, to judge this thing, you are probably the only one who can." Said Sokka calculatingly. "You cannot also be the attorney. I think I can be your attorney Toph. I even have the hat to match Lu Shi's."
"He wears a hat?" She asked.
"More like a wig. It would be pretty ridiculous if it wasn't so pretty darn scary at the same time." Intervened Suki.
Toph thought about this for a moment.
"Well." She said crossing her arms. "I don't want a guy attorney. I want a girl."
"They don't even have attorneys here! Where are we going to find a girl one?" Groaned Zuko.
"Hey," Sokka sounded hurt, "What's with the discrimination? I thought we fought a war against things like that!"
Toph was adamant.
"I don't want a good attorney." She insisted. "I want a mean one. Katara, would you be my attorney?"
"Me?" She sounded between scared and pleased, "You want me?"
"Katara cannot be your attorney." A determined sounding Aang said. "She is not mean. She is too sweet and too nice. She would be incapable of fighting Lu Shi for you."
Toph heard Katara whispering to herself, like in shock, "Incapable?"
"You are wrong, Aang," Zuko intervened, "Katara is capable to defeating an army of Lu Shi's if necessary. She is a furious fighter and the best to cover one's back in battle."
"This is not a battle!" Aang insisted, "This is a court proceeding."
"You're wrong again," Zuko said resolutely, "The bloodiest battles I've ever seen have all happened inside court proceedings."
"Well," Aang said, and Toph heard him cross his arms stubbornly, "Katara may just be too good a person for something like this. As I understand from what the other attorneys said, Lu Shi never plays fair and he is malicious. How can someone like Katara compete with that?"
Toph decided to ignore Aang. Olympically.
"Honeycombs," she said turning to Katara, "Your future committed guy here thinks you are incapable of helping. Do you want to curl up on your bed and cry or do you want to help me?"
Katara's voice was ice.
"You are getting the meanest attorney in the entire South Pole. And Lu Shi is getting the worse comeuppance of his lifetime." She turned to Aang. "I will never turn my back on people who need me and ask for my help. I don't run away in gliders."
Silence, really uncomfortable silence, pervaded the corridor. Zuko took Aang aside.
"Katara is a warrior," Toph could hear him saying in a low voice. "She doesn't run away from fights."
"Why do all of you have this need to run into confrontations?"
"And why do you have this need to avoid conflicts? And now that we are on topic, when are you talking to her about you know what? "
Katara spoke next to her, making her jump.
"So, I'm in. Why me?"
"Because you are the best liar I know." Toph said. "Also, you think that you are always right; refuse to listen to other people's opinions; can get on everyone's nerves but manage to always get away with it because you are pretty and people think that you are good." She paused, "And you are. Good I mean. A good person. But not all the time. Which is OK, because people that are good all the time make my skin crawl."
Katara was dumbfounded. "Gee, Toph. Thanks. I'm moved." she said. Zuko and Aang came back. Something cold hung in the air, between them.
"Well, at least Katara has the hat situation covered." Sokka said. "Few things are more intimidating than that hairdo." Before he could dodge, Zuko added.
"You need to be careful, if Katara loses her temper in court she may drown opposing counsel." Before she could slap him, he dodged. "It's true! That's how you found Aang. Yelling at Sokka!"
"Well, if I am the Avatar and the judge to this, am I even supposed to be here?" Aang intervened. "Aren't there rules against the decision maker hanging out with one of the parties or something?"
"These are the Southern Water Tribe lands. Rules do not apply here." Suki said.
Katara grew tired of trying to slap two men at the same time. She just bent a water whip and slapped both of them in the back, simultaneously. She turned to Chin.
"So," she said, "If I am going to do this, what I am supposed to say or do in Court?"
"Follow your instincts My Lady." Chin counseled. "You are an intimidating Waterbender. And moreover, you know the traditions of your people. Lu Shi doesn't know those, so you have a tactical advantage. You are also in your land and your element. No one can defeat you here."
Zuko seemed pensive.
"Chin." He asked. "Remind me again why is it that you haven't been promoted?"
"Because I gamble, drink, lie and sneak shoddy scrolls to little Earthbender girls against my superior's orders."
"Ah, yes. That. Thank you for reminding me."
Katara meanwhile still seemed unconvinced.
"I am not even sure that I know the traditions of my land. Or if any of the traditions here may help nullify Lu Shi's laws."
Toph, however, was unfazed.
"If you cannot think of one, just make it up."
"What? Isn't that unethical?" Katara asked.
"I am not listening to this." Aang said, turning. He started humming. "La-la-la-la."
"Is he covering his ears?" Toph asked.
"As much as he can, yes." Sokka said. "There is a lot of ear to cover there, mind you."
"I don't know about unethical, but there must be some tradition, somewhere, that no one had ever heard of." Toph insisted.
Katara was not persuaded.
"I still think is wrong to do something like that."
"The problem with you Sugar-Cakes, is that you still haven't learned the difference between breaking a rule and doing something wrong." Toph said crossing her arms. "For your information, tables are meant for turning. You take too much pride in following the rules, and you still don't get it through your head that it does not necessarily means that you are doing the right thing."
At that moment, she heard someone coughing politely at the end of the aisle. She knew that little polite and deceiving cough. The 'I-am-harmless' cough.
She turned toward the cough.
"What do you want?" She asked defensively.
"A word." Kuei said. "Alone."
"No. Here. Where my friends can see you." A thought occurred to her. "And from now on, I will be with my bodyguards, so don't try anything funny."
"I wouldn't dream of it".
She walked to where he was. Her arms crossed over her chest, to make sure he would not try to grab her hand again.
"So." She said.
"So." And then, "are you still angry at me?"
"Why should I? Because you are trying to impose some laws on me, my parents and my city to force me to be your two hundred a seventy third concubine…"
"No." He was fast. "No. Never that. You are not going to be my concubine."
"No?"
"No. You are going to be my consort."
"By the look of this, I am going to be your punishment. So don't you go changing the semantics on me."
"It's not semantics. Your headpiece is ready."
"What headpiece?"
"Your crown." Toph burrowed her brow.
"Do I look like queen material to you?" She asked seriously.
"More than anyone I have ever met."
"Which should tell you how deluded you are. Listen Kuei, I don't wish you harm. Yet. Let this go. Before I do something regrettable."
"No." The Earth King moved and then she realized that he was kneeling. "I want you to be my wife. No one else makes me laugh like you do or helps me organize my life like you do. You are what an ancient and tired kingdom needs: a breath of fresh air. You are what I want for my children: strong with the most amazing bending abilities. And you are what I want for my heart, always stunning."
Toph was astonished. So, this is what romance was like. And then she remember Sparky's mom words. And realized that definitively it depended on the idiot.
She decided to let him down, gently.
"Over my dead body." She uncrossed her arms. "If you would have said this before pulling that one at the assembly and siccing your attorneys on me, I don't know. Maybe. But now, all I can promise you is this: there is a raffle to go to hell and you are buying all the tickets."
She turned and he grabbed her arm.
"Gladly, if we are going together. See you at the assembly." He let her go.
Toph walked over to her friends, with a frown.
"What happened to the shy, manhandled, little puppet Kuei that I left before traveling to this forsaken place?" She asked aloud. "Could it be the food?"
"Maybe it's your influence." Suki said. "You know, rubbing off on him?" She decided to let that one go for now.
"What did he mean, I am going to be his consort and not his concubine?"
"I am afraid he wants you as número uno." Sokka said.
"What does that mean?"
"Is foreign for like, his only one. You know, his only one for everything?"
She thought about this and then realization hit.
"Oh by the Spirits! He plans to visit me at night? I'm not going to be ignored like a good concubine? Eeeeewwww!! Sweetness you HAVE to win this one for me!"
0o0o0o0o0o0
Less than hour later, Toph was sitting with her hands on her lap. To her right sat Suki and to her left Katara. To Katara's left was Chin, on his best behavior and if she were to believe Suki, in his most polished armor, with ink, scrolls and seals in front of him looking like a serious secretary. Sitting at their backs, almost in a protective stance, were Sparky and Snoozles. Someone had rescued the Pebble and the Hippo, who were lending some muscle to her group. She knew the odds, but she had also done more with less. All of them had, and that gave her comfort. In front of them, across the room sat Kuei with his retinue. Presiding the proceedings were the heads of State, and in the middle Aang, who as Sokka suspected, had been chosen as impromptu judge for this case.
"Chief Hakoda of the Now Unified Southern Water Tribes opens the Fifth Session of the General Assembly of the First Official Peace Summit since the End of the One Hundred Year Old War Started by the Fire Nation. The First International Legal Case of the Four Nations is about to enter in Session, the Honorable Avatar Aang, the Last Airbender presiding. Being the Parties Kuei, the 52nd Earth King, henceforth referred to as the Earth King, and Toph Bei Fong, First Daughter of the Bei Fong Vassals from the Vassal State of Gaoling, henceforth referred to as Toph…"
"Objection!" Toph jumped on her seat. Bato, who was acting as court secretary/herald stopped reading, confused.
"Master Bei Fong." Lu Shi said, unctuously. "You cannot object here. These are only the introductory hearings."
"I refused to be called 'Toph' by your lot." She answered. Katara, next to her stood up.
"We would like to request the court to refer to Mistress Bei Fong as Great Master…" extraordinaire, added Toph helpfully "… Extraordinaire, or GM. Not Toph. To any of you. Ever." Katara sat down.
Sokka, behind them, said: "Way to go, sis. Between the hairdo, the law school drop out and the attitude we have this case locked airtight!"
Bato the Herald continued: "… hereby referred to as Great Master Extraordinaire….GM for short. The Parties have filed cross motions regarding the assessment of rights by the Earth King, also known as the Ius Primae Filia. The Honorable Lu Shi, Esquire, represents the Earth King. The Honorable Katara Water Tribe, represents GM."
"Esquire." She added helpfully. Bato was confused. "You didn't say esquire after my name."
Toph heard Zuko slapping his face, abusing Agni again. The day Agni decides to show up to call upon his descendant it's going to be one for the ages, she decided.
"You cannot be Esquire." Lu Shi said, again. "You did not attend law school."
Katara was unfazed.
"I attend Life School, that should be enough. Anyway, if it's about titles, then I want to be called by my warrior name. Katara Water Tribe, The Fire Nation Slayer."
"More like Katara the Fire Nation Layer." Mumbled Toph to Suki, next to her. Suki slapped her on the back of the head, "Whaa?" She yelped. "She is making that one up! Anyway, Aang is sitting like very far away from here."
Katara, thankfully, did not hear her. She was focusing on Lu Shi, who by now stood up.
"You honor," he started towards Aang, "May it please the Court …" and then went down a long and tortuous path full of numbers and law sections. Chin, sitting on the other side of Katara could be heard furiously scribbling on paper. Katara turned to Chin.
"What does ius primae filia mean?" She asked.
"It's foreign for 'Right to the First Daughter'."
"That sounds disgusting." She decided, and Toph heard her cross her arms. Good, Katara crossing her arms meant business. Lu Shi finished his tirade without no one on Toph's side the wiser regarding whatever he had just said. It was Katara's turn to speak.
"May it please the Court." She said regally. "We deny everything."
Lu Shi must have seen a lot in Court because he did not betray any emotion.
"You cannot deny everything, counselor." He said mordantly. "You need to answer the arguments."
"And what are the arguments again?" Lu Shi turned to Aang.
"You honor, I move to disqualify opposing counsel." Before Aang could answer, Katara interrupted.
"You cannot disqualify me," to Toph's surprise her voice was cold and unemotional, like his. "You don't have …" grounds whispered Chin, "Grounds."
This seemed to do the trick.
"Are you suggesting that I reprise my entire opening, then?" Lu Shi said.
Katara took a deep breath.
"We do not recognize your arguments." She obviously had no idea what the arguments were, but by now Toph suspected that, like her, she didn't care. "Great Master Bei Fong is not an Earth Kingdom citizen. She is a Fire Nation citizen. Your laws do not apply to her."
"But they do. As I explained in my opening arguments, the Earth Kingdom recognizes dual citizenship. She doesn't lose her citizenship, nor her rights or obligations because she is also a citizen of a friendly state. The Peace Treaty of 1089, ratified by the Four Harmonies Treaty of four years ago, which regulates dual citizenship for nationals of both the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation clearly establishes …"
"I believe you." Katara cut him in the middle of the tirade, 'bless her heart' thought Toph. Chin whispered something in Katara's ear, "In any case," she continued, "Great Master Bei Fong is right now on friendly South Pole soil, so if she so chooses she is also subject to the laws and traditions of this land."
"And how exactly does that impact the Earth King's case? We already established that the Great Master is subject to Earth Kingdom laws. Is there a South Pole law that prohibits the Earth King from exercising his rights on his vassals?"
"No." Katara answered, a bit tartly, "But there is a South Pole law against forcing a maiden into an arranged marriage against her will."
Toph heard gasps in the audience. She heard Sokka whispering to Zuko behind her, 'She is making that one up.'
"I am versant on all Water Tribe traditions," said Lu Shi, his voice unflinching, "And we happened to have brought as part of the Earth King's delegation an expert on Southern Water Tribe customs from Ba Sing Se University. And I can tell you, because we have done our research, there is no such tradition on the South Pole."
"Ah yeah?" said Katara ('She is putting her hands on her hips", Sokka whispered 'we may need to run for cover') "And who are you to tell me, or my people, what our traditions are? Just because you haven't learn this one doesn't mean it does not exist."
"If only you know about the tradition, then it is not a tradition. It needs to be an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior (as a religious practice or a social custom) and be practiced by many to be recognized. And as our expert here informs us, this is not the case here."
The thing with Katara was that when she got scared or confused, she also got angry. And when she got angry, she would fight like a demon.
"Who is this expert you keep quoting? How can an Earth Kingdom scholar know more about the South Pole than us?" There were rustling sounds, shifting of people and then she heard Katara say "You," and Sokka behind her "Is the crazy mass murderer witch that almost kill me and Aang! Zuko, I am scared!" Zuko behind her leaned closer to them, probably to have a better view, "So this is Hama."He murmured to himself "Katara's teacher."
"Hama." Katara said without losing her composure, "So you are a scholar now?"
"Which better place to preserve all the knowledge that was destroyed by the Fire Nation than a University?" the woman answered with a cackle. Yep, that was a cackle alright. Not even the hag in the back of Toph's head could cackle like that. "Over there, they care about the lost knowledge. Not like others, with short memories and weak hearts, ready to forget the unforgivable and to forgive the unspeakable."
"Oh shut it. We are not here to hear your grievances." Katara dismissed her haughtily. She was probably doing it as a way to cover a rising sense of panic. Chin wrote something and hurriedly passed it to Katara. Katara immediately said, "The South Pole was conformed until today by scattered tribes. Hama's tribe was not mine. So I reserve the right to …" she stopped, trying to figure out something, probably trying to read the piece of paper. "Refute," whispered Chin, "… to refute Hama's testimony."
"So are you producing a rebuttal expert, then?" Lu Shi asked. Katara probably did not know what 'rebuttal' meant, but she was a fast learner.
"I am. I am going to re-butt you from here into next week." She answered. "I introduce Kana, formerly from the Northern Water Tribe and now our living expert on Southern Water Tribe Feminist customs." Toph heard comments, whispering from the audience. Sokka behind her was talking to Zuko. "Is it prohibited for a counselor to get a grandma to lie for her on the stand?"
Zuko, dragging Agni on the mud again, answered, "You did not ask that, I did not hear the question and this conversation never happened. We don't know anything for certain regarding perjury from expert witnesses."
Wow, thought Toph, all these Fire Nation royals are like natural born attorneys or something.
Suki whispered in Toph's ear, "Gran-Gran is approaching the center of the room and standing next to Hama. They are circling each other now."
Chin jumped in.
"Three copper pieces on the ugly witch." He said, putting money on the table. Suki put a fan on top.
"Five on Gran-Gran"
"I'm in," said Toph, "Seven on Gran-Gran"
Sokka leaned over.
"Actually, eight on Hama. That's an ugly, mean, scary witch if I know one."
Zuko leaned over too.
"You are all an embarrassment." He said, and from the sound of his voice, Toph knew he had to be pinching his nose. "Ten on Gran-Gran." He added, a slight touch of mirth finding it's way into his raspy voice. "She's Katara's grandma, the other witch won't know what hit her."
Lu Shi was questioning Gran-Gran now.
"So, are we to believe that there is this unique tradition, only practiced in Chief Hakoda's tribe, regarding a prohibition against arranged marriages?"
Katara held her breath. Toph knew that Gran-Gran was very strict regarding truthfulness and deceit. They all held their breaths.
"There is." Gran-Gran said and whispers filled the room.
"That's a lie!" screamed Hama. "No Tribe on the South Pole prohibited arranged marriages. We didn't practice them, but we did not prohibit them."
Kana did not lose her composure.
"The tradition exist in my tribe because I started it." Her voice was clear and sharp, as the ice, and Toph immediately knew from where had Katara inherited her dual quality for nobility and transgression. "When I came here seeking refuge from the barbaric customs of the Northern Water Tribe regarding arranged marriages, I vowed to the Spirits that no girl in my adopted Tribe would ever have to face such ordeal. My son won't let me lie. He upholds his mother's vow."
Sokka whispered behind her, 'They are dragging Dad into this, Zuko. Now we are all perjuring our way into hell.'
Chief Hakoda took a step forward.
"My honor and the honor of my Tribe is to do what is just. My mother does not lie, we don't condone forcing girls into anything here."
Toph felt her chest expand. Not only were Kana and Hakoda lying through their teeth for her, she knew the entire village would now come forward and swear that this was an ancient tradition even if it was minted exactly ten minutes ago.
Lu Shi seemed delighted.
"So, there is not forcing little girls into marriages then." He said, "Then, in the name of the Earth King we invoke the right to a Contest of the Frosts."
A universal held of collective breath sounded in the Assembly. She turned to Suki, "Whaa?"
"No idea." The warrior said.
Zuko behind her was whispering with Sokka "What's that?"
"That's bad, that what it is. No one has invoked that in one hundred and fifty years!"
Even Katara was at loss. She turned to Kana.
"Gran-Gran?" She started. Kana sounded disgusted.
"No one has invoked such barbaric tradition in this land for over a hundred and fifty years." She said ominously. "Hama Water Tribe, you're already cursed, but I call our ancestors on you. For each day of misery in the life of this girl, may you suffer tenfold."
The curse reverberated down the hall.
"I was already in hell." Hama said with the cackle. "And came back. All the days of misery in store for this girl won't pay back the width of my despair."
Toph leaned back towards Zuko and Sokka.
"This sounds bad. Am I going to be boiled in oil or something?"
"At the end of this, you may wish for that as an option." Sokka mumbled darkly.
Katara was furiously whispering with her father and Gran-Gran. Suddenly she stopped, and turned to Toph.
"I am so sorry." She whispered. "So sorry."
Now even Toph was on edge.
"What?" She asked. "What's going to happen to me?"
Chief Hakoda of the United Southern Water Tribes took a step forward and addressed the assembly.
"The Earth King has invoked the right to a Contest of the Frosts. Under the traditions of the Water Tribes we cannot refuse the request. No one can without invoking the wrath of Tui and La upon our entire world." Hakoda breathed deeply, and continued, pronouncing every word like it tasted foul on his lips. "Great Master Extraordinaire Toph Bei Fong, hereby I declare the Contest of the Frosts open upon your hand. All suitors of this land and beyond that may seek or want your hand in marriage are free to do so by a battle of wits and a battle of force. The contest is to last a week, and whomever is left standing at the end will have your hand in marriage. If no suitor steps forward to challenge the Earth King the Contest is won and you will be forfeited to the King." Hakoda took a step back, and then said very softly. "I am so sorry my child."
Toph rose to her feet.
"What's this? From bad to worse? What's the difference between this stupid contest and just marrying Kuei directly?"
Sokka grabbed her arm.
"The difference is that now," he said with a sense of urgency and concern in his voice, "anyone who competes and win may have you. It's not only Kuei anymore, Toph. Open season has been officially declared and you are the game."
A/N: Obviously I am not a math major. If I were, I would have picked up the fact that if this is happening 4 years after the war, Zuko would be 21 already, Aang and Toph 17, etc. So, this is happening almost 4 years after the war, Aang is about to be 17 because is autumn (and he's an airbender, thus probably born during that season), Sokka and Katara will be 20 and 19 in winter, Sukki and Toph 20 and 17 during the Spring and finally Zuko 21 during the summer. Everything falls into place now.
Also, I keep thinking about how they look. This is how I think they look:
Everyone, except Zuko, look exactly like Greenifyme's drawings in deviant art, in her lovely comic "Revealing Destiny". Go and check it out. It's a work in progress. http : / / greenifyme dot deviantart dot com / art / Revealing-Destiny-Prologue-1-79681912
Zuko looks like a drawing by Sorceressmyr called Zuko the Banished Prince. I love that drawing, so that is how I imagine him to look. http : / / sorceressmyr dot deviantart dot com / art / zuko-the-banished-prince-72483755