XIII. Getting to know the suitors, Part I.
After running until she could not hear anything anymore, Toph stopped. She then walked aimlessly, wondering what was next and where was she supposed to go. She had no idea where the rest of her friends were, or what they were doing. Being in one piece was enough for now. She found a door and stepped out to a freezing breeze. She breathed the fresh air.
"Wow." She thought. "This place is cold, horrid and smells like fish. Who would live here voluntarily?" She was distracted by voices.
"But the poster says that five thousand gold pieces go to the winner!" some guy with a whiny voice was saying.
"Yes, it says that, but check the small print man, I'm telling you, always check the small print: that's extra on top of having to marry some earthbender lass. I mean, how desperate can they be that they are offering all this money?"
"Maybe she's … ugly?"
"Ugly is easy. I can do ugly. Some warts, some missing teeth, I can handle that. But five thousand gold pieces sounds to me like ugly and mean. These are rich people trying to dump this wench on someone, it sounds to me like we are dealing with major, bloodcurdling meanness here."
"Aren't the Bei Fongs like the richest people in the known world?"
"Wow, you are right. They are."
"Hey, where are you going?"
"To sign myself up. With the Bei Fongs, five thousand is the down payment. I can do ugly, mean and smelly if the Bei Fongs are backing this up."
Toph stood there unmoved in more than one sense. She then decided to go back inside. Obviously, the suitor situation would not be a problem anymore. She wondered if she should have told Sokka that technically, she didn't have any money. All the family riches were controlled by her dad and she was not supposed to see a copper piece until she was twenty five. Some ridiculous provision drafted by, of course, her parents vampire-turned-attorney. She wondered what would happen if any of those guys won the Contest. She then shrugged the idea. She was not marrying anything or anyone that may win that Contest. She was supposed to die first, and unless Twinkle Toes managed to get her a reprieve, she would be dying for real.
"Toph!" a shrilly scream made her jump. She knew that voice, there was no mistaking that voice. "Look at you! You are so grown up and everything!" Someone embraced her and then, "But look at your aura, is so bright and green! It used to be yellow with gray polka dots, what happened?"
"Ty-Lee." She said sotto-voice. "Nice to see you."
"But you can't see!" The warrior said happily. "What's this I'm hearing about you marrying the Earth King? It's so cool, you're going to be Queen and everything and when Mai becomes Fire Lady is like all my friends will be married to important guys!"
Toph thought about the loose use of the word friend.
"Mai is going to be Fire Lady?" she asked instead, seriously.
"Well, it's all over the Fire Nation. She send me a letter about it and everything."
"Sparky proposed before coming here?"
"He must have. There is no reason for Mai to tell me that she will be Fire Lady next year unless they are, you know, getting married."
Layer-cake, thought Toph. This is a freaking layer-cake, with layer upon layer of messy stuff and crappy filling in the middle just for flavor.
"So," She asked, needing to know "How long have Sparky and Sun… , sorry, Mai been engaged?"
"A couple of weeks, maybe. They got back together just before he came over here. Actually, I think it was the only reason why she took him back, because he proposed."
Toph thought about Mai.
"So, she took back a guy that dumped her twice, first by letter and then by express singing courier(+) after over a year of not seeing him, just because he proposed?"
(+) She should know, she was the one who proposed the idea to him one Music Night when they were out in the middle of nowhere, and he had been whining about his relationship under the influence of fire whiskey. The terrible part was that he had taken her seriously and next morning, when everybody was drinking the Chaser they realized that Private Lee was missing, on his way to the Fire Nation to sing the break up message to Mai. Toph wondered what would happen if Mai ever found out that she had been the one who dictated the message. She couldn't remember the lyrics well, but there was something on the lines of:
"Took us a long time to give Z a positive outlook on life. We don't want to see our hard work down the drain. Motivation is not a four letter word, oooaaaahhh, ooooaaahhhh."
All of that to the catchy beat of a Sunghi Horn and a pair of maracas that she shoplifted somewhere back on Ember Island. Private Lee survived to tell the tale, but he would still cry if someone mentioned Mai's name in front of him. Toph made a mental note of getting Bumi to grant political asylum to Lee, in case Mai ever became Fire Lady for real.
"Well," Ty-Lee said, "Yeah. What's wrong with that? I thought it was so romantic and everything!"
Toph thought about the scene she had just walked out from.
"So, my Circus warrior friend" she asked "How long does it take for a letter to arrive from here to the Fire Nation?"
"Toph!!" Suki's voice brought her back to reality. She felt the other warrior running to her. "Are you OK?" before Toph could answer, Suki gave Ty Lee a commanding order.
"Ty-lee, go and gather the other warriors. We're going to need reinforcements." Ty-Lee saluted and left with a "Sir, yess, sir!". Toph was impressed. From one Captain to another, she made a slight bow towards Suki. Suki, however, grabbed her by the arm and started walking dragging her and talking in hush-hush tones.
"When I went to get Katara, she had already broken a chair. I went looking for you, but the door to the room where I left you was locked."
"Yeah, I'm OK. Look, I'm alive."
"Yes, but what I mean is, I don't know where Katara is. She may be looking for you right now."
"No, she isn't. I already saw her. She forgave me."
"Really? So soon? Well, this is good I guess. Everybody is waiting for you. Let's go. I'm still supposed to find Zuko, and for the look of this, Katara as well."
"I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for them." Toph mumbled. Suki froze. She stopped and turned to Toph.
"Really?" She then lowered her voice in typical warrior stealth fashion. "Do we need to perform an intervention?"
Toph thought about them again and how she had left them.
"Do you have a crowbar with you by any chance?"
"No."
"Then don't bother."
They walked in silence to a room where assorted people were meeting. Toph walked into the room with her chin high. She could hear the conversations, Sokka sounded excited.
"The list is huge!" he was saying. His dad was less enthusiastic.
"Sokka," Hakoda said seriously. "Getting a bunch of low-lifes to participate is not going to make the Contest less dangerous. I know you want to make Kuei back down, but this will probably have the opposite effect."
"Can I reject any of the suitors?" Toph asked.
"No, you can't. It's customary, though, for the suitors to be introduced to you. They can back down voluntarily, but you cannot reject them."
She thought about this.
"So, if I like a suitor I convince him to stay, if I dislike him I convince him to walk away." She said aloud. It was not a question, it was a statement. "I like this!" She said honestly. "Besides earthbending, is the most entertaining thing I've done in a while." She careful left out the entertainment value of the activities from the previous night.
Everyone seemed to turn to her.
"Are you saying that you want to know the suitors?" Someone asked walking towards her. Aang. She assented.
"Of course I do. I may end up marrying one of these guys, so I may as well start acting like a nag now."
She felt Aang getting upset next to her.
"No one will force you into marriage." He said with the same fervor Sparky spoke to her the night before.
She turned to him and wondered. She then shook her head. She had no experience (unlike other people around her) about juggling guys or doing things in the dark that were not to be talked about during daytime. Well, she was always in the dark, so that right there killed the analogy. Re-phrasing, she was not in the habit of doing things at night that she would not be able to discuss in the morning. And as far as she knew, he didn't either. So she wondered if their daytime relationship would be affected by this. Katara and Zuko's had and it hadn't. It was really difficult to explain. The latent electricity between them was always there, had always been there, but it shifted. From antagonistic to (what was Suki's word?) elated to sad to yearning. Sometimes, it would flick and shift through all of these emotions within the same hour. Sometimes too, it was hard to be around all that electricity. She knew that Suki could feel it too. And lately, their yearning had been so thick that it felt like a contagious disease, an inner craving that was starting to seep through all of them and was making them do crazy things. Like kissing friends at night with lips full of nostalgia. She shook her head again.
"What's with that?" The hag complained, "Are you going all sissy and touchy-feely on me now?"
"It's OK, Twinkle Toes." She said with a shrug. "I know you will put in a good word for me with the Spirits. But we need to go through this now. OK!" She said aloud. "Who has the list?"
The list turned out to be a surprise.
There were people in the list she had never heard of, but some of the names were a complete shocker. Besides Kuei, she knew Captain Yin, Jeong-Jeong, the Pebble, and … June the bounty hunter?
"Is that allowed?" She asked. Hakoda answered.
"There's nothing that specifically prohibits it, so I guess it's allowed."
"What's June doing in the South Pole?" asked Toph aloud, and she heard Fire Lord Pops coughing behind her. "Don't bother, I think I know." She muttered. Sokka continued reading the list.
"Who are Colonel Mongke and the Rough Rhinos?" He asked.
"It's a special task group that served under me back during my Ba Sing Se days" Fire Lord Pops said. "They are very … interesting." He finished, lamely, obviously at a loss for words for once in his lifetime.
"Can they enter as a team?" Toph asked. "I didn't know that teams were allowed."
Hakoda took the list from Sokka's hand.
"Actually, I'm not sure." He said, and she imagined him frowning his brow.
"There's nothing that prohibits it." Master Pakku, next to Hakoda, said. "So I guess it's allowed."
Toph threw her hands in the air.
"Are there any rules in this stupid contest? Seems to me that nothing that is not specifically forbidden is automatically allowed. So what's forbidden?"
Uncomfortable silence gave her the answer. Before anyone said anything, she assented sadly.
"Let me guess, the only thing prohibited in this Contest is for me to say no."
"Basically" Sokka said "that's sums it up."
"So, what are the Rough Rhinos going to do with me, marry me all and divide me by the days of the week?" She asked in wonder. She heard some gasps of horror.
"No" Hakoda said firmly. "Only one winner can have your hand. I guess Colonel Mongke as the leader is the one who marries you, if they win. The rest …" He stopped. "I don't know what happens with the rest. You see my child, there is no precedent for any of this."
Pakku was solemn when he spoke.
"This Contest is usually between two, three suitors at the most, all of them from the Water Tribes and all of them known to the maiden. We really have not precedent for what's going on right now."
Toph put her hands behind her head.
"I was born for this. To break all the rules of a Contest with no rules." She turned to Aang. "Hey T.T., Did you by any chance meet the Goddess of Fate when you were in the Spirit world?"
"No, why?"
"Need to talk to her." Need to ask her, seriously, what did I do. She could picture herself groveling pretty hard, because Fate was coming after her with vengeance.
The rest of the list was unremarkable, except for a guy whose name was unreadable because the ink was all smudged and wet.
"I saw that guy putting his name down." Suki said. "He foams at the mouth."
"Eeewww!" Sokka yelled, dropping the list. "Mouth foam on the list! I need to wash!" He ran out of the room.
Toph cracked her knuckles.
"OK." She said happily. "I'm ready to start meeting my suitors."
The first one to come into the room was the Pebble. Toph, who was sitting demurely on her ankles, in the middle of the room, with Suki and Aang at either side, and the rest of the group behind her, crossed her arms.
"Of all the brainless things you have done since we left Gaoling, Pebble, putting your name on that list is the tops."
"The Boulder feels conflicted that his little earthbending friend is going to be hand out in marriage to anyone, out there." He said bombastically. "The Boulder cannot allow that to happen. The Boulder promised Master Lao Bei Fong that he would watch over the Blind Bandit like a hawk."
"Pebble, if you put your name in that list, that means that you get to participate in the Contest. And if, by some miracle, you win you get to marry me. Get it? You."
She could feel his fear.
"The Boulder," he said, panic in his voice, "is not ready for marriage."
"I know. So, be a good boy and scratch your name voluntarily from the list. If you have any doubts, you think about it: you and me in the Earth Kingdom, married."
That did the trick. His name was off the list with so much speed that the paintbrush was smoking afterwards.
The next one was Captain Yin. She actually respected Yin, and she knew that his wife had passed away relatively recently, leaving him with two kids and a broken heart.
"Yin" she said nicely "What's this?"
"Master Bei Fong." He said seriously, "The guys and I had a talk. We all think that you need a friend out there, in this Contest, fighting for your hand. You should at least have the chance that one of the participants may care for you."
She raised her eyebrows.
"And you got the short ended stick?" She asked in surprise.
"No, Master. I volunteered."
She felt deeply moved. He was honest and honorable, like a little version of Sparky.
"Yin, I'm moved beyond words. I know this is a sacrifice for you. You have young children, you cannot risk your life for me. I know I'm a fellow soldier, and that you would do the same for any guy in your team, but I'm not defenseless. I've the Avatar, the Fire Prince, the most fearsome waterbender, her brother and the head of the Kyoshi warriors all around to protect me." She bowed deeply, her fist against the base of her open palm. "I'm honored to have served under you. Please remove your name from the list, voluntarily."
He seemed doubtful and then got closer and mumbled very low, so only she could hear.
"Chin says that if things get really tough and you end up marrying any of the participants, that Fire Nation laws are the only ones that allow for couples to separate and reverse their vows. For seven copper pieces he can do the paperwork for you. Don't lose your Fire Nation citizenship."
She assented and mumbled from the corner of her mouth.
"Tell Chin to keep hiding for now. I'll send word."
Captain Yin saluted and scratched his name from the list.
"I'm on a roll!" she said happily. The next one to enter the room was Kuei. Followed by an army of courtiers, attorneys, and advisors. The only ones missing were the Dai Li, who she sincerely hoped by now had taken over the kingdom and depose the moron.
"What do you want?" She asked aggressively, and then, with hope: "Are you taking your name of the list?"
"No." He said calmly. "I wanted to ask you if Bosco is the problem."
She opened her mouth like a fish, flabbergasted.
"Kuei," She said slowly and earnestly. "Bosco is so not the problem. Let me put it this way, I'll marry Bosco before I'll marry you. Does that clarifies the issue for you?"
He sounded really peppy now.
"If that's the case, then underline my name on the list." He told Hakoda happily.
Toph slapped her forehead.
"I just encouraged him again, didn't I?" she asked aloud. Aang touched her fingers with his, and she blushed again.
"You did, Sifu T." He said honestly. "You just told him that he gets to keep his pet if you guys marry."
Kuei was turning away, so she had to say this before he left.
"Kuei, if you win my hand in this Contest," She called after him, crossing her arms. "I vow on my ancestors that that's the only thing you will win. My hand. The rest of me, look at it very hard because it's the last time you will see it." She thought hard about something hurtful to say, "And believe me, I'll raise iguana-birds before raising your children."
Kuei breathed deeply, without turning.
"I wish there was a different way to court you." He said sadly, and left.
After Kuei left, there were some noises, some rustle of people and Suki whispered in her ear:
"Katara just came through the door."
Toph felt Katara walking to where she was. Aang stood up and gave his seat to Katara, standing at the back with Sokka and the rest.
"I can feel you are flushed." Toph said evenly, when her friend sat next to her.
"And I can see you are alive with no missing parts." She answered, equally calm. "I wouldn't push my luck if I were you."
"Fair enough." Silence, and then, "Less tense, I hope?"
"A bit."
"Guilt?"
"Horribly."
"Happy?"
"Very."
"Truce?"
"Here is your bracelet." Katara put the metal in Toph's hand and they both knew that the crisis had passed. "What are we doing?" Katara then asked, leaning over. Suki answered.
"Toph is convincing suitors she cares about to scratch their names from the list. She is doing well."
Katara was aghast.
"So, you are only leaving participants that you don't like?"
Toph assented.
"That's the idea. Death needs to look like a good alternative to move the Spirits."
She suddenly felt Katara perking up. As if her entire body abruptly came to life and vibrated. Suki mumbled on her ear:
"Zuko just entered the room." Toph nodded. It figures.
The next name on the list was Jeong-Jeong. That was a mystery to her.
"So, Master" she asked cautiously "Why are you on the list?"
"I need the money." The deserter said simply. Toph thought about this hard.
"OK!" She said happily. "You can stay in the contest!"
Katara and Suki gasped.
"What are you doing? That guy is like old, and creepy!" Katara asked hurriedly. "He may be White Lotus but he's creepy anyway."
Toph shrugged.
"He needs the money and he's Fire Nation. If he wins, and I hope he does, I can paid him off to repudiate me."
The girls were impressed.
"Wow!" They said. "You are like an earth king, a mad genius."
"I know."
Some other guys that she did not know came into the room. She would let Katara and Suki give her the description and then she would do two things: either tell the suitor that the reward was a lie, that there was no money, or she would not say anything and let the guy choose for himself. Usually, they would scratch themselves from the list at the notice that there was no money, or she would play the helpless blind girl and mention aloud that she was disabled and condemned to a life of, well, disability.
After an hour of that, the friends grew tired and someone asked for a recess for lunch. Katara immediately stood up, excused herself and left. Suki said something about eating and Toph decided to go with her. Once outside the room they started walking. Sokka was talking about how some Earth Kingdom immigrants had opened a bakery at the South Pole and how the entire outer village was changing thanks to people willing to build a life here. Toph half heard the conversation. Suddenly, she remembered her bracelet. She had left it in the session room.
"Wait for me here, guys!" She said. "I'll be back in a minute."
She ran back to the room and found her bracelet where she had left it. She was becoming better at orienting herself on wood and ice. Which was good. On the way back, she passed next to a door, and then stopped. She could hear muffled sounds.
"What if someone comes looking for us?"
"We are in a closet. Who looks for people in closets?"
"I can't believe we are doing this again."
"Again today or in our lives?"
"Both."
"Regrets?"
"Goodness gracious, not right now, no!"
Toph shook her head. When she met with her friends, Sokka suddenly asked.
"Have you seen my sister?"
"She is at the bakery." She answered without missing a beat.
"At the bakery?" Sokka scratched his head. "What's she doing at the bakery?"
"Stuffing herself with fruit." She answered flatly. "Are we eating or not?"
0o0o0o0o
After lunch, they were supposed to go back to meet the rest of the suitors, as the Contest was scheduled to open the next morning. Toph did not feel like meeting anymore guys. She decided that if they wanted to participate and kill themselves for five thousand gold pieces, they could do so. She really did not care.
So, she snuck out from Aang, Sokka and Suki's gaze, (Katara and Zuko probably testing the soundproofing capabilities of every broom closet in the South Pole) and walked the other way. She did not know where she was going, but soon found herself in what felt like a wide open space.
"Hey!" A soft voice, like a purr, said behind her. She turned. She would have recognized that voice immediately, but the smell was what gave the person away before speaking. It was a powerful smell, a mixture of flowers (gardenias, maybe?), musk and alcohol. Probably very high quality fire whiskey.
"What's up bounty hunter?" Toph said calmly. "I heard your name is in the list." She felt the woman coming closer, and circling her slowly. Like a cat. Toph felt a prick on her neck. The woman must be looking at her intensely.
"It is." The woman answered. "Five thousand gold pieces is a lot of money."
"Yep" Toph said, "but you should have read the small print. The prize includes marriage, er, to me. I'll bet that's a surprise."
"Not really." June said, still circling. "You have certainly grown up since last time I saw you. A lot."
Toph shifted on her feet. And put her hands on her hips.
"So?" She asked defiantly. "You mean you are entering this Contest knowing that I am part of the winnings?"
"Yes." June said, her deep sexy voice dripping honey. "Why are you so surprised? There is nothing wrong with fighting for the hand of little pretty girls loaded with money."
"There are so many things wrong with that picture that I need five abacus to finish the count." Toph retorted.
June was unfazed. Toph felt the tips of the woman's fingers tracing her cheek and now she was really too surprised to react.
"I always had a soft stop for sassy little girls." June said. Was June doing the husky thing?
"Are you doing the husky thing?" Toph asked frowning. June chuckled, a deep throaty laugh.
"Why? Do you like the husky thing?" June asked and Toph felt sudden alarm.
"This is about my money, isn't?" She demanded. Suddenly, it was very important that it was about the money. And only about the money.
"If you say so." June said, and then, almost soothingly, she added while openly caressing her cheek. "The money is an added perk."
"Oh the Spirits!!" Toph turned and ran, screaming, "Katara, Suki!!"
0o0o0o0o0
Toph was sitting in the middle of a room surrounded by Aang, Suki, Sokka, Katara and Zuko, who had finally reappeared. Aang was at her side and Katara was sitting on her other side, her arm around Toph's shoulders.
"You know," Toph said slowly, a cup of hot fire whiskey in her hand, shaking "I think June was trying to … seduce me."
"Seduce you? How?" the interest in Sokka's voice was almost unnerving.
"I mean, like seduce-seduce me." Toph contained a shudder, and felt Katara's hand helping her push the cup to her mouth. She drank the whiskey. "She said that it was not only about the money. That the money was a perk."
Silence hung in the room for a moment. Then, Zuko said:
"Well, I thought it was obvious to all of us that June like girls."
"She does?" Toph gulped, panic really setting in. "I thought she was here with Pops."
"She is," Zuko said "But you know how it is with uncle, he doesn't really judge other people's … choices."
The silence that followed told her something else. Something not being said.
"Why are you all so quiet? What's going on?" She resorted to the infallible, she elbowed Aang.
"Ouch!" He said, rubbing his ribs. "Well, we didn't know that you would react so against it." He answered, cautiously.
"What do you mean?" She heard shuffle of feet, and could imagine that they were all looking at each other and at the floor. "Katara, what does Twinkle Toes mean?" She was trying not to yell.
"Well," Katara's voice was very sweet. "Toph, honey, we all thought that you may, ahem, welcome June's advances. You know, that you may be interested in the possibility."
"Wait." Realization finally sunk in. And you thought you were the sharp one, the hag said. "Wait, are you guys saying that you all thought that I am into alternative choices? Like Haru??" She stood up, trembling. "What's wrong with you all?" Several voices jumped at the same time.
"But Toph!" Suki said "you are our friend, we just want your happiness!"
and Zuko "You know we won't stop liking you just because you are different!"
and Katara "But Toph, you always seemed so militarily oriented!"
and even Sokka "We love you anyway, and if you let us watch, we will love you even more!" She heard Suki slapping him hard. "Ouch! Whaa??"
She turned to Aang.
"And you" She was very angry now, even though she wasn't exactly sure why. "You've been what? Playing the 'detached airbender' thing while thinking all the time that I am into girls??" She stopped for a second. "Not that there is anything wrong with that." She felt obligated to add, before turning towards all of them. "Why no one said anything, ever? Were you expecting me to show up with a girlfriend one of these days?"
Silence followed, so she knew that it was exactly what they had been expecting.
"I hate you." She said, and it required all her self control for her voice not to break. "All of you." She stomped her feet, but nothing happened. Ice, bamboo and wood. Freaking, freaking ice. She grabbed the fire whiskey bottle. "I'm leaving!!" she yelled and left the room.
0o0o0o0o0
Katara and Suki found her hunched in the armoire. Lately, the stupid smelly armoire was becoming like her second house.
"But Toph" Katara said from outside the door, when Toph slammed it back in her face. "You need to understand that none of us can see things as clearly as you do. We get confused. We were just trying to respect your space."
Suki added, honest apologies in her voice.
"You never seemed to be into boys that much. Always hanging out with all those soldiers and not once getting involved with anyone."
"They fear me too much." Toph said with a sigh, that was almost a controlled sob. She suddenly opened the door, almost hitting the two girls in the face with it. "You should have known!" She screamed at Katara. "Weren't you like the resident hot chick of the group or something? If I was into girls, I'd have been trying to feel you up!!"
"You did feel me up! In Suki's room, remember?"
"Aaaarrgghh!! That doesn't count! I was taking measurements!!" She slammed the door shut again.
At the end, it took the five of them to come over and beg for forgiveness before she was willing to leave the armoire. They had to promise to refer to her as Great Master and Champion Extraordinaire Who is Absolutely Not into Girls (not that there is anything wrong with that) plus each had to pledge to be her slave for one day, date of payment to be decided sometime in the future. She then left the armoire, bottle of fire whiskey in hand, and temper very, very short.
A/N: I need to put a disclaimer here: Any similarities between my story and BurningIce's 'Midsummer Madness' are truly and purely coincidental. She says that great minds think alike, which I hope is true because of the greatness factor, of course. We're calling a medium to check the 'tuning'. :-)