XXVIII. The Heart of a Good Bet.

It was her fault, Toph decided in the morning. Totally her fault. She knew about the festivals, the concubines, the poetry, and that this was a Barefaced Monk. This was the same monk that kissed her for the first time while engaged to her friend. True, her friend was kissing someone else, but the monk didn't know that. She was angry at herself. She thought that she could play grown-up games and got her heart involved in the process. Always under the hope, no, the belief that he would choose her at the end. She banged her forehead against the door.

"You're a dream come true," he had said in her ear. She was on a table, of all places. There were no tables in her room, but he needed a desk so he had one in his room. He had grabbed her by the waist and sat her on the desk, his hands caressing her knees, his mouth on hers. He had separated her thighs, and embraced her. She bit her lip when he crossed her threshold, with the same grace of movement he would have for everything. She suspected that hers were less graceful but more to the point. He was moving inside her, with her, and against her. Her arms around his neck, her legs high, wrapped around his torso, her ankles crossed at his back. His cadence was that of the breeze, his kisses those of fire. His hands on her hips guiding her movements were as grounded as the earth, and to her total happiness there was water, not ice, not ice anywhere. Just the wetness. The wetness that kept multiplying with their passion, and that escalated until she let his name loose in her sighs.

"Snap out of it," she reminded herself, and felt the sting of bittersweet tears that she obstinately blinked away. She was thinking and feeling. And she hated being at the mercy of both her thoughts and her feelings. Today was the last day. The last task. And last night had been a long and empty night.

"You can't be angry because you fell in love."

"Shut up Fate."

"It's better to love and lose than…"

"Shut up or I'll burn all icons and images I find of you."

"I'm sorry it hurts so much. I can bless you with not feeling anything if you want." Toph thought about it. That meant not caring enough to be angry and anger was a source of power right now.

"No thanks."

She dressed herself with purpose. The cretin monk was probably so upset right now because she had dumped him that he was capable of doing something stupid like winning the Agni Kai. She wanted to warn him not to act like a petulant child and suck it up. The Agni Kai reminded her of Katara and Zuko and something in her heart jumped. There was no need to make everyone unhappy in this story. Those two, they could still make it. She was condemned to a life of misery, anyway. She didn't have to drag everyone down with her.

"Don't let my son win," Fate warned.

"Would you shut up? I lost already, get it? Go get a cigar!"

"You know what would help?"

"For you to go to hell?"

"I'll bet there is someone out there who knows about chance. The art of the odds, that's the heart of a good bet."

There was a knock on her door. Not the anguished banging of the night before. The banging had stopped after a while and she had heard him going away. She had fell asleep cocooned by the Goddesses heartrending songs and conversation, which somehow had turned into a crying-fest of immortal lost loves and lost memories, peppered by Fate's serious need of a new addiction. She suspected that the Goddesses had enchanted her into a deep slumber, because she didn't wake up until the morning. The knock on the door repeated itself. She now stopped on her tracks, and went to hear who was it. She heard Fate.

"I don't plan. I guide."

"Who is it?" she asked, distrustful.

"It's me, Great Master. Corporal Chin."

She leaned her forehead against the door and breathed. She was disappointed but relieved at the same time. When she opened the door, however, she heard rustle of feet behind Chin. Like if someone was quickly getting up to his feet. She recognized his smell. Sandalwood, saffron and summer breeze. It had been haunting her for the last couple of weeks. She ignored him, deciding to focus on the smell of the bird on Chin's shoulder.

"Yes, Chin?"

"Great Master, El Tuerto has been back since yesterday. I though you would like to send the next message."

"Come in."

Chin hesitated. She could hear him turning to look at Aang standing in the corridor. She could feel Aang looking at her. For a moment she wondered if he had spent the night there. Unlikely, this was Aang she was talking about. So she kept her composure. Blindness on ice was a blessing now. Not having to deal with awkward vibrations.

"Great Master, I think the Avatar wants to talk to you."

"Are you coming inside or not?"

"But the Avatar …"

"The Avatar has better things to do, Chin." She stepped aside to let him in. Chin got into the room, but still lingered, unsure about what to do.

"Toph," Aang called. She did not turn her head towards him and just closed the door.

"That was harsh," Chin said in a low voice. It was the first time since she had known him that the soldier was volunteering something resembling criticism. She understood then that Chin really liked Aang. Figures. Everybody liked Aang and wanted to protect him.

"He's not a child," she told him curtly. "He doesn't need your protection."

"I know. It's not him that I'm concerned about, Great Master."

"I don't need your protection either. I thought we established that the first time I bended you into an infirmary."

"You may not need a protector, but you look like you could use a friend," Chin said, and she heard the fetid bird flapping its wings.

And then El Tuerto flew to her shoulder. And Toph felt the talons through the fabric, and the smelly wings touching her ear and cheek, and instead of the usual irreverent feeling, she sensed understanding exuding from it. Obviously, El Tuerto knew pain. At least, it could recognize it. And for some unphantomable reason, being offered empathy by an immoral chicken undid her. She sat on the floor and started crying for the first time since the events of the night before. With a malodorous, brutal, sympathetic bird on her shoulder and a compassionate ex-convict holding her hand, Toph learned then that comfort can come from the most unexpected sources, and that it should be equally welcomed. And at that moment, she stopped calling El Tuerto "it" and started calling him "he".

When she stopped crying, she wiped her tears and smiled.

"Okay, Chin, I have the next message for Lady Mai. Write this down: Dear Mai: Fourth Rule of the Girly Code. Long trips + no letters + FORGETTING you were in jail (equals) Suspicion. Signed, The Blind Bandit."

She heard Chin nodding.

"Good message, Great Master. Very good."

She was grateful that he hadn't said anything about the crying or the monk at her door. She then remember Fate's comment about odds and bets.

"So, Chin, who's keeping the books?" She asked in a better mood now that she had left all the sadness flow.

"Great Master?"

"Who's running the bets? Don't play coy with me, Chin, I institutionalized the betting system in Captain's Yin unit, if you remember."

Chin sounded shy.

"I am."

"Figures. By yourself?"

"Actually, Master Sokka is helping. He had turned out to be a natural for the betting running business."

"Yep, it sounds like Sokka. So what are the odds?"

"Great Master?"

"Come on, man! Lay it out for me. Don't feel bad that you're betting on my possible miserable futures because of this stupid Contest. If it was you instead of me, I would be betting like crazy."

That seemed to put Chin at ease.

"The short odds are two to one that you become Fire Lady instead of the Lady Mai. There is also a sub-bet two to one that she spears you with shurikens or senbons, different parts of the body pay different winnings, different knives too. You know how it is. Then there is the four to one bet that you become Earth Queen, with the sub-bet that you become a widow on your wedding night, with different winnings depending if the bear also dies or not." Toph was following all this assenting knowingly. You could say many things about firebender soldiers, but these guys really knew how to enjoy life and how to run an underground betting system. "Finally, there is a long odds bet that almost no one is backing up. That one pays fifteen to one."

"That's high. Is that the one where my stint as Fire Lady lasts five minutes because I nullify the wedding? "

"You cannot nullify your wedding to the Crown Prince, Great Master."

"What are you talking about? You said yourself that I could nullify weddings in the Fire Nation for seven copper pieces."

"If you are married to anyone else but to the heir to the throne or the Fire Lord himself. That wedding is blessed by the Fire Sages. That ceremony, those vows, cannot be undone."

"What? Why no one told me this? Does Zuko know this?"

"Of course he does, I told him myself."

"When? No one had said anything to me!"

"Well, yesterday. His waterbender sent me a message that they needed to talk to me, with the Agni Kai being today and all."

Toph picked up the grammatical construction immediately. His waterbender? When did that become common knowledge? However, if there was something that you could say about Chin is that the guy defined the concept of public opinion. If you wanted to know what people out there in the street were thinking or saying, if you wanted to run a survey or a voting poll, you could save yourself a lot of work and just talk to Chin.

"Do you mean that Katara knows this too?"

"Yes. They both came to talk to me."

"Oh, by earth, are those two imbeciles or what? They know this and they are going forward with this Agni Kai? What happens if he wins?"

Toph was livid. Loyalty and honor were one thing, suicidal, brainless self-sacrifice was another. Chin assented ominously.

"If he wins today, you will be Fire Lady forever. His highness never backs up if his honor is involved. They both said that they were doing this for you. Anything better than having you in a Ba Sing Se wooden cell while the Earth King figures out a way to make you love him, they said."

"Aarrgghh!!" Toph jumped in full warpath mode. "Chin, call the fireguys. There's going to be a battle. If I need to personally gut Kuei to stop this nonsense, I will."

Chin scratched his chin. This was not a play on words. Toph stopped.

"What? Are you moving or not?"

"There may be a plan already in motion Great Master."

"Really, designed by whom?"

"The Avatar. Master Sokka, the Kyoshi warriors and my unit are all busy with it right now."

"What's this? Why was I kept in the dark? I mean, I'm always in the dark, forget that. Why no one told me?"

"This is Plan B, Great Master. We cannot let anyone find out. Your future depends on it."

Toph was too angry to pay attention to Chin's last words. So everyone was going freelance now? She hated not knowing. Being treated like an invalid, delicate flower, not being able to help. For the first time she wished she was a Kyoshi just to smear her face with ugly war paint. She needed to act, right now. Do something to get back in control of the freaking circus show that her life had turned out to be. She started walking towards the door. She stopped there for a moment, her back to Chin, before turning her head slightly.

"That fifteen to one bet, the long odds, what's that one?"

"No one dies, no wrath of the Gods, you become neither Earth Queen nor Fire Lady and there is a happy ending." Toph hung her head. She then asked, afraid of the answer, but hopeful.

"Which one are you backing up?"

"The long odds one, Great Master."

She smiled and opened the door.

Aang was not in the corridor anymore. She needed to find him. She need to talk to him right now. She hesitated, wondering which way to go.

"Try his room," Chin said behind her. She jumped. The guy had like the gift of teleportation or something. "He usually meditates when he gets upset, or sad, or angry or confused. He meditates a lot."

"How on earth do you know that?"

"Well lately, the Avatar had been meditating often, and because I've been helping him with some … stuff, I just noticed it."

Toph wavered and she was about to start walking when something lighted in her brain.

"It was you," she asserted, turning. "With the instruction manuals! The tips, the knowledge of how to do things. It was you all the time!" She poked his chest with her finger.

"Don't get angry at me!" Chin said in defense. "He seemed so worried, and didn't seem to want to ask questions to any of his friends, so I may have helped a little. And anyway, you forbade me from giving him romance scrolls, the only thing left was advice!"

She stopped for a moment.

"It was very good advice," she accepted grumpily. "No wonder those Kyoshis keep coming after you."

"El Tuerto, Great Master. El Tuerto taught me everything I know, and now he's teaching the Avatar too. He calls him his Sifu Sexy."

Toph covered her mouth with her hand. All the insanity she had faced during the last two weeks did not prepare her for the realization that those very happy moments when Aang had her singing hallelujah were owed to a rancid, arrogant, ugly fowl. El Tuerto flapped his wings proudly. Chin, politely, tugged at her sleeve.

"To your right, and keep going three doors, and then your left. He'll be happy to see you, Great Master."

She thanked him and ran.

Toph barged into his room. Now she had purpose.

"Aang!" She called him by his name. Not cute nicknames, nothing. She felt him turning to her and bending the air jumping to where she was. He embraced her so tight that she couldn't breathe.

"I'm sorry, Toph," he said in her hair. "I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me." She tried to push him away, feebly, but he did not let go.

"I need you to win this one for me," she said, her face buried in his shoulder. He did not hear her.

"Please forgive me. I've been so stupid. I know now how stupid. Please tell me that you forgive me. That you're not leaving me."

"I'm not leaving you," she said, and then he grabbed her face and started kissing her feverishly, and she tasted tears in her mouth. She barely pulled away and grabbed his wrists to get him to stop.

"I'm not leaving you of my own free will. But I do need you to win this one for me," she repeated.

He took a step back.

"I thought you wanted me to lose," he said, stunned.

"Not anymore. You need to win this one. For me."

"But that means you become Queen Consort!"

"That's not the reason why I want you to win." She felt him crossing his arms.

"I'm not doing anything until I understand why would you like to marry Kuei now. I thought being Fire Lady was ten times better."

"Don't you go throwing a temper tantrum now. We don't have time for this."

"I'm tired of being treated like child!" He snapped back.

"You wouldn't be if you'd stop acting like one." Even she knew that that one must have hurt. "I don't, and I've never treated you like a child. So cut it."

"Then tell me your reasons. I can take them."

She thought about breaking confidences, about the story that was not hers to tell, but she also knew that things had gotten too far for everyone involved.

"Zuko and Katara," she said. He flinched. Really? How dense can he be? "They deserve to be happy. They have a chance, if Zuko loses."

"What exactly are you saying?" He seemed in control of his voice. Actually, a bit cold.

"That they are in love, they have been for a while now. They never told you to protect you, to make sure you were happy, yada-yada-yada. They tried to stay apart, believe me, they tried. But right now, the only thing that will keep those two away from each other is death. Neither you nor I would enjoy happiness if it means their misery. And believe me, it will. If you win this one, Zuko is free - well, there is Sunbeam back home, but that's almost fixed. I've been sending her messages. Anyway, with Zuko free, they have a chance."

She didn't hear anything from him. She couldn't feel his vibrations, she couldn't hear his heartbeat or his blood rushing wildly. The only thing coming from him was silence. Strange, calm silence.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" she asked, doubtful, wondering if she should get out of the way before the monk went into full Avatar state and destroyed the place.

"How long have you known this?" he asked instead. She couldn't pick up anything from the guy. That was scary. She stepped back. He moved now, like trying to stop her, but thinking the better of it because he didn't finish the gesture.

"Does it matter? The important thing is that we can make it right."

"You kept their secret. Were you protecting me too?"

"No. I was protecting them. It was not my story to tell. You told me yourself that telling secrets gives away pieces of those who trust us. I wouldn't tell your secrets. I couldn't tell theirs."

"But you're telling me now."

"Aaargh! What's with the analysis? Can't you just accept things for what they are? I'm telling you because I'm still protecting them by telling you. You don't need their protection anymore and I don't either. Which is what those two morons are trying to do. Don't let them!"

He didn't answer. Toph was still waiting for him to lose it any minute and even though she didn't want to push him over the edge, there was something that she needed to say. For the simple reason that she cared about him, a lot, and it was not fair for him not to know.

"There was nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. Someone else was already occupying all the space. She tried hard for it to be you, believe me, and he did, too. They tried to sacrifice so much for you, but they sort of marked each other, and then there was no space left for anyone else."

He seemed immersed in a different train of thought.

"I thought you didn't care about Katara," he said instead, thoughtful. "I couldn't put together in my heart and my mind how someone as noble and honest as you wouldn't care about hurting someone else this way. Especially, someone that you care about. But you weren't at fault. I was. You knew when coming into this, this meaning you and me, and I didn't. You're a better person than I am."

Why was he getting into self reflection and guilt trips now? He had a lifetime for that thing!

"That's not true," she dismissed him, wondering when did the burden shift from his girlfriend cheating on him to him cheating on his girlfriend. "I would annihilate the sandbenders if I could and you wouldn't."

"That's different. That's the greater good. I'm the Avatar, I'm supposed to do the greater good. But this, this is the small good. You're great at the day-to-day small good that makes life worth living. Anyone can be good at a grand scale, but it's hard to be good at the small scale."

"Aang, focus. I've no idea how we ended having this conversation, but I'm not good. You know it. I'm not sweet, motherly or perfect. I don't play coy, and I don't take crap from anyone. If I was good, neither Kuei nor the Fish would be obsessed with me."

He came closer, and now she understood that whatever was going on inside the tattoo on his forehead would not result on him going glowy on her or anyone. At least not right now.

"You're good. You're also sincere, loyal, decent and funny. You make me feel alive." He caressed her cheek. "I always knew that you were not made for 'maybe's and 'what if's. But I didn't understand until now what that means."

Well this was unexpected.

"Okay, I'm confused. Does this mean that you are winning this thing for me?"

"You won't be free," Aang said instead.

"It doesn't matter, really. I can always try to escape. Maybe not the vengeful Gods, but I'll think of something."

"You won't be able to escape the Gods."

She shrugged. She didn't want to talk about that.

"I'll deal with that when it comes. The way I see this is a mathematical exercise. Why make everyone unhappy when only one person would do? It's economically efficient."

His thoughts were someplace else, because he did not paid attention to her answer. He was paying attention to her. She could feel the intensity with which he was studying every gesture, every expression.

"What about us?" he asked in place of an answer.

"What?"

"What about us? I'm not promising anything until I know about us."

"What about it? Last night you implied that there was no 'us'. I mean, that there won't be any 'us' because I'm doomed one way or the other." She felt resentment resurfacing again, so she had to add. "You called me a tramp. So why are you talking in plural terms now?"

She heard him moving and realized in a moment that he was kneeling. He hugged her waist and buried his face on her stomach. She did not hug him back.

"I am so, so, so, sorry for everything I said last night. I'm deeply embarrassed. I was jealous and stupid. And I called you something I knew to be false. I give you my word that I will never insult you again. You see, I know you. You are a one man woman. And I know that's the case, because the day you decide otherwise you will tell me to my face first. That's just the way you are and I would not have it any other way." He then added in a tiny whisper, "I should have known that you were helping Suki. The make-up looked too good."

She made a frown.

"What do you mean?"

His face was still buried on her stomach, so his voice came mumbled.

"You're blind. You've no idea how to put make-up on." She felt him raising his head and looking at her. "You look better without it anyway. You don't need it."

She did not answer. She was kind of annoyed about the comment of her being bad at make-up.

"What about us, Toph?" he insisted. She shrugged, at loss for words. What about them? Were they even a possibility?

"Why are you with me, Toph? You're not the kind to do things like this on a whim." He stopped, and corrected, "Well, maybe you are. But not like this. Not as deep as this. You don't give yourself easily. And you haven't been holding anything back with me. What were you doing, Toph?"

"The same thing you were. Research."

"Is that what you call it now?"

"No, that's what you called it -" She stopped and then added, honestly and tiredly, "That's what we both called it." Toph shook her head, blinked a couple of times to chase the tears away, and then asked, again. "Are you winning this one for me?"

"Are you asking me as your friend?"

"And as the Avatar. It's your job to keep balance and peace. You winning will ensure both."

His voice was tinted with sadness when he said:

"That's the wrong answer, Toph."

She bit her lip and raised her chin.

"Then, I'm asking you as your lover, Aang."

He pulled away from her, stood up and she heard him cross his arms. She could feel the emotion coming from him and breaking down, again, any scrap of self protection she may had left.

"I … I'm not ... It's not like I … like we have many options, you know," she said finally, a bit irritated. It was easier when she was angry. Now she was only sad. "Listen, I'm willing to continue with the research as long as it doesn't mean losing my head. That means meeting in dark corners and stuff. The Dai Li would probably write long reports about me disappearing often. Anyway, Kuei likes to be manhandled, so I can insult him every day and make him happy enough that he will not try to put me in the stupid wooden cell. Let him try, anyway. He's capable of imprisoning my parents to force me do things, but whatever. Eventually, I will have to explain to Kuei why his little earthbenders fly, though, but that's okay. He knows this is coming, I warned him myself."

She heard a thud. Probably Aang's jaw dropping to the floor. She was impatient now.

"Well, Twinkle Toes, are you helping your friends and your favorite research subject or not?"

"What you said about the little earthbenders …"

"Like you are not planning to establish a harem as soon as I say festival? You will have your one thousand wives with whom to plan your festivals, and would come to visit me for research purposes every so often. You see, problem solved. Your race restored, Zuko and Katara sail into the sunset, and I will be so entertained teaching my little flying benders how to earthbend that life would go in a whisper. Are you helping or not?"

He closed the gap between them embracing her and kissing her. Intensely. So intense that when she reacted she was against a wall, her hands full of monk. Very eager monk.

"Are we starting with the flying earthbenders now?" she asked, "because really we don't have much time."

"I'll win this one for you," he said, "under one condition."

"Which is?"

"Only flyingbenders. You can only have flyingbenders."

"Don't be dense. I'm proposing adultery and scandal, not monogamy. You've no leverage to make any demands."

"If I win," and she wondered how could he speak so clearly considering where his mouth was, "only flyingbenders."

She decided to let that one go.

"Take it with Kuei," she shrugged while he kept kissing her. "He hired you. You're his problem, not mine."

He stopped and grabbed her hands, putting them on his face.

"You said that I don't know the difference between love and lust. I wish we were back in the Spirit World so you could see my face while I say this to you. But this is the best we can do right now. I love you. You rock my world. You do. And not only because you throw boulders at me for fun." Her fingers trembled while seeing his face with them. "You are my Sifu. You taught me how to earthbend and how to love. You made me a man. And I love you."

She felt her lip trembling but he stopped the trembling with his own lips.

"How can you love someone as flawed as me, I have no idea," he said on her mouth. She grasped that one, he was affirming that she loved him, and two, that one of the conclusions he was reaching was wrong.

"If you were perfect, I wouldn't be with you." She said. "Perfect people give me the creeps. There's usually something wrong with them."

"I try to be good all the time. But when I'm with you, I feel that I can behave badly and the world won't come to an end." She felt the prick of his intense stare on her face. "The monks used to say that you don't always get what you want, but that if you're really lucky, you get what you need."

Toph threw her arms around his neck. This time she didn't had to tell him how much she loved him in her head. This time she told him aloud.

The monks last line of wisdom: The Rolling Stones. It is a well known fact in certain circles, that they are airbenders from the Northern Air Temple.