XXIX. Final Task, Agni Kai
They were walking, holding hands, having another interesting conversation.
"Well, technically I don't need you to win anything for me. I can just accept Kuei and call the entire Agni Kai off."
"No, you won't."
"Why not? I don't need your permission to accept my royal suitor."
"Because then you would be giving up without a fight. That's not you."
"I'm confused. I'm not fighting in the Agni Kai, and regardless who wins, the results are bad. Let's shortcut the entire thing."
"No."
"Why?"
"Trust me."
"It's this a 'lets get even with Zuko' thing? If what you want is to slap Zuko around a bit, I completely get it. I would also be into kicking his butt if I were you."
"I don't believe in retaliation."
"So you say."
He stopped.
"We are almost here. Don't accept Kuei yet. You can always accept him if I don't win the Agni Kai. He's the challenger and you can convince Zuko to withdraw his proposal."
"I know there's a Plan B that you're not telling me about."
"So? It's this entire 'I'm accepting Kuei' thing your attempt at blackmailing me into telling you?"
"Maybe."
"I'm not telling you anything. Live with it."
Toph shrugged. The powerful boyfriend (albeit clandestine), that was cool. The stubborn boyfriend part, that was not that cool.
"Don't think for a minute that just because I'm emotionally vulnerable right now with facing my doom and all, that you're completely forgiven for last night." She said in retaliation.
Aang kissed her openly.
"I know."
She still hesitated. She wanted to say something else, anything, before having to go into that hall and face reality. An extra moment, lingering, to hold onto her previous life.
"Every time I ask you to do something for me, you do exactly the contrary. I asked you to lose the first task, you won. I asked you to do the cheese poem, you did a good poem. I asked you to lose the day of the Ebi, you won," she stopped. "Maybe I should grant you that you had no choice with the last one, but still. Don't keep your track record. You need to win today." A pause. "Please."
He caressed her cheek before leaning his forehead against hers.
"You're nervous. You're picking up fights with me because you're nervous. Don't be. We are on this together. We both have the same amount at stake."
"Same amount of what?"
"Heartache."
He kissed her again before he started walking towards the hall, still holding her hand. Toph removed it. He didn't seem surprised at the gesture, just grabbed her hand again. She raised an eyebrow. What happened with keeping up appearances?
"Regardless of Zuko and Katara, there may be a conflict of interests here," she told him. Aang ignored her, and crossed the entrance still holding her hand. She heard people around them, the voices of Hakoda and Iroh, and then rush of feet and someone who hugged her tight. Katara. Toph hugged her back.
"I need to talk to you," they both said at the same time. Aang intervened.
"Good morning Katara," he said placidly, hugging the waterbender as well. Toph was in shock. All her years hanging out with this guy and he was redefining every concept out there for her. Including the word modernity. "I'm going to talk to Chief Hakoda and the other Elders. You two catch up." He kissed Toph's hand and she heard him walking away.
Katara took her other hand and practically dragged her away to a corner to talk in private.
"Katara," Toph started first, fast, needing to tell her the truth before Katara found out from someone else. "I know about the sacred vows of the Fire Sages. I'm not bringing you guys down with me. I just talked to Aang and I'm sorry about betraying your confidence, but I told him about you and Zuko. He knows. I asked him to win the Agni Kai for me. I'm sorry, but it's for the best."
"Toph, Aang knows about Zuko and me," Katara told her, her voice calm.
"What? Since when?"
"Last night. He broke up with me last night."
"What are you talking about?"
"He came over to my room. Late. He was really upset. And dumped me. He said that we were doing each other a disservice. That I needed him to need me, and that until recently he thought that he needed me to cuddle him." Toph was speechless. What was it with the mystery monk?
"He didn't say anything this morning! There must be more to that!"
"There is. Yesterday, Zuko had decided anyway that doing the right thing meant telling Aang the truth, for good or worse. When Aang came to my room, Zuko was there. Everything came out in the open."
"Wait. Was he angry?"
"Aang? I honestly don't know if that the word I should use. I mean, he wasn't happy. He was overwhelmed and very upset. And yes, there was fury, but it had a different overtone to it. I can't really explain it. But after the first shock wore off, and after ugly things were said, he seemed relieved. We all were. There's something to say for honesty."
Toph shook her head. Something was not making sense.
"Wait, he said that he saw you and that you were crying and that he promised you to take you away."
"That was earlier. We had just found out about the Fire Sages and that technically, Zuko wouldn't be able to dissolve any marriage he gets into. And then Aang showed up in my room and I was alone, crying, and he tried to make me feel better. I was really sad, you see: it meant either you or us. And we can't do something like this to you." Katara stopped and Toph felt her studying her closely. "You guys are together, aren't you?"
Toph shrugged.
"Zuko kept telling me that you were. Something about knowing you too well, but I couldn't believe it. I mean … Aang? He's a pacifist vegetarian monk who flies. I cannot think of someone less like you in the entire world."
"I make him laugh," Toph said simply. "And he makes me tingle. We both have 'Hidden Depths'." She stopped and then added, "Now it makes sense why he was so calm this morning. I thought that he was in shock, but he already knew about you two."
She heard Katara making a small sound.
"It was horrible but liberating at the same time to tell you the truth. He didn't mention you, though. After the initial surprise and rage wore off, he just kept banging his head against his staff and repeating again and again that he was stupid. And then he wanted to talk about today and the Agni Kai."
Toph raised a hand to interrupt her.
"Yeah, about that. I don't want Zuko to win this Agni Kai. We should call the entire thing off. I told Aang that I can accept Kuei and stop the nonsense, but he doesn't want me to. I'm telling you so you know, I'm not marrying you two. For real. Even if Zuko wins. I'd rather die. Better one casualty than many. It's economically efficient," she repeated, more to herself than to the world.
"Well, Zuko and Aang are fighting this for real. I mean, Aang was adamant. He told Zuko that they both need to do a reasonable effort on this Agni Kai. Aang made Zuko promise him. He gave his word."
"I'm getting really fed up with the mystery here. Either someone tells me what's going on or I'm accepting Kuei right now …"
"You're not." Aang's voice next to her was calm but final. He grabbed her hand again. "Come, this is about to start and you need to sit next to Chief Hakoda. Katara will keep you company and tell you anything that you may not be able to see."
Before she could protest anymore or throw a tantrum, he walked her resolutely where the Elders were. She heard Iroh coming closer to give her a hug.
"My friend!" He whispered in her ear, "What's with the hand holding with the Avatar?"
"I can't see in the snow," she answered. It was the truth. Not the applicable one to the question, but a truth nonetheless.
"I don't remember him helping you to see before," Iroh insisted. She pushed him slightly to shut him up. She heard him chuckle, but he also squeezed her arm a little to offer as much support as to express his concern. Aang guided her somewhere to sit down, and she felt Katara sitting down next to her. Before walking away Aang put something in her hands. His staff.
"Keep this for me, okay?" he requested, and she read something hidden in his voice. A plea. His staff was an agreement between them, a token. She smiled.
"I will," Toph said, and Aang squeezed her hand before walking away.
She felt Hakoda on her other side, who patted her hand before silence fell on the Hall. She then heard Bato's clear baritone:
"Chief Hakoda of the Now Unified Southern Water Tribes opens the Eleventh Session of the General Assembly of the First Official Peace Summit since the End of the One Hundred Year Old War Started by the Fire Nation. The First Order of Things is the Announcement of the Fourth Task of the Contest of the Frosts, also known as the Bonus Task. Being the Third Task declared won by Suitor Kuei, 52nd Earth King, represented by his Champion, Avatar Aang The Last Airbender, with extra points for saving everyone's lives from The Ebi, and being the Second Task won by Fire Prince Zuko, Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, and being that both suitors reached a draw on the First Task; a Bonus-Final Task aimed at breaking the draw between the Suitors is required. Master Firebender Jeong-Jeong retired from the contest after losing the Third Task."
Chief Hakoda next to her stood up and addressed the hall.
"The Fourth Task is a Duel. Taking into consideration the cultural heritage of His Highness Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, the chosen form of the duel is an Agni Kai. For those of you non versant on Fire Nation customs, Agni Kai is the name for fire duels, and any firebender, male or female, may participate. It is possible for the opponents to fight to the death and the outcome affects the honor of both duelists. It's also considered a source of entertainment for spectators in the Fire Nation. That said, these are the rules of this Agni Kai: First, its only objective is to break the draw on the Contest of the Frosts and whomever wins the Agni Kai wins the maiden. Second, the honor of neither the Crown Prince, nor the Avatar's is at stake here. Losing this Agni Kai does not mean, I repeat, please scribes, attorneys and public in general, write this down clearly, does not mean losing honor. Third, this fight is not to the death. The goal in Agni Kai duels is to knock an opponent off-balance, and incapacitate, sometimes fatally, with a final blow. The favored finishing move seems to be a direct fire blast to the face. In this case, and in this duel, there won't be fatal finishing blows or balls of fire to the eyes. In this case, knocking the opponent out of balance twice ends the duel. Also, Avatar Aang is master of all elements, but he would only be able to use firebending in this duel. If he uses any other kind of bending he forfeits and Prince Zuko wins by default. Finally, as this is not the Fire Nation, we need to move outside for the Agni Kai to take place, because doing it indoors may cause the ceiling to collapse."
Polite applause followed Hakoda's words and Toph felt Katara's hand on her arm. Someone covered her with a thick fur and she found herself walking to the outside, the chill breeze on her face, marking her own steps with T.T.'s staff. She couldn't see in the snow, but she had the impression they were walking towards the shore, because she could smell the sea in the breeze and she could hear the crashing of the waves. Katara guided her to a seat, and when she touched it, she realized it was the metal sleigh Sokka had built for her.
"You'll be able to see sitting on this," Katara told her in a low voice. "I may need to run in case any of them get hurt."
"I still think this is an exercise in futility, but I do appreciate the entertainment value of these two kicking each other's butts for real. Finally, I mean." Toph accommodated herself in the sleigh, wrapped the furs tight around her and put the staff on her knees. "Sparky totally deserves some slapping for the years of anguish he put T.T. through and for stealing his woman. T.T. totally deserves some slapping for being so dense and immature."
Katara sat next to her in the sleigh.
"I agree. Maybe this will help them get some stuff out of their systems and we all can continue with our lives, being good friends."
Toph grabbed her hand.
"We are good friends. Only good friendships can survive the assaults to honesty and morality of the last couple of weeks. I mean, finding happiness among all the lies, cheating, and deceit? This must be good happiness."
"Hardcore."
"Totally hardcore."
She heard someone coming closer and coughing politely.
"Great Master," Kuei said with his deceivingly naive voice. "A word." From the height of her sleigh, covered in furs, Toph thought that she may look regal, so she made a regal gesture with her hand. She may as well start practicing now.
"Speak," she ordered. Kuei obeyed immediately.
"Great Master, I want to apologize if my actions made you unhappy and for any other unpleasantness you may had to go through during these days. When I saw that lobster trying to eat you yesterday, I felt ashamed and promised myself that I would spend the rest of my life making it up to you."
Regal Toph made another royal gesture, this time a charitable one.
"Call this off, and you are forgiven," she said in a majestic voice.
"But we're so close at making it, you and me! I can't call this off, I would lose you."
Regal Toph gave way to Slumlady.
"Bugger off your miserable idiot, out of my way before I crush you like a worm."
Katara intervened.
"Earth King, I beseech you. This is not the right moment. Let's wait after the Agni Kai."
Kuei left, Toph could see him, his vibrations, walking in the snow. His footsteps were heavy ones.
"He was looking at you with Aang before. And he was looking at the staff just now." Katara said. "A weird expression on his face."
"Last thing I need, a jealous stalking fiancé. That Twinkles! He sucks at timing. He decides today that I'm not going to be his secret anymore." Toph thought for a second. "Probably my fault, I told him last night that he was acting like my parents, hiding me. I should have known that such a comment will be haunting him for the next several years." She sighed. "Honestly, I think that it was me who was hiding him, at least at the beginning, but now is a toss up."
Katara grabbed her hand again.
"It's going to be hard to remember who knows which secrets and who doesn't." Her voice changed. "Wait, it's starting. Zuko and Aang just came into the arena. Well, it's an ice arena, not a sand one, but you get my drift."
Toph heard the screams and sighs of the fangirls in the audience.
"Are they without shirts?"
"No, this is the South Pole. This is a fully dressed Agni Kai."
"Bummer."
"Aang and Zuko are now on opposite sides of the arena, kneeling, facing away from each other. They have some sort of brown cloth around their necks."
Toph heard Hakoda's voice:
"Begin!"
"They're assuming a fighting stance now, the cloths fall to the ground. Wow, Aang is attacking first, a wave of fire shooting from his fist!"
Toph could see some of what Katara was narrating. Vibrations on the snow were not like vibrations on earth, where she could see everything, face expressions included. Seeing through the metal and the ice was like seeing through a sheer cloth, you could make up the big movements, but the devil was in the details. She could see Zuko jumping back to avoid the wave of fire, and the sure movement of his hands creating an arc of fire and going down to the ground, palms together and pointed like an arrow, the tips of the fingers trailing an attack of fire on the ice. Aang received the surge of fire deflecting it with his arms while jumping back, almost losing his balance. Toph understood that Aang was facing a serious disadvantage. He was by nature an airbender, and having to be agile without airbending had to be particularly hard because it meant going against his nature. She couldn't imagine going against her own nature in any way, particularly if her bending was involved, so seeing Aang jumping like a normal person and not like an airbender was disturbing. Zuko noticed the hesitation, and started attacking, throwing blast after blast, while Aang was retreating trying not to lose ground. In a surprise gesture, Zuko suddenly put both fists together and sent a powerful discharge against Aang, aimed at his chest, that the airbender barely deflected, losing footing and falling on his back.
"Hey!!" Toph yelled from her sleigh, jumping to her feet. "Watch it, Sparky! NO BURNING!" Katara tugged at her dress, to get her to sit. "Don't shush me Sugar Queen, your fireguy over there is attacking my airguy! THAT'S NASTY!!"
"Toph, that's the entire purpose of the duel, you silly! SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!"
Zuko pressed the advantage of Aang on the ground, and jumped like the cat he was almost on top of the airbender, when Aang somersaulted on his hands, scissoring his legs and sending a wave of fire against Zuko's ankles, who lost balance and fell on the ground, on his back.
"That's it T.T.! PAY HIM BACK!" Katara next to her groaned.
"You're hopeless!" she said to Toph, and grabbing the earthbender's hand put something round on it. "Three copper pieces that my fireguy beats you airguy!"
"You're on Sugarcakes! Let's make this interesting, if my airguy beats your fireguy I choose both your wedding present and my bridesmaid's dress!"
"And if my fireguy wins, you get to be my slave for one whole day!"
"You're such a copycat! I thought of that one first!"
Zuko had jumped back on his feet as fast as Aang had, and they were now circling each other, their hands poised on attack/defense positions. She couldn't see the expressions on their faces, but Katara next to her made a little sound.
"Why are they smirking?" She asked aloud to herself. Rapidly, Zuko attacked first, rotating on himself, sending flare after flare with his feet, in a movement that got Katara breathing shallow. "Those are Azula's attack movements!" she said in horror and appreciation at the same time. Aang, like the born airbender he was, was moving in mirror movements to those of Zuko deflecting flare after flare, but holding off his attack. Among the multiple quiet conversations Toph and Aang had on each other arms sheltered by the night, one had been focused on the fact that airbending lacked a finishing blow. Aang loathed the idea of developing one, so Toph suggested to borrow from the other three. Aang had concluded that the only finishing blow he was interested in was one that incapacitated his opponent without harming him or her. And of course without having to resort to such drastic measures as energy bending. Toph had said that whatever the final result, you cannot have a finishing blow without attacking. It would seem that she was right, because deflecting was getting Aang nowhere in this duel. And regardless of the fact that she didn't want any of them to win, she didn't want Twinkles, her Twinkles, to lose. She could feel both him and Zuko panting, but no one was giving in. Unexpectedly, Katara next to her said:
"Momo? Why is Momo flying towards here?" For a second the lemur must have distracted the duelists, because both of them hesitated for a second, before Aang jumped like a cat too, making a circular movement with his hands so powerful that Zuko barely had the chance to block it from his chest, before being thrown several feet away and landing forcefully on his back. Toph heard the thud his head made against the ice and heard Katara's gasp and mumble a curse before the waterbender jumped from her seat and ran on the snow to check on the firebender.
Toph heard Chief Hakoda's raising voice among the cheers and the boos, fangirls with different affiliations resorting to blows to solve the discrepancies.
"This match is now over!" Hakoda bellowed. "And the winner is …"
He couldn't finish the phrase, drowned by the voice of his own son coming from above.
"DAD!" Sokka yelled, his voice circling, carried by the wind. "I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR THE EARTH KING, DAD!!"
Toph realized that Sokka must be on Appa, and she felt the pitter-patter of feet, big and small, running to surround the ice arena. Toph apprehended that these were Kyoshis and fire soldiers, in full battle regalia, assuming fighting positions around the arena. She felt Appa landing in the middle of the ice, and heard Sokka unsheathing his sword. Someone jumped from Appa into the ice and ran to where she was. Suki, those were Suki's steps. The warrior jumped on the sleigh next to her.
"Be ready, Toph!" her friend said. "Here it comes!"
"Kuei!" Sokka yelled. "Look what we have here!"
"NOOO!" Toph heard Kuei's cry, full of horror and despair. "BOSCO, NOOO!!"
"Fan-Girl, what's going on?" Toph couldn't see or hear the bear, so she assumed the animal was on top of Appa.
"We kidnapped Bosco! We took advantage that everyone was distracted by the Agni Kai and that the bear likes Ty Lee! It followed her and then we tied it up and gagged it. Kuei is in distress because Bosco is covered in ropes and gagged with a piece of cloth on its mouth!"
"AWESOME, FAN-GIRL!" Toph clapped, delighted. Sorry for Bosco, but Kuei deserved it.
"Kuei!" Sokka yelled again. "Bosco has a message for you: 'Back down from the challenge or I get it!'"
Suki whispered in her ear.
"Sokka just put his sword against Bosco's neck!"
She heard Kuei's voice, for once authoritative and almost stately.
"NO! That's not right! AVATAR! Make them stop this right now!"
Aang's voice was powerful and unruffled.
"No."
"What do you mean 'No'? You are the Avatar, you don't uphold with cruelty to animals!"
"I don't uphold with cruelty to women either." Swiftly, Aang's voice was a couple of octaves deeper and stronger. Ultimate-sounding, like a closing statement or a declaration of war. He sounded like an Avatar. "Back down the challenge, Earth King, or I will personally make sure that you don't ever see Bosco again."
"I'm the Earth King, I cannot be treated like this!"
Lu Shi's voice broke the exchange.
"The Earth King personally considers this to be a breach of the …"
"SILENCE!" Aang's words were final, and Toph chose that moment to jump on her seat and yell:
"Here, Twinkles, take this!" She was about to throw him his staff, when Suki took it from her hands and threw it for her.
"You're blind," the warrior reminded her casually. "You could have killed someone with that thing."
Aang, with his staff now in hand, stomped it on the ice. She could feel the raw power emanating from him. A gust of wind hit her in the face, and she could feel people turning and covering their faces. She felt his weight leaving the ground and heard Sokka's voice yelling above the whirlwind.
"He's going glowy on you, Kuei, you are SO busted!"
Kuei tried to protest, but Aang's voice, mixed with thousand other voices, male and female, and all of them equally forbidding, interrupted him:
"Kuei, 52nd Earth King, I hereby declare our covenant fulfilled! I did the tasks and kept the Avatar's honor, Kyoshi's pledge is satisfied. But hear me well: you chose to squander a powerful promise on a Contest of Misery, with regret as its only outcome. As such, I promise you that neither you, nor anyone else in your family, will again challenge the Avatar's authority or will try to manipulate ancient covenants in your favor. If you retract the challenge and relinquish the maiden, in exchange, I will show mercy to your bear."
Kuei was not budging that easily.
"NO. YOU WON! THAT MEANS I WIN! I'M NOT BACKING DOWN!"
"KUEI!" The full force of the Avatar was like an explosion that send people flying across the snow. Toph heard cracks in the ice, going all the way to the shore, and the crashing of the waves became rowdy, like when Katara was in that time of the month. She couldn't see, but she could feel the fear, the awe and the voices of people gasping and whispering:
"The bear is flying! He's making the bear twirl around!"
His multiple-layered voice was potent.
"CHOOSE! The Bear or the Maiden?"
Suki gasped.
"He just removed the bear's gag with a single movement of his hand! Wow, look at those tattoos glowing, he looks so… sexy?" Suki covered her own mouth, in utter shock. "Sexy and Aang in the same sentence? What's happening to the order of things in the universe?"
Toph heard the bear making noises, almost like pleading whimpers, trying to call his master for help and even she, who was a formidable warrior, felt anguish in her heart at hearing the bear stuttering with fear.
Kuei whined, the sight of his bear twirling in the air too much to behold, and suddenly yelled back:
"I BACK DOWN! I back down the challenge! BOSCO! GIVE ME MY BOSCO!!"
Suddenly the wind, the roars, and the cracks stopped. The gale force winds retreated as fast as they had appeared. She heard a thud and realized that it was the bear, deposited next to Kuei, who jumped at the bear's neck and started crying and kissing the animal, telling him how sorry he was. She also heard the ice mending, like magic. She could see the fluid movements of Aang's body mending the ice, and she felt grateful for the memory of his face, flushed with emotion, in the Spirit World. She then heard his normal voice, leveled and clear, across the snow.
"I claim Great Master Bei Fong as mine."
Rustle of feet, voices, and Suki gasped next to her. She then heard Kuei, sounding offended now.
"You cannot do that! You are my champion! You don't get to steal the prize of the contest you were contracted to win!"
"I can if you withdraw your suit first, which you did. You were never declared the winner, and I won the tasks. So I'm declaring myself officially a suitor. You've got your bear, Earth King, you should be thankful that not harm came to it." Toph knew him well, he was totally making that one up. Bosco's life was never in danger from the Avatar, but people around him didn't know that. She realized that he was doing exactly what they discussed: you don't have to exercise violence to inspire fear. "Anyway, there are no rules in this Contest. Except this one: I win the contest, I win the maiden. I lay my claim on her."
"Pst, Toph," Suki whispered in her ear. "The monk is talking like you're lost chattel. Why are you smiling? I thought you hated that."
"Don't you get it? Like romance depends on the idiot, the claim depends on the claimant!" She started jumping on her seat, waiving her hand happily. "Here, here T.T., claim me, claim me!"
Chief Hakoda tried to salvage the dignity of the situation.
"The Avatar is right. The King withdrew his claim before a winner was declared, thus if the Avatar is proposing his name forward, I'm happy to declare him the winner of the Contest. Avatar, the Maiden belongs to you."
She could hear people whispering around her-
"Isn't the Avatar engaged to marry Chief Hakoda's daughter?"
"Yeah, I spent, like, 20 copper pieces in the wedding gift!"
"By the Spirits, isn't the blind girl her best friend or something? What a floozy!"
Some fan girls were screaming in despair-
"She's stealing the Avatar! She's, like, claiming him as hers!" Toph was deeply offended at that last comment.
No one seemed to notice that the jilted bride was the same wanton Water Tribe wench that was all over the Crown Prince of the firebenders. Everybody was too busy feeling offended on her behalf, that they just assumed that the woman eating the prince's face was a lucky fangirl taking advantage of the situation.
"That can't be!" Lu Shi said from somewhere close to Hakoda. "There was a covenant, the Earth King has legal resources and he demands an appeal!"
She heard Chief Hakoda with a voice as sharp as a sword.
"These are the Southern Water Tribes, Counselor. We're an evolved society, therefore we don't do attorneys. Our laws are simple: My word is final and there are no appeals. So, if I say that the Contest is won and the Maiden belongs to the Avatar, that's absolute. The King's covenant with the Avatar is a separate matter and has no bearing on the results of the Contest." Hakoda clapped once. "The Contest of the Frosts is over. Avatar, go get your maiden before anything else happens." Toph heard Hakoda's lowering his voice. "Ah, by the way, I think I speak for the family when I declare you officially free of any negotiation, engagement or commitment to my daughter. Yep, look at her. Please accept my apologies in the name of the family, you're completely free, Avatar."
Aang airbended himself to where Toph was and opened his arms to her, calling her. She jumped from the sleigh into his arms to hug him back. He mumbled in her ear, while caressing her hair:
"I think Fate loaded the dice because in a fleeting minute you exploded inside me."
She moved a bit, to whisper back.
"I'm irresistible. What else did you expect would happen when you decided to play the kissing ninja with me? It's totally your fault."
She felt his smile against her head.
"It totally is."
Suki, next to them, standing on the sleigh was looking at the scene like they had grown tentacles.
"Whaa? Since when?"
Toph could hear Sokka faintly on the back.
"Katara!! Why are you taking advantage of Zuko like that? Can't you see the guy is injured? And what's with the kissing? Aren't you two like dating other people?"
But then Toph heard something else. The ice was cracking again. And this was not Aang's cracking, this was 'bad-news' cracking, 'Gods-going-apocalyptical' cracking. Aang was fast. Before she had a chance to say anything, he bended her to where Appa was and deposited her on top of the flying bison. But instead of staying with her, he went back to the snow. Appa stayed on the ground, moving around on its six legs, avoiding the fissures on the ice. Toph heard the voices of Suki, Yin and Sokka yelling orders to Kyoshis, fire soldiers, and water warriors about protecting civilians and moving people away from the shore and towards the inner village. She then saw them. It was not a feeling, it was seeing. She could discern, not in the permanent darkness or her eyes, but among her senses, the celestial figures of Yue and Agni, doing something. Bending. Bending back whatever La was unbending, probably, because Yue looked distressed. Agni's handsome face was concentrating on something that had nothing to do with fire. Toph instinctively knew that it had to do with controlling La's power. She heard Zuko's voice, "Katara, Toph!" Someone jumped on Appa's saddle next to her.
"Can you see them?"' Katara asked. Toph nodded. "They seem to be protecting us!" The waterbender added. Toph grabbed her arm. She knew that Katara had been sent to help protect her, and even though her pride may hurt a little, Toph's mom raised no fool (well, the nannies). When dealing with angry gods on ice, a skilled waterbender may come handy.
"What's Aang doing?" Toph asked.
"I'm not sure, he's making hand signals to someone! Wait, I see it now. It's Chin, he's running in this direction carrying scrolls, paintbrushes and ink!"
Toph heard Zuko's voice next to Sokka, getting people to run to safety. She then remembered the end of the Agni Kai.
"How's Zuko injury?"
"He's fine. Not even a bump. He likes to play the victim when I'm around, to make sure I heal him and kiss his boo-boos away. Total kid. Wait, Aang is doing something. He's standing in the middle of the ice and raising his staff. He's calling for something."
"LA!" Toph heard Aang's voice, as clear as water. "LA, I CALL ON YOU!"
Toph felt it. The snow and the ice started to raise, in a whirlwind and then she saw it, the same way she could see the other two gods. She could discern the whirlwind turning into a Fish made of snow and ice, that was translucent and glowed. It hovered over the ice arena, as big as the Ebi, facing the small mortals.
"Avatar," it said with its watery voice. "You're playing tricks on me. The Maiden was not supposed to be yours."
"Honorable La," Aang answered, and Toph could seem him in her mind's eye, leaning casually on his staff. "It was not a trick. The Earth King withdrew the challenge. There's nothing against me stepping on his place."
"You forced him to withdraw."
"Are you accusing me of unclean hands, Honorable La?"
"I am, Avatar. I don't take kindly to pretensions of cleverness."
"If that's the case, then, can I assume that unclean hands is your reason for breaking the agreement with the Tribes and threatening their destruction even though everything was done properly? I mean, there was a Contest, and there was a winner. The only variable that differs is that the maiden will not be miserable with me. I will even dare to say that she, we, will be very happy."
"You are smart, Avatar. You know that shrewdness does not go well with the immortals." Toph saw the Fish starting to gather his powers, moving its fins, and saw that both Yue and Agni had almost painful expressions on their faces, trying to control it. Katara next to her whispered.
"The Fish is going glowy on Aang, Toph! I think it's going to blow up!"
Toph had a sudden epiphany. It had to do with Tlatli and Fate's busybody natures, yes, but also with the fact that deep down she was an optimist and knew that Gods, like mortals, liked to save face.
Toph jumped on her feet and screamed at the top of her lungs.
"DRAGON KINGS, GODDESS FORTUNA, IMMORTALS! I CALL ON YOU TO JUDGE!"
Where that came from, she had no idea. Seriously. It just felt like the right thing to say at the moment, with a massive cantankerous Fish about to go barbaric on her hunky and adorable monk.
"Toph, can you see them?" Katara panted next to her. "They are appearing, one by one, sitting in the middle of the sky!"
Toph moved her head, and then she saw them and felt them at the same time. The gods were sitting on a semicircle in the air, the Dragons in the middle, flanked by Fate, Tlatli, Baby Love, the Jackal, Dionny, even the God of Small and Annoying Things was sitting on the far left, his nose pinched, perpetually aggravated.
"Mortals." Toph heard Long Dragon's elegant voice. "We have been called to judge. What are we judging?"
Before Toph could scream 'The Fish's lousy attitude' Katara was fast putting her hand over her mouth and effectively shutting her up. Aang's voice carried across to the immortals. He still kept the non-threatening, almost amused tone he used before with the Fish.
"Immortals." (Katara next to her explained 'He's bowing.') "The Honorable Immortal La and myself seem to have a different take on a serious problem."
"Speak, Avatar. We promise you fairness in any ruling," Long Dragon said. Toph could see Black Dragon looking at all the mortals with concentrated eyes and chewing on something forcefully.
"You see, the Honorable La says that I'm not entitled to obtain the prize of a Contest that I won fair and square. The prize is my Maiden, that very pretty lady dressed in green you see over there, being held down by one of our mutual friends. The Honorable La says that I acted unethically because I convinced the Earth King to step down so I could step on his place. Now, as it has been explained to me, there is a principle that says that 'those seeking equity must do equity' or to put it in other terms, 'equity must come with clean hands'. I say to you that the Honorable La has unclean hands too. He cannot expect equity from me when he does not give any."
The Gods seemed interested. The Yellow Dragon leaned his body towards the mortals.
"So, it's your contention, Avatar, that La cannot invalidate your actions because he acted unethically first?"
"I do."
"Do you have proof of this?" the God of Small Things asked.
"No. I have a hunch."
"We cannot work on hunches, Avatar," Long Dragon said a bit dejected.
"Let's ask La," Aang said. "Honorable La, tell us. How come I got a hint in the Cave of Sorrows when no one else did? How come my friends could not bend when The Ebi went after us? These are the most powerful benders in the world. I should know, each of them was my teacher at some point. If they could not bend, it means foul play. Somehow you made sure that I won, and that breaks the covenant first."
Fate was chewing on something, furiously.
"Is that true, La?" she said, irritated. "Are you such a lousy player that you need to cheat?"
The Fish hovered, really uncomfortable under his mother's stern gaze. That such small-shaped Goddess, delicately built like a porcelain doll, could install the fear of the Gods into such unsightly big Fish was something to behold.
"Mother, you promised you would not meddle in my business," La said, keeping a forbidding tone.
"I promised you that under the presumption that you would play fair, son. Do I need to oversee your play-dates like when you were a child? Now, cut it with the whining and tell the truth: Did you, by any chance, tried to tip the balance of the Contest in the favor of any of the suitors?"
La did not answer. Fate groaned.
"I can't believe this!" she mumbled, chewing energetically. Tlatli produced something, and made a gesture towards Agni. 'Here, Agni, quickly, light this!' The fire God sent a flare that lit the thing and Tlatli, fast, shoved it in Fate's mouth. The irate Goddess suddenly stopped chewing, her eyes glazing. She took a long, calming puff, and then recovered her composure somewhat. "Listen, La," she said, inhaling feverishly. "I'm not going to get upset. Mommy Dearest promises, okay? Now, again, did you cheat?"
La crossed its fins in front of its chest, or at least tried to.
"Yes, Mommy Dearest, I did," the Fish said defiantly.
Fate had to be restrained by several Dragons, a sexy Goddess and a baby.
"You are an embarrassment on the family divinity business!!" she got to yell before Tlatli covered her mouth with both her hands.
"Okay, okay!" Long Sane Dragon intervened, raising his hands. "Avatar, you may have a point. If La acted with unclean hands first, equity claims that he cannot hold against you that you didn't acted by the book. The ruling is simple, the Avatar can keep the Prized Maiden as his and La cannot take revenge upon anyone." Long Dragon bowed, a deep bow. "I wish you happiness, Avatar. No, actually, I ensure you happiness. Your Maiden and You are suited to each other in all aspects. We know, we have been watching you."
Aang voice carried like he was bowing deeply too.
"There's something else, oh venerable Dragons," he said, still nonchalant.
The Dragons seemed curious.
"Yes, Avatar?"
"The Covenant between La and the Water Tribes. The Covenant that protects the Tribes from the Ebi, that forces the Tribes to hold this Contest once it is invoked and that gives shelter to La's and Yue's mortal forms at the North Pole Oasis."
"What happens with that Covenant, Avatar?"
"That Covenant is broken, Honorable Dragon. It needs to be renegotiated."
Aang's word brought an angry response from the already irate Fish.
"You cannot meddle on my business with my Tribes, Avatar!" it threatened.
Katara made a low whistle in Toph's ear. "Aang is standing tall now, Toph, to his full height. He looks very sure of himself. Almost like … Zuko. Oh, wow, Kuku has been teaching a lot of things to Aang!"
"It has been explained to me, Honorable La, that once you choose to interfere with the Contest, you did something called 'Tortious Interference'."
"What are you talking about, Avatar?" the God bellowed.
"I am not versant on contractual laws, Honorable La, but here is someone that can explain this to you."
Toph grabbed Katara's hand. 'Poor Chin!' she whispered in the waterbender's ear, afraid for the health and sake of the happy-go-lucky Fire Nation soldier.
"Honorable Lu Shi, Esquire!" Aang called and Toph could have kissed him senseless right there. Highlighting unwelcoming legal advice in front of the Gods was the best comeuppance any attorney could get. "Please explain to the Honorable God La what do I mean by tortious interference."
She heard Lu Shi sputtering and stuttering like a faulty machine trying to start. Then, his professionalism took the better of him. And his arrogance, Lu Shi's greatest flaw.
"What the Avatar means, oh great God, is that when you intentionally damaged the Tribes' contractual business relationship with you, I mean, when the ability of one party to perform his obligations under the contract (that means the Water Tribes) was disrupted by the tortfeasor (that means you), thereby preventing the party (i.e. the Tribes) from receiving the performance promised, there has been a 'trespass on the case'."
La was as lost as everyone else in the audience, Gods included. Give it to an attorney to confuse even the divine immortals.
"Uh?" La said, eloquently.
"In conclusion, Honorable God, you interfered on purpose with the contract to the detriment of the Tribes, as it caused pain and suffering to those who did not know what was going on, and therefore you broke the covenant, which can be deemed terminated and the Tribes can claim damages."
Toph heard the ice cracking, the Fish screaming and gods rushing to restraint the Fish.
"I curse you and your children for the next ten generations!" La screamed at the attorney. Thankfully, not at the happy Avatar standing on one side.
Agni and Yue were holding the angry God down, stopping him from jumping at the attorney's neck.
"Damages? What do you mean by damages?" La was blaring.
Toph heard people climbing on Appa. Sokka, Suki, Zuko, Ty Lee, and even Chin.
"Er …" She heard Sokka say. "Things are starting to look nasty here. Aang can fly, but we need Appa for a proper retreat."
She then heard Aang shout.
"Momo, Tuerto, here!"
"What, what?" Toph asked.
"El Tuerto is carrying something on its beak," Sokka said. "It looks like parchment. Momo is just hanging to the bird." He turned to Suki. "That Momo is kinda clingy, isn't he? If El Tuerto dumps him we know why."
"La!" Aang called. "This is a simple test. If your actions do not invalidate the agreement, there's nothing I can do to this document. However, if by any chance what you did contravenes the spirit of the covenant and breaches it, the covenant is not longer valid and thus destructible."
"Wow!" Sokka said. "Aang just shot a blast of fire to that scroll, completely incinerating it. Nothing left. Just ashes on the wind."
Toph heard La's frustrated groans and she then saw that the two Gods holding the Fish down were also embracing him, consoling him. Yue was kissing the Fish's face.
"La," she was saying with her sweet, multi-layered voice. Toph understood that it was probably both their voices, Yue's and Tui's, on top of each other. "It's time to let go. Let it go, baby, it's not worth it."
This time Toph was faster than Katara.
"I gave you good advice, Fish!" she screamed. "Take it!!"
The Fish seemed to pay attention to her voice for a moment, and suddenly all the snow and the ice that formed the Fish dissolved in flurries that flew on the wind. La was gone. Yue looked at Agni, desolated, when something else happened. The whirlwind of snow started forming again and this time it kept coming and going, like a translucent dream that a mind dreamt once, but couldn't place. The whirlwind was taking a humanoid form, a hovering, floating humanoid form like Yue's and Agni's.
Toph heard Suki next to her gasp. In Total Shock.
"Oh by Kyoshi!"
"What, what?" Toph asked. Even if she could see and feel the Gods, it was not easy for her. It was still like looking through a sheer fabric, denying details.
"La … he looks like … Sokka! But improved. A bit taller, the hair a tad longer, with more muscle … and he's smirking! Like Agni's type smirk!"
Katara rushed to the warrior.
"Suki, Suki, breathe! You're hyperventilating. You need to breathe!"
Sokka, on the other hand, was deeply disturbed.
"What's that fish doing with my face and my body? Ah? How did he manage to get his hair to look like that? That's not fair! Oh, by the moon, what's that God doing now? Is he holding Agni's hand? Someone STOP THIS, right now! Chin, aren't there any laws against a God appropriating my likeness and doing this? Don't I have Moral Rights or something?"
"Well, yes, Master Sokka, you do have Moral Rights, but these are Gods we are talking about. Not to leave you in the lurch or anything, but I'm not taking this case. Get another law school drop-out to help you here."
"Zuko, ZUKO! What's your grandpa doing to me, ah?"
"Sokka, Sokka, look at me! HERE! Those guys over there, those are OTHER guys. You and me, we're MANLY. We don't hold hands. NO! Don't look at them! Wait, what the…? Oh, that's just disgusting! Grandpa, DON'T KISS THE FISH!"
Suki was crying.
"Lucky, lucky Moon," she sobbed. "Look at her, holdings both their hands, kissing both of them! And here I am, dealing with the Kyoshi Code. I hate my job!"
Toph heard Aang's voice.
"Gods, a new agreement is to be negotiated between the Water Tribes, La and Yue. Hereby I appoint the main negotiators from our side to this Agreement: Kanna and Katara Water Tribe. They will ensure that the agreement is fair and balanced." Toph heard Gran-Gran's voice in the distance. "YES!! Finally!!" 'Poor Fish,' she thought, and then remembered that Fish-Sokka was happily holding Yue's and Agni's hands, so there was not need for much pity.
She then heard Aang's airbending and felt the breeze that meant he was coming over. He landed in the middle of Appa, next to her. He grabbed Toph's arm.
"Ok guys, I need you dismount. Crisis had passed and the Tribes are safe. Katara," he said, slipping in a commanding tone so easily that Katara stood up in attention mode immediately. "Please negotiate with La the new covenant between the tribes, him and the Moon. Gran-Gran will be the main negotiator, but I need you to tone her down a bit, she will probably try to get the Gods to do the laundry and take out the garbage once a week. That won't do. Chin will help you. When the Gods are done kissing, of course. Ah, and please tell Sokka to stop threatening the gods with his sword. Those are not good negotiation skills. Why is Suki crying so hard? Hey, Sifu Hotman, are you OK? Katara, I think Zuko is about to throw up. I can't stay, I need to take Toph somewhere else so she can recover."
"Recover from what?" Katara asked when they were all in the ground, but Aang was already steering Appa away, out of earshot.
"From what I'm going to do her," he said in a low voice from Appa's head.
They were flying. Aang did not wait for the negotiations between Gran-Gran, Katara and La to start. He was sitting now next to her, grabbing her hand.
"Who's steering Appa?" Toph asked.
"He's in auto pilot," he answered. She shrugged, lost. Maybe that's what he called his psychic connection with the bison. Whatever.
She had to ask. She knew him too well.
"You were not really planning on killing that smelly animal, were you?"
"No, not me. But Sokka was."
She was amazed.
"And you were ready to let him do that? For me?" She was sooo moved.
He scratched the back of his head, not answering. She opened her mouth flabbergasted. She knew him too well.
"Oh no!" Toph said shaking her head, sooo un-moved now. "You were planning to keep that smelly animal hidden, weren't you? You wouldn't have killed that animal even if Kuei would have chosen me instead of Bosco!"
"Don't get so upset, Sifu T. I would have never let Kuei keep you instead of Bosco. I would have gone all glowy on him anyway, believe me. I was hoping that things wouldn't come to that. And I was right, they didn't."
"You know what? Things come too easy for you." She crossed her arms. "I came too easy to you. You don't deserve me. Give me the ticket slip, receipt or whatever is it that those Water Tribes gave you to claim me. I'm claiming myself."
He grabbed her waist and pinned her with his body on top of Appa's fur.
"You cannot claim yourself," he said, kissing her with abandon. "I claimed you first. I threw away the ticket slip. You're mine now."
She tried to fight the situation, with as much enthusiasm as if she would have been eating a sea prune.
"I'm not lost luggage. I refused to be claimed by anyone or anything."
"You're not lost luggage, you're a lost little blind girl who needs saving from big bad lobsters." He grabbed her legs, wrapping them around him. She fumbled with the clasps of his parka. "You're blind, you're going to rip this, let me do it."
"Listen monk, I'm doing this voluntarily out of my own earthbending free will, I belong to no one! Next thing I know, you'll talking in terms of 'taking me'." She tried to mimic his voice, while he was busy opening her robes. "Oh Sifu T, I'm taking you on top of Appa." She suddenly gasped, when she felt what he was doing to her. "Oh, earth, you're good!"
"I will be taking you on top of Appa. Say you're mine or I stop."
"You're asking for a boulder against your arrow, Avatar."
"You're on air and on Appa. You've no leverage."
"Sooner or later you'll have to land Appa and then we will see about leverage." She was kissing him, rubbing his ears, straddling him. She was all over him. Like a loose hussy tarty floozy wanton piece of earthbending tramp.
"Say you're mine, that you're claimed chattel or I land Appa right now, on the South Pole, leave you on ice, and then leave," he said, meaning it. She ignored him.
"You're asking to be slapped senseless into the Avatar State, that's what you're doing," she answered in his mouth.
"You want me to go all glowy on you?" he threatened.
"Oh, by earth, YES!"
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No, No, don't go away yet! This story is not over. There's more coming!
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THANK YOU Caroline and Gaby for the beta-ing and the support!
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Legal cameos in this fanfic:
(1) Unclean hands: equitable legal principle that translates into: if you hit me first, you don't get to cry to the teacher when I hit you back. We are both in trouble, but you don't get to benefit from it.
(2) Tortious Interference: legal principle in tort that translates into: if you sign a contract with me and then do something so I cannot fulfill my part of the bargain, you are in trouble and cannot get the benefit of the agreement. In other words, remember how in The Little Mermaid Ursula is all over Ariel, doing everything to make sure the Prince does not kiss her, even going as far as disguising herself as a babe and enchanting the Prince away? Well, if Ariel or Triton had Chin as an advisor the story would have been different. For starters, when Triton tries to destroy the contract that parchment would have gone in flames. That bit in the Little Mermaid has been bothering me for a while.
(3) Moral Rights: Moral Rights are rights of creators of copyrighted works generally recognized in civil law jurisdictions. It means that the author always has a moral right on his/her creation, and can oppose if someone does something that soil, distort, mutilate or affect the integrity of the creation. An example is Zuko doing Elvis. Bryke may oppose the idea. However, this principle does not exist in Common Law countries, like the U.S., Australia or the U.K. So Bryke is out of luck! HA-HA!!