Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Day Ten
December 22nd

Snow fluttered down outside of the window, a classic picture of Christmas as the fire roared silently below the mantel, crackling merrily against the sound of the wind carrying the snowflakes. Thoughts raced through Remus' mind as he stared at those beautiful rain colored eyes, deep and forgiving as he lost himself in the memories he found there.

It had been years, a decade and more since he had last been with the man who's presence now suddenly graced him. That last Christmas having been spent with Lily and James and little Harry, a happy, very merry Christmas, as far as he could remember. Laughter filled the room, smiles and jokes following shortly thereafter, the feeling of the Holiday season finally appearing from the monstrous weight that had been pressed upon them for so long.

Now that weight was back, but then again…so was the one person he wanted to share such a burden with. He was still skin stretched over bone, merely a ghost of the man he had once loved so dearly, still loved, with all of his broken, tattered heart. And it had ached deeply from the man's loss.

Now he was back, and the ache suddenly wasn't there anymore, as if filled suddenly by his presence. And he welcomed it, however much he shouldn't have. He thought him dead, gone and lost into an oblivion he couldn't have followed him into, however much he wished he could have.

Yet his tired eyes filled with tears at the very sight of him, broken and lifeless in a body he had once known to be full of passion and a liveliness he'd never encountered in any other soul. He wished, no, yearned deeply for it back. To have his Sirius back.

They both lay beside the fire, the Christmas tree lit beautifully behind Sirius as he stared blankly into space, searching for words he should say, words he should have said years ago. But they were lost before they came, and as he looked into Remus' devastatingly blue eyes, all of his defenses melted uselessly before him, and he said the only thing he could have meant in that precious moment.

"I'm sorry, Remus," he bowed his head as his glass of Firewhiskey lay untouched by his side, Remus' having already been half emptied.

"For what?" Remus was pulled from his thoughts as his eyes connected with his old lover's, and silence enveloped them once more.

"For everything," he sighed before shifting in his seat on the floor, "for leaving, for not doing what I should have, for being a coward."

The words spilled from his lips as if he'd had them there for years, and the truth was he had, he'd practiced this speech in Azkaban for years, seeking out the correct words for the crimes he had committed, the crime of leaving the one person he'd ever loved behind. It had eaten at him terribly.

Tears welled one more in Remus' steely blue eyes, his hand automatically reaching for Sirius' as he stared at the ground, both waiting for a response.

"It's never been your fault," he lifted his hand to cup the man's cheek, "and you've never been a coward, Sirius."

He leaned into his touch, reveling in the warmth, the comfort, the love he found there.

"I sure as bloody hell feel like one."

"James would say different," they both looked up at the mention of their best friends name, the torment Remus found in that look was nearly enough to break his already shattered heart.

And then, tears spilled from Sirius' eyes.

It was the first time he'd let himself mourn in years, he'd never given the dementors the satisfaction of his pain, his undying suffering. He would never grant him what was rightfully his, what he had earned. And at the sight of those tears running down Sirius' withered cheek, Remus broke again, too.

His lips were tracing the path of salt his tears left, kissing them away as Sirius reveled in the gesture, leaning into the brunette's touch as it comforted a part of him that had been in agony for so long he had thought himself numb. Until Remus.

Remus offered Sirius something he thought himself unworthy of after all of these years, love. He felt it in his lips across his skin, his hands that cupped his neck, his breath that warmed his cold skin. And in those beautifully deep eyes he'd seen so many times, and yet still took his breath away at the sight.

And when Remus pulled away to look into his lost and unfeeling eyes, Sirius smiled for the first time in years, and pressed his lips to Remus'.

It was tender, so magnificently tender that Remus choked back a sob, his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he deepened the kiss, and felt Sirius for the first time in over a decade, and lost himself to it. He felt Sirius' control slipping, his tongue gently following the seam of his lips as he opened them, and moaned ever so softly.

But Remus waited, patiently coaxing his lover from the shell he'd been cast to, the empty and hollow person he'd been occupying for so long, and when Sirius' teeth caught Remus' full bottom lip, his hands finally reached for him.

Sirius moaned as he felt Remus' warmth, it was all around him, surrounding him as he tasted the werewolf, and committed it to his memory forever. He explored with flicks and strokes of his tongue, relishing in the soft whimpers that crawled into his own mouth, and smiling at the sound.

Remus' hands found the buttons to Sirius' shirt, and slowly, hesitantly began to undo them, pulling the plastic through the fabric as Sirius pulled back, his lips still grazing Remus' as he watched his hands slide down his chest and across his shoulders, peeling the cloth from his still cold skin.

He trembled from his warmth, kissing him softly again as his own hands caressed the hem of the shirt Remus wore, playing with it before pulling it from his body and discarding it with his own clothing. His fingertips ran across the silver scars on the man's chest, following them as Remus shivered from the touch, his fingernails grazing the sensitive skin as his breath caught in his throat from the beauty of his golden skin.

Sirius kissed him in earnest once more, his hands still searching his body as their tongues curled around each other, their lips pressing so tightly together they could no longer tell one from the other. And when Remus' hand brushed against Sirius' thigh, he almost moaned from the touch.

His long and tapered fingers played with the zipper of his pants until he pulled them from his slender hips, and placed them by the fire, his hands sliding up the man's legs as he trembled under him, Remus smiling against his lips as Sirius' own hands searched for the opening of Remus' trousers.

And once the rest of their clothing had been placed next to the now dwindling fire, they lay in each other's arms, their lips tasting familiar skin as they reacquainted themselves with the other's body, searching for the places that created whimpers and moans, and finding them with ease.

They fell into place as if that decade had never been stolen from them, as if they'd lived in that flat together forever, as if they'd been together for all of eternity. And when Sirius' broken voice caressed Remus' ear, he shuddered from the sorrow he heard there,

"Make love to me, Remus, please."

He kissed his lips softly as he laid his body against Sirius' hips, and slowly, gently slid into him. They both moaned from the relief in that one motion, their eyes locked as Remus began to move, his hips drawing gently back before sliding slowly into him once more.

Sirius' legs wrapped around Remus' waist as his hand found one of Remus' and gripped it tightly with his shaking fingers. Remus' hips still moving achingly slow against his, arching forward as the feel of his warmth surrounding him caused his eyes to flutter closed, his forehead leaning against Sirius' shoulder as his hand roamed the brunette's back, tracing the scars that marred his perfect flesh as his hips still rocked forward.

But when that slow, burning release fell upon them, them both cried out from the force of it.

And when the fire barely glowed in the darkness, their bodies still joined as they lay in each other's arms, Sirius finally said the one truth he'd been searching for all night,

"I love you, Remus."

It was all he'd ever needed to say.

--

Author's Note: So, this might be a little cheesier than I normally like, a little more dramatic than I'm comfortable with but…when I sat down to write it, this idea caught up with me and I couldn't stop the words from pouring out. The first part of this story I got was "Make love to me, Remus, please." And with that this whole story erupted forth. This particularly, if I may say so, beautiful piece goes to remuslives23, who has been with me for a while now, and as given more support than I could have ever wished for. I even made Remus' eyes blue for you :D Hopefully you like it, I'm still a bit worried, Review!! --Delta