I don't know about you guys, but I'm dying to know what Edward's going to say to Bella after what happened! ;)
She had to be terrified of me, if not only she hated me. I had ridden her every hope at a normal human existence. I was the reason she lost her husband, her daughter, her life. She started walking up to me -her eyes to the floor, and if I was capable of trembling my knees would have been, and I would have been falling to the ground. She walked past me abruptly, being careful not to touch me and entered the house, as if I didn't even exist. As if I wasn't even standing there.
It felt like the force of a thousand knives ripping at y body. I would have given anything to have her insult me, or at least try to hit me, but ignoring me was more painful than all mentioned. Being ignored by the only person you had ever loved was worse than being turned into the vile monster I was, cruel, but I deserved this.
I wasn't blind, I got the message, she didn't want me near her. I entered the house, running past the whole clan welcoming Bella. I could listen to their spoken words, and thoughts. Tanya felt very resentful towards Bella, as she saw she was still not out of my life. She didn't have to worry anymore, there was little doubt in my mind that Bella wanted me far from her.
Irina and Kate felt very welcoming of her, as they felt of any human, they liked them as diversions, if Bella were male they would probably try seducing her, I felt some revulsion towards this, they lived for life's physical pleasures, nothing else.
Eleazar found her to be quite ordinary, he was too narcissistic to ever find anyone but himself or his mate Carmen interesting. I felt some gratitude towards his attitude, he won't be paying any attention to Bella, or to her enticing scent. I didn't want him or his talents doing anything to her.
Of course, there was less of a chance of she being in danger here, these vampires had been "vegetarians" for more than a millennium, they're self-control was almost impenetrable.
When I got to my assigned guest room I locked myself in. If Bella wanted me gone from her life, then that's what I would do. I could be selfless for her, I could rid myself of her existence. If her dislike of me would grow from having me around her, then I would resist. If only to have her not hate me at the end of her life, so at least I wouldn't be the one she dreamt of when she had nightmares, if only so she would appreciate my granting her wishes.
I could feel someone coming up the stairs, and sadly I could read her mind. It was Tanya, wondering why I wasn't downstairs with the human. She knocked on the door softly, for a change.
"May I come in?" she asked in a soft voice.
"Of course, it's your house Tanya." I agreed as courteously as I could. The door slowly opened and her head peeked in. She sat on the edge of the bed I laid in -courtesy of Tanya herself- it had one sole purpose, which made the bed completely useless.
"Edward, I'm worried about you," she commented with unnecessary concern. "You never come out, you barely go out hunting anymore. You don't even talk to me, have I done something wrong?" I cut her off, she was obviously going to make this all about her.
"It's not about you Tanya, you know it. I'm sorry to be intruding in your life, and I'm sorry I have given you hopes for something happening between us, I really am. But I have lost everything I wanted in this damned living and I just don't feel worth it anymore, worth walking, hunting, talking, existing." I was so caught up in my rant I hadn't noticed she had taken of her shirt and was sitting opposite to me completely topless. I glared at her for trying so hard, it was utterly repulsive, being that desperate.
"Forget about her, Edward. You can have me, I'm yours, I have always wanted you and only you," she was crawling towards me on the bed, trying to look seductive, as I read in her thoughts.
"Tanya, stop this. You cannot just throw yourself at me," I said sternly. Her hands started coming up to unbutton my shirt, that's were I stopped her, grabbing her by the wrists and holding them at her sides.
"Is she worth resisting this? She clearly doesn't want you." She pleaded, she wanted me desperately, I couldn't be around her anymore.
"But I want her, not you, Tanya. I don't want you," I repeated for her benefit. Her thoughts were flaring with rage, however, she stood up from the bed and left the room, leaving her shirt on the bed and not caring if she had nothing covering her breasts.
I waited to hear some reaction from anyone outside the door but I heard none, only Tanya's thoughts. Ha! Here's poor Bella, I'm glad she's here, she's probably thinking I was messing around with Edward. good. And then she winked at her. Oh! I hate you, she thought.
Bella's thoughts were hidden to me, which drove me mad, I wanted to know what she was thinking. She couldn't possibly believe I was with Tanya, in that way or in any other way possible. No, Bella would never believe that. Would she?