Disclaimer: We Don't Own.

A/N: Not much, just you know, previous junk…hehe. Read and Review please-this was written primarily by my co-conspirator with some editing on my side-hope you enjoy-please review! Or else I'll dunk Batman in a KFC deep fryer and hand Mr. J upside down in the sewers…

Joker looked from his hands, to the supposed rug beneath his feet, to Batman's eyes.

"What? Why?"

"But- a- yo- ah!" Batman pointed spastically from the crazy man, to the door, and then flailed his hands through the air like a bird.

"So," Joker asked, somehow the two understood each other.

At this Batman's eyes bulged out and he stomped over to the Joker who was still in the same awkward stance. Batman stopped an inch from Joker's face. The man in make-up flinched as Batman let out a snarl.

"You need some breath-mints, Batsy," Joker pushed Batman's face away and fanned the air mockingly.

Batman leaned forward and shoved Joker.

"My breath is minty-fresh all the time!"

"Not today it ain't!"

Joker giggled and charged Batman. They both hit the brightly colored wall and fell back through it—smashing it to pieces. Batman heaved the Joker off himself.

"Why are you all on top of me today," then he realized what he had fallen over. "MY CASTLE! YOU RUINED MY CASTLE!"

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes. Feeling a jab in his back he reached around himself and his gloved hand touched something.

"WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?"

Still distraught over the destruction of his beloved castle- he stared at the weird piece of plastic through dripping eyes, "Rails?"

"AH HAHAHAHAHA!" Joker howled, jumping on top of Batman, a rope in his hand. "Now this time you won't get away!"

The Joker fastened the rope securely around both Batman and the rail.

He grabbed a remote that lay beside him and looked at it, "I love big red buttons," He squealed.

Joker depressed the large red button on the remote that simply stated 'start'. Joker giggled in excitement as a freight train made it's way down the tracks toward Batman, screaming.

Batman's eyes frantically shifted from the now racing train to the Joker, standing triumphantly in front of him.

"Do you expect me to talk?" Worry thick in his voice.

"No Batsy!" Joker's eyes grew wider. "I expect you to sing!" Batman's eye went blank.

"Are you serious?"

"NO!" Joker laughed manically.

The train was now drawing closer and closer, while Joker's eyes grew wider and wider. Anticipation dripping from them.

Thunk!

The train collided with Batman's cowl- making a definite hollow noise. Joker plucked the train off the tracks and examined it- throwing it over his shoulder with a huff. He picked up another one that was a good deal larger, and set it back at the start.

Batman—deciding this was enough—sat up. Taking the track and all of it's occupants—including three more trains—off the floor with him. His muscles bulging, he tried pulling the rope off. It stayed firmly tied.

Batman pushed his arms away from his body—the rope seemed to stretch….but it didn't. Finally Batman bent down and bit into the rope—chewing through it.

Joker looked on—sniggering all the while.

Batman finally broke free "It's clobberin' time!"

Jokers eye enlarged in mock fear. He threw a train at the advancing figure. Batman caught it in his hand and the metal creaked. He strode up to the Joker and grabbed half of the train car that he held ready in his hands.

Batman pulled it toward him, leaning back on his heels.

Joker yanked it toward himself, causing Batman to hunch over.

Looking like a see-saw they tugged back and forth until a deafening crack sounded.

Batman fell back onto his Kevlar—padded butt and Joker landed on his skinny ass.

The hooded vigilante glanced at the broken piece of a train car in his hand and almost burst into tears.

"That's not fair! Give it to me," he exclaimed.

Joker reached out toward the last model train, "Fine, I'll share," he said sweetly.

Arm twitching, he hauled his arm back and chucked the train at Batman.

It hit him squarely in his third eye.

Thunk

"Ahhh!" Batman grabbed his head and moaned, "Have to…..AGH! Watch the lettery things!"

The Joker lifted an eyebrow, confused. "Words?"

"Shut the fugcke up!" Batman roared.

Joker's eyes widened in what was almost concern.

"I think I did some fun brain damage," He jumped up and down, clapping his purple gloved hands.

Batman, still befuddled, seized a mini Christmas tree and hurled it at the dancing green and purple man, The Joker easily dodged it.

"STOP SPINNING," Batman bellowed, in as he attempted to stand up, unsuccessfully. He landed right back down on his rump.

Joker tittered, "And they say I'm the looney?"