It's good he didn't stop and try to apologize, I'm so weak for him, I probably would have ended up kissing him right there on the door steps. He kept his distance the whole evening, but I had something to ask of him. I needed him to make me a vampire. It was the only way I was going to stop Isabeli from killing him. It was the only way I could spend time with the people I loved, the only people in my life, my family and Edward. It was unreasonable that I wanted Edward alive, after what he'd done, but I had no choice. The love I felt for that maddeningly jealous vampire was unconditional, and irrevocable. I had a feeling no matter what he did to me, I would still love him. I was under a spell, and there was no way of removing it. He dazzled me.
I was determined to knock on the room Alice had told me he stayed in, but when I approached it, another vampire came out. Tanya, in all her glorious splendor. She had on pants, but that was it. Her well-proportioned chest was exposed to the world, and she was proud of it. She winked at me with a sly-grin, as in insinuating what had occurred behind the now closed doors to Edward's room. It was hard for me to believe Edward had been fooling around with her, she was just downstairs, it just couldn't be.
I was about to turn back and go to sleep in my room but I could not run out on this one. I knocked on his door hesitantly and waited. This wasn't about who he was sleeping with, nor if I minded, this was about Isabeli, and I needed to be with her.
"Bella?" He asked weakly while opening the door. His eyes were averted to the floor and he looked genuinely embarrassed. He must have known it was me, he couldn't read my mind of all the people in the house.
"Yes Edward," I replied curtly. I was here on business, nothing else for now. "Let me in, I have something to ask you."
"Of course," he stepped aside, glancing quickly over my eyes, probably trying to guess what was running through my mind. Once in the room I turned on my heel and looked into his eyes, noticing the sadness behind them. It broke my heart to see his condition, he looked paler than ever, and the dark spots beneath his eyes looked permanent, like they would never leave his hollow face. I cleared my throat to start speaking, that's when he started ranting...
"I'm so sorry, Bella. Sorry can't cover it and I know, but I promise to remain away from you. You don't have to ask me to, you and I will not ever cross paths again. You will never again be hurt by me. I have caused you too much pain, and I feel miserable. I won't even look at you anymore, you can consider me what I am, dead. I'll let Isabeli kill me if it makes you happy, I'm willing to accept what I deserve, I won't harm her I promise, although I've broken promises before, I never should have gotten near you again, I don't know what came over me! I'm so-" It was agonizing to hear him I had to stop him, this was going in the wrong direction, I didn't expect an apology, I was of no importance at the moment.
"Edward! I'm not here to ask you to stay from me, I need you right now. I need a favor, and I know Alice won't help me on this one, she wouldn't think of it fair, and neither will you, but I suppose you owe me as much. Please." I paused and he seemed confused at my words, "I need you to bite me, to make me a vampire! I have to help Isabeli." He was stunned.
"I can't Bella, I know I owe you anything you want, and much more, but I cannot kill you too. Besides, I told you, she can kill me if she wants, I don't want to live knowing you and your daughter are unhappy because of me. I don't want to live without you, I've told you that before." Again with the suicidal thoughts! It was incredible how I had been so many years away from him and yet I was getting so annoyed at him being so stubborn.
"Not again, Edward!" I yelled infuriated. "Why can't you ever do what I want?" Tears huddled at the corner of my eyes.
"It's for your own good Bella!" He yelled back, obviously agitated.
" Just this time, let me save her, make me a vampire!" I screamed back. I had never yelled at him before, but this was getting out of hand and he was beyond unreasonable.
"You don't know what you're asking! You can't do anything about this! Let her kill me and all your trouble is done!" He started pacing back and forth the room.
"You don't know everything Edward!" I yelled raising my arms with exasperation.
"I won't hurt her. I won't put up a fight, she can kill me!"
"I don't want her to kill you, damn it!," he turned his head towards me, "I don't want you to die! I just want to stop her! You won't, ...so I will! She won't kill you, Edward! You can't let her!" I cried. It was unfair how I couldn't have both ways, I either saved Edward, or saved my daughter, and I knew this. But if I was going to lose him soon to Isabeli, then why not let him know how much I still loved him? This was unfair to Daniel, not to mention Isabeli, but I couldn't stand this anymore. I was feeling sorry for the man who killed her father, but I couldn't help it. I loved him, it couldn't be any other way.
I couldn't hear him speak anymore of his sacrifice for me, I was already losing everybody I loved. I couldn't let Isabeli take him away from me.
Crying desperately, I threw myself at him. Hesitantly, so unsure, his arms came up behind me, and held me close to him with his iron grasp. I hid my face in his cool chest, "I love you Edward...," I sobbed.
"Bella...," he said as if something was stuck in his throat. "I don't deserve you. I should die."
"I love you, no matter what you do to me, I will always love you..." I cried, I couldn't imagine knowing he was dead, because of me. Insignificant and weak as I was, I felt protective of him, I would never let anything bad happen to him.
"You shouldn't..." He whispered, not letting go of me.
"Edward, I need you now more than ever! I need to be a vampire, please." I pleaded desperately. "What else can I do? I have nothing left in the human world for me." I backed away from him, trying to reason with him.
"Bella, you just can't do this, I can't turn you just so you can protect me, I can take care of myself."
"But you won't!," I cried desperately. Even now when his life was in danger he wanted me to remain human. "What do you want me to do? Stand back and watch while Isabeli kills you? While my daughter becomes a murderer and goes crazy with blood thirst, she still is just a newborn! I can't help her while I'm human, Edward. Everything I care for in this life is already immortal. Please Edward, that's all I'm asking, bite me, right now! We're running out of time!" I had no other choice. If there was a slight chance I could help Isabeli or Edward, it was only being a vampire. How else could I get close to my daughter? How else could I live forever with her? How else could I try to protect Edward? How else could I try to save both my daughter and Edward?
He looked to the floor and then back to my eyes with a pained expression before answering, "I'm about to kill the most important person in the world to me. I truly am sorry, for this and for everything." He sat on the edge of the bed, leaving space for me to lie in. I was stunned by him. I couldn't believe it. "I hope you can forgive me for this."
Already on the bed I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. His free hand came up to caress my face, leaving a trail of ice behind. A tear slipped down the same path his fingers went. His face came closer, still unsure of what he was doing. So I closed the distance between him and me, whispering in his ear, "Thank you," before I felt his cold lips on my neck, and his razor-sharp teeth sinking into my flesh.