Disclaimer: We Don't Own.

A/N: Not much, just you know, previous junk…hehe. Read and Review please-this was written primarily by my co-conspirator with some editing on my side-hope you enjoy-please review! Or else I'll dunk Batman in a KFC deep fryer and hand Mr. J upside down in the sewers…

Sauntering slowly down the aisles, arms out and hands knocking everything in his path to a pile on the floor, Joker hummed a little tune to himself.

"Little Miss Muffet, Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider, who sat down beside her, and frightened Miss Muffet away," The Joker enunciated each word. Tongue flitting across each word like it was the richest cream.

"Come to think of it, it sounds familiar, like ah—my father's screams," The Joker sighed and a matte finish crossed his eyes for a second.

Tongue flinching between his lips, Joker flicked his wrist out, stabbing the first box in his way. Letting out a satiated sigh, he retracted the blade, his urges tamped down for the moment.

Joker exhaled, "Come out, come out wherever you are—seriously or else I'll—I don't really know, I've killed the precious girly, and the precious car—what's left?"

Shrugging his shoulders, The Joker kept on moving, listening for any sounds. After a handful of minutes, he twirled down a new aisle.

Whap-crick

The Joker's head whipped to the side, a bit of pink flesh exposed from the white make-up.

Head still twisted to his side he laughed slowly, "So, you want to have a duel?"

Grabbing a duplicate of Batsy's Barbie doll, Joker wheeled his arm back and swiped Batman across lower half of his face, the bare bit under his mask.

There was a resounding crack, "Glass jaw?"

Batman snarled and plucked a birthday Barbie from the wall and brandished it before him.

"Back, fiend, back!"

The Joker rolled his eyes and let his neck roll slightly, "Oh, come on. That's all you can come up with—seriously, with all the time you spend holed up in—what is it—cave, lair, penthouse—you could come up with some better lines than that. The world is a fine place and worth fighting for. I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder. Bring back dueling, I say. Drive-by sword fight. Those who live by the sword die by those who live by the gun. I don't like to fight."

Batman's wrist was limp the Barbie drooping, "Do you have an off button? People say they appreciate a good ramble, but clearly they've never met you."

The purple and green clad man gritted his teeth, the yellow sheen glimmering dangerously, "All you had to do was ask."

Whipping a New Years Barbie off the shelf, Joker slid his tongue across his teeth, "Oh, this will be fun."

Batman righted his grip and pulled one hand back to balance, "En garde!"

Joker didn't wait for his declaration, he had already darted forward and slashed at the bat-suit with surprising speed. Pulling back, he danced backwards out of a range of a returning strike.

"Another hit, what say you," Joker giggled madly, putting on a British accent.

Batman frowned and spoke aside, "Mad, I tell you mad, Faust would have a veritable field day with this one."

"O villany! Ho! let the door be lock'd: Treachery! Seek it out," his voice rose, eyes wild with the passion of the fight.

As if they were rapiers, the two barbies clashed, neither gaining any ground. They played back and forth, triumphant laughter and small squeaks of the floor the only true noise.

Crossing dolls, Joker levered his upwards, careful not to lose grip of his own. At last, Batsy's gloved hands slid and the doll shot out of his grip like a rocket. His victory was short lived as his doll was knocked out his hand, a set of painfully bony fist slamming into his knuckles.

Growling, Joker palmed the first doll he could, foaming at the mouth. He kicked Batsy backward with one foot and whipped the doll end over end, smacking the goody two shoes square in the chest.

With a clunk and a pop, Mrs. Claus and her head hit the floor.

Points for anyone who knows who the Joker was quoting-I just think he'd be cultured-hehehahah-hoho.