Note: Please see Prologue for warning, copyright and disclaimer information.
Arrangements
I drove back to St. Stephen's in a daze of exhaustion. I slipped up the back stairway avoiding everyone, and went right to my room. I wanted to be alone, but I was expected to live at the church, so I'd decided to go there instead of back to my apartment so I could at least keep up appearances.
Sleep was a long time in coming, and when it finally did it was filled with dreams of the night Mac died. I relived every moment, and woke up around noon gasping for air. I knew I couldn't face dreaming like that again, so I went upstairs to the gym and found one of the others to work out with for a while.
Afterward Aislynn, one of the other hunters at St. Stephen's, asked me to go with her to the docks to pick up supplies from one of the ships that had come in. I spent the rest of the day on Society business and the only reason I realized the sun had gone down was because I felt a Kindred pass us in one of the cars on Main Street. I made my excuses and ended up at my apartment about a half-hour later with my dinner in hand. As I walked in the door, I heard the outgoing message on the answering machine stop.
"Eliza, I realize that anonymity has its virtues, but could you get a better answering machine tape?" Cormac's voice rang out through the nearly empty apartment.
I thought about ignoring the call to give myself time to compose my thoughts before I talked to with him again. It was really hard to think of him as a vamp, especially when he wasn't around for me to feel the vamp vibes he gave off.
"I had another dream about us," he continued. "I would appreciate you calling me back as soon as possible."
I picked up the phone. "Cormac?"
"When I said to call me back right away," he murmured, "I did not mean this quickly."
"I just came in and heard you on the answering machine," I told him defensively. I knew I should have let the machine pick it up. "What's up?"
"Your mother, Kate," he said softly.
"What about her?" Had he seen her? What had she said to him?
"What did she look like the last time you saw her?" he interjected.
"About five four," I told him, "dark hair, kind of shoulder length. She has a waifish type look. Why?"
"When did you last see her?" he asked.
"Last night, why?" He still wasn't answering my question and it was beginning to irritate me.
"I believe I saw your mother last night as well," he admitted.
"Really?" How had he recognized her? She looked a lot different now than she had twenty years ago.
"I believe I know her by another name," he commented.
"She has lots of those," I said wryly. When I was a child she had changed identities every time we moved, which was every couple of years.
"I will be flying out at the end of this evening," he told me.
"Oh." I couldn't think of anything else to say. He'd been gone for over nineteen years and only back in my life less than twenty-four hours, but I knew I'd miss him.
"I plan on returning as soon as possible," he added, "hopefully to pick you up and continue my quest."
I sighed and closed my eyes. "Well, we might have a problem with that," I told him.
"And that is?"
"I am unable to get an agreement for me to leave town."
"From?"
"The powers that be," I told him dryly.
"The Inquisition or Elvira?"
What did he think? "Elvira."
"What is her reason for not letting you go?"
"Gee," I said bitingly, "I'm their only source of information from the Inquisition in town and it took them two years to get me in after the last girl disappeared. That sounds like reason enough for me." Just because I didn't agree with her, didn't mean I couldn't see her reasoning.
"Perhaps I will speak with her," he said thoughtfully.
"Well I hope it helps," I said softly.
"I hope so too."
Silence burned down the wire, a silence I didn't know how to break. What did we really have to talk about, anyway?
"How is Corrine?" he asked.
That was one thing. "She's fine."
"You've spoken with her since we…?"
"Yes," I told him. "I saw her this morning. She's doing well." I didn't mention her dream or the book I planned to give to her that had once been Mac's. Cormac would have no use for it.
"That is good to hear." He sounded genuinely relieved.
"As much as I hate to admit it," I told him, "sometimes the mind tricks your kind plays can be beneficial." I couldn't stop the bitterness I felt from coming through in my voice.
"Yes well, they are not as foolproof as we would like them to be," he replied. "How well do you know Gillian?"
"Gillian Hollroyd?" How did he know her? "She's a friend. I don't know her well, but I know her. She drove Corrine home last night."
"Yes," he said softly. "Did you speak with Gillian about Corrine's particular… spooky-boo?"
"No, I spoke with Zora. Why do you ask?"
"Gillian knows that Corrine was given a different memory than the other girls," he stated bluntly.
"I see." That could prove dangerous in the long run.
"She knows that they were asked to give her a different memory."
"Well," I drawled, "I didn't think anyone would mind."
"If you wish to keep her separate from our unique lives, or lack thereof," he told me, "Something needs to be done about this. Gillian is not keeping the information too much a secret."
He was right, something had to be done and I had to be the one to do it. "I'll have to speak with her," I said quietly.
"Last evening I was visiting another friend of mine in town who called Gillian for some information," he explained. "Gillian pretty much told her everything except your name and my name."
He had friends in Salem? "I will definitely have to speak with her," I replied. "I've gone through too much in the last few years to jeopardize Corrine this late in the game."
"I feel the same."
That pissed me off. How in hell could he have any concept about how I felt? It wasn't like he'd spent the last ten years of his life sacrificing everything he believed in to protect her. "You feel the same."
"That is what I said," he replied calmly.
"Yeah." As if.
"Why is that so funny?"
I shook my head. "I don't want to argue, there's no need for it," I told him.
"I'm not arguing," he said. "I merely said that I agree with you that Corrine must be protected."
"You're right, she must be." And I would do everything in my power to make sure that happened, even if I had to kill this vamp from my past to do it.
"But however good that protection is," he asked, "should she also not be given a choice?"
"A choice for what?"
"Eliza, have you ever known me to be anything other than blunt?"
I chuckled despite the headache I felt coming on. "There was never a tactful bone in your body." It would be so easy to fall back into the relationship I'd once had with him, but I knew I couldn't do that. He was a vamp, and that changed everything.
"Then take no offense at this," he told me, "but you are a half-breed hunter. I was a mage, am a vampire. There are things in this world—"
"That she must be protected from at all costs," I said firmly, taking offense at his description of me despite the fact that it was true.
"The best protection is knowledge," he said. "If she knows what we are, what we were, then she can be given the choice to decide from there if she wishes to get involved or be made to forget."
I couldn't believe what he was suggesting. "Are you saying that we should just go to her and tell her everything?"
"No, not everything," he corrected. "You know her better than I, obviously."
"So what exactly is it that you want to tell her?" I asked, my tone wary.
"I believe she at least deserves the knowledge of us," he told me. "Not necessarily that we are her parents, but that you are something more than just her friend, and that I am and was something more than just your…."
I knew he was waiting for me to finish his statement, but what could I say? "Ghost from the past?"
"For lack of a better term."
I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall. "There's all kinds of terms," I said sadly. Terms like late-fiancé, love of my life, father of my child, undead ex-lover.
"Do you resent the situation, Eliza?" he asked me softly.
Damn straight, I did. What right did he to come back from the dead, well, dead? I couldn't tell him that, so I said, "Well, its all rather sudden, isn't it? You've been dead for over nineteen years."
"As far as I knew, you had too." His voice was hard as if I'd offended him, but it wasn't like he even remembered me to begin with.
"It's a little hard to adjust to." Hell, it would have been for anyone, you know?
"You're not even going to make an effort?" His voice had gotten harder.
"I am making an effort," I told him, trying to keep the anger from my voice.
"To adjust to me being in your life," he reproached me, "not to me being gone."
"Even after all these years, you still know what buttons to push, don't you?" How could he be so much the same when he didn't even remember who he was?
"I pride myself on it," he said smugly.
"You always did," I told him sadly.
"As I said," he repeated, "knowledge is the best protection. And I've found that the best way to obtain knowledge is to be straightforward."
"Sometimes it's best to be blissfully ignorant," I bit out. I wish I'd been ignorant as a child growing up, maybe I'd never have learned about what made me different from everyone else. "Don't you think that I would have liked it a lot better growing up not knowing who my mother was?"
"Then you would not be who you are," he replied.
Duh, that was the point. "Exactly."
"You would have never met me."
"There is that," I admitted reluctantly. The only time in my life that I'd ever really been happy was with Mac in Baltimore.
"You would have never known Corrine."
"Yeah, but who's to say that I wouldn't have had that house with the white picket fence and the two car garage and the fucking dog?" I asked resentfully.
"Who's to say you wouldn't have died with two puncture wounds in your neck in some back alley?" he shot back.
Been there, done that. "I've lived through it before."
"Who's to say some crazed hunter would not have staked you or beheaded you or worse for what you've been believed to be?" he asked.
I didn't like him reminding me just how much of a freak I was. "Ok, lets not go down the fairy tale road, shall we?" I warned him. "Things happened the way that they've happened, and we've just got to deal."
"And how are you dealing?"
"Well, you know me," I said wryly. "I'm a survivor. I'll deal."
"No, Eliza, I don't know you," he replied angrily. Then his voice softened. "But I would like to, if you would let me."
"What do you expect from me?" I demanded.
"An equal opportunity," he replied calmly.
"Well I used to be an equal opportunity slayer," I told him dryly. At one time I'd killed every vamp I could find.
Apparently my words amused him. "If you ever feel the need to slay me, at least call me." I heard him take a breath, then he said, "Give me the opportunity to get to know you and give yourself the opportunity to get to know me again. I think you'll find I am not so much different from the man you knew and loved."
"Yeah," I murmured, "other than not having a body temperature."
"That is just a physical state," he told me.
"A physical state that we each once swore we would end if it happened to the other," I told him bitterly.
"Do you honor my memory by ending my existence?" he asked, surprised.
"That's what you once asked me to do," I told him softly. "It's what I once asked of you."
"Well, baby," he said, his voice full of irritation, "things change."
"A lot has changed," I agreed. "You're obviously not the same man that I knew."
"Aren't I?"
"No, you're not," I snapped at him, then the sadness that always filled my soul creeped into my voice. "And I'm certainly not the girl that watched you die."
"The more things change, the more they stay the same, Eliza," he said simply. "Will you not give me the opportunity to find out how much of the man you loved still remains within me?"
Could I? What was the worst that could happen? I could lose my heart all over again, and be left exactly where I was when he'd died. Still…. "Well, all things considered," I said slowly, "I suppose I owe you that."
"You suppose?" He was angry again, and I didn't understand why.
I let my own anger at the situation rise. "What do you want me to do," I demanded, "kiss your feet and—"
"Don't do me any favors," he told me harshly before hanging up on me.
I stared at the handset in amazement. Don't do him any favors? You know, it wasn't like I asked him to come back into my life. I hadn't gone looking for this old flame to burn down my entire world. It had taken me years to build walls around the emotions I'd once felt for Mac; I refused to let this Cormac tear them down in one fell swoop. How could I live with myself if I did? I had to remind myself that he'd changed, that the Mac I once knew no longer existed. Dougal had torn his life from him and with it my life as well.
I sat the phone down carefully on its cradle, knowing that if I didn't get a handle on myself I would break it and a few more things as well. I turned and leaned against the wall. The sobs that shook my body took me totally by surprise. I sank to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees.
I don't know how long I lost myself to my grief, but eventually I realized that the phone was ringing. Reluctantly I picked it up and waited, struggling to control my breathing and hide my tears.
It was Kate. "Dear, what's wrong?" she asked. To her credit, she actually sounded like she cared. When I didn't answer, she added, "Is it Cormac again?"
I didn't have a lie ready, so I told her the truth. "He called me."
"What did he want?"
"I wish I knew," I whispered. "I wish to God I knew." I closed my eyes and felt tears seep from between the lids again.
"You're not handling this well, dear, are you?" Trust my mother to state the obvious.
I laughed hoarsely. "Not really. He's not the man he used to be."
"He's Kindred," she said gently.
"Don't you think I know that," I replied bitterly. I could feel it every time he was close to me like an itch at the base of my spine. He felt like every other vamp I'd ever been close to, even Kate.
"Would you prefer he left you alone?"
"I don't know, Kate," I told her. "I think I owe him the opportunity to learn about his past. I can't imagine what it's been like for him not remembering anything."
"You don't owe him anything," she replied in a cold voice. "He doesn't even remember you."
"Maybe he'll remember and maybe he won't, but we loved each other once." I sighed deeply. "He's going to talk to the prince about letting me go with him. Do you think she'll relent?"
"Unfortunately, I do," Kate sighed.
"Great," I said, laughing again until my breath caught on a sob. I didn't know how to feel about spending time with the new and improved Cormac. I did know the potential for a major heartbreak was there.
"Just calm down," Kate soothed.
"Who'll look after Corrine while I'm gone?" I asked. The thought of my daughter helped me regain control of myself.
"We'll take care of it."
"The clan," I muttered resentfully. "I'm sure you will." The Tremere knew that if anything happened to Corrine, they would never be able to hold me to the contract. The reminder of their hold over me pissed me off.
Why was I spilling my guts to Kate anyway? She'd just use everything I said against me.
"I'll call you later," she said softly.
"I'm going back to St. Stephens," I replied coldly. "Don't bother." I hung up before she could say anything else.
I got up and went into the kitchen where I had left my dinner when I'd heard Cormac's voice on the answering machine. I'd been hungry when I stopped to buy the food, but now even the smell nauseated me. I threw the bags into the garbage without looking at it.
In the bathroom I ran cold water and splashed it over my face. I found that I couldn't even look myself in the eye, but that didn't come as a surprise to me. There had been a lot of times in my life during the last ten years when I couldn't face my own conscience. I turned away and went back to the living room intending to lose myself in working out. I was interrupted when the phone rang yet again.
I hesitated before answering, then remembered Cormac's sarcastic remark about the answering machine's message. Reluctantly, I picked up the phone.
"Hello." I didn't trust my voice not to betray my emotions, so I told myself to keep my words to a minimum.
It was Cormac. "Eliza, I have spoken with the prince. She has given you her blessing to leave the city."
Yay. "When?"
"As soon as I'm prepared," he told me. "She has given you two weeks."
Just what I wanted, two weeks with my undead ex-lover. "All right."
"She asks only that we keep her appraised of our status."
I was surprised at her generosity, but then from what I had seen I had to admit that Elvira was a fair but stern ruler of the blood-sucking fiends in Salem. "Fine."
He paused for a moment, then asked, "Is something wrong?"
I closed my eyes. "No," I replied. What could possibly be wrong? Except, of course, everything.
"Funny," he drawled, "your mother seems to think so."
"My mother?" What did she have to do with this?
"Your mother," he repeated. "Kate, Prudence, whatever she's calling herself."
Oh. "You've spoken with her."
"Yes," he told me, "just now."
I knew Kate pretty good and if he'd just talked to her, he must have gotten an earful. Kate had never liked Mac, she'd always believed he would break my heart. I guess in the end she'd been right.
"She seems rather against you accompanying me," he added when I didn't reply.
"Is she?" That didn't surprise me.
"Quite."
I smiled sadly. "She always did want to have a say in what I was doing."
"Are you going to let her control you?" How in hell could he have no memory of his past and say exactly the same thing now that he'd said to me twenty years ago?
"Have I ever let that woman control me?" I asked harshly.
"I don't know," he replied in the same tone, "or rather I don't remember. Have you?"
"No." In fact, back when I'd had free will I'd always done the opposite of what she'd wanted me to do.
"I didn't think so."
Awkward silence filled the line. What did we have to say to each other, after all? He didn't remember me, and I remembered him all too well.
"So then I can count on you when I return?" he asked several moments later.
"When—" my voice broke and I had to clear my throat before I could continue. "When will you return?"
"I will be leaving this evening," he reminded me. "Elvira has given me a name, and I have the number to the chantry in Berlin. I believe that would be our best start. As such I need only to wrap up my personal business and find fare back."
I tried to ignore the pain in my heart at the news he was leaving. "Aren't all vamps rolling in dough?" I asked sarcastically.
"No," he said simply. "Some of us live by the ink on our fingers."
I thought of the bounty money I'd gotten over the years and the hundreds of thousands of dollars the Tremere had given Corrine. "Or the blood on our hands."
"That too," he agreed.
"So when did you say you'd be returning?" I asked. "I need to make my excuses."
"Well, how quickly can you be ready?"
"I can be ready in the time it would take for you to fly to California and return," I assured him. "When do you need me ready?"
"Let us say three days," he suggested. "I will call before I return."
"I'll be ready."
"Thank you."
I leaned my head against the wall as the full impact of the next two weeks hit me. How could I feel still this way about him? That it was Mac didn't change things, he was still a vamp. It was ironic that he was now one of the monsters that had taken my lover from me in the first place.
He sighed heavily. "What is wrong, Eliza?" His voice was soft, sounding a lot like ha had he was human.
Like I was going to share with this fiend. "Nothing," I told him firmly.
"Where are you?" he asked.
"I'm here."
"And here is?"
"In Salem." I glanced around the room I was in and saw the worn carpeting, the lack of furniture, the stained walls. Normally I didn't care what the place looked like, but the thought of him seeing my apartment made me feel ashamed of it.
"No shit," he barked.
"It's not polite to growl," I told him coolly.
"Where are you?" he demanded.
"In the apartment I keep." I wouldn't exactly call it home.
He sighed again, apparently getting the message that I didn't want to see him tonight. "I am planning on going to see Corrine before I leave the city," he told me. "I will be doing it shortly, that way I can conduct my other business later."
"She'll like that," I said softly.
"I hope so."
Again I didn't know what to say to him. I wanted to tell him about Corrine, about her first steps, her first day of school, her high school graduation. "She—" How could I describe her life to him? In the end, I didn't even try. "She's a good kid," was all I said.
He let that sink in for a few minutes, then asked, "Have you given any more thought to what we discussed earlier?"
I figured he was talking about us getting to know each other again, and that was something I'd tried very hard not to think about. "I discussed it with Kate."
"I did not ask if you discussed it with your mother," he said harshly. "I asked if you had given it any more thought."
Even with his lack of memory he still didn't like Kate. I wondered if his hatred of her was instinctive. "A little," I said finally.
"And?"
"What do you want from me?" I demanded. I thought I'd been very tolerant of him and his amnesia, considering what he was. Why was he pushing me? Did he want me to put a stake through his heart?
"What do you want from me?" he shot back.
"Is that even relevant?" I'd never get what I wanted now that he was a vamp and I was bound by my contract.
"If we are to spend the next two weeks together," he explained, "I prefer to have all the playing cards on the table."
He had a point. "Well, I asked first," I said defensively.
"I want your assistance, your understanding, your help," he told me, "and a chance for me to get to know you again and for you to get to know me again." When I didn't reply, he prompted, "I've answered your question."
"What I want from you I can never have." I whispered before I could stop myself. Even if he weren't a vamp, I had obligations that didn't leave much room for a lover in my life.
"And that is?"
I shook my head not caring that he couldn't see it. "It's irrelevant. What I want—"
"No it's not, Eliza," he insisted.
I took a slow deep breath to calm down a little before I continued. "I will make the effort for us to get to know each other," I said firmly, "but don't expect me to act as if the last nineteen years haven't happened. A lot has changed."
"As I said, baby," he replied coolly, "things change. I do not expect you to act as if the last nineteen have not happened, but things have changed. I am not the same person you knew, and I may never be. But I am who I am. It is up to you to decide what you wish to make of that."
"Well, I believe we'll have two weeks to find out, won't we?" I said wryly. At one time I would have been thrilled to have Mac back in my life regardless of what he was. Now I wasn't so sure.
"Yes," he agreed. "Oh, Brenda gave me a message for you."
"Oh, really?"
"She needs to speak with you about travel arrangements," he told me.
"Lovely," I murmured.
"Is there a problem?"
"Well," I said slowly, "I've had a few dealings with her in the last few weeks, I'm afraid she doesn't like me very much."
"Brenda does not like me either," he admitted. "Welcome to the family."
"Yeah." His words cut me to the bone. If we hadn't been attacked that night, the three of us would have been a real family all these years. "I'll call her," I told him in a low voice.
"Thank you," he replied. "I will call again when I have landed in LA."
"Yes," I said, my heart jumping at the knowledge that I'd hear from him soon. "I'll change my answering machine."
"Thank you."
He seemed honestly grateful for my help; it made me feel guilty about not wanting to go with him. "I'll be ready for you," I told him.
"I hope so." He hung up the phone without waiting for my reply. It reminded of how little he'd changed.
I don't know how long I had stared at the phone when I shook myself and reached for it again. I called Brenda, but she immediately asked me to wait a minute. I could hear muffled conversation in the background while I waited impatiently for her to return.
"Welcome to Thompson Travel, how can I help you?" she said dryly when she came back to the phone.
"Thompson Travel?" I asked in surprise. "What, you got a sideline going on?"
"Well no," she told me, "but apparently you do. I need some information for travel arrangements from you. I was just speaking to Cormac Brennan and apparently you will be travelling to Europe with him?"
"Why should I not be surprised that you're involved?" She seemed to have her fingers in everything.
"You'll be surprised at the amount of information somebody needs when they're footing the bill," she murmured.
After a moment of stunned silence, I asked, "How did you get roped into that?"
"Lets just say that the knowledge he may come up with may be beneficial to my sister," she said softly, "so it is important to me that he gets there. I need to know your passport number."
"Passport number?" Passports have numbers? I'd never even seen one to know. "I don't have a passport," I admitted.
"Oh great," she mumbled. "I'll need you to be available for a photo, then. Be at Caine Security in the morning and we'll get that taken care of."
"That's not a problem, I can do that," I said. "I'll call them in the morning for the time and I'll make it, somehow." I didn't know how I would get away from St. Stephen's, but I would find a way.
"If you need a car, I'll send one," she told me.
"No, that's not the problem." I didn't explain.
"Perhaps Rafe can help you if it comes down to that," she suggested.
"Your boy-toy?" Her ghoul. Like I wanted his help.
"What does that have to do with anything?" she asked.
"I'll find my own ride, thank you." I stayed as far away from the Kindred ghouls as I possibly could. I had learned from Linda just how very cruel ghouls could be.
"So you will be there in the morning and they will take care of things," she confirmed.
"Fine," I replied.
When she said goodbye I hung the phone up and with one last glance around the nearly bare apartment I left, locking the door behind me. I drove back to St. Stephen's not really paying attention to my surroundings. When I got there, Gerome was waiting.
"Want to head down to The Coven?" he asked. It was a coffee shop that all of us at St. Stephen's frequented because it was pretty much clear of vamps and werewolves.
"I'm not really in the mood, Gerome," I told him. "I need to talk to Charity, anyway."
"I'll wait," he replied as I walked past him.
I knocked on Charity's office door, and at her call I went in. Charity was in her mid-forties, and it amused me that I was older than she was but looked much younger. It hit me suddenly that I wouldn't be of use to the Tremere for much longer, sooner or later someone was bound to notice that I wasn't getting any older.
"What can I do for you, Eliza?" Charity asked me. Charity was her name, but not her nature. She was a hard, cold woman, and she hated all preternatural creatures to an extreme.
"I need to take a couple of weeks off," I told her. "I have a family emergency that just came up and I can't get out of it."
"I wasn't aware you had family, dear," she murmured, watching my face intently.
My expression didn't change. "It's a cousin I thought was dead, Charity," I said calmly. "He needs… tending to. It's a personal matter."
"I see." She opened her planner and looked down at it through her reading glasses. "And when did you plan on leaving?"
"I'm not sure," I admitted. "I'm waiting for additional information, but I should have it by the middle of next week."
"Personal matters of this sort are not usually condoned by the Society, Eliza," she reminded me.
I hid a sigh of relief that she'd assumed I would be hunting my embraced cousin. "I have always done my best for the Society, Charity," I reminded her. "I bring in information that leads to kills, and I am always among the first to draw blood. Would you deny me the right to bring this matter to an end?"
She gave me a small smile. "It is because of your skill that I worry about your return, dear."
"I can promise you that I will return," I told her. My contract with the Tremere demanded it.
"You can promise all you like, Eliza," she said. "That does not mean you will return."
I smiled grimly. "I will return," I repeated. I haven't milked the Tremere out of enough money yet to set Corrine up for life. Plus if I died, her safety was no longer guaranteed.
She studied the certainty on my face for several minutes before nodding. "You will have two weeks starting sundown on Tuesday," she finally replied. "However, there are a few things I'd like you to do for me before you go."
I listened in alarm as she detailed numerous projects she wanted me to check into or finish before Tuesday night. When she was done, I gave a mental shrug and told myself that at least I'd be too busy to dwell on Cormac being back in my life.
When I rejoined Gerome, I agreed to go to The Coven with him only because one of the 'projects' she wanted me to check on worked there. We went out to his car and he drove toward the coffee shop. A few blocks away from St. Stephens, I was shocked to see Cormac walking down the sidewalk.
Gerome didn't seem to notice him, but I sure did. I stared at him in disbelief as we drove by, and he just kept walking as if oblivious to us. He had the old Mac's audacity, I had to give him that. No other vamp I knew had the balls to walk down the same street St. Stephen's was on. I shook my head and turned my attention to the hunt.
I was so busy the next two days that I almost missed my standing Sunday night dinner with Corrine. I had to run to my apartment to get Mac's book for her, but because I was running late, I didn't stop to check my messages. I pulled the van into the parking lot of her building a few minutes after seven, more than half an hour late.
"I was worried that you weren't going to make it," she told me when she greeted me at the door. "I called your apartment, but obviously you weren't there."
"I came as soon as I could," I replied, taking off my jacket and laying it on top of the bag I'd brought in with me. "I got tied up."
We sat down to dinner and chatted through it. Corrine asked me about Cormac, but I wasn't sure what to tell her. In the end, I said only that we'd known each other a long time ago. She didn't press me for information, I think she was used to my evasive answers to her questions about my past.
The food was very good, Corrine is an excellent cook, quite unlike myself. I didn't eat much of it only because I couldn't seem to find my appetite. When I thought about it, I realized that I hadn't eaten all day. I tried to make the effort to eat, but couldn't force much of it down. Corrine watched me play with my food, but surprisingly didn't say a word.
Later, I retrieved the bag and asked her to sit on the couch with me. "Luv," I began carefully, "do you remember what we talked about the other day?"
"My dreams?" she asked.
"Yes." I smiled and took the large book out of the bag. I sat it on the low table in front of us and touched the leather cover reverently. "This is a very old book," I told her. "It belonged to a close friend of mine. I'd like you to have it, luv. It may help you understand your dreams better."
She pulled the book closer to her carefully opened the cover. "The True Power Within," she read. "This must be very old, the pages are handwritten!"
"It is." Mac's family had passed this book down through the generations to each Awakening mage. I felt it was fitting that Corrine have it now.
"Whose was it, Eliza?" she asked, her eyes still on the book.
"Just a friend. He used to study it at night. He always burned a yellow candle when he read it," I continued with a sad smile, pulling a tall thick yellow candle from the bag. "He said that yellow was a color of power and memory, and it helped him to concentrate." I could barely stop my voice from shaking and I cleared my throat. "I think he would be happy that I've given it to you."
She gave me a quick hug and went to find a match to light the candle. I stared at the book while she was gone, remembering the nights when Mac had studied the volume, the nights we'd spent wrapped in each other's arms.
"Eliza?"
Corrine's voice cut through my memories and I looked up at her.
"Are you all right?" she asked softly.
"Yeah," I said, shaking my head to clear it. "Look, I've got to go. I have a few things I have to do tonight."
"You seem kind of down," she commented. "Are you sure there's no problem?"
I smiled and patted her hand. "I'm fine, luv. I just have a few things on my mind tonight." I stood. "Enjoy the book, I think it will help you. If it doesn't, let me know, I might know someone else who can answer your questions."
"Do you have to go so soon?" she asked. It was barely eight-thirty, and usually I stayed until almost ten.
"Yeah," I told her. "I have some things to do for St. Stephen's tonight. I'm going out of town for a couple of weeks, and I have to finish some projects before I go."
"Where are you going?"
"A friend asked me to return something to him," I said evasively. "I'll be missing our dinners, luv, but I'll call you, promise."
"Send me a post card?" she asked with a smile. I had gone out of town many times before; my erratic absences were another thing she was used to.
A few minutes later we hugged and said our good nights. Soon I was back on assignment, hunting and killing supernatural creatures so that I could help my undead ex-lover find his memory. Something felt very wrong about even thinking that way, so I tried to put Cormac out of my mind and concentrated on my work.
Monday I spent in Gloucester checking into rumors of women who flew around the town at night. One of the other girls went with me, and we spent the entire day as well as most of the night following that particular wild goose chase.
I called Kate from a pay phone to check in while Aislynn was in the restroom. To say that she was very upset that I hadn't called earlier was putting it mildly. She warned me that I had to stay in touch, something I already knew. She didn't like that I was going to leave town with Cormac for two weeks, but I ignored her tirade and hung up on her.
Aislynn and I returned to St. Stephen's around three that morning and fell into bed and an exhausted sleep that didn't last nearly long enough. I woke at the crack of dawn wondering if Cormac had returned to Salem. I managed to eat half a piece of toast before leaving the church.
Tuesday afternoon found me with Gerome at one of the local bookstores. We were sitting in the café sipping coffee when a tall muscular man walked in. I could tell right away he was a werewolf, but it took Gerome several minutes before he realized the fact.
We followed the guy when he left, walking east on the main strip. The wolf boy turned in to one of the parks, and Gerome insisted that the two of us could take him. I hate hunting Garou, but didn't really have a choice if I wanted to keep my cover at St. Stephen's.
Ten minutes later I was wishing I'd insisted on calling for back up. We managed to take care of the situation, but just barely. Fortunately for me, I'd learned a long time ago how to fight Garou. Unfortunately for Gerome, he was unconscious at the end and didn't get to see the show.
Another unfortunate result of the battle with the werewolf was that he'd caught me with his claws. The blow had snapped the necklace I always wore, the one with my engagement ring on it. It took me a long time to find the ring and by the time I did I was tired and sore.
As the sun set, I pulled into the parking lot behind St. Stephen's and left Gerome in the back of his car. He wasn't hurt too badly, just enough to keep him unconscious for another hour or so. It was just as well; I probably would have decked him if he'd woken up. I got into the van and left without going inside, my bag was already in the back. I drove to the apartment to sew myself up and take a shower.