Title: He was never mine chapter 3
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just playing with them
Author's Notes: I really need to thank Black Purple Roses for her help and patience. Apart from her beta skills, she also needs to be praised for giving me the courage to finally post that story I've been working on for so long.
Synopsis: Nearly ten years after leaving high school, Lyla reflects upon Tim and how he found his match in Julie. Told through Lyla's POV, with some flashbacks.

Reviews are love....

"I shouldn't have held my breath" Lyla said, bitterly.

"Did things go sour from there?" Holly asked. "Did he ever ask you to come with him to the Taylors?"

"Except from maybe two occasions when the whole town gathered there for some pre-game celebrations, I never stepped into that house again as Tim's girlfriend. I've been there a couple of times, but we were over and had been for some time. We stayed together almost three months after the dinner at the Taylors. It felt a little weird, because when he had been with his first steady girlfriend, he had trouble with monogamy, they kept fooling around with others. With me, he was faithful, sexually at least. Emotionally, he had a mistress, the whole Taylor clan, but I couldn't complain about it, I had agreed to that situation, hoping that he would either dump them or open up to me completely.

"Anyway, now I knew about how close he was to the Coach's family, we settled into a new, more honest routine. Church and radio station for me, football and his new family for him. The rest of the time we could be together. However, knowing that he was eligible for an A&M scholarship, I started monitoring, in what I hoped was a discrete fashion, his grades. They were mostly good, especially his English one. I guess brain storming with Julie was really paying off, because he had never had so high grades, even when the Rally girls were doing his homework for him. I remember being awestruck one day, after we had just had sex, when I spotted two books he had borrowed from the library on his desk. Reading had never been his hobby. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't an idiot, but he had been raised to believe that only football and a sport scholarship would prevent him from becoming some lame hillbilly, like his father. I even remember the titles from those books, there was 'The Lost World' by Arthur Conan Doyle, and 'A Prayer For Owen Meany' by John Irving. The first one I knew and seemed like a good read for him, but I didn't know much about the second one. I tried to engage in some conversation on that one, he told me it was the story about a friendship between two guys, that it dealt with the Vietnam War and other topics. He told me that it was making him realize all the things he had done wrong with Jay. I felt like we had made a great jump forward in our relationship, he was finally sharing, but then we made an even bigger step backwards when he saw my amazed expression."

Flashback

"I can read, you know, it's not a fucking miracle" he exclaimed, jumping off the bed and grabbing his pants, putting them on hastily.

He started roaming the small bedroom looking for the rest of his clothes, his gait and grasps at his clothes exhibiting his anger. Lyla held the sheet to her chest, trying to find the words that would appease him. He had made his way to his desk and gotten a hold of the books. He slammed them down virulently on top of his schoolbooks.

"You know, most of the time, I really hate this town," he said, his eyes enraged. "I'm a Riggins. Just 'one of those Riggins boys'. Somehow, that means I can't do anything but play football. I may not be the brightest bulb or however they say that shit, but I'm not stupid. There is no apocalypse if I step into the town library."

"I never said that!" Lyla exclaimed.

"But you're acting like it. The librarian did too. She tried to lead me to the teen and kid fiction section, can you believe it? I'm sure you can. This town is like a poison. When you try to change the way you define yourself, it makes you feel like the lowliest piece of shit that has ever walked its streets. I had to ask Julie to pick the books in her name because I couldn't stand the idea of going back there."

"Julie went to get the books?" Lyla asked, noticing the way Tim's fury had seemed to diminish when he had mentioned the girl's name.

"Yeah, she did. She never gave me the fish look you were just giving me. She was the one that suggested the Irving book, after I told her that I had been able to relate to 'Of Mices and Men'. She looked even pleased that I would reach out of my comfort zone. So yes, she was the one I trusted to get the books for me."

"I didn't know…"

"Of course you didn't, you never bothered. I think you should get dressed, your mom is going to be waiting for you," he said, looking at something above her head.

"Please Tim, don't be like that!" She pleaded, throwing herself at him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm …"

End Flashback

"It took me quite some time but he didn't throw me out in the end. I just had to beg and apologize over and over again until he relented. But ever since, there was a ridge between us. The next day, when I went back to his place, he had hidden the books in his night table. He just didn't want me to see them, or him reading; I hated Dillon then, even more than I thought was possible. I tried to talk to him a couple of times about books I thought he would enjoy, but he wasn't listening. I know he kept on reading because of a few times he let it slip, like the time when we went to the video store to get a movie, and I took this one that seemed nice, 'The House Cider Rules'.

Flashback

"How about this one?" Lyla asked, showing a box with Tobey Maguire on it. It seems nice, plus it has Charlize Theron in it. You love her."

"You won't like it," he said with assurance. "How about a good old fashioned horror movie?"

"Why wouldn't I like it?"

"It deals with abortion. It's about a doctor who struggles with the idea of giving abortion, but ends up giving it anyway because there are some women who have good reasons to terminate their pregnancies and you can't discriminate against those that need such a procedure than those who don't. If the movie follows the book, it will be the most prominent theme, and last time I checked, you Christians weren't big fans of abortion."

"Have you seen it already? How do you know the plot so well?"

"I read the book some time ago," he said, non committedly. "It's the same writer as 'Owen Meany'."

Lyla could barely hold back her surprise and rising anger, just managing not asking whether it had been a Julie Taylor's recommendation.

End Flashback

"But in the end, I decided not to pry. I thought that since he was reading, something the Tim Riggins from the first time around would never have done, I could let it slide. It was like there were two versions of him, Tim A when Jay got injured, and Tim B. The same could be said about me, I had changed a great deal since our first tryst. I kinda liked the new and improved version of Tim. Sure, I also missed the comfort of having a general idea of what was going through his mind like when we we're hiding, but the new Tim was responsible, full of surprises. He always kept me guessing. I believe it made me fall even more in love with him. I was in pretty deep and I kept sinking in even further. We had our rocky times, but most of the time, he was a great boyfriend. He wasn't the kind to lavish me with gifts, it was more about gesture, like letting me borrow his truck. That old piece of machine was his baby, so it was a huge way to show his commitment."

Lyla grimaced briefly at some thought but went back to her straight face, hoping her friend wouldn't notice. Except she had.

"What was that? You looked like you were suffering from acid reflux for a moment," Holly commented.

"It was just a thought. You're going to think I'm petty or something, because it's so silly."

"Come on, do I need to beat it out of you?"

"It's just that, well… did I tell you that the Panthers won the State Championship?"

"Yeah. I think I have the chronology down: 2nd year of high school, Jason gets injured, you and Tim fool around and the Panthers win State. A little before junior year ended, you found God and Tim tried to win you back. You got together a little before your last year of high school."

"Wow, the way you summed it up made it seem so innocent, and carefree… But yeah, that's how it happened, overall. When they won State, the Panthers got, among other things, a gold ring. It's a massive manly thing, like the Superbowl winner rings. The players would give their ring to their girlfriend, it was thought of as a romantic gesture, even though the ring had to be heavier than a newborn baby. Girls would show off the ring, even a year after State had been won. Sometimes, it got a little ridiculous when some players would change girlfriends more often than they changed socks and kept offering their ring as a token to the flavor of the week. Hence some rings stopped being a commitment proof while other rings had a deeper meaning. It was almost binding for some, like an engagement ring. I know that a short time before they broke up, Matt Saracen had tried giving Julie Taylor his ring, but she refused to have it. It was common knowledge that they broke up because he was too committed to their relationship and she was afraid they were going to turn into her parents, so it made sense that she wouldn't want to wear his State Championship ring. She pretended she didn't want it because she hated football but knowing the outcome, you can safely guess it was a commitment issue."

"Tim was right, you know?" Holly said. "You really are a gossip, no matter what you would like to believe…"

"Hush now. Besides, at least it's something I can ask penance for when I go to confession."

"So, the State ring?…"

"Well, Tim wore his religiously. It was his most prized possession. A few months after we got together, he stopped wearing it. All the girls at school would look at my hands, to see if he had given it to me. Since their looks were weirding me out, I asked them about their sudden interest for my hands. They told me about Tim not wearing his ring, I told them that I didn't know why. They started thinking that he was planning some kind of setting before offering it to me… They were so excited, one would have thought he was going to propose… And though I didn't want to, I started getting excited at the prospect of Tim offering his ring to me. He didn't. A week later or so, the ring reappeared on his hand. I was majorly disappointed, and I hated myself for that. The same girls cornered me during gym to ask me if I had pulled a Julie Taylor and refused it. I hadn't, I told them. I remember hearing somebody snickering as I answered. It was Tyra. Julie was with her, but she looked sorry for me. She tugged on Tyra's sleeve, told her a few things and they both went away, Tyra's arm around Julie's shoulders. Remember that conversation about Tyra I had had at the Taylors'?" Holly nodded. "Well, it went through my mind as I watched them walk away. If Julie hadn't been there, I'm pretty sure Tyra and I would've fought or had a yelling match or something." Lyla shook her head. "Anyway...Not the point. I told the inquiring girls that I had no clue about what was the deal about Tim's ring but also insisting that I didn't care, which was bullshit.

"Julie Taylor later came to see me and explained in that annoyingly sweet tone of hers that Tim had lent his ring to Gracie the week before. Apparently, she had liked its shine and had wanted to keep it for one of her bears to wear, and she forgot to give it back. He had just gotten it back the night before when he had come over for dinner. What really broke my heart was when she said: "Tyra doesn't believe that Tim would ever give you his ring, but if you want it, maybe Mom and I can start dropping hints when we see Tim." A part of me had always known that I would never be wearing Tim's State ring, but it still pained me to hear a girl that he hadn't known for even two years to make an offer like that just because I wanted his ring. It was nothing personal, I just had this feeling…"

"Like you were the lawful wife and that the Taylor family was the powerful mistress, the one that had the most power in the end on the guy you were dating," Holly finished for her. "Every woman on Earth will date at some point a guy that she really likes but he's in a whole other world with his family and friends. It's an annoying fact of life. Except that most the time, the family and/or friend won't be offering to help make your relationship stronger. I can tell it's worse than just undermining your influence."

"It really was. I kept telling myself that they were making my life easier by telling Tim what to do and what not, but I really was craving to be the one he went to when he was in trouble or just needing some advise. He didn't even come to me for the simplest things, like homework. We had a monster fight over school work once, and we almost broke up over it. I can't help but think that it took some more Taylors' meddling for us to stay an item."