Title: He was never mine chapter 5/?
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just playing with them
Author's Notes: I really need to thank Black Purple Roses for her help and patience.
Synopsis: Nearly ten years after leaving high school, Lyla reflects upon Tim and how he found his match in Julie. Told through Lyla's POV, with some flashbacks.
Here comes a scene a lot of you have been waiting for…. As my beta could attest, I add trouble with it, and I was worried it wasn't true to character enough… Let me know what you thought of it!
Chapter 5
"I have a question, before you get to the next part of your confession," Holly said.
"Go ahead."
She grabbed the laptop that had been discarded what felt like hours ago, switched it back on and put it in front of the couch. The navigator was still open on one of the pictures which had prompted Lyla's break down. The scene was set in what had to be the Taylors' garden, and it showed Tabby and a boy who didn't look a day over 18, holding hands, next to another couple at a table. Tim Riggins was standing next to a blonde woman that was clearly laughing at him, and he was playing with a strand of her hair. The four of them were grinning at the camera.
"So," Holly started, pointing out to the screen. "That's your sister Tabby, right? The guy is her boyfriend…"
"Fiancé, Bo, but yes," Lyla said with a proud smile on her face.
"Am I wrong in assuming that the blonde is Julie Taylor?"
"No, you're right. That's Julie. You saw it coming, huh?"
"Well, from what you told me, he bonded with all the Taylors, but she's the one he turned to for his homework and stuff. You told me she offered to talk to him for you, which means that they must have had some kind of serious friendship going on… It was pretty safe to assume it was her in the picture. But please, go on…"
Lyla took a deep breath, staring at the picture on the computer, then proceeded:
"Officially, we were still together, and nobody at school was none the wiser about how rocky our relationship was becoming, well, except for the Taylors and Tyra. Behaving like the perfect couple at school was not an issue, but after each day was done, it was like all the tension would rise again, when the bell rang. I was feeling less and less motivated to fight for us, and it felt weird since not a week prior, I was convinced we were going to make it. Just a few days after that, I felt like I should savor every instant I spent with him because our days were numbered as a couple. Yet, I couldn't really enjoy said time together, because I was starting to resent him for constantly choosing his new family over me.
We broke up on a Wednesday night. I wanted him to come to my brother's birthday party the next night, but he wanted to go to the Coach's as every Thursday.
Flashback
"I wish I could, but you know I can't cancel my engagement," Tim said, staring at his glass so as not to meet her stare.
He had been unconsciously avoiding looking in her eyes for a couple of days, and she was passed feeling pissed about it.
"No I don't," she said. "I believe you could cancel dinner night at the Taylors', I'm sure they would understand, but I know you won't."
"If you know I won't, then why bother bringing it up?"
"I don't know. I just hoped that for once, you would choose to be with me," she said, coming to stand in front of him with her clenched hands on her hips. "It's not the worst thing I would ask of you. I just want you there, with me, when my mother and her new beau will have my father over to celebrate Lil Buddy's birthday. It's going to be extremely awkward, and messy, and I really would appreciate it if you were to show up and support me for once. I do stuff for you, I show up to your games, can't you do something in return for me?"
He finally raised his head to meet her eyes, but what she there was the opposite of what she was hoping to see. He rose from his seat, and came to stand next to her, leaning on the kitchen's countertop. After an excruciating silence that couldn't have been longer than a few seconds, he said:
"It's not working anymore, is it?"
She lowered her head in defeat before nodding, starting to cry in silence.
"You haven't been happy for a long time," he continued, crossing his arms on his chest. "I know it, I haven't been either."
"If you could tell, then why didn't you say or do anything before?" she asked with resentment.
"I guess I was hoping it would resolve itself, that we would be happy together again after some time. I'm not expert at that relationship thing, so I thought it could be normal. But now it feels obvious that it won't get better. It's not just one of those rough patches they tell you about."
"No, it isn't. God!" she exclaimed before putting her face in her hands, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I can't believe this is happening."
If she had hoped he would concur, she would have been disappointed and hurt by his non committal shrug, but she had become used to this Tim. She reached for the tissue box she knew her mother was keeping there and wiped her face.
"So, this is it? We're done?" she asked.
"I guess. I'm sorry I hurt you, Lyla. I didn't mean to, or want to."
"Aren't you at least a little sad?" she asked, resenting his straight face.
"I am. I really am," he said, trying to comfort her by awkwardly patting her arm. "But I kinda saw it coming. It felt extremely clear last Sunday, and I've been coping, but don't believe for a second I'm not hurt. I really cared for you, and I guess I always will, but we're no good together."
"I can't refute that," Lyla said with renewed tears when it registered he was only talking about caring, not loving. "Can I ask you, without intruding, what happened last Sunday?"
"I went for a tour on the A&M campus. They wanted to show me around and everything. The Coach came with me. It was a random realization, but I knew we were on the last rope when I asked the Coach for his cellphone and it was Julie's number I dialed to share the experience. I should have wanted to call you, but I didn't, and I'm sorry."
"Julie, huh?" She couldn't help but snort. "You didn't even tell me you were being given the grand tour. I wish you had. Even if you hadn't wanted me to be here, I could have given you tips. I went with Jason a couple of years ago, when they were courting him, I would have known what questions to ask. But let's not linger on that. Why Julie? I'm almost surprised she didn't go with you."
He looked uncomfortable before answering:
"She was supposed to. The plan was for me to go there with the Coach and Jules, but she thought you should be the one there. Both Mrs T. and her tried to get me to ask you to come along, but we had been having problems for too long and I just didn't feel like complying.
"You know, in case you wake up one day and ask yourself whatever went wrong in our relationship, just think really hard about what you just said. It's a perfect demonstration of everything that went wrong with us," she said with rage.
"You're being unfair. The Taylors have been nothing but supportive of us."
"Yeah? Well it shouldn't have mattered that much."
"I'm sorry, but weren't you the one who said that you understood me being close to them? Or was that just a lie?" he asked, his temper flaring.
"I was sincere, but I also know now that I was deluding myself. I thought that they were just a phase, that once we got together and were comfortable, you would confide in me, that you wouldn't need them as much. And look where we are now… I was the phase, they're the permanent thing."
"I'm not going to apologize for finding a place where I finally fucking belong," he growled.
"Language!" She exclaimed, hoping that her siblings wouldn't come back home anytime soon.
"See, that's what I'm talking about. We had other problem than me being friends with Julie. You should know by now that I am not polite or proper. I'm not Jason Street, Lyla, so will you stop trying to compare us?"
She blushed, realizing that he had noticed it too.
"I never meant to do that," she said.
"Yet you did. You keep waiting me for to pour my heart out, because Jay did. You want me to confide in you and trust you, and when I tried, you made fun of me."
"When? I don't remember you ever telling something remotely personal that you wouldn't tell anybody else. "
"I told you I dreamt about buying a restaurant, and you laughed like a hyena!"
"I thought you weren't serious. You don't cook!"
"Yes I do! And that's exactly my point. I'm not talking about opening a grand restaurant and become a famous chef, I was just talking about a dream, and you made fun of it. I'm sorry but we can't all dream about world peace and kittens, Lyla. I don't know if Jay had the kind of dream that made you proud, but mine are just this simple."
"How was I supposed to know you were serious? You never tell me anything!"
"With good reasons."
"I'm sorry I made fun of your idea, but you have to admit that you didn't let me in at all. You only open up to those surnamed Taylor. I'm sure Gracie knows more about your dreams hope and aspirations than I do!"
"Don't even…. Leave the Taylors and Gracie out of this!" he said with fury.
He started rubbing his temples, trying to get control back over his temper.
"It doesn't matter anymore," he finally said. "We're over."
End Flashback
"He then got out of my house like he couldn't stand being next to me for even a few seconds longer. I cried most of the night, wondering if he had gone back to his house or if he had gone straight to the Taylors, to lick his wounds under their benevolent eyes."
"Did he go there?" Holly asked.
"I don't know for sure, but I can only assume. How many times did either of us mention one of the Taylors during our break-up? It still feels like he would have gone there. I was completely heartbroken of course, but I was also majorly pissed. I got myself so worked up that night, dreading the pity I would meet in everybody's eyes the next day at school, I was enraged when I went there. If people hadn't heard that we were over, just one look in my direction was a dead give-away. I was broadcasting our break up louder than I could have feared. I walked down the corridors and pretended I didn't see him. I did so for about a week. And Buddy's birthday party, well that was pure torture. I didn't want my parents to know that Tim had dumped me, but I kept clenching and becoming so angry each time his name was mentioned… At school, I kept turning my head rather than lay my eyes on him. I remembered about people telling us that we would have beautiful babies one day together, and I was just irate. I was so pissed, I was that close to punching Julie whenever I saw her."
"Poor girl," Holly commented.
"You know, if I had attacked her, I'm not sure I would have had the upper hand for long, so let's not feel sorry too much for her."
"How do you reckon?"
"I did Powderpuff twice, and each time Julie was in the opposite camp. She was pretty enthusiastic when it came to taking other girls down. Kinda scary. But then again, her father was the Coach, football ran through her veins or something."
Holly agreed silently and gestured for Lyla to get back to her story.
"Anyway, I stayed a bitch for some time. Each time I met any of the Taylors, I wanted to yell at them, but I was just looking for something to focus on and not give in to the pain. The anger drove me until I couldn't escape just how heartbroken I felt. I didn't last long and then I succumbed to sadness. The next week, I called Tim and we set a date to give each other back everything the other had given. Neither of our boxes were full, just more proof of how weak our relationship had been, but I wanted to return a shirt he had lent me to wear. The temptation was becoming too great each night to slip it on and cry my heart and eyes out, surrounded by his smell. So I gave it back. He returned a few minor things I had left at his place. He said once more that he was sorry for hurting me, but this time, I was willing to admit that we had both been to blame for the failure of our relationship. I will always remember our partying words."
Flashback
"I'm sorry I wanted you to be like Jason," Lyla said.
"And I'm sorry I wished you were Julie Taylor."
End Flashback
"After that, I was less angry and more depressed. The others students may not have noticed it, but I could see Julie and Tim getting closer every day."
"How long did they wait before going out?" Holly asked.
"Longer than I would have thought. It was a gradual thing, but a few days before Tim's graduation, they were a couple for good, much to Dillon's dismay and horror."
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