Title: He was Never Mine Chapter 7/?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just playing with the character.

Once more, many thanks to my beta reader, Black Purple roses who always does a kick-ass job at making me want to post more…

Special thaks to Sanderia who gave me the name of Jason's son…

Author's note: Once upon a time, I got 9 reviews for a chapter, and it gave me a high for several days… So please leave a word and make my day…Beside, this chapter is longer than my average chapter, let me know if it was worth it…

Chapter 7

"As I already mentioned, the Panthers didn't make it to State Finals that year. They hadn't either the previous year, but it was acceptable since the Coach had quit for a few months then come back. During my last year of high school, there was more pressure. Everything felt like we could make it again that year, except they didn't. By the end of March, we knew we wouldn't be finalists or semi-finalists. It was a gloomy time, for the players but also for the entire town. It wasn't that we had been playing badly, it was just that we were still recovering from the consequences of the previous year's debacle. Ramifications ran farther than we had thought. Furthermore, some of our finest players were suspended for a couple of games, always at the most inconvenient time. I remember the game in late March when it doomed on everybody that Dillon wouldn't go anywhere near State. It was a decent game, but it lacked some spark, a little extra that would have kept the hope alive.

"I was trying to bond more with my father, knowing that I was going to go away at the end of the school year. He wasn't pleased with my plans, but he went along. I think the previous years had seen too many changes to his liking, and he had thought that if he didn't make too much of a fuss, maybe it would go smoothly. Anyway, we went together to that particular game. By the end of it he was utterly crushed, but he was also worried about the way Santiago would live this failure. He was afraid it was going to take a toll on him or something. Anyway, we waited for him outside the locker-rooms, in the parking lot. The Taylor women were there, all three of them, with Tyra. My father tried to chit-chat lightly with Tami, but his heart wasn't in it, so he gave up and just kept silent. We were all waiting for the team to come out.

Flashback

The semi-silence was awkward, but the conversation would have taken it to a whole new level. Julie and Tyra were holding hands, sometimes exchanging pointed looks or a few ushered words. Gracie was fussing a little.

Lyla stood next to Buddy, who was shaking his head from time to time, having a silent conversation with himself. She wasn't sure she belonged there, in that small crowd. She barely knew Santiago, and the football player she knew the most and would have sympathized with had his complete support team there waiting for him. Tonight though, she had committed herself to spending the evening with Buddy, and she intended to stick to her end of the bargain. Trailing her eyes on the Taylors and Tyra, she couldn't help but think that if Jackie had been there, all the ladies Tim Riggins had loved or had been romantically involved with would be present. She cringed when she realized that even his future love was there, with Julie.

When the team and crew finally emerged from the building, the tension broke, replaced with disappointment and regrets. Tyra quickly made her way quickly to Landry who was chatting grimly with Matt and Smash. The Quarterback looked at Julie with hope but got a sour expression on his face when the blonde barely acknowledged his presence. When Tim got out, wearing his shoulders down like he was carrying the weight of the world there, she flew to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, talking in a low voice that Lyla couldn't make out. Mrs Taylor went to her husband who was just a few steps behind the Fullback. Once more, Lyla was oddly reminded of a war movie, where women were getting back their husbands after a long campaign. There was tears and emotions, the kind that most movies couldn't render. The players' families were waiting a little farther away. But if they were the faithful wives waiting for their brave husbands' return, then who was she? She felt like she was intruding once more, utterly out of place.

Her father had gotten to Santiago and was proceeding to cheer him up, which couldn't be easy since Buddy was just as disappointed as the players about the State Championship. She was standing alone, next to a car that wasn't even her own, and she wished she was already in India where the Church had promised to assign her. With masochistic attention, she noticed the way Tim had buried his head in the crook of Julie's neck and seemed to want to become part of her. She saw the way his arms found their way around her shoulders and waist, the way he was rubbing her back. She saw the girl's eyes shine with tears she wasn't willing to shed, and the brunette briefly wished she could look half as noble and dignified when holding back her own tears. She saw them reluctantly leave each other's arms and just hold hands when the Coach made his way to them. She saw everything, the way Mr Taylor's eyes fell briefly on their joined hands, looking barely startled by their proximity. She also saw how Mrs Taylor didn't seem to mind her daughter's and the Fullback closeness. They all started going back to their car, and when they passed in front of her without noticing she was there, she heard a fragment of their conversation.

"Are we all going back home?" Tami asked.

Julie looked at Tim meaningfully before answering:

"I thought we could go at Jason's for a little while. He couldn't come to the game because he's watching Aaron on his own. We could go check on them. Besides, you want to see your Godson, don't you? It will cheer you up."

Tim nodded.

Their voices started fading out. Lyla had heard that Jason had asked him to be Godfather, even though everybody was expecting him to choose Herc for that honour. Tim had been moved and the two boys were working really hard on rebuilding their friendship.

Jason had actually come to see her when they were preparing the baby's baptism. He had wanted to make sure that it wouldn't be too awkward for her to attend.

"We used to think we would have kids together, you know, so I don't want you feeling weird."

She had assured him that she wouldn't feel weird and that she would be happy to attend the celebration and she thanked him for his thoughtfulness. What she didn't tell him was that right then, his worries had been unnecessary since she was too busy grieving the future she had hoped to have with Tim and that in her heart, he was still the only man she wanted to have a future with.

In the end, the baptism had been utter torture for her for other reasons than the ones Jason had thought about. Tim was there and didn't talk to her at all. She was still persuaded that he hadn't even noticed she was attending too. She just never stood a chance: she wasn't sure whether he had brought Julie as his date or if she had been invited with her family to the Baptism, but when he wasn't taking part of the ritual, he was staring at Julie. When he held the baby, he couldn't help but glance at Julie with a proud smile.

A reception had been organized so they spent the rest of the day together, almost glued to each other's side, even when Tim was interacting with Jason and Erin or the rest of the town. This time, the Dillon people started to notice just how close the two teenagers were, but when they saw that neither the Coach nor his wife had a problem with that, they held their tongue. As a result, Lyla spent the whole day suffering in silence; enduring the way people would stare at her after watching the happy couple, like they were waiting for her to break down, either because her first love had become a family man or because her second one was so cosy to the Taylor girl. She kept a fake smile plastered on her face, but she could tell nobody was fooled by it.

When the Baptism had ended, Lyla just wanted to crawl in her bed and never get out.

End Flashback

"The realization that the Panthers were not going to State was a painful one and took some time to mull over. In the mean time, Tim and Julie were joined at the hip. The town was still whispering about them, and I was waiting to see what would happen.

"I did Powderpuff that year again, and Tim coached one of the two teams. Needless to say, he didn't pick me to be on his team, Julie was his first choice. Surprisingly, Tyra was his second. Their team won, and I was left still as depressed but considerably bruised to top it.

"One night, my mother told me that she would be hosting the book club meeting at our place and that she wanted it to be perfect because Mrs. Taylor had promised to show up. I saw an opportunity there, to prevent the Tim and Julie love story to happen. Now that I look back on it, it was well, foolish of me. Anyway, I spent a lot of time with my mom before the meeting and told her about how worried I was for Julie who was being pursued by Tim the womanizer. She was so glad I was talking to her again that she literally drank in my words. I was distorting reality, but I couldn't help myself. I knew I was going to have to ask for penance for my misbehaving.

"When the meeting took place, I stayed in, with my bedroom door open to be able to hear the conversations. My mom had promised that she would try to warn Mrs. Taylor about what was happening with her daughter. Most the night, the women talked about the book of the week, but at some point, the conversation drifted onto other subjects, such as husbands, and family. I was listening very carefully when my mother decided to bring up the Tim and Julie stuff.

Flashback

"Tami, I was wondering about something, if you don't mind me nosing in. How can you feel so good about your daughter's relationship with the Riggins boy?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I don't want to put you on the spot here, but we all know that this boy...isn't picky about what goes in his bed."

"Excuse me!" Tami exclaimed. "How hypocritical… So, it's okay for your daughter to date Tim Riggins, but my baby can't even be friends with him? How dare you!"

Everybody knew how much of a lioness Tami could be, but they still got surprised when she let her anger fuse.

"I'm sorry," Pam started arguing, feeling threatened, "but when he was dating Lyla, she had a good effect on him. He even got a scholarship. But since they broke up, he went back to his previous devious ways…"

"Oh my god! Are you kiddding me? That boy hasn't done such a thing! He's become really mature these past few months. And do you really think that your daughter is solely responsible for that? We took that boy in, we've taken care of him. My family loves him, I think of him as the son I would have been proud to give my husband… You don't know him, but I do, we do. You only know of the prejudice Dillon has against him. I'm sorry your daughter didn't manage to make it work with him, but don't badmouth him. Seriously, women, what is wrong with you all? So my Julie and Tim are getting closer. That's none of your goddamn business. If they get together, I will be proud of them and it still won't be any of your business. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to my family, since this isn't a book club meeting anymore…"

Tami left as fast as humanly possible, fury radiating from her.

Lyla closed the door to her room, tears streaming down her cheeks. She buried her head in her hands and wept. Tim would have been so proud to hear Mrs. Taylor call him her son. How could she have formed such a petty plan? She was such a bad person, not to mention a bad Christian. She would go to Church as soon as possible the next morning to confess her sins.

End Flashback

"Needless to say, my mother was really mad at me. Because of the crap I'd lead her to believe, her meeting had been a disaster and the other club members held her responsible for making Tami quit. So yeah, not my brightest move.

"Just a couple of weeks after that event, and maybe a week before graduation, I received an unforeseen visitor."

Flashback

Dinner had been awkward, once more. Some days, Lyla felt like that word could become the slogan of her life. Her mother hadn't forgotten about the book club disaster and was still staring daggers at her across the table every time she remembered the shame she had endured that night. After she had done the dishes, Lyla made her way to her bedroom when there was a knock on the door.

Since her siblings were in their room upstairs, and her mom and her new husband were too busy cuddling on the couch they hadn't heard it, she went to open the door.

Not gaping was an accomplishment when she saw that Julie Taylor was on her doorstep.

"Good evening, Lyla," the girl said with a certain confidence.

The brunette found herself envying her once more. When she was not jealous of her relationship to certain football player, she would envy the girl's posed behavior, or the way her skin always seemed to glow.

"Julie," she greeted her back. "Do you want to come in?"

"No, thank you, I'll be very quick, Tyra is waiting in the car to drive me home."

"What can I do for you then?" Lyla asked, not quite sure the scene wasn't a dream.

"Tim and I are going public tomorrow. We've been dating for some time and since my parents are being extremely supportive, we decided it was time to let Dillon know, that we didn't need to hide anymore.

Lyla felt like the blonde had kicked her to the plexus, she could barely breathe. She uttered:

"Why are you telling me this?"

"It's just a curtesy. I hated it when I discovered at school that Matt was dating again, it really made me feel like crap. I didn't want you to get the same revelation and discomfort if I could prevent it, you don't deserve it, so I'm letting you know. This way, you'll be able to pretend you knew about it before hand tomorrow at school when stupid nose-browsers will come to pick on you. And we both know they will, this is Dillon after all."

She felt new found respect for the younger girl and nodded. The blonde did the same with solemnity. She could almost forget the girl was just a year younger than she was, she seemed so much more mature at times.

A honk broke their respectful stare and Julie went back to being a 17 years old girl when she ran to Tyra's car (the girl had been growing impatient), saying something like "Later Lyla!".

She closed the door while the blonde jumped in the car. She then proceeded to lock herself in her bedroom, preparing herself for the dreadful day that tomorrow would be at school.

&&&&&&

When she went to DHS the next day, Lyla couldn't help but be thankful for Julie's warning. Gossip traveled fast, and when she stepped in the hall, she could tell everybody knew about her ex and Julie being together from the way people were staring at her. She decided to keep her head high, pretending that the whispers didn't make her slightly paranoid (though it wasn't really paranoia if they were actually out to get you she reasoned). She started avoiding people's stare after reading pity in a couple of glances. She hated pity, especially when she was its target.

She saw Tyra and Landry near his lockers, talking idly about the day to come and the plans they had. When their eyes met, the blonde didn't snark or anything, making everything even more dreadful than it already was. The two girls simply shared a knowing look, and Lyla gulped with anxiety.

Walking down the corridors to get to her classroom, she noticed students and even some teachers were crowding a certain section of the hallway though they all tried their hardest to pretend there was a good reason for them to be there. When she was spotted, whispers got louder and pitiful looks were thrown at her: she could feel them boring in her back and her face, almost worming their way into her heart.

She didn't stop walking, her head still high, trying to look more proud than she felt, but from the corner of her eyes, she saw what was causing the commotion: Tim and Julie were at her locker, chatting in low voices as she emptied her backpack. Lyla couldn't help but slow down her step to see more of their interactions. The blonde got the book she needed for her next class and closed the door. Tim put his arm around her shoulder, then stared defiantly at all the bystanders, either male or female, scrutinizing them, Lyla included. He hugged the girl closer to him and she grabbed his waist, her hand caressing his hip softly as if to appease him.

They started walking, in each other's arm to her class. Lyla turned around to watch them, at the exact time when Tim stooped down to kiss Julie with passion in front of the classroom. The brunette watched with envy as the blonde's hands went immediately to his hair, running her fingers through it with delight. People who didn't know better overlooked Tim's mane, but Lyla, and Julie obviously, knew that it was part of his animalistic magnetism. They also both knew how erogenous it was to him.

When he finally released her, the blonde's cheeks were a little pinker but she was undeniably proud of herself. She ran a hand across his face, oblivious to the people watching, and he leant in her touch. She rose on her toes to kiss his mouth quickly then smiled her 1000 watts-grin at him. He beamed back and they parted ways as the second bell rang. He walked carelessly to his own class as she stepped in the room.

The bell had woken Lyla from her glaze, and she ran her own way. She couldn't help but miss everything: like the fact that she used to be his girl, that she used to be the one allowed to touch his hair, and just missing him plainly in the end.

End Flashback

"It was nice of Julie to warn you," Holly said cautiously.

"It really was. It was already so hard walking down the damn hall knowing why people were staring, it would have been much worse to just discover with the rest of the town that what I had been dreading had indeed happened."

"I then proceeded to block myself completely from the outside world; I didn't even watch them anymore. I have almost no recollection of graduation, and when I look at those pictures, I have trouble believing I was there and actually attended it. I flew to India as soon as possible, where I then busied myself with volunteering, and where I tried to see what I wanted my life to be about. Tim had never been mine, no matter what I had wanted to believe, and Jason was then his son's and Erin's. I needed to figure out who I was, who Lyla was. When I came back for a visit two years later, I had some thinking done, but even today, I still haven't thought everything through."

For the last chapter, I got about three reviews, but I'd like to blame the holidays for that... If you read the parts I posted when you come back from vacation, I'd still love to hear what you thought of it, you know, better late than never...

That made me sound pretty pathetic, uh? But I'm an addict now....