CHAPTER 11b- LAS VEGAS NIGHTS.

Eventually Derek regained his ability to speak, and managed to let go of Meredith long enough to wheel her bag into the room and close the door- just looking at her, making sure she was really there and she wasn't just some figment of his imagination. He watched how she took off her jacket and threw it onto the couch, kicking her shoes off and jumping on the bed, getting comfortable on top of it as she smiled at him, her bangs falling into her eyes as her eyes blinked through the strands of hair. He had wanted her to be there so much, that he almost couldn't believe that she felt that need to be there too.

She smiled wider, raising her eyebrows as if to question him. "So, I fly all the way here on a whim, after a long day at the hospital, and all you can do is stand six feet away from me?" Meredith teased.

He laughed softly, making the one or two strides to the bed, crawling on top of it, pulling Meredith into his arms, just enjoying the feel of her weight in his arms as she let herself completely relax into his embrace. She sighed contentedly, and picked up the remote to the TV, flicking the channels as they sat in silence. There wasn't much they really wanted to say at that moment. They just wanted to enjoy each other being there for a little while.

Derek never would have thought that he would have sought comfort from someone so flighty and nervous as Meredith. She had lost her confidence after they got back together after Addison, and Derek had really wondered whether they could get through the problems Meredith had in her life. But the saying 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger' was absolutely true. And that statement really did ring true, what with the bomb exploding, and her drowning.

"So…" Derek started, his voice gravelly, stuck deep in his throat as his socked foot gently rubbed hers. "What made you decide to come?" He asked, moving his head closer to her, so his chin rested on top of her head gently, inhaling her scent.

"I don't really know…" Meredith murmured, her fingers playing with the hem of Derek's shirt that had become untucked. "I just…wanted to do more than speak to you and I guess… I wanted to spend time with you, since I wasn't doing anything better."

"Ha! So you only came here because you had nothing else better to do. Thanks, Meredith. Makes me feel a lot better about myself! Here I was thinking that you missed me, that you couldn't live without me, and now you're telling me you did it to alleviate boredom." Derek joked easily with her, his hand curling round her waist to gently tickle her more ticklish sides of her body.

Somewhere along the line, being with Meredith felt less like work and more like fun, even if it had taken a long time to get there. Derek knew that Meredith was loyal to people that she thought had earned it- he saw that with her friends, with Cristina when Burke had his tremor, with Izzie when she cut Denny's LVAD wire, with Alex when he failed his boards. He felt lucky that Meredith had trusted him again- he wouldn't have blamed her if she couldn't get over his deception about Addison. Any lesser person wouldn't have been able to. He knew that. Somehow all the problems they had faced had become vestiges of the past, something that they had experienced and gotten over.

Derek didn't bog himself down with where this was going, because right now he was happy. Meredith was open with him, she wasn't pushing him away, and they had found a routine with each other that Derek was sure could last the rest of their lives. They had been through more in the past two years than most people faced in a lifetime. He had learned to live this relationship in the present. If Meredith wanted something, he knew she'd get it, make the steps to make sure she'd have it, and he was confident that Meredith's pace was the right one for this relationship.

"Actually…" Meredith's voice pierced the muted sounds from the television. "There was something that made me want to come see you." She said, sitting up slightly so she could look into his eyes, peeling herself a little bit away from Derek's embrace.

Derek looked at her in concern, his brow knitted into a slight frown as his mind raced through possible horror scenarios as to why Meredith needed him. But she was happy. She was one hundred percent contented, this was where she wanted to be, and not out of force of a situation, but out of choice. The corners of her sweet pink lips were upturned into a slight smile, her eyes twinkling with an excitement and tinge of apprehension all at the same time. He could tell she was gearing herself up to tell him something, even though he had no idea what in the world could be serious enough that she booked a last minute flight to Vegas after a long day working at the hospital.

"I came home from work, and I saw that a courier dropped off something, a poster tube whatever on the doorstep. I figured it must be from the architect for the house, and he wrote a letter that the building regulation guys approved the plans, and as soon as we find a contractor, we can break ground and build the house." Meredith told him.

"That's great news, Meredith!" Derek replied happily, pulling her in again for a tight hug.

That was only the literal reason though, not the true reason why she came. She didn't stop herself because she was scared of telling him the real reason, but because expressing her emotions verbally was so alien to her. Kiss him in all the right places, touch all the right body parts, and express yourself physically. That's how she dealt with her feelings. Through sex.

But things had changed. And more importantly, she had changed. If this happened even six months ago, where living in a functioning and communicative relationship with Derek was still a novel idea, and a huge step for her, she would have sulked and bitched that she wasn't being recognised by being asked to be at the presentation, she wouldn't have wanted to show Derek how much she wanted to be with him by booking a ticket to come to Vegas, and even if she had, she would have jumped on top of him, wrestled him to the bed, and would have had sex with him. It wasn't that that intimate part of their relationship was any less, or not as important, but Meredith was learning to communicate through words, through speaking her mind, and knowing Derek would be there to listen to it, even if it were things he didn't want to hear.

So when she had something good to say, she should just say it.

"And then for the first time ever, I actually looked at it. I don't mean at the rooms, and the way the kitchen spans an inordinate amount of the downstairs just so it can be at the front, back and whole side of the house, I mean I really looked at it, and realised what it meant. There are kids rooms in that house, Derek. Our kids. There's a walk out basement to a smaller flower garden, where we can invite friends for a lazy barbeque on a Saturday afternoon in the summer. There are his n' hers basins in our bathroom…we've actually thought about this. Our future is written all over those blueprints, and some guy in some office has approved it." Meredith said reverently.

Derek pulled her back towards him, waiting for Meredith to finish. There was more to it than the official approval to the 'McMansion' as Cristina had affectionately dubbed it, and as always, with the McSteamy and McDreamy thing, everyone had started using that term.

"Remember when I laid out those candles of our house, and I said I'd try and trust you? I'm done trying. I know. I know I want that future with you, and I trust you. It's more than that next step to me Derek. Building a house together, planning it with a view to it belonging to both of us for forever, it's everything. And I really think we can have that everything- me and you both." She continued. "It's really our forever Derek…" She almost whispered.

That was the first time Meredith had admitted that to herself without having any doubts. She wasn't expecting it to fail, wondering if she was capable of this- she knew that things that were worth having weren't easy to come by.

Then it hit her- she knew now what it meant, what that feeling was inside of her that prompted her to fly to Vegas to be feeling her skin on his as she conveyed her feelings to him. She knew that it was something big, she knew that it was something more than she could understand while booking the ticket to fly out to see him, but it made sense now. It didn't matter that her mother never had it, that Meredith almost believed that she couldn't have it either. Because she could if she tried.

Finally, for the first time, she maybe even truly trusted herself. Maybe that's what was missing all this time. She had a clarity in her mind.

Meredith swallowed before she spoke, her throat suddenly dry as her words stuck there. She wasn't sure her words would come out, but she opened her mouth and hoped some kind on intelligible sound would come out. "I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old in your arms. I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime. Will you marry me?"

She repeated the lines that Derek had told her all those months ago, the ones that made her recoil in fear. But now she was saying them to him, and she meant every single word. They were said from the bottom of her heart, and those words were ingrained into her memory, she was adamant she wouldn't say them until she really believed them. Now she said them, and she felt…light. As she had achieved everything she had been working towards these past few months.

Forty eight uninterrupted hours- how ironic that the Vegas trip was exactly that. But Derek was taken aback with the force at which Meredith delivered the words he once gave to her, hoping that his honesty would draw all the doubt she had out, and replace it with hope and belief. He had done it- they had done it. They had taken all those steps to get there.

"Mer…" Her name got petered out in his throat, as his voice hitched as he tried not to cry. It was one of those moments where the rest of the world fell away, where nothing else mattered but Meredith and him, sitting on that bed as Meredith admitted everything he once not-so-long-ago never thought would happen.

"I mean it, Derek." Meredith said, turning onto her side, leaning her weight onto him as she held his face in her hands, her fingers gently tracing his jawline. "I want forever with you. Let's get married here in Vegas. Now."

Derek's eyes widened in shock, seeing the resolution in Meredith's expression and in her touch. She really meant it, she wanted to get married in Las Vegas. "Now?" He whispered, his hands coming up to his face to meet hers.

Now was…soon. But he wanted it, right? Building a house with someone, planning it and falling in love with it, guessing how many kids they would have, designing a balcony to their bedroom so they could watch the sunrise off the sound in the morning off the cliff… they had done that together. That was more permanent than any marriage. In the past few months, Derek had a glimpse into what domestic 'harmony' was with Meredith, and it was great. At one time, it was virtually an impossibility.

"Now…" He repeated again, in shock. "But there's supposed to be a proposal, a diamond ring, I have to get down on my knee. There has to be a dress, and…" Meredith silenced him, a finger moving from his jaw to cover his lips. She leaned forward, replacing her finger for her lips, kissing him softly, trying to reassure him.

"Would it make you feel any different about me? If you had the ring, and the perfect words?" Meredith asked him softly, yet confidently.

Derek shook his head. "No…" he answered quietly.

"I don't need the ring…or the dress. All I need is you, and what I have in here." She took his hand and guided it to her heart.

Nothing he and Meredith did together was conventional, they never did things the right way round, and for most of the time, it worked for them. Derek knew that having the fairytale dream wedding didn't mean that the marriage would be any more successful than a quickie one in Las Vegas, it was the sentiments shared at the wedding that made the difference, it mattered if you honoured the vows you said on your wedding day, not how much you spent.

He knew Meredith well by now, and really believed that she really didn't need the dress or the diamond ring, and it held no value to her, and that's why he loved her. She was so unlike any other person he knew, and he got infuriated with and loved that quality in her all at the same time. Derek had been ready to marry her for a long time, and had been waiting. He hadn't allowed himself to get to that stage in case Meredith never got there, conditioning himself to the thought that living with her in her mother's house might have been the furthest they'd ever get. Just because you designed kid's rooms on paper didn't mean that they would happen. But somewhere Meredith had got to that place where the thought of marriage and commitment didn't scare her shitless.

Cristina's non-wedding had affected Meredith's outlook on that typical happy-ever-after profoundly. Meredith didn't think that the conventional fanfare made for a real wedding- one where the vows mean something, where it's two people making the ultimate commitment. All Meredith saw was mother-in-laws taking away your eyebrows, being forced into traditions you didn't want to uphold and say scary vows that you weren't sure the meaning of. Derek knew that- and he agreed with it. Meredith was still quite a flighty character, and Derek knew that she had to really want it to suggest it. He had been ready for a long time.

They were ever the unconventional couple.

"Ok…" Derek whispered. "Let's do it. Let's get married."

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Derek woke up with Meredith's face buried in his chest, his arms surrounding her as they slept. Derek peered at the time on his cell phone, taking one of his hands off Meredith to rub his eyes tiredly. They had celebrated their 'engagement' a lot last night, and it was just another reminder for Derek that he wasn't in his twenties anymore- far from it. Now he needed sleep- he wasn't a resident where sleep deprivation was a part of life, and Derek was sure that he'd be paying for it later. Meredith's snore rumbled against his bare chest, her fingers clutching the bedsheets as she slept.

There was no guilt in missing this second day of the conference, because it was his wedding day. Come midnight that night, he and Meredith would be married. The realisation hadn't quite hit him yet, but when it did, it would hit him like a freight train. Derek wondered what would happen to Meredith when she realised what she was doing… but he was pretty sure she wouldn't run away. Running was a thing of the past for her now. She still avoided issues, but she was still present in her avoidance. Often, when she was the one to make the move, like the house of candles, asking Derek to move in, asking him to give her time, she knew what she was getting herself in for.

"Mer…" Derek coaxed Meredith out of her sleep gently, rubbing her back as he kissed the top of her head, his voice low and rumbling. "Come on, wake up…"

After some unintelligible sounds and rolling over in the opposite direction, gentle kisses along her bare shoulders persuaded Meredith that being awake might just be a better option than sleeping. She rolled onto her back again, as Derek peppered kisses across her collar bones. She opened her eyes, green magnetically finding blue as they met each other's gaze. Derek leaned away, propping his head up with his hand, as his free hand brushed her hair behind her ear, all muzzed during the night.

"Good morning, my beautiful fiancée." He smiled lazily,dipping his head down for a kiss.

"This has to be one of the shortest engagements ever." Meredith laughed sleepily, hooking her arms around Derek's neck, using the little body weight she had to roll Derek over onto his back as she lay on top of him. "But it doesn't make any difference. If we waited one day or one year, I'd still want to marry you. The feelings are exactly the same."

Keeping her fingers nestled at the little curls at the nape of his neck, she rested her head on his warm chest, sighing contentedly. "I love you, Derek."

It took her a long time to say it, but after that first time after their make up sex, she'd been telling him that she loved him all the time. He smiled as he twisted his fingers into the strands of her hair as they enjoyed the quite moment of the day before the chaos started. She'd said 'I love you' so many times in so many ways. There were the quick ones in the morning, usually rushed with a quick peck on the cheek as she poured coffee into a travel mug, the ones that end a phone conversation just in-case one of them died, so that the last thing she ever told him was that she loved him (Derek tried to convince her that was a little morbid, but Meredith thought there was some romanticism in it- he didn't argue that hard; it was just another excuse to hear that wonderful phrase from her lips again.) There were the admissions of love as hushed whispers in the dark, as they held each other in each other's arms as they fell asleep, the passionate utterances during their love making, which came out as a low sensual groan. There were the teasing 'I love you's, laced with just the right amount of sarcasm for it still to be true. And Derek didn't have a favourite one, because all of them were different types of love, and they collectively made up everything Derek loved about his relationship with Meredith, who had begun to snore lightly again as she fell asleep.

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Luckily, Derek had the foresight to print out the wedding licence application online, so all they'd need to do was wait in line to get it. Derek had gotten more and more excited about the prospect of marrying Meredith as time went on. Meredith still caught the wary glances he shot her way, making sure she wasn't wanting to back out of this. Meredith tried to give him what she considered her most reassuring of smiles, and hoped he bought it. Because she had really meant it. She wanted to get married.

For goodness sake, it wasn't as if she had never thought of it before. She might have had her fair string of one night stands before Derek, she was never one of those people who thought that every guy she was with could be 'the one' , she hadn't ever really wanted one either. But then she met Derek, and she bought into the whole relationship idea, after a lot of coaxing. They were building a house together, and she may not have wanted any of those things before, but she knew that it would have lead to marriage eventually. That eventually was now. If they were discussing kid's bedrooms and office space, they could get married.

Meredith knew Derek wanted this too, for a long time, even if he had expected it in a more conventional way. He had told her the day she drowned in an off-handed way 'do you want to get married?' …and then once again with the speech at the elevator. Derek believed in marriage despite being married once before, and having that marriage fail. He believed in soulmates, and Meredith didn't know what she believed.

Meredith hadn't really seen marriage work. Her mother always treated hers as a dire mistake- and Meredith was the constant reminder to that failure- one blemish on Ellis Grey's life. Meredith had since found out exactly why Ellis felt that way- that Ellis thought that the prospect of looking after someone else's child was too much for Richard Webber, and he chickened out. However, it took trying in a relationship with Derek, learning how to love with him in the same house day in, day out for her to realise that a certain element of Richard staying with his wife would have been Ellis's attitude towards life. Everything was an obstruction to surgery- a goal in her life that she gave everything up to achieve. And yet it was ironic, because Meredith knew that if there was anyone in this world that would have been capable of taming her mother, it would have been Richard.

Getting a cab from the resort to the marriage licence bureau, they had driven up the strip, passing all the wedding chapels and potential places where they could tie the knot. Meredith held Derek's hand tightly as she peered out of the window, wondering which on they would choose. They saw couples walk into the chapels to get married, and likewise others coming out as husband and wife. Maybe Meredith was buying into this idea more than Derek gave her credit for.

Waiting for their turn to get a licence, Derek watched as Meredith looked at all the other couples in line. Most of them would be getting married too. Even though Meredith said she wanted to get married, and she acted like she did, there was still this niggling little doubt in the back of Derek's mind that that was what she really wanted. Because Meredith had been scared of commitment for such a long time, the idea of a happy marriage had been such an alien concept, Derek wasn't sure that she would ever want it, and he would have had to be the one pushing her, not this way round.

"So…being surrounded by all this wedding atmosphere…is that vicarious pleasure enough? Or do you think it might put some people off? " Derek teased Meredith, nudging her affectionately.

"Sure" Meredith replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes "I think the sheer number of casinos in a one mile radius really puts people off gambling their life savings away."

She really wanted this.

Her decision to get married in Vegas didn't mean she considered it to be a trivial thing- she really just wanted to do it quietly. But the thing was- maybe it was too quiet. He intended on this being the last time he would ever get married, and he didn't want either him or Meredith to wish they had done things differently. He had already had the wedding with all the family, the tuxedo and cake, the wedding photographer and best man- but Meredith hadn't.

Derek leaned down, putting his lips to Meredith's ear. "I think you should call Cristina and let her know what we're doing…maybe even invite her down here to witness this." Derek whispered, squeezing Meredith's hand reassuringly as he spoke.

Meredith turned her head quickly towards him, eyebrows darting up in surprise at Derek's offer. So many unspoken questions flashed across her face. Derek just gave her a small smile. "She's your family, Meredith. I know she's important to you. You'll need her." He explained.

"What about you?" Meredith asked him. "Don't you want Mark here with you? To be your best man?"

Although Derek would have said that his friendship with Mark was now totally healed, and they were even able to talk and sometimes joke about Mark and Addison, Derek was affected deep down. There were somethings that were private- and this felt like one of them. He couldn't implicitly trust Mark anymore, not like how Meredith trusted Cristina.

"Last time he was my best man, it didn't end so well did it?" Derek joked, his smile weaker than he intended. Of course it still hurt that both his wife and his best friend had cheated on him. And to think, Meredith thought she had trust issues. So did he. The two people he was supposed to trust most in the world had betrayed him, and he couldn't really heal from that. But every dark cloud has a silver lining, and if that had never have happened, he would never have met Meredith, so with hindsight, it all worked out.

"Derek, I would never…" Meredith hastily told him. And she wouldn't. She never understood why people cheated. If it was so bad you couldn't be faithful, why didn't people just break up with their partner before they strayed? If only Derek knew about that time in the scrub room, where Mark suggested a meeting in the on-call room to heal their pain, he would have given Mark a punch on the other eye.

Derek kissed her on the lips to silence her. "I know you wouldn't…" He said confidently. "But I don't need him here, you need Cristina, Meredith. If you don't invite her out, I think you'd regret it."

Derek continued smiling as Meredith contemplated it. Meredith may have looked like she wanted it right now, but he was sure sooner rather than later she'd have a moment of doubt, as everyone did, and Cristina would be one of the only people to be able to talk her down from that panic. Also- Cristina may never have forgiven her if they just got married without telling her, there were somethings that people as close as Meredith and Cristina were that just needed to be said.

Grabbing her phone from her pocket, Meredith dialled Cristina's number, smiling gratefully at Derek while she waited for her friend to pick up. That was why Meredith knew that marriage would work for them, why it was the right thing to do. Derek knew her and understood her needs better than she knew them herself. Meredith hadn't even considered it until he mentioned it, and once he did, she did feel like it was the right thing to do. She did need to call Cristina and at least let her know that she was going to do this. She knew Cristina and Derek didn't have the easiest of relationships, that for the longest time Cristina was wary and untrusting of Derek when Meredith agreed to having a relationship with him- all she wanted to do was protect her best friend. And somewhere along the way, the two called some kind of truce, silently recognising that hating each other wasn't achieving anything- and was making the person they cared about torn between both of them.

"How's Las Vegas? Got married in 'Elvis's chapel of Love' yet?" Cristina asked her friend, skipping all the pleasantries like 'hi' and 'how are you?'

"Actually…" Meredith began guiltily "we're waiting in line for a marriage licence right now. And we were wondering of you want to be a witness."

Cristina was momentarily stunned, and for once was unable to speak. Meredith wondered whether this silence was a good or a bad thing. Cristina had been burned once by the idea of marriage, and Meredith had begun to think that Cristina wasn't so sure if marriage was for her- and Meredith was never really bothered by it- until she decided she wanted it.

"I'll book the next flight out. I'll text you my details." Cristina eventually told her friend, hanging up abruptly.

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The next few hours until Cristina's flight landed went in a blur. After their licence was processed, Derek had taken her to a jewellery store in one of the malls. All she could see were cases and cases of rings, and so many types to choose from. Gold, white gold, platinum… none of them jumped out to her. All she could feel was Derek's supportive hand resting on the small of her back as she leaned against one of the glass cases, her hand flat against the cool glass, creating a misty mark when she took it off the case to try on a ring Derek suggested.

"What do you think?" Derek's voice reached her ears, warm and comforting in this otherwise overwhelming situation. That's all that mattered. Derek. That's what she was here for, and the ring was only a sign of their commitment. Meredith in her mind had already made that promise to him when she asked him to marry her, she wasn't reneging on that promise, on those intended vows, but rings, and types, and prices and sizes- it made it less about what was going on in her head and more about the public declaration part of the wedding.

Derek casually slipped it on her finger, and she could feel the cool metal band surround her finger perfectly. Her eyes flashed from the ring on her finger to Derek, who was watching her carefully, but still had a wide smile on his face. Meredith looked back to the ring again, wondering how this was actually happening, hardly believing that barely twelve hours ago she had told him she wanted to get married and now they were buying rings with a wedding licence in Derek's pocket. Her right hand fell to her left ring finger, rotating the plain platinum band around her finger, as she imagined it being there forever, and what that meant to her, what the ring symbolised.

Derek knew Meredith was thinking, thinking about what the ring meant, and he was giving Meredith time to come to terms with it. He was confident now that even though Meredith would be scared, she had learned how to overcome it, and become stronger because of that doubt, that it gave her the conviction to go for what she really wanted rather than run away. They had worked through that together, and he had been there for her when she needed him to.

After pondering a little more, Meredith slipped off the ring, and placed it on the glass cabinet, fidgeting with her fingers as she looked at it a little longer, next to a bigger matching band for Derek. That ring on her finger felt right, and it gave her a sense of belonging, of achievement, that despite being told that forming relationships with men was worthless by her mother, she had found it to be the best thing she had ever done. She wasn't defined by her relationship with Derek – she was in it because she wanted to be, and committing to him, showing the world she was married to him was something worthwhile.

Looking up at Derek, she took her hand in his, which lay casually on the edge of the counter, her fingers intertwining with his. "I like it." She said quietly, smiling.

"You don't want one with diamonds?" Derek asked, preparing to usher her to the cabinets with different styles of ring. "I mean, you can get whatever you want, I really don't mind."

"Tiny, tiny diamonds?" Meredith joked, remembering Izzie's comment when George and Callie had their disaster wedding in Vegas.

"That's one marriage I really have no intention of emulating." Derek replied, laughing. "Oh god, they got married in Vegas too, didn't they?" His eyes flew wide open at his realisation, eyes shining with laughter.

"Not the same, Derek." Meredith replied, mock-annoyed, as she nudged him. "No. No diamonds. I like the plain band- it's simple, clean…it does everything it's supposed to. Let's just get them. Cristina will be arriving in an hour or two."

And Meredith meant that. She really did admire the simplicity in the ring, and it was the complete opposite of what they went through to get to this point, which was horribly drawn-out, complicated, messy…and now, they were at a point in their relationship that felt stronger than ever. It wasn't like Callie and George's wedding, because even though it was a spontaneous decision, Meredith had been building herself up to this for a long time- since the house of candles. She had tried to make herself not run from any bump in the road with Derek, and it had paid off.

They decided on just engraving the date inside the ring, and wandered through the shops as they waited. They walked side by side, stepping in perfect time with each other, holding hands lightly as they commented on all the stores, and people. This was easy, the way it was meant to be, and it could have been easy to forget all the hard times they had been through to get to this point, but without all of the hardships, maybe this good part wouldn't have felt so great, so rewarding.

Derek had tried to convince Meredith to buy any dress she wanted, but she was adamant that she'd get married in that black Ralph Lauren dress. She had to wear it to something, and her wedding seemed like the most appropriate occasion. Her rebellious streak was showing with this whole wedding thing. Pink-haired Meredith was sticking her finger up to all conventional traditions and doing it her way. She didn't want a normal wedding, she wanted what she wanted, and as long as they said their vows and signed the paper, it didn't matter what else happened. She'd be happy in her black dress, just as long as Derek was there with her.

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"Hey Mer!" Meredith heard Cristina's voice call her through the crowd at the airport as she carried what looked to be a medium size army backpack on her shoulders.

Derek flashed a bemused look as he saw an embroidered 'HUNT' patch on it like he expected- seemed like one other person knew about the elopement too- which he didn't mind. At least Owen has something none of the others seemed capable of- professionalism. Maybe it was his sense of right and wrong, of being in the army and knowing not to disclose sensitive information, but he was able to separate his personal and professional life. He didn't favour Cristina when working with her- she was just his resident and he was her attending, and if Derek was to guess, he would suspect that was the thing Cristina liked most about him.

He shook his head as the two friends didn't even exchange a hug, but seemed to be talking about something… the words 'Shepherd' and 'getting hitched' hung in the air. Now that someone else was talking about it besides himself and Meredith- it felt real. Their bubble had been somewhat popped and the realisation came that once they landed in Seattle, they would be functioning as husband and wife- it wasn't just part of the Vegas madness.

"So I brought a dress…anything else?" Cristina asked both of them.

Meredith laughed. "Nope. I don't have much else myself…"

"At least tell me you have rings?" Cristina rolled her eyes.

"Yes." Derek replied emphatically, showing her the boxes he had in his pants pocket.

"Hmm… interesting…" Cristina said in a low voice as she inspected them. "It's already four…what if we don't get a slot until midnight? Then this wont actually BE your wedding day, and you'll be a day out. I mean, did you even decide on a wedding chapel?"

The gasp that came out of Meredith's lips indicated that they hadn't. "Maybe we should embrace the tacky- you know, get married in an Elvis themed place."

"I'm all for the wedding in Vegas , Mer, really, but I absolutely draw the line at getting married by an Elvis impersonator, even if the Graceland wedding chapel worked for Bon Jovi."

Cristina shrugged. "I don't know, I mean… you're already doing one of the tackiest things you can possibly do, getting married in this town, I think you should go all out. What about that drive thru wedding chapel on the strip?"

"I'm getting married, Cristina, not ordering a big mac and fries." Meredith rolled her eyes. This was beginning to frustrate her. They decision to come and visit Derek in Las Vegas was easy, the decision to marry him was simple, and yet deciding where they would get married was proving the most debated question.

Derek could see Meredith get ever so slightly freaked out and stressed at not being able to find a place to get married. And yet the ironic thing was that it didn't really matter where they got married- not anymore. He may have had some kind of ideas of where he wanted to get married to her before- maybe on a summer's day on their land where for once they could forget their baggage and live in the moment, and yet Derek realised that THIS was Meredith living in the moment. As for the baggage- Derek, they would never be rid of that- the battle scars were plain for all to see, and Derek was proud of that. Any other couple probably wouldn't have made it through so many obstacles as they had done, and to get here was momentous. As her future husband, it was Derek's duty to calm her down.

"Look, it doesn't matter. Let's just get back to the hotel, freshen up, get dressed, and then we'll just drive up and down the strip a few times until we find a place that feels right, ok?" Derek said, giving Meredith a reassuring smile.

___________________________________________________________________________________

"Nice dress, Mer…" Cristina complimented her friend, as Meredith smoothed out invisible wrinkles out of her never- worn black dress, running her hands through her wavy blonde hair.

Meredith smiled back as a thankyou. Cristina wasn't a bullshitter. That's why they got on so well- she told it like it was, and that truth was painful sometimes. But at times like these- where Meredith was making one of the biggest steps of her life- she needed her friend there. This wasn't just about her and Derek as a couple, this was about Meredith and what it took from her in terms of personal growth to get to this point, to make this kind of commitment to Derek, to initiate it. This was almost like a double celebration. She had gotten to the top of the board and managed to dodge the huge proverbial snake on the last square.

Meredith had this feeling that maybe this whole getting married thing wasn't supposed to be as simple as this was feeling- Derek was currently in the bathroom, getting ready and putting on his suit to get married in, and she was sitting there in her black dress that she threw into her suitcase as an afterthought, with Cristina by her side, hunched over Derek's laptop, deciding which cheesy wedding chapel she wanted to get married in. There was no obsessing about seating plans, and flower arrangements, there was no worrying about catering, wedding dress alterations. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. But then again, wasn't that the whole point? Wasn't that why her subconscious thought it was such a brilliant idea to do it this way? There was such a thing as having too much choice. She just wanted to say her vows to Derek, and prove to herself and everyone else that Meredith Grey actually WAS capable of making scary commitments to the guy who let her down, whom she had let down, and who both had the strength to work through it.

"I don't see how you can decide to get married in a split second, and then spend a whole hour scrolling through chapels and not even have a shortlist!" Cristina complained, getting up from her chair to walk out to the balcony when she got a call from Owen.

If Meredith was honest, she couldn't really understand that logic either, and finally at the height of her frustration, intensified with Cristina's growing impatience, she grabbed a pamphlet in the pile that the hotel provided on the desk beside her and opened it up, showing a map of wedding chapels on the strip. She grabbed a pen, closed her eyes, and jabbed the tip of her pen onto the paper.

"Little white wedding chapel it is, then." She heard Derek say over her shoulder as he fiddled with the cufflinks on his sleeve.

"You're really ok with this? You're not frightened or dismayed by the lack of class this shows?" Meredith asked him worriedly. "Am I just…I dunno…distracting myself from the gravity of the commitment by rushing it?" Meredith asked, lowering her voice to a whisper. "Am I cheapening it?"

"Meredith…no." Derek replied, the volume of his voice matching Meredith's. " Some people, they have the big expensive poufy white dress, the perfect venues, hundreds of guests and professional albums, and what they have inside, their resolve to make it work, the sentiments…that's all hollow. We're not making it about the wedding, we're making it about the marriage. It's about the piece of paper, and not where we sign it. I'm just happy I'm getting married to you."

The sliding door squeaked open, and Crsitina came back inside, unaware of the heart-to-heart Meredith and Derek shared. "Oh cool. So you did choose the chapel with a drive thru. I think you should reconsider, Mer, because think about the expression on people's faces when you tell them you got married on a motorbike."

"Derek doesn't ride motorbikes anymore…" Meredith laughed, as Derek's arm gripped her tighter, as she pointed to the virtually invisible scar on his forehead.

"Aww. McDreamy got his panties in a twist because he scarred his pretty little face?" Cristina asked gleefully.

It had taken some getting used to, but Derek realised that it was just Cristina's way. She cared for Meredith maybe as much as he did, and she was there holding Meredith up when he had damaged her- if a man had done some of the things he had done to Meredith to one of his sisters, he would have said the same things Cristina had. But somewhere along the line he had redeemed himself-although he couldn't be sure how. Cristina was here, and she was supporting them, and that was what mattered.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Another hour and a half later, armed with a digital camera, they were waiting outside the chapel, and surprisingly, Meredith was a picture of zen. Maybe it was because all of this was on her terms, within her realms of comfortability, and she wasn't coerced into any of this. Derek almost laughed to himself when he thought of how she was more undone by Cristina's wedding than she was by her own. And that's why this all felt right, because they were getting married in the purest way in the cheesiest place on earth.

Armed with her digital camera, Cristina took Meredith to the side as their names were called out to enter the chapel.

This was it. Panic was starting to come into Meredith's eyes, her heart beating a little faster as they were about to enter the chapel. No going back. It was one of those moments where her life was going to change forever, this was a step in her life that was once a distant hope and now she was there.

"Mer…" Cristina said, grabbing her friend's arm and leading her to a corner. "This is it. And for the love of god, stop being so scared! You don't have your mother here, a scary momma who waxed your eyebrows off, this is… this is your city hall. You're getting your city hall, and more miraculously, your boyfriend is actually listening to what you want. Do you know how special that is? If… if Burke had given that to me, just me, him you and Shepherd at city hall-maybe…maybe things would have been different. I wouldn't have had to change, he wouldn't have tried to change me, he wouldn't have felt guilty that he was making me leap so high for him. Derek- he's a good guy who made some stupid mistakes trying to be a good guy. Prove that marriage is more than just the fuss."

Cristina was right. She could do this, and she was doing this right. If she had to do this in Vegas to avoid doing it the way she absolutely didn't want to do it- where it was less about them and the celebration that they had gotten this far, and more about all the other crap, then she had to do it this way. There were so many factors to why a marriage wouldn't work out- and over the past two and a half years, she had been through most of them with Derek.

Meredith walked up to Derek, smiling up at him as she kissed him on the lips lightly, looking deep into his eyes that conveyed nothing but love and commitment to her. "Let's do this thing." She whispered, grabbing his hand as the chapel doors opened.

Once they were in there, everything was a blur, a mish-mash of emotions and memories, past and present. It didn't matter that the whole room was possibly decorated in the worst taste any of them had ever seen, because what Meredith and Derek were doing, the promises they were making to each other were special. The thing about Cristina and Meredith was- they weren't wedding people. But they were marriage people. They bought into the whole idea of loving only one person for the rest of their life, committing to them, and being with them through everything, but they didn't want to be a princess for the day, be the bride that everyone stared at.

Growing up, Meredith was too busy playing with her anatomy Jane doll to dream up fairytale weddings. She didn't have a mom as a role model, she had Ellis. She wanted to be a doctor who saved lives when no one else could. She had fulfilled that dream, and now she was fulfilling one she never imagined she had until she said it. This was going against everything everyone thought about her. Meredith Grey would never commit. Meredith Grey could never get married. Meredith Grey wouldn't be able to keep Derek Shepherd forever- she didn't know how to give him what he wanted. And yet here she was, doing it, without them knowing, and it gave her a sense of power and control over herself that infinite hours of therapy with Dr. Wyatt would never provide.

Just Meredith, Derek, Cristina, another paid witness and the minister- they were the only people that filled the small chapel. There was Derek, hand in hand with Meredith, reciting the same vows he said to Addison all those years ago, but this second time round, he knew what they meant, and this time he said them with a lot more conviction than the first time. In this second wedding, there were no personal vows with cheesy lines about how much they meant to each other, because what mattered was that they were there, doing it. It mattered that Meredith would be wearing his ring, and he'd be wearing hers. It mattered that on Monday he'd call the contractor, and they'd start building their house and shop for furniture. He realised what would make and break this relationship, he understood Meredith so well.

With only the five of them in this chapel, the privacy and intimacy of the moment wasn't lost on Derek, even if the witness that would sign his wedding certificate was a total stranger. In fact, it made it more about Meredith and Derek as a couple, just two people who loved each other and uniting, rather than the fuss of the wedding. It was a refreshing change from the 'Meredith and Derek show' in Seattle, they weren't being put under the microscope by anyone, they weren't being watched for any hints of cracking. People just accepted them as a couple who wanted to get married. They didn't know Derek hid his wife from Meredith, that Meredith had no role model for marriage, of all the things they had been through to get here. That was just between them- and Cristina.

That's why Meredith was here. She was making that final step- the final commitment. She wasn't really sure what that would mean, but she didn't think she would until she did. It would be many things that made her realise there was something else more in a marriage than just living together- she hoped it would bring more to their relationship, shift them onto something higher. Even though she hadn't seen a marriage work, she still believed it could for her and Derek- because what problem couldn't they face together? They cured and incurable condition, Derek had revived her for twenty minutes when she drowned.

"Meredith…" Derek whispered, before he recited his vows. His fingers gripped hers, both of their palms clammy as his thumb gently ran over the back of her hand over and over, in a soothing rhythm in time with his voice. He was promising everything, to be there always no matter what. And that's why she was marrying him now, there in Vegas. Because she already knew he'd do all those things for her, and she would for him.

Meredith's voice became shaky, willing herself to contain herself long enough to say the vows back to Derek. Tears blurred her vision, but even then, she could swear Derek was crying too. She could feel him wrench his hand out of her grip, and then seconds later felt him wipe the tears from her face so she could see him more clearly, his blue eyes tearing up as he said "I do." He said it softly, almost reverently, as if it were a prayer, only meant for her to hear.

Meredith's eyes eventually met Cristina's, and she could see that even Cristina had tears pooling in her eyes. Meredith had proved that women like her could have this without having to have everything else. They were capable of loving someone else, and committing to them, marrying someone and have it be about the marriage rather than the wedding. They had come a long way, been through a lot of doubt and arguing to get this far, but Derek was absolutely right. It wouldn't have been the same for Meredith if Cristina hadn't been there to share in that moment.

Ring were exchanged, shiny reminders of the commitment they had just made to each other. Just simple platinum wedding bands, understated symbols of their marriage. Meredith looked up again at Derek as he embraced her, his left hand on hers, and she could feel the tension drain out of Derek's body. They had actually done it. They had gotten married, even though it wasn't conventional, even if Derek was just in a dark suit and crisp white shirt with no tie, even if Meredith was in a black dress she found in her closet, even though her best friend Cristina was in her dress she wore at prom two years. It didn't matter, because that moment was still magical, and Meredith couldn't imagine anything else could feel that perfect.

___________________________________________________________________________________

"I have to say, it wasn't bad for a quickie wedding." Cristina said, scrawling her signature across the wedding certificate, acting as the main witness. "Clean, in and out no fuss. Like a textbook surgery."

Meredith could feel Derek's chest rumble against her as he held her tightly. She was his. He was hers. And before, Meredith was sure she thought that really marriage was only a bit of paper, that getting married wouldn't change the way she felt about Derek. But now she had that piece of paper in her hand, and it was in writing that they had made that ultimate commitment, it proved that it wasn't all in her head, Derek's love wasn't just some perception in her mind, but it was there in front of her. That marriage certificate was everything.

She had a husband. She wasn't quite sure what that really meant to her yet, but it would probably become apparent as time went on. She wasn't supposed to be that person who had a husband, because she wasn't wife material. She didn't have parents as role models who had been married for thirty five years and been happy. She had never seen it work, and took a leap of faith. And for once, it paid off. Derek believed in soulmates, and magic, and maybe she believed in it too.

"What next? Dinner somewhere?" Derek asked happily as they posed for a cheesy picture taken by the minister, while Cristina clicked away on the digital camera she had brought with her.

"Are you kidding me?" Cristina grimaced. "Watching you two undress each other with your eyes while I'm trying to eat some good steak's gonna put me off. Drop me off at the casino. I'm gonna make a killing on those slot machines."

"You know, consummating the marriage DOES sound like the most fun part of the wedding." Meredith whispered in Derek's ear seductively, putting her arm into Derek's jacket and hooking it round his torso, her fingertips feathering his side, leaving a trail of heat.

And then Derek really actually looked at her. His wife. He noticed the simple hairstyle, the way the naturally gentle waves framed her flawless face, how a small contented smile graced her features as her eyes shone with something Derek couldn't describe, but he was sure he felt it too. His eyes trailed down the long column of her neck, down to the low cut of the dress, perfectly framing all the contours of her body his hands and lips had explored time and time again. And then he saw the simple ring decorating her finger as it reflected the gaudy lights in the room.

He swore he fell in love with her all over again.

"Meet us at the hotel for brunch tomorrow." Derek told Cristina distractedly as he watched Meredith.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Meredith opened her eyes slowly, afraid that this feeling was not real, that someone would pinch her, and the past twenty four hours were just a dream. But no. Derek was there, above her, watching her, loving her, smiling down at her with a heavy lidded sated gaze. Meredith exhaled slowly, her hand reaching up to push back a sweaty curl from his forehead. Her hand raked through his raven black hair, sticking up in all directions from the…friction…of a few minutes before. It trailed down his body, resting somewhere on his lower back, as her fingertips absently traced small circles on his smooth skin.

"I love you." Meredith said for the hundredth time since they had exchanged vows just a few hours ago.

Derek rolled onto his side, still holding her tightly against his naked body as his head fell onto the pillow. "Mmm." Derek's voice reverberated against her neck. "Love you too."

Is this what true happiness felt like? Was this what not having a care in the world was actually about? Her mother was wrong. Meredith would give everything up in a second to feel like this forever. This was worth it, maybe this was what being a passionate force of nature could achieve. If she could bottle this feeling of complete contentment, she'd be rich.

"Let's not tell anyone for a little while." Meredith found herself saying to Derek. "I mean, we share a house with roommates, everyone at the hospital has their noses in our business, everything we do it public. Let's just keep this private for a little while, and if people find out, then that's different. I just…let's not tell anyone yet. Let's keep it a secret for a few days."

He understood why she wanted to keep it to themselves, and it wasn't because she was embarrassed, that she didn't want to be his wife. But Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd were considered legends, and their history was known to everyone. Sometimes living up to that title, or even just having the burden of that title put a strain on them. Don't fight in the hallways, you'll be stared at for a week. Don't get caught going into an on-call-room with Meredith, people will smirk at you for days. Being yourself and not being yourself all at the same time was tiring. Izzie would be overly perky about it, and Alex would make jokes. Derek just didn't want to have to justify the impulsive decision just yet. He just wanted to celebrate it with Meredith.

"Ok…" Derek whispered, his fingers gently feathering across her bare stomach under the sheets, leaving what felt like a trail of fire on her skin, igniting feelings Meredith didn't think were possible. "But I must admit, I'm a little annoyed with you…" Derek added, his hand finding hers.

Meredith's eyes popped open again, finding his, which for one of those rare times, told her nothing. They were flat, almost emotionless, and if Meredith didn't know any better, she could have sworn he was trying to keep them that way. "Annoyed?" She asked, trying to keep the panic from her tone.

"Yeah. You didn't tell me you love me today…" He pouted, not able to control the smirk on his lips as he said it, picking up his head to kiss her on the lips.

"I just said…." Meredith began indignantly, peeking at the clock at the side of the bed. Twelve o'clock. Midnight. The start of a whole new day, the first whole day as husband and wife. Next thing she knew her expression matched his, smirking as she rolled on top of him, effectively pinning him down, and he wasn't resisting.

"I love you." She said against his lips.

Meredith couldn't be sure he answered, but it didn't matter. His kiss spoke a thousand 'I love yous.'

*****************************

You've got magic inside your finger tips
It's leaking out all over my skin
Every time that I get close to you
Your making me weak with the way you
Look through those eyes

And all I see is your face
All I need is your touch
Wake me up with your lips
Come at me from up above
Yeah, oh I need you

I remember the way that you move
You're dancing easily through my dreams
It's hitting me harder and harder with all your smiles
You are crazy gentle in the way you kiss

All I see is your face
All I need is your touch
Wake me up with your lips
Come at me from up above

Oh baby I need you
To see me, the way I see you
Lovely, wide awake in
The middle of my dreams

And all I see is your face
All I need is your touch
Wake me up with your lips
Come at me from up above

I need you.

Colbie Caillat-Magic.