Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or the associated characters…or anything except my laptop, bed and some clothes really

Edward's POV

"… you not the only person who left behind a family when you died." I finished, by this time red faced and shaking. I felt almost paralyzed in my anger. Dimly I registered Bella's fear and horror as she watched everything I had ever longed to say to anyone pour out.

It was too much, all this unbidden, formerly repressed emotion. I was a monster. I had thought I loved Bella, thought I had been equipped to deal with what I had once secretly labeled her 'addiction' but now could only call selfishness.

I had to get out, away from her

Once in my house I went straight to my bed and flopped on it, burying my head in the pillows.

If emotion had ruled over me before, it now felt as if I was totally void of it. I couldn't feel, couldn't think, couldn't fathom what I had done, what Bella had done, what we had done. The only thing I could do was wish for sleep, and because I was in heaven- heaven, that word taunted me like never before- I slept.

But sleep doesn't, didn't last forever, and as I woke up I was hit by the gravity of my situation, and my fury had returned. But this time it wasn't directed at Bella, well not in the most part anyway, I was furious at myself.

In the wake of a new day I could see that that had always been part of the problem. Of course Bella had been wrong to insinuate that I didn't love my family as much as she hers, but in shouting at her I had also been shouting at myself. My words, however true they were, weren't only for Bella and I couldn't believe I had had the audacity to do that.

I rolled over to the side and swore when I encountered the picture on my bedside table; Bella beaming, my arm around her, my face completely content. Normally I loved waking up to that photo, but today it was my breaking point and I grabbed it without thinking and flung it across the room, letting it shatter as it hit the wall.

Storming downstairs I flung open the kitchen cabinet, took out the long neglected scotch and poured myself a shot. I had never been more than I social drinker, and the idea of alcohol before breakfast any other day would have repelled me. But today I needed the drink- need to slow down, to be calm.

I drowned the shot and relished the burn, and subsequent numbness that came with it.

Yes, I know it's the shortest chapter in history, sorry.
next chapter will be longer, and probably in Bella's POV
Please review and tell me what you thought, and what you think should happen next.

E