Authors Note:

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let you all know that if you go to "CopiPan" on youtube you can find my teaser trailer for this story, and you can find many of my other Joker, Joker/Rachel, and Dark Knight Videos.

Anyway, this chapter was fun to write, its a bit more comic relief than my others, at least I hope it is :P

Enjoy! And Please Review!

Chapter 6

"Tell the good old Commissioner to come in…" The Joker pushes Rachel down on the floor just as Commissioner Gordon and his men barge in. The Commissioner bumps into a thug named Cackle on the way in and they both share a look of disgust with one another. "The gig is up Joker! You're cornered!" The Jokers black eyes watch the dozens of newly loaded guns surround him.

He quickly picks up Rachel and holds his knife to her throat while shouting, "It's very rude of you Commissioner to show up to our place uninvited. Or…ugh…honey…" he pauses and asks in Rachel's ear "…did you invite them?"

The Joker shakes her head for her and continues "No? Well, then I guess your going to have to leave then. I mean, we didn't even have enough time to clean up. And you know how much I hate a messy house."

Gordon bites his lip and shouts angrily "Let her go!" The Joker giggles softly replying back confidently "I will, if you leave." Gordon cocks his gun and points it at the Joker while saying "I said 'let her go'!"

The Joker smirks, and pushes his knife closer to Rachel's neck while whispering, "Well, well, well. I guess you want to be responsible for both her deaths. Hmm…. tell me Com-missi-o-ner… How did it feel to look into Dents eyes and let him know that it was your fault Rachel didn't get out alive…. or did…considering this very unlikely coincidence."

The Commissioner grinds his teeth while the Joker continues, "It was your fault, wasn't it? That this…." He slides his hand up her leg while speaking "…almost got blown up into several, very beautiful, pieces of human flesh." Gordon sighs heavily and shouts out "I couldn't save her! I couldn't! I…what does it matter? She's alive now…."

The Joker smiles his evil smirk and whispers "…not for long…." Gordon takes a step towards him and the Joker licks his lip and says "Ah-ta-ta…don't get so anxious Commissioner. Patience is a virtue. But...I'll tell you what…. tell your men to go for some coffee and doughnuts, you know how much they enjoy those…. and Rachel, your monopoly guy mustache, and I will have some group therapy."

The Commissioner nods and shouts to his men "You heard the freak! Go wait outside…I can handle myself around this monster." The Joker smiles and whispers, "While your out boyzz… do you think you could get me a vanilla frappe? I love the whipped-cream on those things…." He pulls Rachel closer and whispers huskily to her "For later, beautiful." Rachel shakes her head in disgust and the doors close leaving just the Joker, Rachel and the Commissioner in the room.

The Commissioner lowers his gun and the Joker lets Rachel go and she falls straight onto the floor. Gordon asks softly "Rachel…how are you? I mean…I know you can't be well, but…" Rachel bites her lip and interrupts by saying "I'm fine, Gordon. I've been better but…"

The Joker interrupts by saying "Miss. Dawes is just dandy. Now, Commissioner, let's chat." The Joker looks over at Rachel who is crawling slowly towards Gordon. The Joker smiles and places an arm over her while he whispers "…and if you thought you were going anywhere, you're mistaken. You're staying over here with Mr. J. I know how much you enjoy my company…." Rachel puffs and whispers, "I'd enjoy it even more if you weren't touching me…." The Joker laughs and points towards Gordon while saying softly "Now, now, honey. Let's not fight, we have guests."

Gordon watches the two of them for a second, sighs and says "Anyway…. Joker…I am really getting tired…" the Joker interrupts by saying "…and old." The Commissioner rolls his eyes and the Joker giggles as Gordon continues "…I am really getting tired of your little games…. what exactly do you want?"

The Joker takes his arm off Rachel's shoulders and scratches his chin while admitting "Hmmm… I'd like some gasoline…some dynamite…and ugh…some new knives if it isn't too much trouble. My old one's aren't the same any longer, they just don't have that shine anymore; I guess it's because of all the victims' blood. Well, anyway, back to what I want…."

Gordon rolls his eyes and says loudly "Listen to me Joker! You need help! You're a monster…. and...ugh... if you come to Arkham with us…. I think we can help you. We have a girl named Harleen Quinzel who is ready to talk with you…." The Joker interrupts by saying sarcastically "Your planning on getting a Harle-quin to help me? Listen, Commissioner…."

He pauses, licks his lip and continues casually "I don't need any help…I already told you what I need. Gasoline. Dynamite. Knives, if possible, I'm not greedy." Rachel rolls her eyes and mutters, "I think Gordon is right. I'll help if I have to…. we should get you to Arkham…."

The Joker takes out his knife from his pocket and says coldly "If I wanted your opinion, Princess, I would have asked for it, now, start reminiscing about good old dead Harvey and shut it!" The Joker suddenly takes his knife and places it at Rachel's lips. He turns towards Gordon and says, "Now…you…mustache guy…Rachel and I have to make our grand exit…although…it was nice chatting with you…."

The Joker stands while pulling Rachel up by her hair and the Commissioner takes out his gun and points it towards both of them. "Stop…there is no where to go!" The Joker chuckles, walks towards the Commissioner, dragging Rachel along while he speaks "You know what I love about comedy? People never expect the punch line."

The Joker then takes the gun out of the Commissioner hands and points the gun at Gordon and pulls the trigger. But instead of a bullet, water squirts Gordon in the face. The Joker laughs and whispers to Rachel "Cackle used to run a magic show…. I find him very useful at times…like now."

Suddenly, the Joker takes the back of his knife and hits the Commissioner over the head with it. Gordon falls to the floor unconscious and the Joker grabs Rachel more forcefully and asks, "I bet you weren't expecting that one, beautiful." Rachel gulps as she watches his black eyes darken.

He chuckles and opens the door while he pushes her towards it. She gasps as she sees all the policemen unconscious. Her eyes widen as the Joker yells out "Get the school bus ready boys…. we're going on a class trip!" He slams the warehouse door shut and says to Rachel "But first we're going to stop at Starbucks…I really want my whipped cream."

- - - -

Two hours later, the Dark Knight was finally ready to get rid of the Joker once and for all. He opens the door to the warehouse and gasps at the sight he sees. More than twenty cops are on the floor, unconscious. He walks towards the second door to where he was earlier, hoping that it isn't too late to save Rachel.

He opens the door to see the Commissioner in the middle of the familiarly tiled floor. Batman looks around the room to see a white substance all over it spelling out in dozens of places the word, or sound "Ha." He bends down towards one of the Ha's, sniffs it and asks confused "Whipped cream?"

He marches strongly towards the centre of the room, and shakes the Commissioner while screaming "Gordon! Wake up!" Gordon's eye slowly open and he asks, "Did he take her?" Batman nods and Gordon sighs heavily while getting up to stand on his feet. He looks around the room and sees the 'decorations'.

The Commissioner rubs his head and says softly "He won't kill her…. she'll be safe. What he wants is you…and gasoline, he made me clear of that." Batman growls angrily and says hotly "How do you know that Gordon? He could have killed her already." Gordon shakes his head and walks towards the exit while saying "I'm hoping he hasn't."

Batman nods and walks towards the exit beside the Commissioner while asking "Did he say where he was taking her?" Gordon shakes his head violently while whispering "No, of course not! The Joker is a freak, but he's not an idiot! What we need is a good plan…" Batman shakes his head and whispers "No more plans…"

Gordon chuckles and says, "…You're starting to sound like him." Batman nods and continues angrily "We have to start thinking like this guy…if we don't…it will be too late. Too late for Rachel…too late for Gotham. No more plans!" Gordon sighs as he watches the Batman run away, hop on his motorcycle, and drive off.

Gordon bites his lip and whispers to the unconscious officers "No more plans…. well…I'm sure he won't get very far." He abruptly clears his throat and shouts to the cops "Up! Get up! We've got work to do!"

Authors Note:

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