Quick note: The Joker is random. We all know this, so don't be alarmed if he excitedly gets off onto a totally strange subject. He's in a very strange state of mind during all of this and I promise it will be explained later.
Enjoy the chapter!
Love,
Claire Napier
This chapter is dedicated to Heath Ledger, who died far too soon. R.I.P. Joker.
The sound of Alfred cleaning woke Bruce the next morning. He could still hear the Joker's words in his ear despite his efforts to silence them. Those words were even in his dreams. He decided straight away not to think about it, however, and got up from the ground. His neck hurt only a bit as he stood up, then when he took a step aches and pains hit him like a ton of bricks. He had never slept in the Batsuit before and now he knew why.
Sighing, he looked at the large pile of furniture and proceeded to put it all back in its place. He couldn't help but laugh at himself. Being scared of something that was behind a locked door. It was unlike him. Just as he put the last chair back, he heard footsteps behind him.
"Good morning...um."
Alfred looked Bruce up and down with a strange expression on his face.
"Don't ask."
"Wasn't going to, sir."
Bruce smiled and took off his mask. The cold air felt good on his face.
"Where are you off to?" Bruce asked, running his fingers through his hair.
"I have to tend to our guest."
A hot feeling surged through Bruce's entire body. All of a sudden, he couldn't move a muscle. He couldn't even form coherent sentences.
"Ah. Forgot."
Alfred looked as if he were about to comment, but the phone beat him to the punch. After a few rings he finally regained mobility. Bruce held up a finger and picked up the phone.
"Yes?...uh-huh...on my way now," He hung up the phone and looked at his butler, "I'm needed downtown. Can you...?"
"Sir."
"Yes, Alfred I know you're perfectly fine on your own. It's him I'm worried about."
With that, Bruce ran up the stairs to change.
Alfred sighed and picked up the tray he had set on the table. He was a little unnerved as well, but he couldn't let Bruce know that. He had enough on his plate as it was.
After knocking, he pulled open the door and stepped through.
"Good morning. Sleep well, sir?"
The Joker's laugh echoed loudly and a tray full of dishes could be heard clattering to the ground.
"Ha! I don't sleep. But as far as my experience went, you have one of the most amazing ceilings to stare at. Never the same spot twice."
Alfred just nodded and bent down to pick up the scattered plates. This wasn't going to be as easy as he thought.
"So tell me. Where has our dear Batsy run off to?" The Joker asked, looking around at the walls.
"Master Br-..."
Alfred quickly stopped himself. The Joker turned suddenly to Alfred and smiled.
"What was that now?"
"Batman will be back later. Much later today."
"That's wonderful and all, but what were you saying just now?"
The Joker and Alfred just looked at each other for a moment. Alfred didn't know quite what to say. He figured the best choice was to ignore that it had ever happened.
"Actually sir, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you about something,"
Being polite to this man felt strange to Alfred. He had caused so much turmoil in Bruce's life, yet he was sitting right there in the Batcave. But unless Bruce told him otherwise, he would have to be civil with the Joker. And besides, Alfred was curious.
"Shoot."
"Is there anything wrong with you? Medically speaking of course."
"Aren't you a butler? Awfully straightforward of you to ask. No manners! But, I'll answer anyway. I am fit as a fiddle, doc!"
Lies. Alfred knew it. Just look at who he lived with. He could spot a lie from fifty miles away.
"Just checking sir. Do you need anything?"
"Ah, world peace. And some water while you're at it."
The Joker was left alone in the Batcave, laughing at his own joke.
.C.N.
Bruce returned later that evening, tired and irritated. All day long he couldn't pay attention to anything anybody was saying. The current situation back at Wayne Manor was occupying his thoughts both in and out of the suit.
Alfred was waiting in the foyer when he stepped through the door.
"How was he Al?"
"Just peachy, sir."
"That great, huh?"
"He's been asking for you all day. I would go in there and see what he wants if I were you, sir."
Bruce sighed and put on the Batsuit. Alfred watched him go through the door to the Batcave and immediately heard the Joker squeal loudly.
"Batsy!"
Alfred shook his head and walked to his room. Unbeknownst to Bruce, he had been running some tests on the Joker. While living with the great detective Batman, Alfred had picked up a few things concerning science. It was coming in handy now as he was looking at the tests he had run on the Joker's blood. Some things just weren't meshing. He had a feeling that something was up, but he couldn't be too sure. He wasn't that good. Sending it to a professional would clear things up.
He gathered his test materials and packed them in a box that was to be sent off the next day. Alfred estimated that they would know in about two weeks. Subconsciously he wondered when he was going to tell Bruce that something was wrong with the Joker.
.C.N.
"Batsy!"
Batman shut the door and pulled a chair up to the Joker's bed.
"On the night you fell, what were you going to tell me?" He asked.
"What you're not going to ask me how my day was? Well it was particularly boring. Where did you go anyway?"
"Business."
"Oh I see. But I imagine that you don't go out onto the streets dressed up as a flying rat do you? You know your butler let something slip today, dear. Who are you underneath the mask?"
Batman froze and looked at the Joker. The Joker was looking right back at him, a slight smile in his eyes. He had just thrown Batman a curve ball and he knew it.
What does he know about me?
He silently panicked. Did the Joker know who he was? No, not possible. Or was it?
"Aw, hit a nerve there, did I?" The Joker asked playfully.
The air in the Batcave grew colder as the two looked at each other.
"What are you trying to pull?"
"Oh if only you knew."
Before Batman could say anything back, the Joker was up and in his face. Batman jumped and gasped, causing the chair to tip backwards. As a result, the ground connected with the back of his head with a loud crack, knocking the breath out of him. A laugh rang in his ears as he lay stunned on the floor. Things were going in and out of focus and he was rapidly losing consciousness.
The Joker's face loomed above his own, his hands hovering near the edge of Batman's mask.
"I could end you right now."
Batman knew it was true. He was so naive. Thinking the Joker would magically stop being a criminal while he was there. He had taken too big of a chance and now it was coming back around to get him.
The Joker leaned forward and opened his mouth slightly. Batman could feel his breath against his lips. Every time the Joker exhaled, a tingle shot down Batman's spine.
"What...are you doing...?" Batman breathed.
No answer was given. Neither of them moved at all, each aware of the other. All the while, Batman was fighting to stay awake. The blow to his head, however, was making it difficult. And the fact that the Joker was on top of him was not making it any easier. His body was receiving too much stimulation from too many places.
The Joker smiled as he watched Batman's eyes open and close. It wouldn't take much to make him lose it. He bit his bottom lip and held the side of Batman's face.
"Hit me," The Joker whispered.
Batman couldn't hold on anymore. The Joker's smiling face went slowly out of focus before everything went blank.
When Batman opened his eyes again, it was pitch black. He was still on the floor of the Batcave and he could see the chair lying near him. His hands flew up to his face in panic, but he found his mask was still there. Despite him completely fainting, the Joker had left his mask untouched. Something was definitely up.
With some difficulty he stood up and glanced at the Joker's bed. He was lying in it, asleep. Batman smiled, then shook his head. Obviously the injury to his head was making him loony. Yes, that's it. He looked once again at the Joker's sleeping body and fought the urge to grin. This was all too strange to be happening.
Maybe it was a dream.
But his throbbing head was telling him otherwise.
He flung the door open and trudged up the stairs to his room. The Batsuit was left in a heap on the floor as he fell onto his bed. He felt like screaming bloody murder, but decided against it. Bruce was pretty sure Alfred wouldn't appreciate that at three o'clock in the morning. Trying to distract himself from thinking about his headache, his thoughts turned to the Joker.
For some reason, the feelings he had in the Batcave were gone. It was as if walking out of the door had caused some odd reaction in his brain. He only felt it when he was in the Batcave.
No.
He only felt it when he was Batman.
It was all becoming clearer now. Sure, he had always known that he felt differently as Batman than he did as Bruce Wayne, but he hadn't realized how extreme the differences were. As he was lying in his bed, he was utterly disgusted. Just the thought of the Joker made him want to gag. But, it had been different in the Batcave. He could remember the feeling, but just the ghost of it. When they were on the floor, so close to each other that Bruce had been able to hear the Joker's heartbeat echoing in his head.
He rubbed his eyes and tried to quiet his racing mind. His body was ready for sleep, but his mind just kept going. It was light outside his window before he finally fell asleep.
.C.N.
"Sir. Wake up."
Bruce blinked a few times, then looked at Alfred.
"What?"
"It's six o' clock in the evening."
"What?!"
He sat up quickly only to be met with a throbbing pain in his temple. Groaning, he continued slowly, trying to get dressed. Alfred watched him with a concerned look on his face. Ever since the Joker had gotten there, Bruce had been in pain.
Coincidence?
"Did you ask him about the note, sir?"
"Tried, but he changed the subject before I could get an answer. Then he...agh my head! Oh nevermind." Bruce said.
"Then he what?"
"He got up and it startled me. So the chair I was sitting on fell backwards and I hit my head on the ground. Completely blacked me out."
Alfred looked confused.
"And he didn't take off your mask?"
"That's what I asked myself. It doesn't make any sense! He had the chance, so why didn't he?"
"I'm sure it makes sense in his mind, sir."
Bruce laughed under his breath and walked downstairs. It looked perfectly normal. You would never have guessed that a madman was taking shelter there.
"Well I should go. The commissioner wanted to see me about something. Be back soon."
After the door shut, Alfred rushed into the Batcave. The Joker jumped and opened his mouth to comment on Alfred's rudeness.
"Sir, I have to take another x-ray if you don't mind."
The Joker waved his hand as a signal for Alfred to go ahead. This time, Alfred noticed, the Joker complained and commented more. But this could also be because he had been unconscious the first time. Alfred noticed that he had liked the Joker so much more when he was unconscious.
After the ordeal, Alfred took the x-rays and held them up to the light. He gasped and they all fluttered to the ground.
"Oh my god."
.C.N.
The Joker hummed as he looked around the Batcave. He had memorized every crevice, rock, and machine. To put it bluntly, he was bored. So he decided to think about Batman instead.
"Oh Batsy. I miss you." He said aloud.
A disturbed look appeared on his face. To his ears, his words had actually sounded sincere. He had always thought that when he said things like that, he had just been trying to get under Batman's skin. Yes, he loved Batman, but he had never felt the feeling that accompanied the sentiment. It was a sickening feeling.
"Huh."
He sat up, rather amazed at himself. Imagine, the Joker capable of feelings. As he thought about it more and more he realized that he had always had these feelings, they were just disregarded. To him, they had never been feelings, they were a way of life. The Joker would say something of romantic origins, Batman would hit him, he would hit back, then he would be taken back to Arkham.
Bing, bang, boom, everyone goes home happy.
He giggled to himself. When more thoughts came up he stopped.
"Haven't I had this revelation before?" He asked the walls.
Ah, yes. Last month when Harley had broken the Joker's souvenir Batarang he had come to a conclusion. He had decided that he was, if there had ever been any doubts, Batsexual. Really odd how he forgot these sort of things.
He tried again to laugh at himself but found he couldn't. For some reason, he just didn't want to laugh at that moment. Serious emotions were filling his head and he couldn't get them to go away. Silently, he hung his head and hugged his knees. Suddenly the world felt very cold.
And this time it wasn't funny.
Some really good stuff is coming up next chapter! Stay tuned!