The Emperor's New Clothes

Disclaimer: Property rights belong to Bisco Hatori.
Author's Notes: Idea bubbles. I swear I'll get around to BTOP soon.
Summary: Tamaki needs a new spring wardrobe and the twins are more than happy to help.


When the twins first proposed it, Tamaki had readily agreed.

Kyouya hadn't objected because he had been busy tallying the amount of revenue such a venture could potentially bring—and it was substantial, to be sure.

After all, it's not everyday that the progenies of the Hitachiin clan offer their personal styling services. And really, who could have refused such a plaintive cry for attention and praise?

Or so one Tamaki Suoh thought when he proudly announced the Host Club's Spring Fashion Show.

Haruhi, on the other hand, remained highly suspicious of the twins' covert actions. Though they claimed to be working tirelessly on their latest line, she felt uneasy about the sly smiles they exchanged with each other when they thought no one was looking.

Unfortunately, any attempt to investigate the going-ons inside the extra dressing room was blocked as the twins kept it locked--guarded with their personal attendants. Since none of the other club members were particularly eager to snoop around, Haruhi sighed and resolved to wait and see what crazy scheme the twins had cooked up this time.

Her curiosity was not left hanging long because a week after Tamaki's announcement, the much anticipated fashion show finally arrived.

Kyouya was busy collecting tickets while Hunny and Mori were escorting guests into seats which had been specially set out for the fashion show.

With Tamaki as the male model, tickets had sold out very quickly, forcing many girls to either blackmail or bribe their peers to secure a seat. Luckily there had been no missing persons report filed yet.

Haruhi was kept busy weaving through the crowd of well-dressed women handing out flutes of pricy champagne, still unable to shake the feeling of discomfiture. The feeling of anxiousness grew when the lights dimmed and the excited chatter died down as students hurried to take their seats.

The stage lights turned on, cuing the start of the fashion show and the twins walked out in a dramatic display of smoke and colored lights to the applause of the audience. "Welcome and thank you for coming," they bowed simultaneously.

"There has been much speculation about the newest Hitachiin line," one of the twins began smoothly, as the audience full of women sat hanging on his every word.

"And we're here to show you that it lives up to even the wildest rumor," his brother finished, with a wink.

There were some titters as a first year girl fainted in the back.

"Today, we unveil a company secret so closely guarded that no one outside of ourselves and the president has heard of it," Kaoru announced. "The Emperor's cloth."

"What might that be, you ask?" Hikaru asked in a low stage whisper. "The Emperor's cloth is special silk spun by rare silkworms that have been raised by the holiest dervishes in India. The cloth has been blessed by mystics and colored with royal dye to make the intricate patterns more vibrant and beautiful."

"Furthermore, the holy properties of the silk and dye render the cloth invisible to all, except those with the purest and noblest of hearts," Kaoru continued solemnly, picking up from where his brother left off. "We are excited to have such a gathering of pure and noble hearted ladies, able to gaze upon the Emperor's cloth and appreciate its magnificent beauty."

"We worked day and night without rest to make a magnificent wardrobe worth of our Tono."

"We are now pleased to present our newest collection: The Emperor," they finished simultaneously.

Both stepped back with a flourish to reveal a regal looking Tamaki clad with nothing but his…

"Boxers?" one girl in the front whispered loudly to her neighbor.

"Don't be silly," another girl murmured. "He's obviously wearing the Emperor's cloth."

"But I don't see it," someone else complained. She was immediately shushed by her friend.

One by one, each girl blushed as they realized that they could not see the wondrous cloth that made up Tamaki's clothing. Each tried to think what could have made her heart so black and wicked that she could not see even see such a simple thing as the Emperor's cloth.

At this point, Tamaki was looking at the audience in a rather concerned manner. The twins had assured him that the clothes were very beautiful. He, himself, had been unable to see it either, but he could bear to disappoint his devoted subjects by admitting his descent into evil. So he had chosen the lesser of two evils and lied.

But now, he was wondering if that had been such a wise decision. If the audience couldn't see anything then that meant he was standing in front of a room full of ladies clad in nothing but his…

"Ahem," Haruhi coughed to get everyone's attention. "I must say that the twins have outdone themselves with their latest piece of work. The dress shirt with lace ruffles and intricate gold threading goes very well with the midnight blue trousers stitched with silver patterns, wouldn't you agree ladies?"

The girls showed visible signs of relief, grateful for having something to work with, and began to loudly praise the Hitachiin twins' genius and impeccable taste.

"I wouldn't have believed it, if I hadn't seen it myself."

"I wonder if I can get one specially made…"

"Truly a work of art!"

Amidst the clamoring and calls for an encore from the audience, Tamaki discreetly turned to the twins and whispered, "I thought you said this was a green pullover?"