Authors Note:

Well, this is probably my longest chapter in a while.

I hope you all like it, and I just want to thank all the people who reviewed last time.

Thanks again!

Chapter 16:

It had been seconds since Bruce, Harley and the Commissioner had left the room when Gordon got a craving for a quick breakfast. Him leaving, causes Harley and Bruce to be alone in the hallway outside the room Rachel is recovering in.

Bruce presses his left ear and left side of his face tightly to the wall, so he can try to hear through it. Harley watches him for a few seconds with a smirk written across her face. A few more seconds pass and she starts to get annoyed with the silence so she asks Bruce "Any luck?" Bruce shakes his head once and then sighs with irritation in his tone "No. I can't hear anything!" Harley smiles and replies back to him with a flat expression "Well, these walls are soundproof."

Bruce rolls his eyes and moves his face away after screaming loudly "Damn it!" Harley leans against the white hospital wall and says softly "Just let them have their five minutes." Bruce turns around briskly and gives Harleen Quinzel a horrid look. Harley crosses her arms across her chest and whispers roughly to break the silence "By the way, your welcome."

Bruce looks down at the floor and asks in an annoyed manner "For what?" Harley smirks at how ridiculous Mr. Wayne is being to her so she whispers back with rage "Umm…how about for saving your Bat ass!" Bruce's eyes widen and he whispers after a few seconds of shock "I knew it! But…wait….how do you know?"

Harley sits herself down on the cold tiled floor and replies, "It's a long story Mr. Wayne." Bruce sits down beside her and whispers interested "I have five minutes." Harley chuckles at this and then she starts to explain, "Well, fine. Last year I graduated from University with high honors because of a paper that I wrote on the Batman. You…" Bruce covers her mouth with his hand, lets go and whispers "Quiet."

Harley nods and then continues her story "He…. had just started out then, and well I got really interested of the morals of…such a man. So, I did more research than I was supposed to and realized that the Batman must have money in order to build such contraptions as the Bat mobile. The Batman must also have a round chin, brown eyes, and a lot of spare time, and I put all these together and found…well, you."

Bruce stares off into space for a second and then asks puzzled "How did you know it was me? I mean, there must be many other wealthy men in this city." Harley smiles at this, turns to look at Bruce and reaches out her hands to touch his cheek while explaining "Yes, of course. But, none of them have your eyes." She quickly moves her hand away and continues "…and many of them did not fit the physical requirements. I mean, most of them are over sixty, with a beer belly. So, I figured, it's the young handsome one."

Bruce chuckles at this, and then he looks over at Harley and says "The young, handsome one, huh?" Harley blushes and then Bruce smiles and says slyly "Don't worry, Miss. Quinzel your not so hard on the eyes yourself." Harley smiles at this and then looks down at her hands. A sudden silence deafens the air but Bruce breaks it by saying "Thank you for not telling anyone about me, and for saving my Bat ass, as you put it."

Harley nods and replies casually "It's no problem, Mr. Wayne. I figured that the Batman wore a mask for a reason." Bruce sighs and whispers to Harley sadly "Yes…but sometimes I wish I didn't. I just wish everyone knew who I was…what I did for this city. They all think I am just some spoiled rich kid." Harley chuckles and says softly in return "I know what you mean. Every one always thinks I'm an idiot because I'm blonde. So, I went to University, got a PHD in half the average time, and came here, to prove myself."

Bruce smiles at this and says softly "It's good to have someone to relate to, Miss. Quinzel. Or Harley…do you mind if I call you that?" Harley shakes her head in response while saying "Not if you don't mind me calling you Bruce." Bruce shrugs his shoulders and replies back "No, that's fine. That is what my parents named me." Harley smiles and then asks out of pure curiosity "Alright, well, Bruce. Why exactly did you choose Bats? Did you have some sort of blinding illness as a child or do you have some sort of scary sexual attraction to blind flying rodents?"

- - - --

"What did you just say?" Rachel's eyes widen with pure alarm. Her hands start to shake so she places them under the covers, but the Joker uses his one free arm to take her hand in his while saying as nicely as he can "You heard what I said. Don't you play dumb with me, honey-bunch. So tell me, how long have you and your little inquisitive mind known?"

Rachel gulps and replies sourly "He is not the Batman!" The Joker massages her hand a little too roughly while saying "Oh, don't lie to me Rachel. You know I don't like liars. And plus, you even know your not a good liar, sweet pea. Now, why don't you and your pretty fragile lips admit that Brucey is the Batman?" The Joker licks his bottom lip and Rachel watches this before she stutters out "..How…what…just.. How in the hell do you know?"

The Joker giggles at her admittance. Well, that's all he wanted to know. Now it was time for a little fun, and if he timed it correctly…well, the Bat would go batty. The Joker removes his hand off hers and then places it on her thigh. Rachel gasps at the cool feeling of his hand underneath the hospital uniform. The Joker smiles and leans in closely to Rachel while whispering, "You know…I've always wanted to play Doctor."

Rachel whimpers, still nervous at the fact the Joker now knows Batman's true identity. But the Joker leans in and starts biting on her neck while saying "We were interrupted last night, beautiful. How about we pick up where we left off?" Rachel pushes him away slightly and says, "No, we have to talk about Bruce." The Joker rolls his eyes as Rachel continues "Now, how exactly…"

The Joker interrupts her with a rough kiss, straining his handcuffed hand in the process. Rachel breaks the kiss and whispers, "Joker, please." The Joker growls at her impertinence, and crawls on top of her, careful this time not to hurt his hand. He then removes the covers off Rachel, and places his free hand under Rachel's uniform and starts rubbing the outline of her underwear with his thumb.

Rachel gasps at his touch and the Joker places his head on the crook of her neck and whispers in her ear "Wanna play army?" Rachel's eyebrow wrinkles in confusin but before she can ask what that is; the Joker uses his free arm to spread her legs apart. Rachel asks in shock "Joker? What are you doing?"

The Joker chuckles at this and then crawls down the hospital bed and starts licking around the top line of her underwear. Rachel moans softly and then whispers "Please…" The Joker stops, pushes the Hospital uniform upwards, and asks through a wide grin "Please what?" He then licks up her stomach and whispers "Fuck you? Oh that, Miss. Dawes, I can do." Rachel gasps as the Joker unexpectedly kisses her harshly.

Rachel closes her eyes and then moves her fingers towards his new purple shirt. She starts unbuttoning the buttons and the Joker asks in a husky tone "Oh…eager are we? I like that." Rachel finishes the buttons and removes the shirt, but then the handcuffs stop her from removing it completely. She chuckles and says with a hint of irony "There is always something in the way."

The Joker shakes his head and kisses her again and Rachel sinks into the kiss while her hands ravish his unclothed chest. The Joker's eyebrows cock upwards from the feel of her soft hands upon his naked skin. The Joker then uses his free hand to rip Rachel's hospital dress down the middle, and he kisses roughly and horribly slowly around her breasts. Rachel bites her bottom lip to keep from moaning, but she cannot contain herself so she gasps out his name.

"Time's up!" Gordon says as he opens the door, before he sees the scene before him. The Joker stops kissing Rachel's chest and looks towards the door to see Gordon, Bruce and Harleen standing there in shock. Harley turns around and covers her mouth to keep from laughing. Rachel looks up at the scene before her and whispers softly "Oh God…this can't be good."

She pauses, looks towards Bruce and says "Bruce, say something." Bruce's bottom lip is now quivering and he quickly runs up the bed and pushes the Joker off of it, twisting his handcuffed arm in the process. Bruce then punches the Joker in his bare stomach causing him to giggle in pain. Bruce starts yelling, "You think that's funny? Well, I'll give you more to laugh about!"

Bruce holds the Jokers head and then slams it against the wooden bed frame. Rachel gasps and shouts "Bruce, stop it!" Harley turns around and asks Gordon "Should I get help?" Gordon shakes his head and goes up to Bruce who is continuously hitting the Joker. The Commissioner grabs Bruce by the arms and screams "Control yourself, Mr. Wayne!"

Bruce breathes in and out deeply, and then he starts laughing as he sees that the Joker's scars are bleeding. Rachel gasps and wipes away some of the blood with her finger and then she asks him "Joker, are you okay?" The Joker chuckles in return, grabs her finger, and licks the blood off before muttering "Uh huh, beautiful. Actually, he did me a favor. I needed to reapply lipstick anyways…well...thanks to Ba...Bruce...now I've got some."

His voice cracks with the last part and Bruce says, still being held back by Gordon "I'd be happy to get you some more. The brand is called 'Your gonna get your ass kicked for touching my girl!'" The Joker smirks, and wipes away the remainder of his blood while saying "That's a really long name, they should have cut it down to something short and sweet, like, midnight dream. Or even…Candy Pie…that would have been a good name, nice ring to it too…. hmmm...don't ya think B?"

Bruce bites his bottom lip and screams "Your gonna die one day!" The Joker laughs at this, reaches for Rachel's hand and says back "Yeah, well we all do. Now, listen Brucey… I think I deserve an apology. Don't you think honey?" He looks at Rachel for the last part and she nods.

Bruce laughs and wiggles out of Gordon's hands while saying "Your crazy! Both of you!" Harley bites her lip and whispers, "Actually, we don't use that word here. It disturbs some patients, I'd prefer you say...different." The Joker nods his head and then says "I'm not…crazy, B. I'm just….well…I'm just what Rachel likes to fuck."

Rachel gasps at this and Bruce's eyes widen in terror. Gordon gulps and says "Okay…I think that's enough for one day. Joker, you're coming with me. Rachel, you're staying her. Harley, I will see you tomorrow morning for your session with the clown. Bruce, let it go. If she doesn't like you…be a man about it. Don't act so spoiled, just because you always get what you want doesn't mean you have to have Rachel too."

Bruce smirks angrily at this and says, "I can't believe your taking the psychopaths side!" Gordon shrugs his shoulders and says, "Life's strange, isn't it? Well…" The Commissioner walks over to the Joker, uncuffs his hand from the bed frame, and then cuffs them together while saying "Say your good bye, we're leaving now." The Joker whispers something in the Commissioners ear.

Gordon laughs and then says, "I don't know, Joker." Bruce rolls his eyes and then marches out the room while screaming angrily. Harley sighs and winces as the door slams. The Joker finishes his private conversation with Gordon and then he takes him out the room while muttering "Bye ladies." The Joker licks away the remainder of the blood around his lips before saying "Harley, be a doll face and bring me some real make up tomorrow…. huh? And ugh…beautiful…. until next time." The Joker places a soft kiss on Rachel's neck, winks and then Gordon drags him out of the room.

Harley closes the door a few seconds later and says "Well, that was…. something." Rachel keeps on staring at the door and then she touches her neck where the Joker kissed it last. Harley smiles and asks, "So...is he a good kisser?" Rachel sighs and states, ignoring her question, "I wonder what he said to Gordon at the end."

Harley smiles and responds, "Oh, I heard. I have some really good ears. " She laughs and then continues "He wanted Gordon to send you a dozen purple roses tonight from some guy name Jack. Hmmm… Poor guy, the Joker's probably gonna kill him." Rachel smiles, shakes her head and whispers, "No, he can't." Harley's eyebrows knit in confusion as she asks "And why's that?" Rachel replies back questionably "Because he's already dead. Well, at least, I thought he was."

Authors Note:

So...what'd you think?

Hopefully you liked this one. I wrote it during Psychology class, LOL. And then just re-typed it.

I hated this chapter, I think its probably my worst in a while, but oh well.

This was sort of filler, but I promise you, something better will happen next chapter.

Please Review.

Thanks so much!

Take Care!