ByakuMama
ByakuMama, RenjiPapa
Chapter Three: THE News
Byakuya was certainly feeling dizzy at the moment. He felt like he was going to die. In fact he wanted to die. Who won't want to if they were in his position? He was a perfectly straight man, before he met Renji that is. And now, of all things, he just had to fall in love with his stupid, idiotic, lazy lieutenant, and land himself with a … … baby, no two babies. Just the word made him want to faint again. He had been hoping to be a father since young, but all his hopes died when he saw Renji. But this, it was unexpected. What will everyone say when he gets big?
His head, it was going to burst any moment. He let out a small whimper. A hand was laid on his hair. Byakuya struggled to open his eyes, his eyelids felt so heavy. Something red came into his view. Renji…
Renji was let into the room, still feeling very dizzy thanks to a certain midget, with Rukia who was still dragging Ichigo by his collar by Unohana. Unohana said in a soft voice, "He fainted again, he received some very… shocking news. But other than that, nothing is too bad."
"So what is wrong with him exactly? Please tell me Unohana taichou!" Renji begged (for the first time in his life to someone other than his evil Byachan)
"I can't say even though you his lieutenant. It is quite personal. After all, you are just his lieutenant." Unohana replied before leaving the room.
Just his lieutenant huh? One day she will understand. But for now… with that, our favorite pineapple made his way to his Taichou bed. A whimper escaped his Byachan's lips.
Is he in serious pain? I feel so useless, not being able to do anything. Renji thought sadly as he laid a hand on Byakuya's hair.
Byakuya stirred a little before sitting up right all of a sudden.
"Renji, I need to speak to you, right now, and privately." Byakuya said alittle forcefully. "Rukia, leave the room with Ichigo, please."
"Hai!" Rukia said before dragging Ichigo out and closing the door behind her.
¬In the corridor¬
"Hey Rukia, what do you think they are talking about?" the near death Ichigo asked hoarsely.
"Oh so you are finally up. If you don't want to die right now, shut your big fat mouth. If you dare to go listen to their private conversation, I will personally make sure that you will never ever see another day." Rukia snapped with a glint in her eye.
Ichigo gulped nervously, "Yes Kuchiki sama!"
¬Back in the ward¬
"What is wrong with you Bya-chan?" Renji asked.
"I am, we are, I mean I am pre… pregnant." Byakuya muttered.
"What do you mean? You are PREGNANT?!" Renji screamed.
Silence…
"But, you can't be! You are a MALE for god damn's sake!"
Silence
"Byakuya, Byakuya, look at me properly. Tell me how you feel right now." Renji panicked.
"Renji?" Byakuya mumbled, looking at Renji.
"Hmm?"
"I don't want to be fat." Byakuya mumbled.
Silence
"I am serious. What will everyone say when I am no longer fit? Will you let me do my duties as a taichou? And you won't like more when I am fat!"
"WHAT THE HELL Byakuya? I will of course still like you when you are fat. And when I asked you how you felt I meant emotionally! Not whether you are worried about your size or not!" Renji screamed.
"Emotionally I am still perfectly fine, except the fact that I am a male and I am getting pregnant." Byakuya snapped. "And plus the fact that we are getting TWINS! And I am getting so god damn hungry that if I don't get food I am going to KILL you, hang you up, pickle your dead body and serve it to the FREAKING elders for dinner!"
Renji shuddered in fear. Did he just witness a mood swing? But twins? That was something new. Hurray! He was gonna be a father of not one child, but two! That was certainly something worth celebrating for. He will invite everyone over to the sixth division captain quarters, have a good drink with them with Byakuya. Hang on, screw that idea, pregnant women, no men, should not drink and Byakuya doesn't like social gatherings. Renji looked down only to see a pair of grey eyes glaring at him.
"I am warning you Renji, if I don't get food, you will…"
Oh yeah must get food this instant!
With that the sixth division lieutenant zoomed out of the ward to get food from goodness knows where from to get food for his pregnant boyfriend (girlfriend).
Rukia and Ichigo watched Renji as he zoomed past them. Rukia sighed, "What were they shouting about just now? Might as well go in now, Kurosaki."
"Hai! Kurosaki to be!" Ichigo replied with a smirk.
"What did you just call me? You one hell ass of an idiot?" Rukia yelled, not in the least demure anymore.
Ichigo pretended to look innocent. "I just called you a Kurosaki to be, that's all."
Rukia's blushed deepened. "I swear, on the head of Yama that I will never become a Kurosaki!"
"Oh we shall see about that, shall we?" Ichigo replied. "Lets go and see your onichan"
Ichigo was replied with a nice big bonk on his head. Perhaps keeping silence would be better.
Byakuya looked up when he felt his precious baby sister and an idiot enter his room. He scowled at Ichigo but softened at the sight of his anxious sister who approached him.
"What's wrong Onichan?" Rukia asked anxiously.
Ichigo snorted. "Probably some crazy shit about him being pregnant because he is a girl."
Rukia glared daggers at the oranged haired boy who was more than a century younger than her. "Onichan would you like me to kill him for you?"
"As much as I will like you to kill him, but killing him will mean breaking rule 1098, and his statement was partially correct."
"What? You mean you are a girl onichan? Oops, I mean Oneechan!" Rukia squeaked in mortification.
Byakuya sighed, "No, Rukia, I mean the pregnant part."
Rukia looked even more mortified. Her mouth was opening and closing, reminding Byakuya of a goldfish."
Behind her, Ichigo burst into laughter. "How do you feel like now, Byakuhime? (Byaku princess)"
Rukia seemed to gather herself and turned around and punched Ichigo's jaw. KO!
The two siblings glared at the the knocked out male and sighed simultaneously.
"Take no notice of him, onichan, so you mean that you are pregnant, but you are not a woman?" Rukia questioned.
Byakuya nodded wearily.
"You mean that I am going to be the aunt of a baby?" Rukia certainly looked very excited that she was going to be an aunt.
"Twins." Byakuya mumbled.
"What? Twins? Hurray! To be the aunt of two children! I will teach them how to sing, dance, and DRAW CHAPPY THE BUNNY! Congrats Onichan!" Rukia screamed in happiness as she hugged her brother.
"Rukia, I can't breath…" Byakuya gasped.
"Oh oops, sorry! You should look happier onichan! The father is Renji I suppose?" Rukia said with a knowing twinkle in her eye as she let go of her onichan.
Byakuya blushed as he nodded.
"I will leave you to rest then, Onichan. I really need to see what my Taichou and third seats are up to now! See you later!" Rukia waved as she slung Ichigo over her back easily and disappeared.
Byakuya's stomach grumbled. Byakuya growled, "Renji…"