Every member of the team was arrayed around the living room. Engineer was at his usual spot against the wall, surrounded by machine parts and grease. Soldier was seated next to him, cleaning his various weapons. Sniper was sitting on the arm of the couch, looking bored. Scout and I both were leaning against what served as our kitchen counter.

Demo paced the floor in a fury.

"Yer sayin' what now!?"

Any man less brave, or perhaps more sane, would have flinched away from the rampaging and highly inebriated possessor of sticky bombs. Scout is less than sane. "I'm just givin' you the facts, man."

I took a long drag and relished both the flavor of the smoke and the look on Demo's face. "Scout is correct," I told the already frothing man, "I got in touch with an old contact and confirmed it."

"I don't believe it," Demo declared, sinking down on the couch and upsetting Sniper's position.

"Yes," I assured, a somewhat sadistic smirk forming on my lips, "and, according to Scout, she's a double D."

"At least," the boy enthusiastically added.

Demo produced a bottle and took an unhealthy swig. I idly wondered if the first aid station could treat liver failure.

With the chuckle out of the way it was time to face reality as I continued the report. My investigation yielded the troubling news that this Demogirl was as crazy, and effective, as our Demo. Apparently her vapid nature was similar to the Scotsman's constant state of inebriation in that it was falsely disarming. Her addition to the REDs meant more injuries that we couldn't heal; their Gasmask already proved that the first aid station couldn't handle burns too well. He, or it, at least stayed in their base as a defender so I used to be the only one at high risk for the blaze. They'd be fools not to use this Demogirl in the actual field of battle.

Without a seriously improved medical situation, we were screwed. I didn't have to put that little fact into words; the room sobered before I'd even finished. Well, except Demo (who started chugging faster) but no surprise there.

"Whelp," Engineer said, looking grim even with his goggles in place, "do we have any bright ideas to get us out of this conundrum?"

Scout jerked his thumb towards me. His ever present grin was already gaining strength, as he already knew the plan. Since it was exceptionally insane he, of course, loved it.

I took a drag. The room stared.

"Well," Sniper said with his usual distain, "get to the point, ya fancy bloody wuss."

I ignored him, for the most part. While I'm not in any was 'above' cruelty, I did understand the weight settling into everyone's stomachs. However thin and chancy my plan was, we'd still have better odds with it than with sending another supply request to HQ.

"As has been previously discussed, the RED medic is interested in their sniper. This was confirmed today."

"I don' know what's sadder," Scout interjected, "how obvious the doc was or how oblivious rifle-head was."

I flicked my ashes and continued. "And, as has been proven, I can still infiltrate their base through the air vents."

"You said those things don't go anywhere important, right?" Engineer asked.

I nodded. "They were, sadly, intelligent enough to make the control areas inaccessible. All the doors will set off the alarm if tampered with and impassable obstacles have been placed in the airways. However, I can only guess due to budget restrictions, at last check they have not closed off the vents in their private rooms."

"Well there's a bloody fine idea. Spy your way in, shank the wanker, and then get your ass blown off once the alarm goes."

Sniper was referring to the tag monitors the RED Medic received on some experimental visa. Small disks worn at a pulse point or over the heart that sent a signal to their alarm system if the heart rate was out of the ordinary. When they first got the prototypes Sniper and Demo had some fun throwing rocks at their windows as it were, the noise raising their heart rates enough to set the alarm off in the dead of night. Three months of tweaking later and the devices could differentiate between startled and under attack. They'd certainly be able to tell when the heart stopped beating a few seconds after a blade was inserted between the ribs.

We intercepted one message that revealed I was the specific reason for the things. I would almost feel proud if they didn't make my job so fucking difficult.

"I'm not going to be stabbing anyone in the back," now there's a phrase that was just strange to hear coming from my lips, "I'm simply going to be... paying a visit to the good doctor."

"Come again?"

Scout interjected again, "He wants to give the guy wet dreams."

A few eyebrows were raised. Demo, heavily intoxicated even by his standards, bellowed what I interpreted as a demand for an explanation.

"I will sneak into their base and enter the medic's room via the vents. I will be disguised as their Sniper." I raised a hand to halt the flood, "Yes, the certain magic that enables me to copy a man's appearance doesn't extend to touch. However, I am of similar enough build to their sniper to do a passing job. With a little help, of course."

I reached into my jacket and pulled out a small metal vial with '34' etched into the side.

"This serum," I explained as I held the vial high, "is designed for use in interrogation sessions. A dose heightens the senses and makes the most out of the interrogator's... questions, as well as the usual amount of mental disorientation to help loosen the lips."

"Wouldn't that trip them gadgets?" Engineer asked as he stroked his chin. At least this time there were only slight smudges left behind and not long black streaks.

I returned the vial to my jacket. "A full dose would almost certainly trip the sensors since the serum causes arrhythmia in most subjects. However, a diluted dose would have an effect more like a mild hallucinogenic, which should fall within their tolerance range."

"He wants to give the doc a roofie." Scout was decidedly too enthusiastic about this plan. And I'd been around Demo for far too long if I could accurately translate his raving into a request of guarantee.

"I can't promise that the drug will work to our advantage. He may be aware enough to see through my disguise or the effect may be strong enough to trigger the sensors." The risk was high, to say the least. Many would mistake my volunteering for such a shaky mission as the action of a team player. Surprisingly, to myself more than anyone, they would be partially correct. I'd almost grown fond of the merry bunch of lunatics.

However, the main reason was the job. It was my duty to 'sneak and destroy' as Scout often put it, and I'd been unable to follow through for quite some time. I was the most expendable and the only one who had a chance of success.

"Nothin' we do has any guarantee," Engineer said at last, still open to the idea but not ready to okay until he had all the facts.. "What're you gonna do once the medic's had some 'a that?"

"Have some fun--"

"Scout, do you mind?"

By that point he knew the difference between 'annoyed' and 'about to butterfly you like a shrimp.' While he was still bouncing back and forth on his heels like a sugar-high kindergartener, he shut up.

I continued. "At this state of... inebriation, the medic will likely think that what comes to pass was a dream. Thus the use of their sniper since he's probably already among the medic's dreams given the blatant looks the man was giving him today."

"So what's the 'sniper' gonna do?"

I flicked away the butt of my cigarette and looked towards the ceiling. This was where the plan became extremely patchy. I chose my words carefully.

"The 'sniper' will seduce the medic."

A round of loudly declared 'what's, and a loud 'fag' from Demo.

I shifted my gaze to Engineer. "Medigun technology is not a field you've mastered--"

"Yet."

"Indeed. But if you had the components to a medigun you could reverse engineer it, correct?"

I could see Engineer was starting to get where I was going with this. One could never tell Demo's state of mind and Sniper still hadn't caught on.

Solider finally had something to say. "How does fraternizing with the enemy accomplish this mission?"

"If the medic opens the safe of his own free will, there will be no alarms. If a member of his own team, a man he's taken with, asks him to open the safe while he's drugged, he might."

"Dangerous," Sniper needlessly commented. I knew full well what kind of risk I was taking.

Engineer sighed heavily and stood, grabbing a half empty beer as he did. "We'll sleep on it. More discussion in the morning. Soldier, first watch."

We all drifted off to our rooms or posts. I knew there was no use arguing and that running off without approval from the team would result in a justified wrench to the skull. By morning's light the decision would be made.