ByakuMama, RenjiPapa

Chapter 7: Aftermath of Confrontation

Rukia crawled into bed and shivered in fear. What in the world will her precious onichan say when he found out that his darling little sister betrayed him? Rukia could already picture the headlines of tomorrow's Sereitei Daily:

Kuchiki Byakuya, Pregnant!

Then in the story, Matsumoto will of course write, "Imoto-chan reveals shocking facts about her onisama!" and of course, "We, as the honorable Shinigami's Women Association (SWA) are investigating this curious truth. At this point, our SWA's very own Special Forces, led by the charming Soi Fong Taichou are delving deeper into this matter…

And then she will die by pink petals, courtesy to a very embarrassed and enraged onichan, and will never get the chance to marry Ichigo.

Hang on… who said anything about wanting to marry that stupid jerk? Rukia thought, feeling very pissed that Ichigo did not save her from the females. He promised that he will always come to save me!

Rukia snuggled her head further into the pillow. Ah, it was a cold night, if only Ichigo was there as her personal heat provider. After all, even onichan had Renji to cuddle with, so, technically, Ichigo should be allowed to snuggle with her. I mean hello, onichan even got pregnant! If Ichigo tried anything funny, he won't live to see the next day, or minute.

Banging her head with her hand, Rukia groaned. Why did her thoughts consist so much of Ichigo?

"Because you are in love with him?" Shirayuki suggested.

Rukia remained silent.

"I mean you hate it when Inoue tries to get his attention. Not that she will ever get it anyway…" Shirayuki smiled knowingly. "Also, I think you should escape to your captain's house… Your dearest onichan might not kill you, but Renji might. If you don't want to stay at your captain's you can always try Ichigo's room!" A flirty giggle was heard.

Rukia pouted. Hey wasn't Shirayuki supposed to be siding her and not teasing her?! Anyway, nothing was going to stop her from wanting to see the trademark "what the hell" look on her onichan's face.

¬The next day¬

Breakfast was a silent affair. Byakuya sat at the head of the table, Renji and Rukia on either sides of him. Rukia silently picked at her food. It was best not to get on her onichan's nerves when the morning paper could be arriving anytime.

A servant knocked on the door before sliding it open nervously. Bowing, she said, "Kuchiki sama, I have brought the paper. It has been ironed."

Rukia rolled her eyes. Of course, their papers have to be ironed. After all, they were nobles.

"Leave it on the table." Byakuya replied.

The servant nervously placed the paper on the table and left quickly.

Renji, gulping his ramen's soup, grabbed the paper and saw the headlines. His eyes widened in shock and mortification. Rukia lowered her eyes nervously…

After what seemed like years, Renji spewed the contents of his mouth. Straight on Rukia and her very unsuspecting onichan.

Byakuya, looking absolutely disgusted, lifted something that looked like a chewed prawn and a piece of seaweed of his hair and blinked. Then it finally registered that Renji had just sprayed his breakfast at him.

"ABARAI!" Byakuya screamed. "How dare you mess up my perfect hair. I spent hours fixing it this morning!"

Rukia continued to stare at her own bowl, not daring to meet the eyes of both Renji and her onichan. She was sure that she will loose control if she saw the scene in front of her.

Not answering Byakuya, Renji shoved the paper in front of Byakuya.

Rukia could not resist looking up. Her onichan was gripping the paper so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. His eyes were wide open. Peeping over Byakuya's shoulders, she read the headline. Suddenly she saw the reason why Renji and Byakuya looked so mortified. However, she could not help thinking that Matsumoto was really a genius in writing.

Kuchiki Byakuya = Uke. Who's the seme?

The tagline was like this.

Kuchiki Byakuya, captain of Squad 6 (wins prize of most organized squad and best paperwork every single year since he became captain) age, 1994, a perfect noble, forever single, and of course, pregnant.

At least I did not mention a single word of Renji. Rukia thought, feeling sorry for her onichan.

"Kuchiki Rukia!" two males bellowed.

Uh oh.

¬Sixth Division¬

Byakuya and Renji swept down the long, pristine corridors of their division, robes billowing. The spiritual power they were giving off was scary. The members of the division bowed low nervously. Already very pissed off that his precious little sister betrayed him when he arrived at his division, he just had to see what his office became.

Overnight the solemn office transformed into a blinking, bright heaven.

¬Flashback¬

"What is this?" These were the first three words that the uke uttered when he stepped into the office.

Every bloody inch of the wall was covered with posters with bright colours that screamed, "I AM A MOMMY!"

The normal ancient calligraphy scrolls were ripped off the wall. As Byakuya stepped in further to inspect the damage, he saw a note on his normally neat table which now held baby diapers and milk bottles.

Eye twitching, he read the note.

Yo! My dearest ex-taichou,

Congratulations on having gotten yourself pregnant! I always thought that you would be on top. But seems like I am wrong! Haha! Seriously, are you really a man? Your newly decorated office is Evil Project 1938, courtesy of our sweet SWA. Remember to thank us. (Smiley)

Your dearest ex-fukutaichou,

Auntie Matsu

(You used to call me that when you were a baby!)

With a dark expression on Byakuya's face, he ripped the paper into many shreds and growled at Renji (who was still gaping), "Get the crap out of my office before I release Senbonzakura!"

"But… they might be useful! I mean, we can use those milk bottles and diapers!" Renji stuttered in fear.

"Chire, Senbon…"

"I will do it immediately! Bya- I mean Taichou!"

¬End of Flashy¬

So Renji had spent most of his morning rearranging his dearest Taichou's poor office while the Taichou stormed off to the tenth division barracks after making sure that his office was back to normal, to wake a still sleeping Auntie Matsu.

¬Auntie Matsu's Room¬

Byakuya opened the sliding door to Matsumoto's room with so much force that it bounced back before he fully entered the room, banging his arm. Byakuya cursed not so subtly (breaking about ninety over Kuchiki rules) as he rubbed his sore arm and entered the room. Matsumoto was curled up on the messy futon. Wrinkling his nose in disgust at the messy room which was littered with sappy romance books, cosmetics, and of course, the sake bottles.

Her collection of books is so horrible. She doesn't even have a single book on Chappy the Bunny. Byakuya thought absent-mindedly as he made his way through the floor to Matsumoto and shook her lightly. (After all, he still was a noble and nobles do not grab people's shoulders and try to break them.)

Matsumoto groaned, "Mou, Taichou! One more hour!"

Byakuya hissed as he raised his voice. "Matsumoto! Up! Now!"

Matsumoto opened an eye lazily and smirked. "Oh, it is you! No wonder, this was the tone of voice when you used to wake me up when I was your fukutaichou! So how's the baby?"

Byakuya narrowed his eyes.

Auntie Matsu smiled angelically back.