I guess you can say this is the other half of the story, this is Kurama's perspective. This is the remix of If I were a Boy by Beyonce featuring . Some of the lyrics don't make sense unless you heard what Beyonce said to correspond with his response, so when it's needed I'll plug it in with parenthesis. Hope you enjoy and please excuse any errors!
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho!
Playing the Game
Why did you have to leave? What did I do wrong to make you coarsely pack up and leave me with nothing but a note? I love you…
To: MissBotan
From: ShuichiMinamino
Subject: Please don't delete
I came home expecting to see you there waiting for me like you always did. Like how I always thought you would. I took for granted all the times that I would come home to the comforting scent of dinner being cooked or just the loving smile that would appear on your face as you greeted me with a kiss. I didn't know anything was wrong. I did everything in my power to make you happy; I tried to fulfill your every need.
I didn't want your friends to poison your mind with thoughts of me being unfaithful or how I was using you. I would never do that! I've just been so busy living life to the fullest. I've learned to celebrate each day that comes since you've entered my life.
You knew me well enough to know that I loved your mind, body and soul. You should've known me well enough to understand the stress I'm dealing in life right now. You should've of put your faith and trust in me, knowing that I'll fix anything or everything that's distressing you.
If you were a boy
Then girl you'd understand
You need to stop listening to your friends
Love, respect and trust your man
I needed to release stress. I need to be able to live my life to the fullest without you condemning me of wrong doing every step of the way. Yes, I talk, drink and dance with other girls but it means nothing. They mean nothing to me! Don't I always coming home to you? Aren't you the one wearing my ring? Aren't you the one that I plan to spend the rest of life with?
How could you leave me for just trivial things that would have been worked out between us? Did I mean so little to you that you can just leave? How could you have doubts about me?
Didn't I say all the things I love about you? Love the way your amethyst eyes twinkle when you have a secret. The adorable way you scrunch your nose up when you smelling something distasteful or hear something you don't approve of. The way you would always frown and cross your arms when you're angry or dissatisfied with something I've done. The way your smiles lights up the room and caused me constant distractions, the way your laughter instantly made everything in the world fade away.
Haven't I told you I've loved you enough? Haven't I shown a million times that I love you? Didn't I use to buy you flowers or jewelry to show that I care? Didn't I use to plan vacations and secret dates to take you? Didn't I do enough to make you happy and stay with me?
So I go to clubs with the guys
And sometimes flirt with the girls
I should be able to roll out
As long as I'm coming home to you
And give you the world
I'd do anything for you! I work long hours so we could get the house that you wanted, I've cut back hours that I use to hang out with my friends because you thought we didn't spend enough time together. I shorten my lunch hours so that I could get my work done faster to get home to you. I stuck with this job that I hate so that I could support you!
After all I've done, how can you have the nerve to say what you said? How could you think that I've fooled around with other girls? How could you even install those horrible thoughts in your mind! When I proposed to you and offered you my heart and soul, I expected you to take proper care them. Not leave it abandoned and unwanted.
But you are not a boy,
So you don't have a clue (ey)
How I work and pay the bills
Girl everything I do is for you (eh eh)
I don't understand how you can fool around with my heart. I don't understand how you can accuse me of turning off my cell phone every time you call. Didn't it ever occur to you that certain areas don't have reception? Why would I ever do what you accuse me of doing? I look forward to every phone call I ever receive from you; just the sound of your voice instantly lightens up my day. It makes very second away from you more tolerable.
Why would I need to prowl the streets and bars for girls when I have you at home? No girl can compare to your loving disposition and beauty. No girl can hold a candle next to your smile and your laughter.
If I were a Girl
(I would turn off my phone)
I wouldn't play games
(Tell everyone it's broken
so they'd think that I was sleeping alone)
Girl you know that's wrong
You're everything I could ever hope for in a girl, in a woman. You're everything that I don't deserve. I never believed the saying that dictated that no man deserves the woman he loves you came into my life. You're just everything to me. It's hard to fathom that you left, it's even harder to grasp that I drove you away.
I'm not perfect Botan, no matter what anyone says I'm nowhere near the perfect man nor are you a perfect woman. We all make mistakes, all I can do is love you, and all I can do is try to make you happy. Your perfect for me, all your flaws complement my flaws.
But you are not a boy,
So you can't understand
You are not a perfect woman
And I am not a perfect man
I forfeit this game, whatever it is. If it means you coming back than I'll stop hanging out with the guys, stop going out to clubs and finally pick a wedding date. Please just come back, the house feels so empty without you. My life feels so worthless without you. The thought of never holding you again of never waking up beside you is sheer torture.
Cause I know how you feel
I'm sorry that I didn't dedicate even more time to make you happy. I'm truly sorry if I did anything to make you question my devotion and love to you. I'm sorry that whatever mistake I made ruined, no destroyed, the peace of our household.
How much apologies do you want before your ready to come home? How many promises do you want me to make? How many sacrifices are sufficient enough until I apprise you and begin the road to mending?
(Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed)
Got destroyed
Said I'm sorry
Please tell me what I have to do to make you come back; tell me what I need to do. Tell me anything! Just don't tell me it's too late, don't tell me that you're moving on and that everything in the past five years meant nothing to you. Don't tell me that you stop loving me. Don't tell me that you have someone new. Don't tell me to move and find someone else. Don't tell me anything except that you're coming back, that that letter that you left on the hallway table was a joke.
I'm still the person I was before, I'm still the boy you fell in love with and I can be the man that you want. I can be the man that can take care of you, make you happy and fulfill all your needs. Give me one more chance, I'm begging you! I don't want to live without you…
Forever yours,
Shuichi
I want you to know that no one can ever replace you. You're my first and only love, I'd rather live the rest of my life alone and yearning for you rather than trying to find someone new. Someone who will always be compared to you, someone who will always live in your shadows…
But I can't let you go
Cause I'm too attached...
Ah the bitter sweetness of first love. Well he's groveling and begging for her to come back! I was thinking about taking pity on the poor Kurama and letting Botan comeback and I'm still considering it but it takes away the point of the whole dramatic breakup. Actually I was fooling around with a few ideas but it'll probably never take any fruition beyond what you see here, it's for your imagination to decide whether she took him back after the sweet plea he wrote her. If you're wondering why he emailed her rather than writing a letter back or calling her to beg her to come back its because 1) he doesn't know where she is so he can't send her a letter and 2) she refused to pick up his calls, what's to say if she even reads this heart touching plea.
Please review! EDIT: Oh I forgot to thank all those that reviewed! It's nice to know that this story tugged at some people's heartstrings!