Medicinal Love

Chapter 9

Date: Winter 03 Year 2

Claire was anxiously pacing around her room. She would be meeting up with Trent tonight, and tonight was only a couple hours away. Reflecting back to that time when they were making out in his office---yes, Claire could call it that since what they 'd done basically defined the term-she wanted to slap herself silly for giving in so easily. "Fate can be so cruel..." she whispered to herself. "Either that or we both just had really lousy timing." Blue eyes looked wearily at the calendar across the bed. The days were marked off to show how much time she had left...before she had to go back and finish university. And yet, she could not deny the happiness and pleasure she felt around him. Had things gone differently, Claire knew that if they had a relationship, it would be lasting.

"I should start applying to med schools after this," she said aloud, changing her train of thought. Claire had gotten a call from her roommate, Patricia, that the thesis (which she had crammed for so much and worked very diligently for) had already been read and well received. The future looked bleak, but there was a ray of hope that she could achieve her career goal. "Trent...." She drew circles around the bed sheets and moaned. "Just thinking about this makes my head hurt." And with that said, she found herself slowly dozing.

It was the sound of several tappings that woke Claire up from her quick slumber. Barely awake, she stumbled toward the center of the noise and opened the window. In crawled Trent. She noted that he was without his usual white coat. "Are doors really that unpopular in this room?" Claire asked, remembering the last time someone had used her window as an entrance.

Trent laughed at that. "Maybe it's just you." He quickly strode toward her and held her in his arms before giving her a sweet, tender kiss. That simple kiss turned into so much more. Claire immersed herself in that feeling, the warmth...both created by him as they tasted each other. Eventually, the two of them broke off for much needed oxygen.

"You need to wash that mouth," Trent commented at the after-taste in his mouth.

"Great way to kill the mood Trent," she complained, but she went to the bathroom anyway-the whole problem thanks to that little nap she had earlier. She could hear him laughing from the bedroom.

As she splashed her face with water, she began to wonder when she would tell him. She had meant to tell him once he entered, but things happened and nothing ever went according to plan. "Might as well wing it," Claire told to her reflection.

"So..." Claire began, though there was enough tension stifling the room. She bit her lip, knowing what she was about to say might change everything forever. But she had to say it. "Where will this," she moved her hands to express, "lead to?"

There, Trent looked nervous--so different than his usual confident self. He stared at her blankly. "Well, what else?" Trent coughed as he looked to the side of the room. "If you wish, we could go on a few dates...and maybe go further than that?"

Claire shook her head. "Trent...we can't."

"What do you mean 'we can't' ?" Trent glanced at her rather abruptly.

She sighed. "I meant that we just can't be in a relationship together."

The words left his mouth immediately: "Why not?" Claire walked near the window, never looking back at Trent; she wouldn't know how to handle the predicted expression that lingered there.

"Trent." She finally turned to face him, gathering courage to do so as she stared at him straight in the eyes. "I won't be here long enough to actually have a decent relationship with you."

Trent stood, flabbergasted. "Is that it? Is that why? Because you're leaving?"

Claire gave him a rather pointed look. "Trent." She flatly called out his name. "Remember why I came to this town in the first place?"

Remembering the first day, he nodded. "I remember." Then he was silent. "Well, we could always have a long distance relationship. I heard those are 'in' nowadays. Or you could stay here." Seeing her expression at that, he quickly corrected, "Or I could follow you." He stared at her blue eyes, crossing the distance she had created between them in such a short span of time. "Just...just let me be in your life as intimately as you are in mine."

Hearing those words, Claire couldn't stop herself as she broke down in front of him. Worried at this sudden reaction, Trent quickly gathered her in his arms and moved them to the bed where at least he would be comfortable holding her. Arms wrapped themselves tightly over her, providing her shelter, her back against his chest. Feeling his heartbeat while listening to the poundings of her own heart, Claire took the time to secretly enjoy being in this position: imprinting the emotions that ran throughout her body and revering the fact that he felt the same way she did, before...before everything changed. Trent pulled Claire even closer to him as he laid his head down on her shoulder, so that they were cheek to cheek. Whispers of comfort and love left his mouth and entered her ear. Her body shook even more. Slowly, she gathered her resolution and scrunched it into a ball. Claire focused on stopping her tears. She didn't want to make this any worse than it should be.

Trent could only watch in confusion as Claire broke out of his gasp and stood a good distance away from him. She turned to him with a hardened face, devoid of all emotions. "There is no way we could ever be in a relationship. It's just not possible." She spoke as if she was speaking to a businessperson or a stranger, no warmth in her words.

"Claire, what are you saying?" Trent wanted to grab her and shake her, wondering that if he did that, he might possibly understand the mechanics that ran inside her head.

Claire raised an eyebrow. "What do you think I'm saying?" Then she said it slowly. "It's. Not. That. Possible."

There was a deep cease on his forehead as the corners of his lips turned downwards. "What? You think that this can't work out?"

"That's exactly what I've been saying for the past couple of minutes," Claire nearly yelled, but didn't, not wanting the others next door to overhear.

"Don't deny your feelings," Trent growled, feeling more than a bit frustrated at her stubbornness and denials. "I have a pretty good clue of what your feelings are."

"Do you?" Claire asked, daring him to contradict her: though this was all a bluff, something that both parties were fully aware of.

Trent made sure to put his face awfully close to hers. "If you didn't, you would have never enjoyed those kisses."

She coolly stared at him. "They meant nothing to me." The words came out harshly, though deep inside, she was crying. Yet if acting like this would lead her to the solution she craved, she would continue this charade. "Now, if you're done pestering me, you should leave. Now." Checking over at the time, she realized that it was a little bit past ten. "The bar's closed and Doug and Ann don't really go back to their rooms until eleven, so you'll have to leave from where you entered." She opened the window.

Stunned at her coldness, Trent wanted to scream-to release all the emotions that bubbled up inside of him. Angry at her treatment toward him. Confusion as to why she behaved the way she did. Sadness, because even though he didn't want to admit it, she had rejected him. Unsure of what to do with all of these feelings, he just did what she wanted. Trent was not in the right mental state to even think of his actions; all he remembered was experiencing those emotions suddenly and painfully. As he climbed out of the window, he looked back at her...hoping that this was all a big misunderstanding and that she was only playing a joke on him. Albeit a very cruel joke, but seeing her not even staring at him... He made sure to bask in her features, for this could be the last time he would ever see her again. As Trent raked his eyes over her body, he noticed that her blue eyes no longer held that joy of life that he had always seen sparkling there. Instead, they had a rather dull shade of blue. He also took note of the rather stiff position she was holding onto herself. Remembering an excerpt from one of the medical textbooks he read, he knew that this was hard on her as well. But what he didn't understand was why she was acting like this. Whatever it was, there was now a sense of hope beginning to run through him.

As soon as he was gone from her sight, Claire quickly collapsed on to the floor. Her legs no longer had the strength to hold her body. Arms shaking, Claire tried to console herself as tears began gushing rapidly and harshly. Earlier when she had cried, it had been nothing compared to what she was doing now. She could only remember the look of disbelief and hurt that graced his expression when she told him that all of this had meant nothing to her. She stayed in a curled position for an hour or so, moving only to close the window to block out the chilly air. Now of all times, she didn't want to be sent to the clinic for being stupid enough to get herself frozen or close to hypothermia. Especially not after how she'd treated him. Replaying the scenes of the night's events repeatedly, Claire knew that she had to leave. The sooner, the better. Grabbing a couple of sheets of paper and an envelope, she began to write. It only took her an hour to write a letter for Rick and for Jack. Then she quickly packed her stuff. From what she could remember, Zack was always awake around six in the morning, so hopefully she could get the travel paperwork done at least. She knew the boat would not be at the pier until noon. Claire could give those letters to Harris and instruct him to deliver it the day after. As she got ready for bed, exhausted by the event, tears still poured freely down her cheeks-less than before, but painful nonetheless. Before shutting her eyes, a single whisper left her lips: "I'm sorry."

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Author's Note: Well, things aren't looking too good. Thanks to The Scarlet Sky for going over this chapter ^.^. Though looking back at this chapter, I think I may rewrite this or edit some stuff in the future. At the present moment, I'm tolerant of how this is. Review please! This chapter has got to make you guys react or something.

(edited 1-14-08) - Changed all the Tim to Trent. Sorry for the confusion/annoyance!