The pair leave Cheyenne mountain half an hour later. Daniel's quiet on the plane. He sit's in his seat staring straight ahead of him intently, not looking at anything. Lorne is at a loss at what to do. He doesn't think he's the right person for this. He volunteered because he couldn't bare the thought of her friends and family being told of her death by someone who didn't know her. By someone who could not understand how devastating the loss of Colonel Samantha Carter was. But now he wonders if he's made the right decision. Daniel is obviously still in shock, maybe it would be better if he is with someone who is better equipped to deal with this. They arrive outside Cassandra's flat much later on that evening. The headlights of the rental car shine into her dark home, illuminating the empty living room. Lorne worries that she might not be in; but presses the doorbell anyway. It takes three rings and five minutes for Cassie to answer. Evan is shocked by what greets them. Cassie looks a lot older than he imagined. She isn't wearing much; an extra large t-shirt barely hides her modesty, showcasing long shapely legs. Her hair is dishevelled, she has obviously been asleep.
"Daniel? What are you doing here? I thought it was one of my flatmates, locked himself out again." She leans against the doorway, her hands trying to rub herself warm. Daniel manages to give her a small smile, it looks distorted on his face now, and it does not last long.
"It's good to see you Cassie." She quickly walks foreword, embracing him. She knows something wrong, he's stone in her arms. He wants to hug her, he really does. But the earlier news feels like a barrier now; between him and the rest of the world. She brings him to arms length, searching his face. Evan clears his throat bringing attention his way.
"if it is Ok with you miss Frasier, maybe it's better if we further our discussions inside." She nods, taking her hands off Daniel and leading them in. She takes them into the modest lounge, Daniel sits down on one of the second hand sofas, though Evan and Cassandra don't. She looks from Daniel to the air force officer.
"You two are starting to scare me now. What's going on?" Her eyes are demanding
"Maybe it would be better if you sat down Miss Frasier."
"My name is Cassie. Miss Frasier was my mother. and No I won't sit down. What's going on Daniel?" Daniel can't help but a twisted smile at that, she's so much like Janet. The smile goes when he sees her eyes full of tears.
"Cassie please don't, please don't cry" He wants nothing more than to take her in his arms like he used to when she was a child. He knows it wont be the same. He isn't the same anymore. He is ice and stone and metal. Turning into something that can no longer break. His heart doing the only thing it can to stop the pain. He goes to hold her, but she keeps him at arms length.
"Daniel"
"Sam's Dead Cass." She pushes his arms off hers, retreating backwards. He doesn't even try to walk to her, he just stares at her, her emotions so different to his. There's no despair or emptiness, just anger, resentment and disbelief. She's shaking her head looking between Lorne and Daniel.
"No you've got it wrong. I mean she's safe now. She has to be. All those years travelling across the galaxy, fighting the Gou'ald, the parasites that destroyed my people and dominated the galaxy. And she always came home. Then the Orai, you guys even beat them. Atlantis was supposed to be safer, for god's sake! She wasn't going on missions anymore, how did this happen?" Her voice is angry, accusing. Evan steps foreword, the brave soldier.
"She died saving, not only those under her command, but an entire planet of innocent people." This quietens Cassandra quite a bit. She knows that Sam would have wanted to go this way. She would never have been able to go home knowing that there were people in Pegasus that needed her help. They manage to calm her, making her sit down while Evan goes through the last mission Of Colonel Samantha Carter. Daniel sits next to Cassie, her hand fiercely holding his. It's warmth feels alien to him. His own hands strangely cold. Evan places an almost identical envelope in Cassie's other shaking hand to the one he had given Daniel.
"She wanted you to have this." Cassie wipes her eyes and looks down at her name written in Sam's untidy scrawl. She opens the envelope without hesitation, something that Daniel is still unable to do. Cassie's hand shakes round the paper, her eyes welling with tears. Water spatters the surface, making the ink run slightly. She shoves the letter into Daniel's hand, and he knows what she wants him to do.
He finds it difficult seeing her writing on the page. The Last words of a dead woman. Lorne volunteers to wait in another room, thinking that this is a time for family and close friends. Cassandra says that it's Ok for him to stay but he's insistent, leaving the room before she can argue. Daniel reads the words clumsily, his usual finesse for them out of the window, finding it hard to string the words together as if they want to fly off of their own accord. Sam's letter is apologetic, asking Cassandra for her forgiveness in leaving her. Silent tears tumble down Cassie's cheeks. Daniel continues reading; his voice stretched and raw. Sam wrote the letter recently talking about the battle with Michael, and how she is fearful of the outcome. This knowledge causes fresh wounds in Daniel. The thought that Sam lay several million light years away, aware that she may die. Willing to do so to protect others. He doesn't know what he would have done if he had known, but the thought that she had kept this from him hurts. She had been back at the SGC only a month previously. Asking General O'Neill and the IOA for more resources. the devotion of more troops and the creation of another ship to be used alongside the newly fitted phoenix. Of course she had been denied. Daniel didn't have to drag her back to his house that night. She was exhausted and angry from all the negotiating. Daniel had managed to calm her Over bottles of wine and lasagne at his house. They had only had one night together, he had asked her to stay longer, but she was desperate to return to Atlantis as soon as possible. Seeing the words on the page about her realisation that this command may be her last, brings a fresh wave of hurt, how could she not have told him? He wonders if she wrote any other of these letters in her years at the SGC. When they had boarded the ship of Apophis? Or the time she and Teal'c had taken a modified cargo ship into replicator dominated space? Surely she could have not predicted her own death any more accurately this time? When he finishes the letter, Daniel begins to feel numb once more. Cassie looks at him, her tears now turning into uncontrollable sobs. Daniel's lost; unaware of what to do next, he is directionless and it scares him half to death.
Evan walks back into the room, looking between Dr Jackson and Cassandra.
"I am expected back on the plane shortly, I'll go straight to Washington, Notify General O'Neill." Evan is even more apprehensive about this, unaware about how the General will receive the news. "General Landry would like both of you back to the mountain as soon as possible, he would like help to organise her memorial service." It's going too quickly in Daniel's opinion. she has been dead less than twenty four hours and they already want to hold her memorial. It will be a co-ordinated event, between the two galaxies, there are a lot of people from hundreds of different planets who want to pay their last respects to Colonel Samantha Carter. There will have to be a civilian ceremony too. An empty coffin will be lowered into the ground beneath a headstone that carries her name, rank and date of birth. Someone has to tell Mark, but he will wait till tomorrow at least, tonight all Daniel can do now is sleep.