AN: I'll probably be able to get another chapter up tomorrow, but I'm not sure about Friday, as that's the day I'm heading home. Updates during my Christmas break may also be a bit sporadic for a while because I'm working for long periods a lot of days and also want to spend a good deal of time with my family. Sorry.

Thanks for the reviews!

"Can we please go inside now?" The Joker's hand was still tightly around his own, and although only a few minutes had passed, the rain had gone from light to 'torrential downpour.'

"That depends, Jonny." His makeup was almost entirely gone now; it figured the one time he was willing to let it come off, Jonathan wasn't wearing his glasses. He could put them back on, but in this rain he doubted they'd be of any use. "Are you having fun yet?"

"Yes."

"No, you're not."

Well, obviously. How could anyone enjoy this, fear or not? Even without unpleasant childhood memories being evoked, the fact remained that they getting soaked with cold water while even colder wind was making things more uncomfortable, if that was possible. And it was a thunderstorm, which added the lovely threat of death by lightning strike. All right, so that was highly improbable, but why test fate? "We're going to get sick and die. You know that, right?"

"You worry too much, kitten. Take a second to appreciate your surroundings, okay?" To illustrate, he looked to the sky, his expression the epitome of serene calmness. That is, until the rainwater pushed what remained of the black paint into his eyes and he hurriedly looked down, cursing and rubbing at his face with his free hand.

"There, see? You're not happy either. Let's go." His heart was speeding up again, loath as he was to admit it. This was ridiculous. He'd always hated rain, but he'd never realized he was actually afraid of it. Some master of fear he was. Then again, it wasn't as if it was without precedent.

"No. And I meant to do that." What had remained of the makeup was gone. Not being able to see him clearly was incredibly annoying.

"You're getting makeup on your suit," Jonathan pointed out, doubting an appeal to vanity would work but trying it anyway. And he was; the collar had gone from blue to a mess of red and gray.

"So? It probably washes out."

"Probably?" he repeated, pushing wet hair out of his eyes. "What, you've never gotten makeup on your suits before?"

"Laundry's for henchmen. Back to the point. Look around for a second, wouldya?" He waved his hand—glove now smeared with black—through the air around them, inadvertently smacking Jonathan in the face as he did so.

"Ow."

"Sorry. But anyway, this is nature at work, scaredy cat. Rain is a bringer of life. Water's a benevolent force."

"It's also a force of destruction. Have you ever noticed that all ancient civilizations had a flood legend?"

Joker shrugged. "Which wasn't always viewed as a bad thing. Take the Egyptians, for example. Not only did they depend on the Nile's floods to grow crops, but the great flood itself stopped the goddess Sekhmet from destroying all of humanity."

"What's your point?"

"That you're ridiculous."

Well, there went any idea of talking his way out of this logically. Not that there had been much hope of that to begin with. "You know what? You're absolutely right. I've been wrong this whole time; thank you for showing me the error of my ways. And I think I'd appreciate this even more if we were watching it through a window."

"Nice try."

He was beginning to wonder if giving into sex would be worth it, if in meant getting out of the rain. No. No, of course not. But it was tempting. "Look, you could find a different way to return the favor."

"I like this way."

"I know you do. I don't. At all."

The Joker sighed. "'Kay, look." He took Jonathan's other hand, holding it up to catch the rain. "See this, Jonny? It's water. Waaa-ter," he said again, slowly, sounding almost like Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker. "It can't hurt you unless you're stupid enough to put your face in it and inhale, which you aren't, or if you can't swim."

"I can't swim." He couldn't make out the other's expression, but the Joker made an amused sound.

"Fine, but it's only rain. It's not as if you're at risk of drowning. It's a completely irrational fear, kitten."

"I'm aware of that. Knowing that it's irrational doesn't make it any less powerful."

With another sigh, the Joker moved his hands from Jonathan's wrists to either side of his face. "Fine, so logic isn't working here. Let's try emotion. Do you honestly think I'm gonna let anything bad happen to you?"

Jonathan took that moment to remind him of the laughing gas incident a few days ago.

"All right, but anything bad that I'm not the cause of?"

And he took that moment to remind him of the fight with Batman six months ago that had ended with Jonathan in traction.

"Well, besides Batman, obviously. I don't control him. C'mon, trust me here, Jonny. You're safe."

"Once again, irrational fear." Jonathan was starting to shiver now, though to his relief not from a loss of control, but from the cold. "Knowing I'm not in danger doesn't alleviate the sensation."

Joker hugged him, in what Jonathan guessed was an attempt to share body heat. It didn't do much good, given that they were both soaking wet, but he was glad enough of the contact not to complain. "Try and associate it with something positive, okay? Like…" he paused, thinking, smacked his lips. "You know that song, 'Singing in the Rain'?"

"Yes. And link it with the film A Clockwork Orange far more than the musical. So that's not a very reassuring association," he added, almost apologetically.

"God, aren't you cheerful." He paused again, pulling back slightly, tongue running over his mouth. "What about that movie, you know, where the couple makes out in the rain?"

"What movie would that be?"

"Dunno." He shrugged, as much as he could while still holding Jonathan. "Like, any romance ever with a scene in a storm."

"I don't watch romances."

"Why does that not surprise me? Bet you've got a whole shelf at home devoted to zombie movies or something."

"Zombies aren't frightening." All right, so he had few DVDs of that genre, but those were guilty pleasure and he almost never watched them. Almost.

"Try thinking of it as something else, then. Do you like snow?"

"Yes, but they've nothing in common."

"Sure they do. They're both water, it's just one's all frozen. So think of it as snow, but warmer and in liquid form."

"As rain, then."

"And you say I'm impossible."

Somewhere in the distance, there was a flash of lightning, quickly followed by an explosion of thunder that seemed to be right above them. Jonathan jumped.

Great. First rain, now loud noises. I'm never living this down— His thoughts were cut off, suddenly, when the Joker kissed him. It wasn't open mouthed, or incredibly passionate, as their kisses tended to be. It was shorter, gentler, almost loving in a way. Which was ridiculous, but that was the only way he could think to describe it.

"Relax." His voice was just as soft as his mouth had been, one hand leaving Jonathan's body and stroking his face. "You're safe, okay? Don't be afraid."

If it weren't for the very real sensations of the rain on his skin, the wind in his face, or the body pressed against his own, Jonathan would have thought he was dreaming. This made no sense. Sure, they were in a relationship. But a relationship agreed to only for convenience on one side, and almost certainly for kicks on the other. And this was the Joker, of all people. The Joker, who forced people into life or death situations for the fun of it, and treated his own men as viciously as those he targeted. The idea that the same man could be so gentle, so seemingly truly concerned; it was totally incongruous. It was like that children's game where one had to spot the object that didn't belong.

"Why are you being so nice?" he couldn't help but ask, regretting it at once. If there was one thing the clown cared about, it was his reputation, and if he got the idea that Jonathan thought he was being soft, the results could be disastrous. He braced himself for a violent response.

And was completely unsure of how to react when the Joker only shrugged. "'Cause I feel like it."

Ah. Well, that only meant that he'd stop being nice as soon as he got sick of it. Which should have been the moment where any reassurance Jonathan had felt abated.

It didn't.

It was absurd, but in spite of the fact that there was nothing to back it up, he felt safe. Honestly. Not calm, and certainly still afraid, but safe. That, and something else, something he couldn't quite place. Unless…he stiffened, feeling the Joker's grip tighten as he did.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." It was an absolute lie, but what was he going to say? I think I'm falling in love with you? No. Not only would such an answer be met with laughter, no doubt, but there was no point in saying it because that couldn't be it. As he'd reminded himself so many times in the last few minutes, this was the Joker. The man who had poisoned him, dislocated his shoulder, broken his arm, fired a gun at him while he was driving, slapped him, used him as bait. And worst of all, who'd driven Harley mad. How could he love someone like that? The idea was deplorable. The thought that he'd even considered it made him disgusted with himself.

And yet, there was still that odd feeling that he couldn't shake, no matter how hard he tried.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Love was the best hypothesis he could come up with. Testing it, he raised his head and kissed the Joker, eyes open despite the rain in them. There were those fireworks again. And the racing of his heart, an acceleration he knew wasn't entirely due to fear. It was still absurd. But it fit, though he wanted nothing more than to deny it. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"This." He was referring to the opportunity to sort out what was going on. The Joker, apparently, took it as a sign that he was enjoying himself and knelt down, grabbing onto Jonathan in a different position so that he could pick him up, bridal style.

"You're welcome, kitten. C'mon, let's go back." Holding Jonathan at about the level of his shoulders, he looked down, and they kissed, long and hard, before he made his way back to the fire escape.

Maybe rain isn't so bad, Jonathan reflected, staring up at the sky as he was carried. Not that it had changed his feelings about any other bodies of water, but this very positive association had done wonders for his views on storms. The subsequent kissing that went on once they'd arrived back inside, before bothering to change, certainly didn't hurt either.