Cassie stays in the car. She doesn't feel right going in. She hadn't even known that Sam had a brother, and she thinks that this is not the right time for an introduction. Jack steps out of the car in his full dress uniform, he finds himself wearing it more and more lately. The material is rough against his skin, the tie feeling unnaturally tight on his neck. He's a fraud. He's a man in a costume, hoping that people will not look to close, see the aging broken heart. He remembers the way Sam looked in hers. It make his heart stop even now. Daniel gets out the other side, looking at Jack. He feels ashamed. longing for the dead woman who chose another man. A better person. They both walk in silence to the house. There is nothing more they have to say to each other. A child opens the door. Her eyes; huge orbs staring up; a spitting image of her aunt. She shouts for her father instantly, her small hand gripping the door. Mark walks down the stairs to his daughter, scooping her into his arms. He sees the uniform first. He knows what it means; but tries to ignore it for as long as possible.
"Daniel Jackson, right?" Jack looks at Daniel questioning.
"I came round a few times with Sam." he replies reminding him.
"I guess you two want to come in. Tell me what the bad news is" he tries to keep it jovial hoping against hope for a small injury; or accident. but he knows there is little hope of that. Seeing the three stars on the General's shoulder, he knows that a man of his stature would not come round for anything else. He wants to shut the door to them, make the news go away, but doesn't. Jack nods, taking off his hat, and putting it under his arm. They are shown into the living room, toys are strewn all over the floor, two more children sit on a rug playing with bricks. He puts his daughter down next to them.
"Sorry about the mess, Emily has a few friends over, and my wife Alison has gone to see her father for a few days so Dad's running the house at the moment." The smile dies on his face as he sees the expressions on theirs. "She's dead isn't she?" Jack does most of the talking. Daniel doesn't even really listen to the words anymore, he has heard the same rehearsed lines over and over, yet each word still cuts him. She was a brave woman. She died serving her country. Mark sits on the sofa, knees far apart, he grasps his hands together to stop them from shaking. "I should be used to this by now." he laughs hollowly. The tears are unexpected. His daughter is the first to notice. Her five year old face, looking into his.
"Daddy?" She brings her arms up; wanting him to hold her.
"I'm fine sweetheart." He replies, but does not go to pick her up. Jack is quick to catch on. He scoops the little girl into his arms, much like he had done to Charlie many years previously.
"How about you come with me and your little friends and we play in the garden. Hey?" they quickly leave Daniel and Mark alone.
Once again; the words fail Daniel. What could he possibly say to a man, who has lost his Father and Sister within three years of each other? Daniel goes to sit next to Mark, mimicking his stance. He hands over the letter. Mark traces his name in her untidy handwriting, but does not open the envelope. His voice is hoarse when he speaks.
"You know the last thing I said to her?" Daniel remains silent. Knowing that he is meant to listen; not to sympathise or to console. " Of course you do; you were there." Daniel nods; yet Mark continues; as if repeating the offending words would make them all go away "I told her how sometimes when she spoke, I saw Dad staring back. How I couldn't do it any longer. I didn't want to see it end up the same way. You dead because of her. Her job costing you your life. I told her that if she answered that call; if she left, she was dead to me." His shaking hands drop the envelope at this point, as he breaks down into uncontrollable sobs. Daniel knows what he Is expected to say. He doesn't though. The words that are meant to soothe and comfort Mark never materialise. Instead he picks up the letter, keeping his eyes focused on it.
"Do you know, that I last time I got to talk to Sam properly was over a month ago now?" Daniel had caught her occasional transmission from Atlantis. But It wasn't the same. They couldn't be us when a wormhole was the only thing connecting them. "she only ended up staying for one night."It was last minute. The IOA had asked for a meeting with Sam for weeks, but she had been so busy with fitting out the new ship that she didn't have the time. It was only because of the insistence from General O'Neill that she came at all. It was supposed to be review of Atlantis operations. A stage for the committee to find out how personnel and mandates were panning out. But Sam, hijacked it into a chance to get clearance to build another earth vessel, and for the okay to devote more resources for the fight against Michael.
"I didn't even get to say hi to her before, the meeting started." There was no real need for Daniel to be there at all, but Jack had let him, more to stop him moaning than for any real purpose.
"She had lost weight, and her hair had grown long. But she was still Sam, her eyes wide and bright. Her New command had given her confidence among other things, but she was still the woman I had fallen in love with."She had become fiery, since leaving for Atlantis. Command had given her the boost to challenge authority, something that she had never done before. She had Woolsey speechless, and grasping for reasons to appose her within the first hour. Jack had noticed as well, his eyes beginning to sparkle for the first time since she left.
"You don't think that I was being too forceful do you?" She asks as her spoon plays with the blue jello that cling to the edges of the bowel. They have been given a small interval, to grab lunch and for Woolsey to grab his wits. Daniel, Sam and Jack have been sat in the commissary for the last half hour catching up.
"No way Carter. If that's what you want, you have to grab it with both hands. Not that, that means that you'll get it though." He has tried to say the last part under his breath but she'd caught him.
"What do you mean by that, General? I hoped that you would back my proposal. After all we cannot abandon a whole galaxy." Daniel can't help but agree with her, but knows better than to voice it.
"Whoa I'm not the enemy here Carter. It's just that you've got to keep in mind that it's not what I want that counts" Sam shakes her head, trying to keep her annoyance in check.
"Well with all due respect, sir. I think that it is up to you, you could push this through." She looked up into his eyes, pleading. She had never used her relationship with him like this before.
Jack nearly gets lost in her eyes; so close to giving her everything. He quickly stands downing the last dregs of his coffee.
"Sam, please." He stoops looking her in the eyes, his voice low and intense. "Don't do this." Jack quickly raises his head and voice.
"Carter, you really need to talk to the IOA about this, I can't help you right now. If I did, it would create more problems then it would solve." He leaves quickly, not daring to look back. She switches her attentions to Daniel, but her thoughts remain with O'Neill. she'll have to apologise later.
"Sorry about that. It's just that I'm under quite a lot of pressure." She puts her head in her hands, her hair falling down to cover her face. She gives out a long sigh. "I sometimes wonder how the General does it. I mean I've only got the Atlantis expedition to worry about, he's got everything star gate related on his plate." Daniel covers her hand with his, stroking her face. He moves the hair from her eyes. She smiles with genuine gratitude. "God listen to me, I really should learn to switch off shouldn't I?" He smiles silently knowing that she doesn't really want to hear the answer. He quickly removes his hand when Woolsey looms upon their table.
"Our relationship wasn't exactly a secret, but we both had learnt to keep such knowledge from any officials that might have a problem."
"Woolsey, would you like to join us?" He smiles some what sarcastically at her, using his new height gain to his advantage, puffing out his chest
"No, this won't take long. I've been on the phone with the rest of the IOA, and we have come to a consensus." He smiles broadly down at her, the smile developing into a sneer.
"And what might that be Mr Woolsey?"
"We will not be granting any of your requests." Sam is ready to interrupt but he talks over her.
"This is not up for discussion, Colonel Carter. And further more, we would like you to draw up a report documenting the resources which you feel are easy to cut back up on."
"You can't be serious, I come here asking for you to support me, to show your faith in the mission, by devoting more soldiers and resources, and you want me to scale back, there is a war out there sir." He flippantly shakes his hand, demanding her to stop.
"But your own words betray you Colonel. You have said in your own reports how this has all the hallmarks of an extermination, rather than a war. A war means fighting, and the IOA and myself, wonder if this is the right course of action? We have drawn up a list of things that we want you to consider pulling back on." He places the report on the table but she refuses to look at it. "Your primary concern from now on, is the people of the expedition. If you keep them in mind, instead of trying to save an entire galaxy, I don't think you'll have a problem in cutting back." He gives both her and the silent Daniel a smirk as he leaves.
"Does General O'Neill know about this?"
"This does not concern him. There is nothing he can do Colonel. We made sure that his, how shall I put it unhealthy relationship with you has not been allowed to interfere with this." Daniel grasps Sam's hand; which is forming a fist. He rises to dwarf Woolsey's height.
"I'd be careful what you say, Richard. And for the record, Sam and the General have a perfect, healthy relationship, as any former colleagues should." He stares the IOA official, Who is the first to look away. Woolsey, goes to leave, his snide comment, nearly inaudible in his haste.
"Don't worry Doctor Jackson, we are aware of who Samantha Carter, lets into her bed at present." Daniel wants to go after him, punch the snide snake, until he takes back his comments. But Sam still has his hand and refuses to let go.
"Let's go home Daniel." She smiles up at him, her exhaustion, at today's meeting evident on her face. He acquiesces, leading her quickly from the base, into his car. He would rather have stayed around and found Jack, ask him if there is any weight behind Woolsey's comment, If the IOA were keeping tabs on members of the SGC. But he takes her back, because he could deny her nothing.
"She had fallen asleep in the car on the way back. She denied it of course. But in truth she was exhausted. Her new post, were encountering difficulties, and I believe this was the first night in a while that she was able to truly relax."Sam had woken as soon as he had switched off the engine. Her eyes bright once more.
"You know you can go to sleep again. I don't mind." She shakes her head, smiling as she gets out of the car, waiting for him to open the front door. "I don't get to come home often any more. I want to cherish it. Anyway I've got to return to Atlantis tomorrow." The smile that Daniel had carried since she had come through the gate disappears.
"Why so soon? Surely you can stay an extra day or two?" She smiles sadly as he carries her small bag into the bedroom. She needn't have bought anything with her. All her stuff is at Daniel's now. She had sold her own place when she had been given her command.
"We were going to move in properly when she finished her time with Atlantis."She walks up to him, understanding playing out across her face. She hangs her arms on his neck. Kissing him soothingly. It's the first kiss they had had for God knows how long. He decides to forget tomorrow. Forget that he only has hours to spend with her. Forget the hurt that will surely follow when she leaves.
Daniel leaves the bedroom a few hours later, his bare feet squeaking against the oak floors, as he goes to grab a bottle of wine, and set the table.
"I had made reservations at her favourite restaurant for the subsequent evening, But they had to be left. I didn't really care. I was just so happy that she was there." He has just put the Lasagne back into the oven when Sam comes out of the bedroom, only wearing one of Daniel's shirts. She finds his scent that clings to all his clothing comforting. She would never admit to it, but she wears his shirts to bed in Atlantis, the only thing that lets her sleep, albeit for only four hours at a time. She does up the buttons as she walks into the kitchen, her eyes never leaving his.
"That smells good. Your cooking is one thing that I miss when I'm on Atlantis. That is when it's not burnt." She smiles, moving into his easy embrace. His kisses her affectionately, as he manoeuvres her into the dining room, quickly pouring her a glass of wine.
"I think it's best if you stay in here. The chances of me burning the food, greatly decrease if I don't see you looking like that." She smiles wickedly at him, pulling him to her seat.
"You know I'm not that hungry, we could always go back into the bedroom, and let it burn on purpose." Daniel reluctantly goes back into the kitchen alone. He brings in the meal to a pouting Samantha fifteen minutes later. He laughs at her expression, placing a steaming plate, under her nose.
"Colonel Carter, a woman who could kill someone from thirteen paces, I have never seen you look cuter in all my life." This brings the corners of her mouth up slightly. She brings her legs down from their position on the other chair, and sniffs the food appreciatively. "Does madam approve." He is awarded with a beady stare. "Okay I'll take that as a yes." They eat mostly in silence, Daniel content to watch her eat, as he grazes. The air slowly becomes electric, as wanting glances are exchanged over glasses of chilled white wine, and mouthfuls of lasagne. The chemistry builds, but is comfortable. All the sweaty palms and nausea, that accompanied the first part of their relationship are gone, thankfully. Both Sam and Daniel are patient. They both know the lust in each others eyes, but can wait. Daniel takes the empty plates into the kitchen, putting them in the sink, to be done later, when she's gone. He finds her sprawled on the comfiest sofa in the lounge, remote in hand lazily flipping through the hundreds of channels, that Daniel never watches.
"I'd never thought I'd say it, but I actually miss television. Just something in the background you know." Daniel shrugs, looking down at her, unable to tear his eyes off her. "I'd never thought I'd get sick of the sound of the ocean, but sometimes, I just want to hear the sound of an engine you know?" Again Daniel remains silent, giving her a curious look. He sits down on the sofa, pulling her into his lap.
"I hope you missed me more than TV and engines Sam?" He asks, his voice close to her ear, the breath tickling her. She giggles slightly, bringing her shoulders up and fidgeting in his embrace.
"Hope your not counting my motorbike as well are you?" He laughs at her; kissing her on the forehead. It was meant to be affectionate, but the kiss quickly becomes out of hand, kissing her strongly on the lips as Sam moans into his mouth. It doesn't take much effort for Daniel to rip the buttons off his shirt that she's wearing. He pulls it off her, kissing each part of skin that it reveals. Sam lazily dispenses with Daniel's boxers and t-shirt. It's slower than before. All the haste of the previous tryst, is replaced with slow loving embraces. They have all night, and are in no rush.
Daniel awakes barely minutes after, afraid of missing a moment with her, into a tangle of limbs. He doesn't know where Sam ends and he begins. He smiles down at her peaceful, sleeping complexion, as he brushes strays hairs from her face. He disentangles himself, intent in putting Sam somewhere more comfortable. He deftly picks up her sleeping body, pulling it from the deep sofa. He almost moves her without waking her up, until he stubs his toe on the laden coffee table. A jumble of Arabic and ancient Egyptian swear words tumble out of his lips and wake Sam. Her eyes lock with his, as she realises she is in his arms.
"aw my hero." she purrs, grazing her lips against his. He carefully places her in the middle of the bed, with another kiss on the forehead, and the express instructions to get some sleep.
"is that in you authority as a Doctor." she asks with an exaggerated yawn.
"Yes it is. I want you alert for round three." Daniel watches her sleep, afraid of that exhaustion will overcome him too soon. He doesn't want to forget a single moment of this. His time with Sam is too special, to fleeting to forget a single second .
"It was the last hours we would ever have together. Over too quickly. The whole evening was over too quickly. I clung to her that night, trying to hold onto the time. I thought this night would be the last for a while. But I never imagined.."Daniel can't find anymore words. Mark places a comforting hand on his shoulder. Inclining his head to the letter that Daniel is still holding. Maybe Daniel doesn't need to find anymore.
It's the second letter of Sam's that he has seen, neither of them his own. the familiar script instantly recognisable. Her longing looping y's, and z's with tails, talking to her loved ones now that she can't. Daniel's surprised that Mark wants him to read the letter. He goes to give it back to Sam's brother, but he shakes his head.
"I can't read it Daniel. Please. Do it for me." Daniel Acquiesces, taking in a shallow breath.
Mark.
I know you made me promise to never write you one of these. If I'd never written a single letter to you in my life ;why should I start now? But I had to Mark. I couldn't leave all these things unsaid. You deserve more than that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've left you without saying goodbye. I'm sorry that we didn't get to sort things out before. It's one thing our family's good at; letting things fester. But I don't want you to think that for one minute that I'm still angry at you. I never was. It's just that your words were too close to the truth for my liking. I am like Dad. More than I like to admit. But Mark, maybe that's not a bad thing. Our Dad was an amazing man, who did more for our country, for the world, then you'll ever be allowed to know. I understand that you see the air force as something that killed, nearly everyone that you hold dear, but it's also the air force that gave us a reason to live. If you knew what I was doing you would realise that it's worth putting your life on hold for, and maybe even worth dying for.
I love you Mark, I always will, you're my big brother. All I wish is that I could have spent more time with you, and get to know the wonderful family you have made for yourself. You are one lucky man. You must promise me that you will take care of that beautiful wife of yours, and make sure Emily grows up knowing that her daddy loves her with all his heart. Because I'll come by from time to time, to keep an eye on you mister. You have spent all your life watching out for me. Now it will be my turn.
Don't be angry about my loss. Please just celebrate my life
Your little sister Sam
X
Mark can almost hear Sam's voice. It's faint as if a shallow breeze could catch it and blow it away. The tears have stopped now. He is hollow, he can't feel anything. His glistening eyes stare at Daniel, who's fingers trace the letters on the page. Two grieving men sit on the sofa, a comfortable silence passes between them, no more words are needed.
They are no big hurry to get back to Cheyenne mountain. The General and Daniel leave Mark with the letter, and the responsibility of planning the civilian ceremony. They had both offered their help with arrangements, but mark had kindly dismissed them saying that this was something that he had to do. They are mostly silent in the car. Silence seems to forever follow Daniel now. Cassandra puts a comforting hand on his knee, squeezing it tightly. He knows what she means by it. He graces her with a rare smile, it still feels forced though, his muscles now unaccustomed to such action.