Author's Note:

The Professor: Hello, and welcome to the third chapter of our story, "Couple's Therapy: Case One". So! Review Answers, eh? Quite a few to answer this time around - keep it up guys! Now, first - to arms71080: intriguing and strange? Sounds like just the sort of answer we're looking for. And we'll do our best to - ahem - keep it up.

Ambrose: And to liljoker - it is indeed quite the age difference, isn't it? By the way, we're only guessing with Fenrir's birth year - we assume he was about eighteen, at the least, when he bit Remus, so that's where we based it from. Also, we now have a queue in which you can wait for the next chapter - indicates roped off queue - so, Isabelle Eir - masses of fun? blushes.

The Professor: I sense another crush coming on for dear old Ambrose - first Toby, now Isabelle Eir - he sure does get around. Not much we can do, though - except get him neutered. :). And we can direct you to the queue. So, moving on to Kawaii Yashie - glad to have you onboard, even if you get completely disgusted and annoyed with this chapter. cheesy grin.

Ambrose: Oh, hush. And now, to Black Moon - yesh! Finally, we get an answer! Good ol' Wikipedia - standby of lazy students and smart authors everywhere. OK, now we need all bow to the Queen - BlackRoseBlackHeartYaoi Queen, to be precise. Possessive Fenrir rocks, we must concur - and he is going to get very possessive in this story, especially in this chapter. Interests piqued? We hope so. Penultimately, we come to Narias - well, thank you for the compliment, and we think this is pretty soon - what about you guys? No? Finally, we have Catus -

The Professor: - who we need to make an express delivery to. pops on delivery boy hat and sends off copy of chapter. There we are - one chapter, hot off the press. And now, so we need not be reported for not doing a disclaimer - Harry Potter and all other people, places, concepts, species', etc that are affiliated with the Harry Potter universe are the intellectual property of J.K. Rowling, and of course all those guys at Warner Bros. who do the movies probably own a bit too . . . Any and all other references to outside TV shows, movies, cartoons, books, etc, are not in any way inclined toward encroaching copyright. There we are. Oh, but we do own Jeremy and Pat - so hands off, unless you ask first.

Ambrose: Enjoy the story, people! And make sure you read and review, guys - please?

(Chapter 3 - Start)

I had might as well have asked if I could take some time out to dig my grave, thought Jeremy gravely, as Fenrir seemed to be unable to stop eyeing him beadily, like a wolf set upon a rabbit. Harry had turned rather red, and looked off to the side in what Jeremy assumed was embarrassment - or perhaps amusement, Clarke reflected, as he saw the slight quiver of Potter's shoulders.

"I think it would be better if we skipped that part - " started the larger of the couple, with what Jeremy now realized was a slight flush upon his skin, before being interrupted by his smaller counterpart. " - actually, I think we may want to have this down - " and Fenrir quickly shot back at him, " - any particular reason for that?"

Harry looked slightly annoyed at being interrupted right back, and said (with a note of snippiness in his voice), "Why? Anything - no, wait, anyone you're not proud of?" Fenrir looked rather stung, and said, rather sullenly, "I have no regrets." All of a sudden, Harry beamed and turned back to Jeremy, who had sneaked another sip of whiskey during the altercation, and said, "Well, that's that sorted then. Who do you want to go first, Professor?"

Feeling put-on-the-spot, Jeremy replied, "It - er, well - there's no real difference which order . . ." Harry nodded, and Jeremy could almost anticipate what he was going to say next. "I'd like to go first then." He turned a sweetened grin upon Fenrir, who seemed to slide further into his seat, and Jeremy could see what he was doing - because Fenrir had wanted to skip over the relationship history, Harry knew that it would be of interest to him (and to Jeremy, too), and had taken the plunge of going first. If Fenrir backed out - well, he couldn't, could he? Then Harry'd accuse him of having something to hide, and so on and so on.

Jeremy noted some of this down, feeling his nerve steady, and then said, "Well, if we might proceed." Harry and Fenrir (though the latter looked distinctly put out by the inevitable dragging of his sex life into the spotlight) both nodded, and Jeremy continued to ask, as politely as he could manage, "How did you lose your virginity?"

The look on Fenrir's face might have been funny if it hadn't been so scary.

"WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!" Fenrir's voice surely shook the foundations of the building, it was so loud. Jeremy felt his heart pace just a little bit faster - if a little bit meant 'at the speed of light'. His teeth were bared in a snarl that would terrify a grizzly bear, and while Jeremy was on the verge of death by fright, Harry seemed quite at ease with the loud tone and snarling thing, as he simply sent an annoyed glance at the older man - which he promptly ignored.

"The kind I must ask - I am, after all, a relationship therapist - " and here Harry skillfully inserted himself into the situation, with seemingly practiced ease " - whom we hired, of our own free will, and who we would do well not to kill, so back down, Fenrir, or so help me, I'll replace all of your piss poor lager with liquid laxative." Fenrir seemed to calm down, his mouth now slack as he stared at Harry with bewilderment on his face, and Harry only raised an eyebrow. The message was clear - try it and die of celibacy.

"And by the way, Professor, I lost my virginity just after my sixteenth birthday - to Kingsley Shacklebolt." Both Fenrir and Jeremy snapped their heads to look at Harry in disbelief, while the man in question simply looked back at them. Fenrir seemed unable to keep control over his tongue, or his anger - only a second later, he hissed, "Shacklebolt? SHACKLEBOLT? I lost my mate's virginity to the fucking Minister of MAGIC?!"

"Who happens to be quite happily married - and if you mention, at any point to him, that you know, I'll shackle your bolt - and lock away the key." Harry seemed to be quite beyond reproach, and Fenrir could only huff and puff in anger as his self-proclaimed mate stared him down cooly.
"M - may I ask how it, er - " Jeremy started, before being interrupted once more by Fenrir. "Was he better than me?"

It was now Harry and Jeremy's turn to look at Fenrir, who seemed intent on an answer - Harry sighed, rolling his eyes, and said, in a low voice, "Nobody does it better than you Fenrir - you know that." The wolf in question leaned back in satisfaction, while Harry answered Jeremy's second question. "I imagine it was like any other first time - slightly painful - " (Fenrir seemed ready to break into another tantrum at this latest news, and so Harry headed him off, continuing on) " - but altogether, well - what's a nicer word for nice?"

Jeremy was copying this down in order to hide the slight blush on his face, and Fenrir seemed to take too much relish in suggesting a number of adjectives, all of which went a long way to implying that Kingsley was either impotent or, as Fenrir so eloquently put it, 'limp as a dead mule'. Harry seemed unimpressed.

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

(Chapter 3 - End)

Ambrose: Eh-heh-heh! Now, what do you think of that, readers? Well, make sure to tell us - make sure you read and review. We need your feedback urgently!

The Professor: Also, check out our Livejournal - we've set up a poll to see whether of not you want a little sex scene at the end of each story - which would be posted on the journal, of course, for all of you out there not comfortable with HP/FG smexiness. :)

Ambrose: Right, that's all for this update - see ya next time, people! Read and review!