Disclaimer: The title is named after a song called What's The Use by Tyler Hilton (written for Chad & Sophia when they separated), and the chapter title and lyrics are a song called For The Nights I Can't Remember By Hedley. I just brought Hedley's CD and loved it. So check them out.

Summary: She forgave him once. But what's the use of forgiving him again if she's not the only one hurting this time? Brucas. Future.

A few people to thank. Shannon for helping me write this chapter, Brie and Brianna for helping me edit it, K-Harte for being their through my breakdown in study and marketing and finally Susie for just plain helping me out through tones of drama going on right now.

Now On To My Thank Yous! Onetreehillgirl066, Lily106, Princesakarlita411, Brooke6404, Bella, flipflopgal, MarianaTeresia, brookenlucas4eva03, BDavis427, BrOoKe DaViS23, reina123, moonman, and princetongirl for reviewing. Thirteen this time! Keep them coming. I love them all.

This skips about six months a head. I know I skipped ahead last chapter too but it's what I have planed. Just two more chapters after this, I'm sad.

What's The Use?

Chapter Eight: I'm Going Out Of My Mind

"Mommy." Allie complained.

"Al go play with Shannon please?" Brooke begged. Three six month olds keeps you busy.

"Mommy you said we could play." Allie cried as Brooke took Clarissa into her arms.

"I did?"

"Yep."

"I'm sorry babe." Brooke said. "But I'm really busy right now with Rissa."

"Can we send them back?" Pouted Allie.

"No Allie. Can you grab me Matthew's pacifier?"

"No!" Allie said running right out the back door.

"Allie Savannah Scott get your butt back into this house now." Brooke yelled as a loud piercing scream came rushing through the house. "Karina couldn't you just stay quiet?" Brooke laughed putting Clarissa into her crib, putting Matthew's pacifier into his mouth before picking up the baby of the bunch. "What's wrong baby girl?"

"Mom!" Landon yelled. At the age of seven now Landon, as he put it, was to old to be all lovey-dovey with his 'mommy'.

"Landon what's wrong now?" Brooke screamed back.

"Allie's trying to climb over the fence." Landon laughed.

"Landon call your dad. Okay? Tell him to go pick Shannon up at Kylie's house." Brooke yelled running towards the back door. "Allie Savannah Scott get your ass away from that fence." Right now Brooke didn't care if she cursed in front of the three-year-old.

"Not until we send them back." Allie cried.

"Allie come here." Brooke said sitting on the grass as she placed Karina next to her so the girl could crawl around.

"Mommy I don't like them."

"I know Al, but you'll like them soon. Just give them a chance baby doll." Brooke smiled.

"I like being baby."

"I know you do Allie, but you aren't the baby anymore. I want you to know this Al, no matter what you will be my baby doll." Brooke smiled.

I see it in the way you would do
When no one else could ever get through
Holding back till I come around
Time and time again you wait for me to comin'

"Brooke? Allie? Karina?" Lucas asked walking out of the house with Matt and Clarissa in his arms and Shannon and Landon running out right in front of him.

"Daddy!" Allie screamed running straight into Lucas's legs.

"Hey baby doll." Lucas laughed.

"They evil!" Allie pouted.

"Daddy push!" Shannon yelled from the playground swing set he and Nathan put together one weekend a while ago.

"Go Luke. I got these three covered." Brooke smiled grabbing Karina before she crawled into a pill of dirt.

"Okay." Lucas smiled back. At least it's been better between them then a year ago when all they would do is yell. A smile can work for him, if it can get his ex-wife back.

"Daddy me toos." Allie smiled jumping into Lucas's arms.

"Okay."

"What are you two doing you crazy girls?" Brooke laughed when she noticed Clarissa and Karina crawling to the mud. "Can't you be like your brother?" Brooke asked looking over at Matthew who was enjoying just laying in the grass on his back.

"Daddy higher!" Shannon yelled.

"Shanny the swing can't go any higher. It'll break."

"I want it higher!" Shannon demanded in a tone that she had to have gotten from Brooke.

"Shannon I'm not pushing you higher."

"Landon get away from the pool." Brooke yelled.

"My ball fell in again." Landon complained.

"Okay." Brooke smiled standing up. "Come watch these three for a second okay?"

"K mom." Landon said running and sitting on the ground. Brooke doesn't know what it would be like if Landon didn't wake up. She doesn't want to think about that.

"Go play Landy." Brooke smiled hugging her son before watching him run away to the little basketball hoop set up in the backyard.

"Mommy." Shannon cried running right into Brooke's arms.

"Shan what happened?"

"Daddy won't push me high but he pushing Allie higher."

"Shannon it's probably for a good reason." Brooke smiled looking at her ex-husband pushing their middle daughter.

"I don't like it." The five-year-old complained. "He likes Allie better."

"No babe. We love all of you the same."

"No!" Shannon said running inside.

"That girl is going to kill us when she is a teenager." Brooke laughed.

"Great just what the world needs another version of a high school-er Brooke Davis." Lucas joked.

"Hey! I wasn't that bad."

"Right." Lucas laughed getting hit in the back of the head by Brooke's hand. "Karina get away from the mud."

"She's not going to listen to you I hope you know." Brooke smirked picking up the baby and the smallest out of the triplets.

And I do wanna love you
If you see me running back
And I do wanna try
Because if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time

"Movie night mommy!" Shannon smiled. She got over her little hissy fit from this afternoon and was now back to her normal cheery self.

"Movie night?" Brooke asked Lucas. She for once missed him around the house. Six kids only and no adults to talk to is pretty annoying sometimes.

"Sure." Lucas smiled.

"Daddy you staying?" Allie asked.

"Just for the movie Al. Then I'm going to my house." Lucas said with a frown.

"I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to leave either Al, but I won't leave until you are a sleep. How about that?"

"Okay." Allie said resting her head on her dad's shoulder. "I love you daddy."

"I love you to Al." Lucas smiled kissing Allie's messy head of hair. "If you're tired babe go to sleep."

"I don't want to cause then you leave me." Allie cried.

"I could never leave you."

"Then how could you leave mommy?" Allie cried which made Brooke chock on the popcorn she was eating.

"Allie I had no choice."

"Yes you did. You didn't need to leave us." Allie cried more climbing off her dad's chest and right into her mom's arms.

"Allie calm down a little." Brooke said rubbing her daughter's back.

"I don't want daddy to leave us mommy."

"Daddy leaves us?" Shannon said sadly.

"I'm not going anywhere right now."

"But tonight you no here." Allie said.

"They are being big babies." Landon laughed.

"Landon stop it." Brooke warned him.

"Girls I'll be here as soon as you call me." Lucas said pulling Shannon into his arms. He hated himself for the pain he caused his family, all because he was being stupid.

"I don't want to have to call you daddy. I want you to come home."

"I wish I could come home Shannon but I can't. Mommy and I have to get better first."

"Mommy and you sick?" Allie asked.

"No babe, we are just going threw some hard times okay?" Brooke answered brushing her curly chocolate brown hair out of her eyes. "It has nothing to do with any of you guys. Not Landon, not Shannon, not Allie, Not Matthew, Clarissa or Karina. It's none of your fault. I don't want any of you to think that."

"But daddy never here." Pouted Shannon.

"I can be here whenever you want me too. All you have to do is call me Shan."

"I want you here always." Shannon pouted.

"Me too." Allie smiled a bit

"Me three." Landon said following his younger sisters.

"I want to stay here too but mommy and me need a little space."

"It's been a year daddy." Shannon pointed out.

"I know things are moving slow." Lucas said looking at Brooke for help.

"Okay it's bed time for you three." Brooke smiled lifting Allie into her arms.

"Mommy it's early."

"Al it's nine. That means bed time." Brooke said walking up the stairs. "No screaming this time. Karina, Matt and Rissa are sleeping."

"I don't want to go to bed!" Shannon screamed running up and down the hallway.

"Shannon Natalie Scott!" Brooke said in a demanding tone.

"Yes mommy?" Shannon smirked as a screamed came rushing threw the upstairs of the house.

"Good going Shannon. Get your but into that room right now." Brooke yelled rushing into the triplet's room. "Karina why is it always you crying?" Brooke smiled lifting the girl into her arms. "Shh! Mommy's here." Brooke said getting a tiny smile. "That's my baby girl."

"Daddy mommy mean." Shannon cried into Lucas' arms.

"Shannon what happened?"

"Mommy yelled at me. Daddy I want to go with you." Shannon screamed.

"Shannon she probably yelled at you for not listening. I'm sorry babe but you have to stay here with mommy."

"Why can't I stay with you?" Shannon asked as Lucas walked into her room with Shannon in his arms.

"Because this is your home Shanny. Now lets get you into bed. Allie!" Lucas yelled as Allie came running into the bedroom she now shares with Shannon. "Hop into bed."

"Night daddy." Both girls answered.

"Night my girls. I love you." Lucas smiled kissing both of them before walking out the door and turning off the lights.

"I love you too." Shannon and Allie said at the same time before falling to sleep.

"Girls in bed?" Brooke asked walking into the hallway with Karina in her arms.

"Yep sound asleep. How about Landon?"

"He should be asleep soon. He's watching Rugrat's, like always." Brooke smirked.

"Can we talk?" Lucas asked.

"Sure." Brooke said unsurely.

"I want to come home Brooke. I miss being here; I miss see those kids always and whenever I want. I hate it."

"I don't know Luke."

"Brooke I know I hurt you but you need to forgive me sometime."

"It take's time Lucas."

"A year isn't enough?"

"I don't know. I can't trust you anymore. You ruined everything for me."

"I want to earn it back B. I'll do anything to get that back."

"I don't think I can give it back to you Lucas. You lost that as soon as you slept with Peyton." Brooke yelled.

"Please Brooke." Lucas begged.

"Slowly." Was all Brooke said before giving Lucas a kiss that she has been wanting to give him for a while.

And what if I never said to you I was dynamite
And what if I never told you I'm afraid to cry
What if I never let you down
And said I'm sorry for the nights I can't remember
What if I never said to you I would try