I didn't know how many days had past; it could have been weeks since I last saw my beloved husband, however long I had been here for felt like an eternity. Jacob hadn't return since last night. My stomach groaned with hunger. I thought about how I cooked for Charlie, although I wasn't the best of all cooks, one of my home cooked meals would seem like a five star feast with how hungry I was. Jacob had allowed me the freedom to roam from the room I was occupying through to the Bathroom. He must have known before that he would be taking a long absence.

Whenever I closed my eyes a vision of Edwards perfect face appeared, he was all I thought about. His sweet musky smell remained in my senses and his cold touch felt as if it would never rise from my cheek. The more I thought of him the more I wanted to be with him and if I wanted to be with him so much why shouldn't I be. It was the perfect time to escape. Jacob was nowhere to be seen and the longing that I had for Edward only made me stronger. My injuries had almost fully recovered and the pain was nothing more than a tingling sensation.

I got myself excited and full of adrenalin with the thought of going home. I walked through to the bathroom. I started rummaging in the cupboards, hoping to find something that would come in handy. Jacob not being the brightest of all people had not cleared through his cupboards and for that I was grateful. I found a small pair of scissors and as I looked more to the back of the cupboard I found some sleeping pills. I took the two Items I had gathered back into the bedroom.

I laid them both out on the bed. I examined the label on the sleeping pills; they read "can last up to ten hours". That seemed a long enough time, but I wondered if it would be the same for a werewolf. I then hid the small pair of scissors in my sock, the end sticking out from the top, just encase there was a need to use them in a way that was not the purpose of my plan. I pulled my trouser bottom back down to cover them and then all I had to do was wait.

It grew darker and still Jacob did not return. I peeked through the bars that covered my window to see if he was near but he was nowhere to be seen. I knew why he was gone for so long, he was out with the other werewolves Sam and Seth and all the rest, but I couldn't quite figure out how he could leave me like this if what he says is true that he loves me then surely he wouldn't leave me alone all this time. I was so absorbed in my questioning that I didn't even notice that Jacob had entered the house until I heard him making a lot of noise. It sounded as if he was throwing the furniture about the racket he was making.

I quickly jumped up and whilst doing so my foot tipped the sleeping pills across the old carpet. I began to panic. I scooped up the pills as quickly as I could, knowing that Jacob could walk in any second which made it even harder to pick them up, as my hands were shaking. I got them all in and just as I had screwed the lid on fully the door burst open. I quickly shoved the pills under the bed and shot back up to my feet. I tried to make my face look natural but also shocked at the same time because of the big entrance that he had just made.

I didn't want him to suspect anything so I put on my usual attitude that I had whenever he was around.

"Where have you been?" I shouted at the top of my voice.

He stormed about in a huff.

So I came up close to him and once again asked "Where have you been?"

This time I said it not as loudly but with more persistence.

He shrugged his shoulders still storming from side to side of the room.

"Well fine" I said "If you are not going to answer me I am not going to bother talking to you"

I could tell that what I said alerted him and he calmed down and began to explain.

"You know where I've been, where I always am, out with the guys, because I cannot disobey Sam no, that would be wrong"

I could tell this was going to be a very long rant so I sat down on the bed and made myself comfortable. Jacob must have taken this as an invitation so he sat down beside me and continued.

"I really wanted to be with you; oh I wanted that more than anything but it is my job to listen to anything Sam says"

"Well you could have at least told me that you would be gone for a long time before you just left, then I would have expected to be lonely" I wanted to make him feel that his company was needed just so that he would feel warmer to me again.

"I'm so sorry Bella; I really did miss you you know"

He move in a bit closer I had to say something to stop what had happened a couple of nights back. I quickly replied

"Well I missed food; do you know how staring I am?"

He jump back up to his feet and said "Yes of course I shall go and get you something to eat right away, oh and Bella thanks for not being so hard on me"

"No problem" I replied coldly.

He returned with a sandwich and a giant bag of chips.

"I hope this is enough" He said "I haven't had time to go to the store I will go and get more soon"

"Thank you" I replied and I took the plate from him politely, even though all I really wanted to do was snatch it from him and wolf it down. I took my time eating it but I loved each bite. He sat with me while I ate. We did not speak the whole time, he just watched me continuously, I don't think his eyes stared at anything else.

It was time to put my plan into action. I asked Jacob for a glass of water, he returned with only one drink for me.

"Why don't you have one too, you must be thirsty after being out for so long, we can sit and talk together" I said hoping he wouldn't get suspicious.

He looked confused but at the same time happy, so he went back out into the kitchen and poured himself a drink to. By the size of his glass I think what I had suggested about him being thirsty was right.

I offered him a seat next to me on the bed, patting the space beside me invitingly. He eagerly accepted my invitation and settled down at my side. I hadn't even though of what to talk to him about until I next asked for him to leave the room for something else I would require. By the time a topic popped into my head, Jacob had already stared to speak.

"So have you thought any more about my question?"

I was puzzled, what did he mean by question? He must have read my expression and explained further "You know about the kiss"

I had done so well at blocking that kiss from getting into my head but Jacobs words had just broke threw the wall I had built and it all came flowing back in.

"Jacob, please don't, let's just forget about it.

He quickly and sharply answered "No let's not"

He eyes became darker and his anger showed

"Why didn't you pull away?" He repeated his earlier question.

I needed something to cover up what I really thought "You were very strong" I said

"Yes but I would not have forced it on you, if you had kept pushing me away I would have stopped"

"Well I…I…I…" I had nothing to say because the only answer I could possible think of would only make everything worse. So I just decided to block it all again.

"I am not having this conversation Jacob" I said stubbornly.

"Yes you are" his anger grew even more "I need to hear it and you need to let yourself hear it, tell me, tell me"

It just came out "Ok, ok I didn't pull away because I just imagined you as Edward and that way I didn't want to stop, so you see it was nothing to do with you, or how I feel about you, you were just a prop, used for my pleasure" It killed me to say this to him but I had to I couldn't lead him the wrong way.

His face dropped from anger to pure sadness. The bright wildness of his eyes dropped dead and his tall powerful stance became small and broken. I couldn't stand seeing him so upset. His mouth opened slightly as if he was about to say something but nothing came out. He cleared his throat trying to hold back the tears that I could see filling up his eyes and said.

"Why can't you love me?"

The words stung my heart and made me feel as small as he did and with those words he turned to the door and walked out. I heard his car engine roar to life, and he slowly drove down the winding road and once again I as alone.