Chapter Twelve: Always Believe in Yourself

"… so then Mr. Muta took the whole cake, and ate it in three bites, leaving the chef standing there with a little slice." Harumi giggled helplessly as Haru patiently sewed the torn toy on her lap back together, a foolish smile on her own lips.

'I knew he could pack it away, but that's pretty impressive. I guess I can't expect anything less from him.' She tied off the knot, bit off the remaining thread with her sharp feline teeth, and gave the pink cat doll she had personally made back to the little princess, who squealed with delight before throwing her arms around the queen's neck and licking her cheek.

"I sure love you, Nana."

Her heart melted once more, as she wrapped the little girl in her arms again.

'I sure love you too, sweetheart. But please be more careful with it next time.'

The gray princess licked her cheek once more before hopping off of the bench, and going back to her brother. Sighing a bit, Haru pulled out her crazy patch square, and started embroidering on it again. This square was her interpretation of Vincent van Gogh's Starry Night, so the colors seemed to run together like she had doused it in water or something. As her needle made its familiar dance, she let her thoughts freely wander.

'Whatever the doctors told his high and mightiness must have really hit him hard. He's been acting stranger than usual, has he finally figured out that he can't force me to bear his child without my consent?' She laughed breathily, since she still wasn't using her voice, and shook her head at herself.

'More than likely he's plotting something new. But that's okay, his time will be ending soon enough.'

Haruhi and Harumi came around the corner again, tossing the familiar ball around. Once, it ricocheted off of a stone statue, heading straight for the queen. On reflex, she caught it and threw it back to the little prince, who beamed at her.

"Thanks, Nana!" he called at her before moving his continuing battle with his little twin sister across the gardens again, with Natoru struggling to keep up, being the babysitter.

Looking down, the slim brunette realized that her hand had moved so fast, that her needle was now sticking through her glove and hand. Sighing tiredly, she pulled out the needle and was rewarded with a trickle of blood.

Pulling off the dainty white glove, she pressed a cream-colored handkerchief to the wound, and waited for the flow to ebb.

'The king's blood will flow soon as well. Hmm.' She looked up to the perfect sky, with the golden sunlight caressing her face. She closed her eyes to think.

'There are going to be some attempts during the anniversary banquet tomorrow, I can feel it in my blood. If I was planning a time to kill the king, that would certainly be my first choice.' She sighed again, thinking about the eight long years she had spent as the Cat Queen. The only thing that had made her predicament bearable was the love Yuki, Lune, and their children showered upon her as often as they could.

'Love. Love, and children. The only things I ever really wanted, and the only things I can deny his majesty. Even he knows it.' She fought the urge to break down and cry, certain that someone somewhere was watching her, even if it was just the not-so-secret spies that the king kept around her, to make sure she didn't try anything that he wouldn't approve of.

'What I would give, if I could erase my memories of him, and what he's been doing to me. Even if I will be widowed soon, I'm going to carry these scars around for the rest of my miserable life.'

The blood flow had stopped. She took the red-stained handkerchief off of her hand, and looked at it. The scars from weeding her mother's flowers were almost healed now, but they weren't quite what she was looking at.

Folding the handkerchief and placing it next to her quilting, Haru looked at both of her hands, gloved and ungloved. The padding on her palms wasn't half as disturbing as the fur that graced the other sides of her hands. She had never seen hands like these before receiving them, especially since her mother had never allowed her to watch horror movies.

And the rest of her… who could possibly want someone that was lost between worlds like she was? All chances she could have had for a genuine sweetheart to share her life with were lost as soon as the king had seen her for the first time. And who would want to deal with her emotional baggage, let alone herself? Who would willingly cope with all of her issues? How could she learn… to trust someone enough for it to matter someday?

'Neither fish or fowl nor good red herring. That's me. I don't belong here, or at home. Everyone can function just fine without me.' Desperate for a hug, she wrapped her own arms around her body, and squeezed as hard as she was able to. She tried to make herself imagine that it was really her mother, squeezing her like that. Or even her father. Her father…

A few tears squeezed past her guard, and ran down her face as her heart broke anew. She missed her parents and the simple happy life they had shared together more than mere words could hope to express.

'I can't wait to get out of here! I don't even care where I go, as long as I don't have to be kept here for a toy and pet! Freedom, thy name tastes so lovely upon my lips… or mind… whatever.'

A branch cracked, making her ears perk up. She raised her head enough to see who was intruding on her alone time.

'Baron again? Is he stalking me or something?' She looked away, and tried to rub away the tears so that he wouldn't see.

But it was too late. The Cat Creation swiftly walked toward her, and kneeled right in front of her, his glorious green eyes haunted.

"No, Haru. It's okay if you cry. In my experience, it even helps, it's nothing to be ashamed of," he said consolingly, offering a plain white handkerchief. Noting that her own was still spotted with blood, she accepted it, and mopped her face while allowing the tears to flow down her soaked cheeks, not quite realizing that she was trusting the orange and cream cat to keep this between them.

Suddenly, she stiffened in disbelief.

'Did he just call me by name?'

Baron jerked a bit, himself.

"My apologies, Maj-"

She pressed her gloved hand to his mouth, shaking her head in a pleading manner.

'Please, don't apologize! I hate being majesty-ed to death!'

Baron's eyes unclouded somewhat, and he smiled a bit as she lowered her hand.

"Would you prefer for me to address you by name, at least in private?"

She nodded enthusiastically, a smile present through the remaining tears.

'Finally! Someone with a clue!'

The Creation Lord smiled a bit wider, and took the seat next to her on the bench after she moved her patchwork out of the way.

"That's good to know. You never really struck me as the type to glory in titles."

'Oh, funny. He's figured out in a week or less what eludes almost everyone in the entire kingdom for years. Well, I guess it shouldn't be surprising. He is the owner of the Cat Bureau, after all. Why is he blushing again?'

The orange and cream cat coughed once, a magenta blush on his furry cheeks.

"I hope you will forgive my taking the liberty, Haru, but… you seemed very lonely, just now."

'Story of my life.'

His eyes flickered, and his mouth gave a sad smile.

"I… I just wanted to tell you, I have no idea what you've been putting up with, ever since you moved here, but I can tell that it's tearing you apart. I hope that you'll do a small favor for me?"

She cocked her head at him, wondering what he might want from her. He took a deep breath.

"I've met women in your kind of predicament before. Being married to someone you despise, I mean. In every instance, the wife turns bitter, and does everything in her power to make her husband miserable. A few times, they even killed their husbands for his wealth." He looked at her again, and smiled warmly.

Without warning, her heart began to increase its steady pace.

"You're the first girl I've met that's willing to endure more years of pain than she has to, just to stop the terrible cycle of ache and vengeance. That's a very rare thing, Haru. Not too many people are strong enough to endure that kind of punishment." He stood up, and tipped his hat politely at her.

"I also know that you have a very warm heart, and that it's threatening to turn cold from what you've been through. Please, Haru, there are enough cold-hearted people in the world. Don't let yours turn cold as well."

She stared at him. She had never really thought of her actions as heroic. Was that how he saw her?

Why the heck did she like the way he said her name so much?

Finally, she smiled, and stood up enough so that she could bow politely, like the way she had while living as a human back in Tokyo.

'Thank you, Baron. That was exactly what I needed to hear.'

The Cat Creation smiled even wider, and kissed her hand like the gentleman that he was.

"You're welcome, Haru. Glad to be of service."

She beamed at him, bowing once more before the clock in the tower struck the hour. The slim brunette wanted to growl at the hour, but couldn't without her voice. It was time for her dress-fitting for the banquet tomorrow, and she had learned better than to be too late for such things.

She gathered up her sewing, threw it all into her handbag, and bowed warmly to Baron once more before leaving the area.

'He may flip out over nothing a lot, but Baron's still a great guy. I like how kind and modest he is. It's really strange how, although we hardly know each other, we can communicate so flawlessly. It's almost like he can read my mind.'

She stopped dead in her tracks, as did Baron, who was walking on the other side of the hedge, strangely not being able to keep himself away from the queen for extended periods of time. His heart pounded loudly in his chest, praying that she wasn't catching onto his little secret. Besides Toto and Muta, no one knew the true properties of the silver treasure that the Cat Creation kept on his person at all times.

The seconds ticked by.

The queen laughed her usual breathy laugh, and started walking again.

'No, of course he can't hear my thoughts. What a ridiculous idea.'

Baron breathed a huge sigh of relief, and kept walking as well.

'He'd need my father's watch to know what I'm thinking, and that thing was destroyed years ago when Dad died. Sure would be nice, to see it just one more time.'