A/n: Just a quick update before I run off to watch the CGI movie again. I'm thinking I should probably wear a Plot Bunny Protection Suit...

In a week from tomorrow all my essays will be over for the semester. Hooray!

Chapter 7 – Like a Light Bulb in a Dark Room

.:…:.

Darkness. Emptiness. Silence. The slow movement of breath in and out of his lungs.

Then out of the blank space behind his eyelids there was a growing warmth, like the sun at his back.

Raph?

… Leo?

The presence intensified.

LEO! He tried to latch on to his brother, floundering in this mental space like a person drowning in a foot of water. As soon as he tried to hold it the connection started slipping away. But Leo's mind reached after him and wrapped around him like a blanket, holding him together.

Hold on, bro, I'm right here. Just breathe with me. Come on, breathe. That's it…

Once there would have been a time when Raph would have pushed this closeness away, resented Leo's strength and his calm and the vague scent of incense that seemed to accompany him, even here. But right now he just felt grateful not to be alone. If he was going to be trapped inside his own head, he wouldn't mind some company.

The two of them breathed together for a while. Once he was sure he wasn't going to lose him, Leo 'spoke' in that strange combination of thoughts and impressions that they used to communicate between minds.

Where are you? What happened? Are you alright??

Raph decided to ignore that last question in favour of more important matters. I… dunno exactly. I was at the docks. Long story short, I had to save some guy's ass from being tiger chow, but when the guys with the tranq's came to take down the tiger, they decided to nab me as well.

They shot you?!

With darts, Leo. Don't freak out. Geez. Anyway… I woke up in a cage in some warehouse. But they moved me, he continued quickly, before Leo could go rushing off to the docks to look for him. They… sold me, to some guy named Darmonaz. Runs some illegal animal show. His temper smouldered. They boxed me up and sent me off. I don't even know how long I was in the truck for. So now I have no idea where I am. Underground, somewhere. That's all I can tell ya.

Leo mulled over this for a while. Seeing as it didn't look like he could just race off and rescue his brother right away, he seemed to settle for fruitless worrying, in classic Leo style.

You're alright though? You're not injured?

I'm fine. Now Raph remembered why this kind of communication was so hard for him. It was very, very difficult to lie to someone when they were sharing your mind.

No you're not. Leo's mental voice intensified, and his presence pushed on Raph, gently, trying to feel what was wrong. Raph cringed internally as Leo seemed to discover his various aches and pains. Unable to hide them, he shoved his brother away, with more force than necessary because he was embarrassed that he'd got himself into this. He knew Leo could sense his embarrassment too, and that irked him. Normally he'd be able to hide those things under a protective layer of grumpiness. Now he felt… vulnerable.

Just leave it, Leo. I'll be alright.

What have they done to you? Why do they want you?

'Cause a freak like me belongs in a freak show. The thought was bitter, and it was out before he could hold it back.

Leo flinched. You know that's not true. You belong with us.

They've seen me, bro. They all stare at me like… Christ, they think I'm a baby-eating monster or somethin'. And I can't…

What?

I can't speak.

There was a pause. What do you mean?

They didn't want me talkin' ta anyone. Thought I'd give the audience the wrong idea. So they…

… Raph, Leo prompted, you need to tell me. I need to know what condition you're in. For when we come to bust you out.

Raph suddenly felt very small, and very young.

They… Leo, they stitched my mouth shut.

There was a long, deep silence.

… They'll pay for this. Leo's cold anger clouded their connection, and Raph reached after his mind clumsily as he felt it recede.

Wait, bro, don't go yet. He was just too damn tired to pretend he wasn't half-pleading. Talking to his brother was making him feel more human again. And it wasn't like he was going to get many other conversations in the near future – unless he learned sign language.

Leo had managed to bring his anger under control, but his mental voice still sounded sickened. Some people really are bastards, aren't they?

Yeah. Tell me about it. In the back of his mind he thought of the crowd, cheering as he writhed in his chains. (Don't think about that), he pulled himself away from the memory before Leo could pick up on it, and tried to change the subject.

So uh… how are Don and Mikey? Master Splinter? They all okay?

They're worried. Of course. Leo's mental voice held a touch of reproach. You know we always worry when you disappear like this.

Yeah, he sighed, I know. Just… don't let them do anything stupid. And don't you do anything stupid either, okay? I think these guys have been in the business a while, they know what they're doing…

Are you warning me not to do something hotheaded, Raph?

He could sense his brother's amusement, and he had to smirk. Yeah, I guess I am. His grin faded. Just… take care of them. I don't ever wanna see any of you guys stuck in a place like this. Ever.

We're going to get you out, Leo said, knowing they both needed to hear it. What was the guy's name – Darmonaz? – I'll set Don on to him, there's gotta be some information about him on… on the internet, or…

I dunno about that, Raph thought doubtfully. If your business is gonna break that many laws, ya wouldn't exactly be advertisin' it in the local paper, ya know?

We'll find a way. Leo's tone brooked no argument. You just need to hold on until we can come for you. After all – Raph could clearly picture one side of his brother's mouth quirking upwards – you were the one who rescued me last time, so now it's my turn to save your butt.

That didn't count.

Huh? What didn't count?

Last time. It was my own damn fault you were in trouble in the first place.

And again, the broken swords hung shining in the air between them. Even now, Raph couldn't bring himself to speak of it, couldn't put it into words. It didn't matter: he knew Leo could sense everything, as clear as day. The guilt, the shame, the fear of what he'd almost done.

Maybe… maybe I really am an animal. The thought floated through Raph's mind involuntarily, and he knew this time Leo had caught it.

Don't think that, came Leo's fierce voice. Don't you ever think that. You can't let them get to you like this –

But maybe I deserve to be stuck in this damn place. I mean, Leo, that night, I could've… I was this close to…

- I trust you. His brother's voice cut across the thought, quiet and firm. I trust you with my life. I always have, I always will. Got that?

For a few heartbeats, Raph couldn't think of how to respond. But –

Look, we'll talk about it later, Raph. Really talk, I mean, face to face, when you're home and safe. I want to be able to hear your voice.

… Yeah, Raph capitulated after a second. Yeah, me too.

Good. Leo's thought was gentle. We'll be seeing you real soon, then. His presence began to fade. Just keep it together, bro. Just hold on…

When he was gone it was dark and lonely inside Raph's mind.

.:…:.

In the lair, Leo stirred and began to come out of his deep meditative state. It was late at night. Don had stayed up tinkering with his tools in front of the TV, and Mikey was ostensibly watching cartoons, but really they were both just waiting up to see if Leo had found anything. As they had been for the last couple of nights; the whole family was beginning to feel a little sleep-deprived.

On this night something in his presence must have been different, because as soon as Leo walked into the room his brothers' heads snapped towards him, as if they sensed the extra tension to the set of his shoulders.

"I found him," he announced needlessly. "Well, not exactly," he qualified, as his brothers shot to their feet. "I don't know where he's being held. But I contacted him, and he's… well, he's a little bruised and battered, but he's okay. Mostly." His voice turned hard. "Apparently some opportunist thought he'd look good in a circus show."

"Heh," said Mikey, completely lacking his usual humour, "I bet Raph just loves that."

"I don't think it's your average circus, either." Leo hesitated. He didn't really want to tell them, but they needed to know. And it wasn't like his younger brothers were innocent of the cruelty that some humans could be capable of. "He said they didn't want him to communicate with anyone who came to see the show. So they sewed his mouth shut."

Don closed his eyes for a long moment, as if in pain. "Oh, Raph…" he breathed softly. "He must be going crazy already."

"But we can go get him, right?" asked Mikey impatiently, blue eyes fixed upon his eldest brother's face.

"As soon as we can figure out where he is, then yeah." Mikey looked vaguely hurt at Leo's snappish tone, and he immediately felt bad.

"Sorry. I'm sorry… you know my frustration isn't directed at you. It's just… I hate it when this happens." He rubbed a hand across his face.

"S'ok, bro," Mikey grinned at him. "Someone's gotta be the Grumpy Raph when he's not around."

Don was already moving over to his computer corner. "So, how much do we know? Where do we start the search?"

Leo sighed, and began to list the few paltry details that he was relying on to somehow lead them to their brother.

.:...:.