Another Three Words

"Emmett, Edward, and HOLYSHITWHATTHEFISH?!"

Previously:

"RAWR!" Edward suddenly yelled, spinning around so fast Emmett and Jasper missed his movement; his hands were shaped like claws next to his head, which was hunched down so he was in position to spring into action. His face looked menacing, his eyes malicious.

Jasper and Emmett screamed.

"AAAAHH!!!" Jasper and Emmett both yelled simoltaneously. Edward laughed harder than ever, one hand to his temple, like he couldn't believe this, and his other on his stomach, hurting from laughing so much.

"Okay, man," Emmett whimpered, barely audible and panting from his previous scare. "I - I can't take this anymore. Edward, please. Hurt us already."

What's this? Edward thought. Emmett's giving himself up? Without a fight? He smirked. He looked over to the hidden camera and winked, unnoticed by either vampire holding on to each other for dear life. Edward smirked.

"Yeah, Edward, please. Can - can you just get us already?" Jasper agreed.

"Hmm . . .," Edward said, not giving it a thought at all. "Sure, why not. Come on out." He motioned towards the back door where another hidden camera was, well, hidden. Beyond that was something that made Emmett and Jasper drop their jaws. Audibly.

There was Alice, and Rosalie, in the backyard, that was beautifully decorated (Alice's work, of course). There were doves, either pecking at something in the floor or flying a short distance and landing again. There were white ribbons scattered everywhere. There were white balloons everywhere, on the ground, on the fence, and tied to bedposts. Yes, bedposts. Bright, white beds, two of them, were placed in the backyard. They had canopies, glittering see-through curtains, and in the beyond the curtains were what had shocked Emmett and Jasper.

Alice and Rosalie each lay, stunningly beautiful in white dresses, with bowls of grapes in their own bed. Next to both of them was a boy.

Alice had the pleasure of laying next to a very comfy looking handsome boy, with dark hair, light skin, and amazing eyes, along with a beautiful smile. She was hand-feeding him grapes, and he was talking, which was the cause of Alice's giggling.

Unfortunately, however, Rosalie, who looked like she'd rather be in hell with the devil himself, had no other than - yep, you guessed it - Mike Newton, who looked like he was in heaven. And he was oblivious, of course, to Rosalie's disomfort. Of course, he knew it was shallow, what with the incedent with Bella the day before, but could he help it? It was Rosalie, after all. Edward shot her a look that said,"Hey. You better look happy, or the deal's off." Instantly, she looked like she was with Mike in whatever fantasy land he was in.

"There. Now we're even," Edward said as the girls snuggels closer to the guys, looking contended. Well, mostly, if you don't count Rosalie's clear disgust.

"You. Went. Too. Far," Emmett said slowly, shuddering with anger. The only word that could describe his feelings, really, was "HOLYSHITWHATTHEFISH?!" Emmett picked up the phrase,"what the fish," while watching a foreign movie.

"What, can't the joker take a little of his own medi - " Edward started smirking, but was soon cut off by Emmett's thunderous tackle. It scared the you-know-what out of the two human boys. Both of them fell out of the arms of the vampire holding them and onto the floor. Especially Mike, who had seen the rage of Edward once before, when he was with Bella in that one wonderful yet heart-breaking situation. Then a thought occured to him.

I'm being set - up. There is no way on Earth, or in hell or heaven, not even Jupiter, that this goddess would call me, unless she was forced to, or was rewarded for it. On the other hand, I am irresistable. Even Bella said so. While he continued with his arrogant thoughts, Edward managed to dodge every one of Emmett's attacks, while Jasper ran swiftly to go confront Alice. No, Mike finally concluded, against what he willed, she called me for Edward's revenge. I can't believe I was being used!! Unless that's a good thing . . .

"Em, you're not gonna get me. I can block - " Edward started, dodging another one of Emmett's useless attempts, and continued," - any one of your attacks." He tapped his temple: "I have that 'freak mind reading thing,' remember? You said it yourself." He grinned.

Emmett made a few more attempts at hurting his brother, then gave up, panting. He had been chasing Edward all around the backyard, and now finally stopped, tired. Edward was enjoying himself. Emmett and Jasper were not. As Emmett caught his breath, he remembered Rosalie. He sped over to the bed.

"What are you doing?!" he yelled at Rosalie, who wasn't afraid, but annoyed. She rollled her eyes.

"Emmett, darling," she soothed, holding his face in her hands,"you know I love you. More than anybody in the world. I only agreed to this because Edward -" she shot the vampire in question a deathly glare, but he just chuckled " - made me a deal." She kissed him softly, and he cooled down for a moment, then resumed his anger.

"What on earth could Edward offer to make you agree to lay down with that?" he spat, pointing at Mike like he was a pile of - well, you know. Mike was cowering by the bed on the ground, withering under Emmett's glare.

Rosalie looked down. "You'd think it was stupid, but I made him confess he made a mistake picking Bella over me." Emmett laughed aloud.

"How did you get him to do that?" he asked.

"I needed her for my fun, Emmy," Edward interrupted, using a nickname Emmett found horrible and insulting to his manliness.. "After all, Jazzy-poo does say it was your idea." He smirked. "What fun would it be to just humiliate him and not you? Plus, . . . there's more."

Emmett sighed, drooped his shoulders, and said, exhausted,"What now?" Edward motioned with his right index finger to somewhere near theback door. Emmett ran swiftly to the area he pointed at, and found a camera.

"You didn't," Emmett said. The camera was faced at him, and it was recording. He turned the camera around to see whether it was or not, and found that it had been recording throughout the entire ordeal. He dropped the camera, zoomed inside to find another one, remembering when he and Jasper were cowering. He found one immediately, and was about to crush it to peices when Edward suddenly appeared at his side and snatched the camera away with his right hand; the left hand had the other one.

"You wouldn't dare," he said, laughing, but still having that menacing glint in his eye. "You destroy these, and you will definetely not be pulling pranks for about, oh, 600 years."

Emmett pouted, but only slightly; he kept his masculinity in mind. "Fine," he sighed. "I guess we deserved it."

"Oh, I was being merciful on you two. Pull anything like that again and you will hear the end of it," responded Edward.

Meanwhile, Mike, poor dear Mike, was still on the ground, pondering . . . I'll talk to her. Ask her what's up with all this. He planned to confront Rosalie. Uncomfortable, he made his way up off the grass.

"H-hey, um, R-Rosalie?" he stuttered. She looked at him in utter boredom. Mike gulped. "Can . . . can you explain what just, um, happened? Right then? If - if you still love Emmett, then why-"

Rosalie sighed, and Mike broke off. As she spoke, she began to play with her nails, making sure each one was perfectly round. "Oh, you poor boy," she said, with clearly no sympathy for the boy. "Yeah. You were used for Edward's pathetic attempt at revenge for what Emmett and Jasper did to you. Well, no, not you. He doesn't care about you. It was 'cause of Bella. There, happy? Now, go home," she said, all without looking at Mike. He left, and the vampires all went inside except for Alice, who had everything cleaned up in about 2.5 minutes.

Later that day, Edward, planning to put an end to his revenge, called over Bella, Charlie, the wolves [NOTE: I will ne writing something about Jacob next, for all you Jacob fans! I am one myself!] and Jessica, Angela, Lauren, Mike, Eric, Tyler, and all the nurses and doctors at Carlisle's hospital. To show them the videos he burned all onto one convenient CD. Jasper was in his room, to ashamed to be anywhere near the crowd. Plus, he couldn't stand that many humans at the time; he didn't hunt for a while. Also, the wolves were down there, and the mixture of the smell of humans and wet dogs made him quesy. Picture a delicious, juicy apple, and you're starving, and it's right there in your face, and you lose your appetite because of garbage left out in the sun to rot. Emmett was downstairs, however, trying to convince the humans and wolves that he and Jasper were acting. He was failing horribly. The house shook with laughter while watching the clips (although, sometimes it would get quiet when Edward's menacing grin appeared on screen), and even after the humans (all but Bella) and wolves left, Edward continued to watch the clips. It never got old.