Dedicated to Karla and Zirou for their generous donations on Gaia. Much love and happiness to you both.

Disclaimer: I don't own.

AN: Whoops, this was supposed to be updated months ago.

Warnings: Random humor. Implied Rufus/Tseng,

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"Reno?...Why are you under my desk?" Tseng sighed, rubbing his forehead as he attempted to sit at his desk without kicking the idiot hiding underneath. He set the huge stack of paperwork he was carrying down on his desk with a loud thump, hiding back a snicker when it loosed a large amount of dust onto the green-eyed male's head. Reno sneezed, glaring up at him.

"I would think it perfectly obvious." Reno sniffed, crossing his arms, and sticking his nose in the air, or at least as close as he could come to in the cramped space between Tseng's legs and the desk. Tseng raised an eyebrow, looking down at his lap. Reno sighed. "I'm hiding. Now shush, you look like you're talking to your..."

Tseng did not catch the last of the sentence because Reno sneezed quite loudly and suddenly Sephiroth was standing in the door of his office. Tseng blinked, tilting his head to the side as he tried to act like his second was not hiding under his desk, between his legs. He could only imagine the chaos the rumors coming from that particular little detail would cause.

"Tseng..." Sephiroth stated, a smug little smirk appearing on his face. Tseng felt Reno tense up, his fingers clutching at the fabric of his pants harsh enough to tear the fabric. Reno was so going to owe him a pair of pants and dinner, if he survived this anyway. "I don't suppose you've seen Reno since our last encounter?"

Tseng smirked at him, planting a foot dead on in Reno's side in an effort to make the redhead release his slacks. "No, no I haven't." He said, lying through his teeth without even flinching at the thought of what the General would do to him if he found out he was lying. Sephiroth blinked.

"You haven't?" He sounded surprised. "Then who is that under your desk?" He demanded, suddenly suspicious. He had always known that Tseng could lie with a straight face, but he wasn't aware that he could lie to him without even blinking, and for Reno at that. Tseng hesitated for a second, mind flashing through all the possibilities.

Tseng smirked. Not only would he get one up on Sephiroth with this, Reno would owe him one and Rufus would get the punishment he deserved for filling the coffee maker with DeCaf for three months in a row. By Ifrit, that had been the longest three months ever. "Rufus of course...As a reward for special..." He emphasized special by making finger quotes. "...services done for the Vice President." Sephiroth looked torn between amusement and disgust.

"I always knew that you were a slut..." Sephiroth sneered, before stalking out of the office. Tseng looked at his lap and did not like the look he saw in those sparkling green eyes. He sighed; deciding it was best to shut this down before it got started.

"No, I have not, nor will I ever, had relations with Rufus Shinra. And you, sir, owe me big time for this." Tseng said, shaking a finger in front of Reno's face just as Elena stepped into the office. She looked very, very confused.

"Uh, sir. Why are you talking to your..." Before she, or even Tseng could blink, Sephiroth was standing in the doorway, an angry looking Rufus behind him and Reno was only a red blur heading towards the open vent. Tseng regarded them coolly.

"I'm only doing my job." He shrugged and turned back to the pointless mission reports as Sephiroth stomped off and Rufus fumed, wanting to strangle the man who had made protecting the other Turks the Turk Leader's first priority.

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TBC

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Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.

Heh, maybe I'll write a second one just to make y'all happy.