War Inside

Leatherhead had a feeling that he knew exactly why Lily was screaming. He glanced at Don, he was biting his lip. The pain was just terrible. He had to gently press a bit harder just as Don did a violent jerk and let out a yell.

Pounding came from the door, "What's happened?!" Michelangelo was the one to yell. "Oomph…Raph! Damn it, why are you and Rachel all of the sudden the body guards?!" he sounded like he was about to cry.

"Mikey, I'm sorry," Raphael's voice was strangled, "Please…faith, hope, and a god damned amount of luck is what we need now, not questions."

"Will they be alright?" Mikey asked, barely able to be heard as Lily screamed again.

"Honestly I have no idea. Now, Mikey, please back off," Raph pleaded.

Nothing more from them was heard.

It was all Lily could do to just grip Donatello's hand harder. Their elbows were propped on the lab table and their arms were pressed together firmly…sort of like they were in a wrestling match, and they kind of were…

He remembered a water balloon fight that Bria and Rachel once organized during the summer in July because Bria couldn't handle the heat. Rachel was holding on her own just fine. He remembered how Lily hissed at the idea. He remembered the first time he met Lily and how he asked her non-stop questions, and she never seemed to be bothered by it…

He remembered how he got so frustrated at one of his inventions and how Lily managed to calm him down, and helped him work on it. He remembered how she laughed when Rachel and Bria were sparring and how they both somehow managed trip over each other and make a pile. He remembered how Lily broke up the fights between Leo and Raph when he did all he could and they still wouldn't calm down.

He remembered how Lily and Rachel ganged up on him to make him sleep. How Lily and Bria sparred with one another, and how balanced she was. How fast and brilliant she was even though fighting wasn't her thing. How she would much rather just be herself without a weapon.

He remembered their conversations on the randomest topics. Her smiling when she was asked a question… her frown when she was thinking. He remembered all of that.

Those memories were the ones that made him fight.

Lily was the same. Although where Donatello's eyes were already shut, hers went unfocused. His thoughts...his memories...she could hear them now, both past and present. He went through all of his memories even from long before they had met.

He made decisions she would have made, made decisions she absently thought she would have had a better solution to...and some decisions that neither of them knew what the hell to do about. She experienced his pains, his happy moments, and his anger. The want to make peace instead of fight, but at times knew complete that they had no choice.

It was like she was one with him now…No longer separate, yet individuals at the same time.

Then the one memory she needed the point of view from…

The one where he had had his secondary mutation…

A choked sob escaped her as she screamed again for what seemed to be the thousandth time when it actually was the 3rd or 4th. The burning…the pain, the horror and heightened instincts… She felt it all so keenly she felt it in her own body, ripping at her insides. He had lied to his brothers when he had said he didn't remember anything about it. The only true lie he had ever made to them.

Screams came until she was hoarse, but she never once pulled from the memory. Hatred…hatred toward Bishop and himself… He nearly hurt one of his brothers and sensei, and that hurt him terribly. They had all tried to talk to him, to get him under control, and he had heard every word. Eventually, the monster he had become was too much.

She heard tears of her clothing as she shape-shifted, and sobs and cries came from not only her but Nao. A couple others...she couldn't tell. It seemed the others had forced their way inside. "No…" Lily choked, "I won't let it…" she rumbled very dangerously, menacingly. She felt extremely sharp teeth tear at her lower lip, 'I won't allow you to take control of me!'

"Why shouldn't I?" A deep voice rumbled.

"Because you're not worth the hassle," Lily hissed low, "You'll hurt them. My family. You hurt Donatello. I won't allow that to happen." Short clipped sentences, but full of meaning and threat… She felt a little of her body turn back to normal.

"You won't or you can't?" The voice asked back, "Their not the same thing."

Rachel could hear the voice. She had a feeling that Bria could too. If Matt and Andy were here, that was a possibility that they would hear it too. 'Can't or won't they don't mean the same thing…' She thought to herself. It wasn't a riddle, at the same time it was. She knew this riddle like the back of her hand. She can't let it hurt the family or she won't let it. Just same as she can't die or she won't die.

'The same as either your going or your not…' Rachel bit her lip as she felt the monster growl. It didn't like being figured out it looked like.

"WON'T!" Lily's lioness roar thundered. She held tighter to Donatello's hand…it was her life-line right now. Feeling his growing warmth relieved her enough so she didn't have to exactly worry about hurting him. "Never. I won't. I refuse to let you win!"

The monster didn't back down. Instead he just laughed, "Aren't you being selfish? A little too much?"

Rachel's eyes narrowed as she heard that. She didn't like the feeling of this.

The monster laughed softly, "You'll just change right along with him. That's how far your 'unselfishness' is going to go."

"Over my dead body. Over my obliterated soul will I allow that to happen," Lily hissed. Out of everyone, including Nao…she was the most unselfish. The monster knew that.

"Oh really?" The monster drawled. "Even when you'll just kill each other in the end? Even when that's all there is?"

Lily pondered that one, but only for a small second, "I knew the risks when I told Leatherhead and Nao to do the transfusion anyway. I was…no, I am still willing to give up everything just so long as he can live. He has so much to do yet, so many things to accomplish. I won't let him go without a fight. That includes you."

"Of coarse, selfish. What if this is what he wants? I wouldn't be here, if that's what he wants."

Rachel let out a startled gasp. What a dirty trick!

Lily faltered, and gave a choked gasp as the monster took advantage of that. She held her ground, however, bracing her feet apart and rested her fevered head against Don's cheek. "What the fucking hell. I could care less at this given moment if I'm selfish. The Donny-Don I know wouldn't bow down to someone like you, and I won't either."

Don couldn't hear what was going on. He could feel something though. Something wet....something wasn't right. He closed his 'eyes' and he tried to get a look to see what was going on, but the darkness was too thick. He couldn't see anything. He needed something, a light maybe. He wished, he knew what was going on.

More of a breath that a word, Lily whispered his name… The transfusion was almost complete. She just needed to complete this task…

The monster watched for the longest time before asking, "What is that makes you so determined to save someone like him?"

The corners of Lily's lips twitched, "Isn't it obvious?" she was asking both of them, the monster and herself, "The answer to that question…is it so simple?"

Nao looked around frantically and found what she was looking for. She grabbed the crystal Don had on his desk and held it long-ways parallel to Lily's head.

Lily smiled ruefully and looked up into the crystal...her reflection was the monster inside her. She was pure white and the eyes were the complete evil cat. She didn't dare think about the rest of her body… "I love him." Was all she said.

The monster suddenly disappeared, but both Rachel and Lily could tell that he was still there. He was just now a part of Lily. 'A dark side…' Rachel thought to herself as she touched her chest and watched as the monster faded from Lily and from Don. It was still and silent now.

Lily's body shook, but felt Donatello no longer was. Her body was back to normal...yet her teeth still had a slightly sharper edge and she felt...taller. 5ft2, she guessed. Taking a deep breath which stilled her mostly as she held it, she gritted her teeth and sliced their combined artery. Immediately both of them healed…seemed Don had gotten the Healing Touch now. She smiled absently.

Raphael chuckled as he sat down next to her and pulled her close, kissing her hair.