It was a long time before Lana got her bearings together and put her emotions in check. She had let them pour out most of the afternoon sitting on the dusty steps before calming herself.

'I said it was okay for him to move on, I shouldn't be upset.' Lana thought, standing up and pulling her loose hair into a low ponytail, 'It's not his fault that I couldn't.' Wiping her tear stained cheeks, Lana looked at the house across the way, it had been hours since she'd left before her little breakdown and knew it was time to be heading back. Quickly pulling out her compact mirror, Lana checked the reflection staring back at her. Seeing her eyes red and puffy, Lana said aloud, "Pathetic," and applied cover up, concealing fallen tears.

Clark sat on the edge of his bed, still reeling from the day's events. Lana Lang had returned. He shook his head in disbelief, it seemed surreal. He found himself anxious for her to return from the walk, but that had been hours ago. Lana didn't say where she was going and he didn't want to bother her so he resisted going after her. Unable to read her facial expressions, Clark was confused. He hoped the way Lois acted wasn't the reason for her sudden departure. Embarrassment was an understatement when he thought of the way Lois was touching him. Never had she touched him so intimately in front of others. He had tried to get her to stop, but just didn't get the hint. Relief washed over him when she left him to help his mother, thinking that he might actually get to have a conversation with Lana. They hadn't said more than a few things to each other and he needed more.

Standing up, he walked to the old desk in the corner of the bedroom and opened a drawer. Digging under a pile of papers, he found what he was looking for. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth staring at the faded picture. He saw the happiness in both of their eyes that he no longer noticed in his own anymore. Lana was on his back and they were goofing around, so young and carefree. How did things become so complicated? He rarely removed it from his desk anymore, reminding him of everything he lost by letting Lana go…

"Clark, what's wrong?" She could tell something was upsetting him as she approached, he could never hide his emotions from her. No matter how hard he tried. Her small, soft hand found its way onto Clark's shoulder, forcing him to turn and face her, "I know something is bothering you. Please tell me," she pleaded.

"Lana, I… I have to leave," his voice was barely above a whisper and he refused to look her in the eyes.

Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, "Leave? What do you mean?"

Finally finding the courage to look her in the eyes, he hesitated before saying, "I have to leave Smallville."

"Okayyy, are you going to elaborate more, or are you going to make me continue to interrogate you?" Did he mean leaving on vacation or what? She was even more confused, her heart rate beginning to exhilarate.

Clark was nervous, his hands shaky, he didn't want to do this, but knew he had to. Grabbing her small hands in his, he stared into her entrancing eyes, "I've done so much here, but with my powers, I can do so much more. I've been thinking about this a lot lately Lana," unable to tear himself away, he saw the fear in her eyes growing as he continued, "I'm leaving Smallville for good. I'm going to travel the world, using my powers to help others. It's my calling, I'm no longer needed here."

Lana's voice trembled and she felt her heart breaking in two, was he going to leave her as well? "I need you," she whispered, placing a hand on his chest. Looking away, a single tear slid down her cheek.

Cupping her beautiful face in his hands and turning her head to face him, he wiped the lone tear away with his thumb, "Lana, please don't cry. You know I hate to see you cry."

"I, uh noticed the emphasis on your use of 'I', assuming there will not be a we," she said, feeling anger beginning to boil up. Lana knew she was being selfish, but she couldn't help it. They had been through so much and when they were finally on the right track, Clark was going to leave her. Why was life always unfair to her.

"Lana," he hated doing this to her, hated leaving her, but he didn't have a choice, "I can't take you, it could be dangerous."

Stepping back, Lana turned away from Clark, "Clark, I'm not saying that I want to up and leave Smallville, but I want to be with you. We are meant to be and you are just throwing that away?" Of course she wanted him to help others, but why couldn't she be there with him? Cheering him on, being his strength when times got tough.

Clark moved closer to her yet, his own heart breaking from what he was doing, "No Lana, I don't want to throw this away, but you have to understand. I don't have a choice."

Quickly spinning to face him, Lana fiercely kissed him and then just as quickly pulled away, "You always have a choice." She then headed toward the steps and began her descent. Pausing after only a few steps, she looked back at Clark to see him staring after her with sorrow written all over his face and she knew. She knew his choice and it killed her inside, "When will you be back?" She was going to be brave, he needed that from her as well.

Gulping, he breathed deeply, "I don't know."

A faint smile appeared across her face and she was only able to muster, "Don't forget to say goodbye." With that she left the barn, not daring to look back.

That was the last time he spoke to Lana…until today. He left that night…without saying goodbye. Clark had meant to, but when it came time for him to leave, he just couldn't do it. He knew he wouldn't want to leave Lana if he had. Sighing heavily he reached for the yellowed envelope also in the drawer. Chloe had given it to him when he returned almost a year later. Clark was devastated to say the least when he found Lana had moved away and no one knew to where. Even with Chloe reassuring him that Lana had told her she loved him and wanted him to move on. Her image was what had encouraged him to continue to do what was right even though so many times he wanted to give up. When he thought of Lana, he knew she wouldn't want him to quit. He waited to read the letter until he was all alone, under their special tree. The tree where they had made many happy memories.

Pulling out the tattered letter he had read so many times, he unfolded it and read it once again.

Clark,

I knew it was you the second I saw that image. A flying man appearing from nowhere to do the right thing.

Among your many abilities, you have the uncanny power to arrive…or disappear at the most dramatic times. I know you're reading this at home. The first place you went after the crowd pushed in on you, clawing, begging. Besides how else would Chloe had given it to you?

I know you're under the tree we fed together with secrets and chatter and silence. How do I know this? Because I know you.

I know you're terrified.

The world is not a kind place, Clark. Fate plays games with us all. Life rarely go according to plan…and that's what makes it so damn incredible.

I wanted a life with you, where the two of us would spend forever in a bubble away from the world. Safe. Normal. More of the same in a small town. That was my plan…Doomed from the start…because you were meant to leave me before I'd even laid eyes on you. That's why you left Smallville without me…and I'm glad you did. As much as I am upset I truly understand.

You belong to the world Clark. In your heart you know it. Now matter how scary that sounds, how insane.

They need you…we all need you…and I know you will find a way to help as many as you can, because that's what you do.

Just…one favor. While you're soaring through the clouds, helping, just try to remember me. No matter what heights you achieve, you will always be Clark Kent, the boy I fell in love with…

But "Superman" suits you as well.

Love Always,

Lana

Her words had soothed his aching heart. Clark found it funny how well she knew him and he missed her. Lana's request of remembering her was the easiest task he'd ever have. There was no way he'd ever forget Lana Lang.