AN: I've thought about this scene a lot since I first came up with the idea for writing a story where Jason and Supes don't have a good relationship. It's gone through a few changes, but I finally decided that this is how it works best. I hope you feel the same way about it. When I first envisioned this whole story arc, I considered what would have to happen to tick someone off the most. I don't have a super hero for a father, but I think everyone can agree that the ability to fly on your own would be down right awesome! Thus, I purposefully took that ability away from Jason when I wrote "Shadow of my Father." Now, having gone back and written up to that point, I hope this chapter makes it clear to everyone just how much that hurts him and why it was such a turning point in his young life.

Many thanks to the beta readers on this one. Htbthomas the super beta - who once again called me on my habit of changing tenses. Grrr... just when I think I have that one nicked. And Hellish Red Devil who has become the ultimate fangurl in her comments. That totally fuels me on and keeps me writing more! You guys rox!

Lastly – there are over 40 of you with this fic on alert. I think the alert thingy isn't working because I haven't heard from so many of you in a long time. If you would like more updates and teasers and to participate in discussion and see pictures I have found that fit with the story, please visit me on my LJ. E-mail me at alphielj at yahoo dot com and I will send you a link to where you can find the story if you are having trouble searching LJ.

Age 15 and a half – Grounded

The noise level on the bus was rather irritating, especially to someone with overly sensitive ears like mine, but there wasn't much I could do about it. Like so many other things, I would just have to deal with it privately and try not to draw attention to the fact that I was getting a headache. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples in a hopeless attempt to ease some of my discomfort.

"Do you have a headache?" Meredith asked from beside me.

"Just a little one," I admitted, giving her a half-hearted smile.

"Want me to rub your neck?"

Before I could answer yes or no, her fingers were at the nape of my neck, squeezing and rubbing against my skin, relaxing me almost instantly. It was always one way or the other with her. She either made me feel totally relaxed and at ease or so on edge with excitement and/or anxiety that my heart would race. There wasn't much of a middle ground with her.

"Look at that," she mumbled while watching the world pass by outside.

"What?"

"There's nothing here."

I looked out the window to see the farmhouses and fields that she was describing as nothing. "Sure there is. There's a barn and some cows and a tractor…"

"Jason," she groaned and her hand on my neck stilled. "You know what I mean. There's nothing to do."

"I think it looks peaceful."

"And I think I would go insane if I had to live out here." She smiled up at me and called my bluff. "You can't tell me that you would like it out here, because I know how much you love the city."

"I didn't say I wanted to live out here. I just said it looked peaceful." My gaze lingered on the open fields passing by in a blur of yellow. "Haven't you ever wanted to escape to someplace quiet? Someplace where there are no distractions. Where it's just… wide open… and you can just run and be free?"

She made a face at me. "No."

I shrugged. "Well, I have."

Our eyes met and I could feel that familiar tingle in my gut whenever she looked at me like that. "Every time I think I've got you figured out," she said, "you go and surprise me."

Raising one eyebrow at her, I said, "I wouldn't want you to get bored with me. Where's the fun in being predictable?"

She giggled and pulled my face down to hers for a soft kiss. She pulled away with a beautiful smile on her lips and resumed rubbing my neck. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of her hands on my skin. We'd been together for almost three months now, but since we saw each other every day at school it seemed like longer. Still, I didn't think I'd ever stop feeling that twinge of excitement over the fact that she wanted to touch me… that she would willingly touch me. Not that we had done much of anything that would get us into real trouble, but it wasn't as if I hadn't at least thought about it.

Outside, I saw the sign for our final destination and felt a rush of relief that I'd soon be free of the constant noise surrounding me. Noise in the open air was certainly more tolerable than noise in an enclosed school bus.

"Hey," Marcus said from behind me, giving me a bop on the head. "You got any aspirin?"

"No," I groaned. "If I did, I'd be taking it myself."

"It sucks that we have to travel this way," Liz said beside him. "It's bad enough that we are forced to endure such lame field trips like this, but couldn't they at least supply us with decent travel accommodations?"

"A field trip might be lame," Marcus said, "but it's better than sitting through another one of Mr. Bender's boring lectures on the historical influence of Chaucer."

"The Canterbury Tales weren't that bad," Meredith said. "It was better than Lord of the Flies. Blech!" She made a face.

At last, the bus slowed down before it jerked to a stop. We all climbed off and stepped out into the wide, open space of Nowheresville, New York.

"I hate agriculture," Liz mumbled.

Marcus took her hand, "Don't tell me you're afraid of cows?"

"No, I'm afraid of stepping in something a cow has left behind. These are new shoes!" she explained, twisting her foot just so to show off her stylish footwear.

"Come on," Meredith tugged on Liz's arm. "Potty break."

"We'll meet you over at the entrance," I said.

"What is it with girls and the need to pee together?" Marcus asked once the girls were out of earshot.

I shrugged. "I dunno. Ask them."

He gave me look. "No way. Come on, let's go get our tickets."

The school had felt it necessary to implement an agricultural appreciation week once a year to better round out our otherwise very city-oriented education. It started a few years ago, and this year they decided to send the entire sophomore class to a historical farm upstate to spend the day learning not only about agriculture, but history as well. Not many of us really looked forward to the day, but what choice did we have? The Holland Farm, as it was called, wasn't going to be the most exciting field trip ever, but at least we weren't in class and had the chance to be outside on this beautiful autumn day.

Marcus elbowed my side. "Why don't we split up and tackle two things at once. You go get our lunch packs and water and I'll go get the tickets."

"Okay," I agreed and headed off to the concession area to pick up four sack lunches and four bottles of water. The line wasn't too long, and while I waited I looked off into the distance, past the entrance to the farm, and out into the seemingly endless amount of land stretching out in front of me. It had been a long time since I'd seen so much open space.

A person could do an awful lot of running out there and never be seen by anyone.

Three years. It had been three years since I'd really been able to run as fast as I could without worrying someone would see me. Three years since I'd tested the limits of what this alien body could really do. Three years since I'd really even had the chance. Just looking out at the corn made me realize how much I wanted to have another chance, but this time it was about something more than just running and jumping. This time that chance was about flying.

For months now I'd been waiting for it to happen. I would wake up and swing my legs over the edge of my bed and wonder if I was actually going to touch the floor today. Once my feet would be firmly planted on the ground, I would jump and expect to stay in the air. I'd tried and tried, over and over again. I'd even risked it a few times outside of my house in the middle of the night. I climbed up a ladder to get as high as I could and jumped off, hoping I would somehow float and never touch the ground. But nothing seemed to be working so far.

My sixteenth birthday was only a few months away. I knew that he had flown when he was fifteen, so that meant I only had a short amount of time to figure this one out or I'd be really behind him. I knew I'd never be as fast or as strong as him, and that fact always seemed to disappoint him, but I figured that once I learned how to fly he'd look past my other faults and come to accept me for who I was – as his son.

I squinted, zeroing my vision in on a point several miles away. There was another farm with a water tower in the middle of the field. That's how he had first flown. He jumped off the tower on his farm and fell through the roof of the barn but never hit the ground. Maybe I could somehow get on top of a tower and try the same technique? Maybe if I could jump high enough, gravity would unnaturally reverse itself and I'd defy it for once. Maybe… if only I had enough space.

And this was the first time in three years I'd even been presented with enough space to even attempt it. I had to try.

"Here you go," the lady handing out lunches said to me.

I hadn't even noticed the line had moved forward. "Um… thanks."

I took only one bag for myself. Glancing around, I didn't see any sign of Marcus or the girls. No one was even looking at me. Much in the same way I'd seen Clark maneuver time and time again, I casually slipped around the side of the visitors' building, where I was completely hidden from any curious onlooker's view. Then, after taking a deep breath and once more making sure no one could see me, I darted away from the building as fast as I could.

In a few seconds, I was standing beside the water tower, slightly out of breath. I sat my bag lunch down on the ground and looked up into the sky. Even though the air was cool on this fall day, the sunlight was so bright, so intense. It felt stronger out here in the open than it did in Metropolis, which made sense when I considered that the air in the city was more polluted. Out here in the open, there was nothing to block the radiation from reaching me. No wonder he liked to fly so much. It was the fastest way he could reach pure sunlight. Now it was my chance to do the same. My chance to fly up above the clouds and feel the full power of the sun.

I took a slow, deep breath and concentrated all my energy on being as light as I could. And then I was off. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me before pushing off the ground and soaring into the air. I felt the slight lurch of my stomach as for a split second, I was weightless…until gravity pulled me down again. I hit the ground with a thud, falling forward into the dirt.

I stood up and brushed myself off. That wasn't bad for my first try. Not bad… but not good enough either. I had to be faster, stronger. I had to jump higher. I had to push myself more than I'd ever pushed before if I was going to accomplish this.

I tried a second time, my feet brushing against the earth so fast that dust flew up behind me. I jumped into the air and again soared weightless for a moment before plummeting back to the ground. Determined to get this right, I didn't wait long before making my third attempt. Into the air I went, only to come right back down again.

I landed close to the water tower. If anything was holding me back it was the fact that I wasn't able to get high enough. If I jumped off of the water tower, surely that would give me enough airtime to resist the pull of gravity and stay in the air, if only for a minute or two. That's all I needed. I could feel my body wanting to resist it; I only needed that quick minute to make that all-important adjustment.

I pushed off the ground, grabbed onto the edge of the water tower, and pulled myself up on top of the tower, where I had a perfect view of the surrounding field. Closing my eyes and tilting my face upward, I willed my body to absorb as much sunlight as it could. I tried to push the human part of me to the background and let the Kryptonian side of my nature take over. I could feel my body responding to the heat and knew that if ever I was ready to fly, now was the time. Opening my eyes, I set my aim away from the barn and the house and out into the center of the farm. I walked slowly back to the other edge of the tower, took a deep breath, and charged ahead as hard and as with as much determination I could muster.

My body flew into the air and again that feeling of weightlessness overcame me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of being free from the restraints of the earth – free from the pull of gravity. Free. There was no other feeling like this in the world, and I wanted it to last forever.

Suddenly, I was being pulled downward. I opened my eyes in time to see the ground rushing up at me before hitting down hard a split second later. I rolled over, dust flying around me everywhere, until I came to a stop lying flat on my back.

That hadn't exactly felt good. In fact, it kind of hurt a bit. Coughing from all the dust, I sat up slowly, noticing a pain in my side as I moved. "Ouch," I groaned, touching the tender spot on my side.

"Jason!"

I turned around, wincing slightly, to see him land and rush over to where I was still sitting on the ground.

"Are you all right?"

His face was screwed up in worry and his voice wasn't the usual calm and collected sound he normally reserved for Superman. It was more like Clark's voice. He was looking at me as if he had never seen me before. I was surprised and curious as to why he was acting so strangely.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I think I just landed too hard."

Before I could register what was happening, his arms were around me, holding me tightly as he whispered a soft, "Oh, thank God."

I blinked and froze in place, completely taken aback by his curious and sudden emotional outpour. After a moment, I pulled away and looked up at him in confusion. "What's wrong?"

His hands rested on my shoulders. "The school called your mother. They said you vanished – that no one had seen you since you arrived at the Holland Farm. Lois has been in a total panic thinking something awful happened to you. Richard got into it with the police because they said they couldn't start a search for you until you were missing for forty-eight hours. And I—" He took a deep breath and ran a hand down the side of my face. "I'm just so glad you're okay."

I wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't normal for him to be this out of sorts. It was an understatement to say that I was shocked he seemed as worried as he was. He'd never acted like this before and it made me uncomfortable. I wasn't used to him being so… affectionate. Feeling a bit claustrophobic by his closeness, I took a step away from him.

"What are you doing out here anyway?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I just – you know – needed some space."

"What do you—" He stopped short, having caught on to my meaning. "Space? To run?"

"Yeah. You know, like you showed me in Kansas," I confirmed.

He frowned down at me. "So you skipped class to come out here?"

"It's not like I'm missing much of anything important," I said flippantly. "This is just a field trip."

"But you didn't tell anyone you were coming out here. People have been worried about you."

"Well, it's not like I could tell anyone. 'No one can know, Jason,'" I quoted him, mocking his deep voice. "How many times have you told me that?"

"Yes, you're right," he agreed. "But you could have asked me. If you wanted to come to a place like this, you should have just asked me."

"Yeah, 'cause the last time you took me somewhere it ended so well. I'd really like a repeat of that experience."

Sighing heavily, he said, "The point is that you can't just wander off and not tell someone where you are. Didn't you even think that someone might worry about you? Your teacher? Your friends? What about your mother? You have her scared out her mind that something bad has happened to you."

I moaned in frustration. How typical of him to stay away from me for a long period of time and then show up just to scold me. "Okay, I get the point. I'll never do it again. I just…"

"Just what?"

"Just thought maybe I could…"

"Could what?"

I rolled my eyes. "It doesn't matter."

He wet his lips and looked down at me sadly. "I need to take you back to your class."

"But they'll see," I protested.

"I'll take you just far enough—"

"I can get back on my own. It's not that far. Just… go and tell Mom I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, just go." For someone who was always worried about people finding out about our relationship, it sure was odd that he was so willing to risk being spotted now.

He smiled at me. "I'm glad you're safe, Jason. I'll wait here until I can see that you are back with your class."

I groaned again, but knew it was pointless to argue with him. Before he could scold me further or offer any more unwanted parental advice, I darted back towards the Holland Farm where my class was busy touring the grounds.

When my teacher saw me, and once they had verified that I had indeed wandered off of my own free will and hadn't been abducted, I was thoroughly reprimanded and given my first detention ever. Meredith had tears in her eyes when she saw me. She hugged me tight and repeatedly told me how worried she had been. Marcus clapped me on the back and told me that the next time I planned to skip a boring field trip that I should let him know ahead of time so he could join me. That statement didn't make Meredith happy at all, and she spent the ride back to school sitting next to her girlfriends and not me.

When I arrived at home, Mom was waiting for me. She was livid, anger fuming from every pore. I hadn't even taken my jacket off before she laid into me. "I cannot believe that you would do such a thing! What were you even thinking taking off like that? Have you any idea how terrified I was?"

"Mom—"

"You had all of us scared out of our minds with worry, Jason! Didn't you even consider what it would look like to us for you to just disappear like that?"

"No, I didn't," I admitted, which evidently surprised Mom because she stopped yelling at me. "I'm sorry," I added softly. "But Mom, you need to understand that I can protect myself. If anyone did try to hurt me or kidnap me or whatever you were thinking, I could fight back. I'm not a little boy. I'm a lot stronger and tougher than I look."

She pursed her lips. "And you need to understand that you are still my son and that I will always worry about you. You're right, you're not a little boy, but you aren't an adult yet either. There are still rules to follow, Jason, and you broke some pretty big ones today."

"I know," I sighed.

She nodded at me. "The school said you would be punished. Did they suspend you?"

I shook my head. "Detention all next week."

"I've very upset at you. You are too good of a student to have that kind of thing on your record." She crossed her arms in front of her. "When Richard comes home, we'll talk about your punishment here."

My mouth snapped open. "But Mom, I had a good reason!"

"There is no good reason to skip school and scare everyone half to death!"

"But Mom—"

"You have to be more careful. Have you any idea what someone could do – how they could use you – exploit who you are? You are special, Jason!"

"I know!" I yelled before I could even register what she was saying. After a pause I went on. "I skipped out because I needed some space."

"To do what? Test your powers?"

"Yes," I said too quickly. Mom waited for me to explain more, and so, rather hesitantly, feeling more and more embarrassed by the second that I had to admit this to her, I said, "I was trying… trying to… um… to fly."

Her face softened. "And how did it go?" she asked softly.

"It didn't," I grumbled. "I almost got it, but… he showed up and made me go back to class."

"Why didn't you just tell us that you needed to try this? If you had told us you wanted some space, we would have taken you—"

"If I had told you, then you would have told him, and I really don't want to fail in front of him again. So I had to do this on my own."

She bit at her lip a moment. "All right. I can buy that. But it doesn't change the fact that skipping school is out of line and that you were wrong not to at least call me and tell me you were okay. Next time you feel the urge to take a detour like that, at least call home and let someone know you aren't lying dead somewhere."

I could agree to that. "Okay. I'm sorry I worried you like that."

"And there will still be a punishment."

I grimaced at her.

"It won't be too severe, but I have to talk it over with Richard and see what he says."

I could see her point, but I had hoped that once she heard my reason for ditching the field trip that she would drop my punishment altogether. I could only hope she wouldn't ground me, but I didn't want to press my luck by pushing any harder.

"Go on up to your room and get your homework done," she said. "No video games or computer unless you need it for your schoolwork."

That was probably going to be my punishment – no Internet or games. They had taken that away from me once or twice before, so it wouldn't surprise me if they did it again. I could live with that.

I trudged up the steps to my bedroom and flopped down on the bed, feeling both tired and disappointed about everything that had happened today – especially considering the one thing that hadn't happened. If only I had had the chance to try once more. I was so very close. I could feel it in the way my body lurched forward when I was in the air. I had been a spilt second away from flying, and I just hadn't had enough airtime to adjust properly. I needed to try it again, but the problem was that now they knew what I was trying to do. Now they would be waiting. He would be waiting… and watching. The sooner I figured this out the better.

I had only been up in my room about five minutes when I heard the unmistakable sound of his voice downstairs.

"Hello, Lois," he said gently.

"I wondered if you'd come by," Mom replied.

"How is he? What happened?"

"Well, he got detention for skipping the field trip."

I heard him sigh and instinctively knew he was upset with me.

"But at least he's safe," Mom continued.

"I would never let any harm come to him, Lois."

"I know."

It was quiet for a moment and I wondered what was going on. Squinting my eyes, I sat very still on my bed as I willed the walls separating me from them to vanish so that I could see what was happening downstairs. I gasped when I saw them.

He had his arms around her, holding her. Her eyes were closed and her hands rested on his arms as if she needed support. It was strange to see them like that in such an intimate pose. They seemed so comfortable, so… at ease like that. Like they fit. And it made me nauseous to see it. Obviously there had once been something between them. I wasn't stupid – I wasn't some naive child who didn't understand the basics of the birds and the bees. Still, I'd never seen them like that – together – with my own eyes. I'm sure he was only trying to comfort her, but nevertheless it was unnerving to see them holding each other as if they were a couple. Dad would be furious if he knew. I was furious, and I very nearly ran down the steps to tell them what I thought when he started talking again.

"Did you punish him already?"

"No," Mom sighed, pulling away from him. "I don't know what to do."

"One of the reasons I came by to talk to you was to persuade you not to punish him too harshly."

That surprised me. If anything, I expected him to give her a suggestion for how to punish me!

"Why?" she asked.

"Because he got this idea from me."

Again, I was very surprised.

"What do you mean?"

"I—" He faltered for a moment. "Those two days that Jason and I spent together, I took him to a farm out west to do the very thing he was doing today."

"You tried to teach him to fly?" Mom pressed.

Superman frowned. "Fly? No. I took him where he could run and push himself to be faster and stronger without the worry of anyone seeing him." He titled his head to the side. "Was he… He was trying to fly today?"

Mom nodded. "I thought you knew. You did see him, right?"

"Yes, I did, but I didn't realize that's what he was trying to do." His face looked very concerned and hard.

"It's only natural for him to be trying this, though," Mom said. "He said he came close, but that it still didn't happen. Do you have any idea how long until he will… fly?"

The frown on his face deepened as his eyes slowly traveled over the walls to where he could look up at me in my room. Our eyes met briefly, and I gasped. Instantly, the connection was broken and the walls were solid once again.

"I don't know if now is the time to answer that, Lois," I heard him say to Mom.

"Why not? Is he listening?"

"Yes."

"Then it's the perfect time. He has a right to know. We shouldn't keep things like this from him anymore."

"But Lois…"

There was something in the way his voice dropped in volume that I didn't like. He was trying to keep something from me, something he didn't want me to know. Something bad. I wasn't sure if I could take any more bad news from him, but at the same time I knew I had to hear this or else I'd go insane thinking about it.

"He will fly, won't he?" Mom asked.

I held my breath as I waited for the answer, but I didn't hear anything. I squinted again and brought the scene downstairs back into focus just in time to see him shaking his head.

No.

Mom covered her mouth with her hand. "But – but this is what he wants. He's – he has to. He's your son."

"Lois—"

"How do you even know?"

"I know," he started softly, "he'll never fly, Lois, because he's too human."

The air around me suddenly became very thick and heavy. My limbs felt as if they weren't attached to my body correctly. My insides lurched and my heart rate became sporadic. I collapsed facedown on my bed as the tremors of rage and hatred shuddered through my soul. With my face buried in my pillow, I somehow managed to stifle the scream that poured out of me.

"Oh, no," I heard Mom sigh. "Are you sure?"

"I've seen him jump. I've seen the way he travels in a perfect parabola up and then down. It's natural. It's within the confines of the natural laws of gravity."

"But the sunlight – he responds to the sunlight!" Mom argued. "Maybe if he spent more time in the sun, he would be strong enough to—"

"No, Lois," he stopped her. "My ability to fly has nothing to do with the way the sun affects me. It's my molecular structure that allows me to fly. Jason's molecular structure is half-human. He's – he can't—"

He didn't have to finish for I knew what he was going to say; I can't ever fly. I won't ever be like him. I will never be anything more than what I am today – and today I was a disappointment. I was awkward and unsure of my abilities. I was not good enough to be labeled a real Kryptonian, let alone as Superman's son. I was nothing more than a messed up alien-human hybrid who was never even supposed to be born!

"This will devastate him," Mom confirmed. "He's wanted this for so long."

"I know," he whispered.

"Do you want to go talk to him?"

I knew he was looking up at me again, trying to decide if he should come up or not.

I made that choice for him by turning my back to him and muttering under my breath, "Go away."

"He wants to be alone," he told Mom.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"But he needs you."

"No, I don't!" I said aloud. "Just leave me alone!"

"He's angry at me, Lois. He doesn't want to see me right now."

"He's had a shock and he needs time," Mom tried to reassure him.

"Just tell him – make sure he knows—"

I didn't hear the rest. I strained my ears for it, but there was nothing. Just a sniff – as if someone were crying.

"He knows," Mom said, and her voice was clear.

It wasn't Mom that was crying.

"I'll see you around, Lois," he said in an unfamiliar voice.

As was his typical fashion, he was gone in the next moment. He flew away. He had that luxury, after all. When things got too rough, he could fly up, up, and away while the rest of us had to stay with our feet on the ground and work out the problems he had created. Because he could have told me about this sooner. I knew for a fact that he hadn't just come up with this idea right here and now. He'd known for some time that I couldn't fly – that I was too human.

Right then and there, I decided that if my humanity was going to hold me to the Earth, then I would embrace it as never before. There wasn't anything wrong with being human! The entire planet was made up of humans. Only one being living here wasn't human. He was an alien. He was different. He wasn't even born here. He was the odd one, not me. He was the one that was strange and unusual. Not me. And if he didn't want me, then fine with me! I didn't want him. Mom wanted me, and she was human. Dad wanted me, and he was human. Meredith wanted me. Marcus even wanted me around. And they were all human. The only person that didn't seem to want me around was a Kryptonian with a savior complex, and what did his opinion matter!

Well, I'd had it. I was done. If I wasn't Kryptonian enough – if I was too human for his liking, then I didn't need him anymore. I would push aside that part of me that belonged to another planet and focus entirely on my humanity. If Earth wanted me, then I would embrace it fully and totally.

From that night on, my bedroom window stayed locked. When I saw Clark Kent at the Daily Planet, I ignored him. And when I saw Superman flying above me, I looked away from him and kept my gaze focused down at the ground.