Chapter Five

One Year Later:

As Ariana celebrated her nineteenth birthday she was surrounded by her family and newly found friends. Ariana had taken up a position in the fleet, under her father and Dustil was well on his way to becoming a Jedi Knight. Ariana still thought it strange. She could never picture her brother as a Jedi but only now was it beginning to feel normal.

Ariana glanced around the large ballroom. It had been nicely decorated with blue and silver everywhere. For the first time Ariana was wearing a dress. It was long, blue and made of fine silk which gracefully touched the floor, covering her feet.

She glanced at the people around her. Her father was talking with a few other fleet Admirals who had shown up for the occasion and Dustil was standing beside Revan, speaking with a few of the Jedi Masters. Ariana felt happy. As she continued to look around the room, she stopped when her eyes passed over the corner. There was someone there.

She moved closer and quickly noticed that it was Atton. She wasn't surprised to see him wearing the same clothes he was accustomed to. He smiled and gave her a wink. Ariana did not return it as she looked away. She imagined he would have given up with her years ago but apparently there was something driving him, willing him to still be here.

She decided to not go anywhere near Atton and she made her way over to one of the many long tables within the room. She looked at what was on offer and poured herself a drink. She jumped slightly as someone stood close beside her but she instantly knew that it wasn't Atton, since the person's build was much broader and thicker. She looked up and saw Canderous.

She met him earlier in the year but they did not have much to say to each other. Ariana had actually tossed around the idea of a one night stand with him but she knew her father would skin her alive for it. She gave him a small smile and to her surprise, he returned it.

'You seem quiet,' Canderous commented after getting a drink and taking a sip.

Ariana shrugged. 'I'm not feeling real talkative. I'm more than happy to listen to everyone else tonight.' She paused. 'I heard you've become the new Mandalore.'

'You heard right,' he replied in a small whisper. 'I'd like to keep that private.'

'As you wish,' she said with a small smile.

'You should be enjoying yourself,' said Canderous. He gave her a small push away from him, to get her to go and have some fun. Ariana chuckled and gave him a pretend dirty look but she obeyed and went to speak with others.

Towards the end of the night Ariana went for another walk around the ballroom. Atton was still standing in his corner, watching her. She walked back to the table and placed her glass down. She turned towards the doors and noticed a Zabrak standing there, minding his own business, looking peaceful.

Ariana was sure she had seen him around here before. She walked over and gave him a smile. 'I don't believe we've met,' she started politely. 'I'm Ariana Onasi.'

The Zabrak shook her hand briefly and returned the smile. 'I am Bao-Dur.'

Ariana found the name interesting but she didn't ask about it and they talked for a good few minutes. When they said goodbye and she walked away and almost instantly felt a tug on her arm. It was Bao-Dur. He seemed to have more to say.

'Could we have a small private chat, outside?' he asked politely.

'Sure,' said Ariana quietly.

She was a little confused but she followed him to the doors and they walked out onto the balcony. They moved to the edge and Ariana leaned against it, facing Bao-Dur but he remained standing straight, like a soldier and he spoke in the same pleasing, calm tone.

'I have noticed that Atton Rand has taken a great and particular interest in you,' he stated.

'I've noticed it too,' she said, exhaling in a laugh.

'I believe you should be careful with him,' Bao-Dur said slowly, choosing his words wisely. 'It is not my place to tell you of him but I will tell you this; be weary of him. He may be a very different person than you know.'

Ariana wanted to ask questions but Bao-Dur didn't want any. He bowed politely and returned to the ballroom. Ariana turned and leaned on the railing with both arms, looking down over the side. What did he mean by be weary of Atton? Had he done something terrible?

Ariana could admit that despite knowing Atton and him still being around, she still knew hardly anything about him and it did make her father and brother nervous but Ariana had dismissed them. Did others see something with Atton that she could not?

When the night ended, Ariana finished it with her father walking her home. She entwined her arm around his and he escorted her. Lately, many things between them no longer needed to be said.

'I'm glad to see you out of your usual clothes,' he commented casually.

Ariana smiled faintly. 'I thought they were rather fetching.'

'To the opposite sex, yes, I'm sure they were,' said Carth disapprovingly.

They reached the front door and Ariana said goodnight. Carth appeared to have more to say though. 'Ariana,' he started softly. 'I know you seem rather fond of Atton but you know how unsure I am of him. He hangs around but the way he goes about it is rather creepy and you know he's closer to my age than yours.'

'I know,' said Ariana gently. 'I will be careful, I promise.'

Carth seemed happy enough with it and he kissed her on the cheek before saying another goodnight. She waited until he was out of sight before moving inside and closing the door. She walked to the small balcony and continued watching her father. They had become much closer and now Ariana would give anything to keep it that way. She was happy to finally let go of her hatred for him. He had been right when he said it would do her no good to hang onto it.

When Carth disappeared from sight once more Ariana returned inside and went to the bedroom. She quickly changed and lay down. She was tired but she felt unable to sleep. She was still feeling the happy effects of her party.

Later that night, Ariana sat up in bed in fright. There was a noise coming from the front door. She frowned heavily before getting up and wrapping a long, white robe around her. She left her bedroom and looked to the front door to see if the noise would come again. She waited but it did not take long for it to happen.

It was a small rapping at the door and it was quite repetitive. Ariana walked over. 'Who is it?'

'It's Atton,' came the reply. 'I need to talk to you.'

'Atton,' breathed Ariana. 'This is not a good time. It's late and I'm tired....'

'I'm sorry,' he said quickly, cutting in, 'but I have something to tell you and I want you to hear it.'

Ariana opened the door and she let Atton enter. Once she closed the doors Atton grabbed her by the arms and took her over to the couch. He sat her down and began pacing up and down in front of her. He seemed to not take too much notice of her appearance, which Ariana suddenly thought about. She straightened her hair with her fingers and ran her hands over her face before setting her eyes firmly upon Atton.

His frantic pacing began to worry her a little. 'Atton, what's wrong?'

'I want to tell you about my past,' he said, not looking at her. 'I know your spoke with Bao-Dur at your party tonight and I'm worried about what he said.'

'He said I should be weary of you,' said Ariana honestly.

It was true. Bao-Dur had spoken to her during her party but Ariana hardly knew him though he seemed nice and genuine. She hadn't really taken much notice of the warning since she hardly knew what he was referring to.

'Well, I'm sure he has a good reason to be concerned, though it was none of his business,' said Atton tightly.

'What is it you want to tell me?'

'My past,' he said slowly.

He stopped pacing and rubbed his hand, wiping the sweat from them. He seemed quite nervous but Ariana had never seen this side before. It was unusually though she did have to admit that she still hardly knew anything about Atton either, despite how long he's been hanging around. She had asked about his past a few times, but each time he blew it off and managed to change the subject.

Ariana opened her mouth but Atton beat her to it. 'Look, I need you to listen to everything I have to say and then I'll leave but I just need to say it.'

'Why though?'

'Because,' said Atton loudly but he knew the response wasn't enough. He sighed. 'Look, I still like you and I'm more than curious about you but I know nothing will happen unless I'm honest with you and as much as I hate remembering this ... I have to tell you.'

There was a pause. Ariana was unsure of what to say. 'So, please,' said Atton gently. 'Just listen, alright?'

Ariana just nodded and she waited for him to start speaking. Atton began to pace again and he appeared distressed. He ran a hand through his brown hair, making it a little messier and he took an uncomfortable deep breath.

'I fought in the Mandalorian Wars as well as the Jedi Civil War. I originally served the Republic but when Revan defeated the Mandalorians and assumed the mantle of Dark Lord of the Sith I changed sides, along with a great number of Republic forces that had served the Jedi in the war. During the start of the Jedi Civil War, I was part of an elite Special Forces unit.

'We were trained to hide our presence and thoughts from Force-users. Others, including me, who were not trained to feel the Force were sent on missions to kill or capture Jedi that would then be broken and converted to the Sith. It was here that I learned Echani combat methods and how to hide and keep myself from being probed by Jedi.

'I was ruthless and appeared to have a natural talent for it which was recognised by my superiors and they saw my passion for wanting to make Jedi suffer in any way I could, but most of all by making them fall to the dark side.'

Atton paused and briefly glanced over at Ariana but he had to continue. He walked to one side and leaned against the wall. He took another deep breath before continuing.

'However, near the closing days of the war I was confronted by a female Jedi who informed me of my Force-sensitive nature, warning me that the Sith would undoubtedly come after me and break me into a Dark Jedi if they found out. I believed her since I had already heard rumours of disappearances of those who were found to be Force-sensitive in the ranks but...

'My hatred of the Jedi would not allow me to see reason and in retaliation I captured her and tortured her nearly to death. On the verge of dying she managed to lift and she awakened the Force within me, allowing me to see life, to see what I was doing to it all around me by harming others.

'In response, I killed her. I thought I wanted to kill her just for the love of it but I came to realise that I in the end I killed her because I loved her.

'After feeling the Sith I hid in the refugee sector of Nar Shaddaa, blending in with tens of thousands of refugees who had been displaced in both wars. It was there that I was introduced to smuggling, transporting slaves, spice and other various things from the Smuggler's Moon. Not long after all that ... I met you and things changed.

'At the time of meeting you I had lost everything and nothing felt right anymore. Since being able to feel the presence of the Force everything felt strange, foreign and I was unable to block it out but at times I could ignore it.

'Meeting you there was strange, even compared to other females there, you felt different and that's the reason I was so curious about you. I keep needing to know why you seem so different to me. I care about you and all I've wanted to do since meeting you is protect you. I ... love you, I know you won't believe it, but I do.'

Atton's talking ceased and the room went deathly quiet. Slowly, he moved his eyes to look at Ariana but she wasn't looking back. She was staring at her hands and which were sitting in her lap. She had turned even paler than usual and she seemed a little too quiet. Atton knew it had been a mistake.

He waited another moment but nothing changed. Ariana was not going to look at him or move until he left. He moved noiselessly to the front door and opened it.

'When you're ready to face me, I'll be around,' he said quietly before silently slipping out of the door.

Ariana still remained in the same position. She felt glued to the couch, unable to move. Slowly, she felt her hands shake and her skin turned whiter. Tears stung the back of her eyes and she let them fall.

How could she have been so stupid? How could she let him into her life? A part of her knew she was taking a huge risk in her curiosity for a complete stranger and she was now sure that this was her punishment.

Could she forgive Atton? Could she look past his past and move on with him, knowing what he has done?

Her thoughts drifted to Dustil and then Carth. Ariana couldn't find a place in her mind where she had ever felt so foolish.

Days later Ariana was still at home. She found herself incapable of leaving her apartment just yet. She knew Atton would be waiting and she wasn't ready to face him yet but she wanted to get it over with.

Ariana decided she had waited long enough she wasn't about to change her mind on the decision she had made. She showered and changed into a fresh set of clothes before walking towards the ballroom. She remained outside and stood near the pool.

As she waited she knelt down and moved her hand through the water. It felt smooth and cool against her skin. She smiled faintly but it disappeared when a crunching sound interrupted her thoughts.

She stood up and dried her hand. Her eyes met with Atton and he looked rather sheepish but he walked up to her nonetheless and waited. Ariana took a deep breath and looked him over. She felt conflicted. She knew what he had done was terrible but it was in the past, what's done is done so shouldn't she leave it there and move on?

But then her thoughts would return to her family and she found she couldn't. She licked her lips slowly and kept her eyes on Atton's face. She wanted him, needed him to hear her and believe what she had to say.

'Atton,' she started quietly. 'I cannot forgive or forget what you've done and I'm afraid that whenever I look at you it will come back to remind me of it and I don't think I can live like that. I know you were honest with me and told me everything but it still doesn't help.

'From what I have seen of you, you are a different person but the past is still there and I'm sure that dark side of you remains. I need to think of myself and family first. My father disapproves of you and I don't want to lose him again.'

'Is that it?' Atton interrupted, his voice tight.

'No,' said Ariana. 'I still like you but the feelings are conflicting with others and I'm confused by it.'

'You can't forgive me?' asked Atton, wanting to make sure.

'No,' repeated Ariana, 'I want to but I can't. You murdered Jedi just because you could and because you enjoyed it. I don't want any part of that even if it's gone and done. My brother is a Jedi and it hurts me to think of you and him in the same thought.'

Ariana did have more to say but she did not have the voice in which to say it. She closed her mouth and bit back her tears. She walked away from Atton, leaving him staring after her. He seemed angry and upset with himself but Ariana did not look back.

She knew Atton remained on Telos afterwards, watching her though she never saw much of him again but she knew he was there.

Ariana surprised herself when she managed to move on. She remained on Telos with her father and brother, when they were around. Before the year was out, Ariana joined the fleet under her father.

A/N: Story didn't turn out at all how I wanted. I'm not very happy with it and I know it's horribly written. But, thank you, if you did read it.