AN: I know many of you were caught off guard by the last chapter – that you weren't expecting all the angst. I am trying to show that their relationship is real and just as flawed as every relationship is, so thank you to those of your who said as much in your reviews. There are obviously obstacles to overcome, and we're almost over the final hurdle, so just hang with me a little while longer. I'm hoping to be caught up to ItSomF after the next chapter, at which point I will go through that entire fic and make sure everything matches up. So if you are tempted to reread it, you might want to wait a week or so.

I've also had many people asking if this story will be finished once I am caught up with ItSomF. No. What will happen is that the next chapter will be the set up to ItSomF. Then the following chapter will pick up directly after chapter 9 of ItSomF when Clark and Jason have their big talk. Then I will go through his wedding and the birth of Eric, which are both mentioned in ItSomF. I have plans for this story line to continue at least until Jason is 27. So please don't ready yourself to be done with me 'cause I'm not done with Jason yet.

Many thanks to htbthomas and mithah for not only beta reading, but also liking this chapter so much that it eased my nerves about posting it. Thanks to those who reviewed: elliana, ellalou73, 7crazyread, loliann, ecabs, katshakespeare, Elinor, Saiyagirl, Sean Montgomery, katbaby, vouge09, Arhazivory, Eveline, lauraart123, Louise, 4ever1, Shadeslayer 390, cdog21, Moonlight234, miss mckenna, Trekkie6, Butterscotch82, fenice, heartnut, and Elolinone. You all have made this one of, if not my top reviewed chapter proving that angst is more interesting than happiness! And a final thanks to Kon-El for taking over some of my massive plot bunnies and encouraging me to breed more of them!

Word of caution, this chapter is HEAVY on the Pg-13 side.

Age 19 part four: Not So Naked Truth

What had just happened?

The question repeated itself over and over in my head. What had happened? What had I said? What had I done? Had I really said those awful things? Had I really just blown up at her and picked a fight over something as stupid and as trivial as a movie?

Had I heard her correctly? Had she said that she loved me?

And was she really gone? Did this mean she was gone for good? That it was over?

I couldn't fathom it. It was incomprehensible. She loved me and I was a total jerk and pushed her away. Angry at myself for being so stupid and crass, I slammed the door, rattling the walls of the apartment and knocking a few things off the nearby shelf.

My anger was intense, and I felt an uncomfortable pang behind my eyes. I instinctively squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could and covered them with the palms of my hands. Perfect. Just what I needed right now -- a burning reminder that I would never truly be able to have a normal relationship with anyone.

I flopped down on the couch, breathing hard and feeling my heart racing in my chest. The pressure behind my eyes lessened, but I still felt the rage. I covered my face with my arms, grabbing my hair at the back of my head and thinking I was so furious with myself that I could rip out every strand. I'd brought this on myself. I was so worried and so ashamed to admit my own faults that I'd pushed and picked at her until I'd made her leave me. Just like I'd done with Meredith in high school.

I thought long and hard about that – about Meredith. I had cared for her, even thought that maybe I was in love with her. But I knew now that I was infatuated with her more than anything. She was sweet and gentle and kind… but she wasn't Kate. What I felt for Kate was different. I felt whole – complete – like I belonged. I'd lost Meredith, but I was not going to lose Kate.

If I had to grovel and beg and plead with her, I would. If I had to admit to her that I was a jerk and a cretin and full-out asshole, I would. I would tell her whatever I needed to say to get her back. I couldn't lose her. Not like this. I'd tell her… I'd tell her…

I'd tell her I loved her. She'd said she loved me. I knew I loved her; I just needed to tell her so she wouldn't give up on me.

I flung open the door and ran out into the cold night to find her. She couldn't have gotten that far away yet. And I was infinitely quicker than she was. I reached out with my hearing and found the familiar sound of her small feet on the pavement just around the corner and down the block from me. Not even bothering to check to make sure no one was watching me, I darted off toward her more quickly than I should have, but I didn't care. The sooner I apologized to her, the less time she had to be angry with me.

I spotted her as I rounded the corner and called her name loudly. "KATE!"

She did not stop walking.

"KATE!" I was behind her now.

"Just let me go home, Jason."

"No," I said, bounding around her and making her come to a full stop. "No, you're not going home until you hear what I have to say."

She huffed. "I think I've heard enough."

"I'm sorry," I blurted out. "I'm sorry."

She blinked at me, and I could tell that she didn't quite believe me.

"I'm sorry," I repeated softly. "I was a jerk. I was rotten. I was awful." I took a deep breath, watching her expression carefully, and forged on. "I behaved like a bastard… which is part of my problem."

She frowned in confusion.

"I'm sorry," I said again, begging her with my eyes to forgive me. "Please, let's… talk. Let's do whatever we need to do to work this out. Please." I stepped closer to her and placed my hands on her shoulders. "Please."

She looked up at me skeptically. "You can't just start snapping at me the minute I say something that you don't like."

"I know."

"And you can't accuse me of just wanting to analyze your psyche. I know that's my major, but I do care about you, and I'd want to know what's bothering you even if I wasn't studying it."

"I know."

She cocked her head. "Do you? Honestly?"

"Yes," I reassured, holding fast to her gaze. "But it's a two-way street, Kate. You have to be willing to tell me what's bothering you, too."

She looked away, thinking hard, and shifted the bag slung over her shoulder.

"Here, let me take that," I offered, slipping it down her arm.

"Thanks." It was a small step, but at least my efforts thus far had earned me a smile.

"Now, let's go back to my place…"

She scowled.

"… or we could go to your apartment. Wherever you feel more comfortable so we can talk."

She pursed her lips, still thinking.

"Please, Kate. Don't give up on me."

"I'm not giving up on you, Jason. I just worry that… you won't like what I have to say."

She was probably right. "Well, no one likes being told they have psychological problems."

"I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about me. I'm worried that you won't like what I have to tell you… about me."

It did worry me, but I couldn't show her that. "Impossible," I stated. "There isn't anything you could say that would change my mind about how I feel about you."

Her eyes met mine and I could sense a challenge there. As if she honestly thought her past was worse than mine. I highly doubted that, but I wouldn't know until she told me. After a brief, yet tense moment, she turned and signaled for me to follow her.

"Come on. You'll freeze out here without a coat on."

I smiled at the impossibility of her statement and followed her without hesitation.

We walked the short distance to her apartment and somehow managed to slip past her roommates without much notice. Once we were in her room, she shrugged out of her coat, and sat down on the edge of the bed. Uncertain of myself, I remained standing.

"So," she sighed.

"I guess I should go first, huh?" I offered.

She shifted, bringing one leg up and under her while the other one dangled off the edge, and then patted the space next to her for me to sit down. I sat down not knowing exactly what I would say. What could I say? How do you tell someone you love that you've been lying to them since day one? And how much of the truth are you supposed to give? All of it? No. I didn't think I could go that far. But I at least could tell her some of it. I could own up to a few of my real problems, but certainly not the main issue.

I could tell her something I'd never talked about with anyone. Something that I didn't even like to think about myself.

I swallowed hard and started in. "You want to know what bothers me – what happened to me in my past that makes me sad, right?"

She nodded.

"Well, it isn't so much of anything that happened to me. It's more like the fact that... I happened. That I'm here. Because… I wasn't supposed to be."

"I don't understand," she said with a frown.

"I am the epitome – the walking definition of the word 'oops.'" I couldn't look at her as I spoke, for this was one thing I'd avoided talking about with anyone, most especially my parents. "You know when people have a baby and they say it was a 'happy accident' because they didn't exactly plan to get pregnant, but they still loved the baby and went ahead and had it because they did want a baby at some point in their lives? Well, that isn't what happened with me. There wasn't anything 'happy' about my mom accidentally getting pregnant."

"How do you know that?" Kate asked softly.

"Because I've been told so. Because I can do the math and put two and two together." I focused on my hands as I spoke, still unable to look Kate in the eyes. "My mom and dad had only known each other a really short time when I came along." I was talking about Mom and Richard at this point, but I knew that the story would be blurred between Mom and him sooner or later. "They both had really powerful positions in their jobs, both with highly advanced, fast paced careers. Dad wasn't even living in Metropolis at the time. He was only here to help cover a story. And Mom – she was at the top of her game. Star reporter, cutting edge work. My Aunt Lucy laughs when she talks about it. She smiles and winks at me, as if I should enjoy the joke. 'Lois always hated people with families. She hated people who settled down and had kids and bought a house and went to Disney World for vacations.' Like I'm supposed to find it funny that having me was against everything my mother ever wanted in life."

I took a deep breath and chanced a glance over at Kate. She looked very concerned with her brows knit together and her lips pressed tightly. "But Jason," she said softly, "your parents are married and they care about you, so… didn't it all work out okay?"

Far from it! But I couldn't tell her exactly how far off it was. "Kate, I was seven years old when my mom and dad were married. Seven. I walked my mom down the aisle. A while later, I was talking to some kids at school about getting to do that and one of the older kids listening in informed me, for the first time, that I was a bastard. And as I've grown up and come to understand physical relationships and one-night-stands, I realize just how big of a mistake I really was. For all intents and purposes, I was never even supposed to be born."

"Stop that," she snapped suddenly. "Don't talk that way. I don't want to hear that." Her eyes were fierce and her expression sad.

"I'm sorry Kate, but it's the truth."

"No," she said forcefully. "No, it's not. I don't believe that for one second. You're here because you were supposed to be here. We all are here for a reason."

I sighed. "It's difficult for me to think that way, considering the circumstances of my birth. I would like to believe that, but I've grown up knowing just the opposite."

"Well, you'll never convince me of that."

I probably wouldn't, and it did my heart some good to hear her say so. If I could tell her about the things Jor-El had said to me all those years ago, then maybe she would believe me. After all, according to Kryptonian science, I was a walking impossibility. Even now, years later, I could still hear Jor-El's authoritative voice pounding in my head. To even suggest such a hybrid is unfathomable. I wasn't sure which word I hated more --bastard or hybrid. They both left a bitter taste in my mouth. However, I couldn't explain this to Kate. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to explain it to her.

"When you say that you think I'm a good person, that you love me," I paused, waiting for her to correct me and tell me I misunderstood her words, but no correction came, "I have to think to myself… why? How? How can someone so amazing and special like you, love someone who was never supposed to be born? I'm too… damaged."

"Now there you absolutely are wrong," she stated, looking me in the eyes. "For the record, everyone is damaged, including me. Don't put me up on some pedestal, Jason. I'm just as messed up as the next person. Even still, I've never met anyone too far gone that they can't get some help. You are worthy of love, Jason." Her gaze drifted down to a spot on the bedspread. "I just wish I was better at showing you how I feel."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She looked up at me for a moment and then back down to the spot her fingers were now picking away at. "I told you that I usually avoid telling guys that I'm a psych major for fear that they will run screaming from me, right?"

"Right."

"Well, if that doesn't scare them away, then the fact that I don't like sex certainly does the trick."

Her statement totally threw me off guard for a moment and I actually had to replay it in my mind before I realized what she had said. "You don't… like… sex?" I stammered.

She shook her head. "At least not so far, which of course is usually followed by the very obvious suggestion that maybe I just haven't met the right guy."

I wasn't too sure what I was supposed to say – what I supposed to do with that information. "Can you at least tell me why… you don't… like it?" I fumbled, trying to gather more information without sounding like a desperate man.

"It just doesn't feel good," she admitted softly. "Nothing ever really felt good… until I met you," she added gently.

I swallowed hard, uncertain of how to proceed. It was good to know that so far she'd enjoyed being with me, but when it came right down to it, the most we had done was heavy kissing and a few hesitant touches. She had sat on my lap once, and I knew she felt my reaction to her sitting there, but times like that were few and far between. I wondered if the things I had done only felt good to her once in a while.

"So, you do… like… being with me?" I pressed.

"Very much," she confirmed to my relief. "I want, more than anything, to show you how much, but I get tense and afraid and… then I can't."

"Did someone… hurt you?" The idea made me sick to my stomach.

She pursed her lips. "It isn't what you think."

"It isn't?"

"You think someone raped me, right?"

I couldn't answer that. My hands balled up into fists upon hearing the word.

"It wasn't like that. Not really. It wasn't very good, but it wasn't rape. Not technically."

I did not like the way this sounded at all.

"David and I dated all through our junior year of high school. He was always nice, but he was more of a jock. I know now that I was the pretty arm candy for his public life, but he never really mistreated me. When we went to junior prom together, he assumed I'd sleep with him. As much as I thought I was in love with him, I just couldn't. I didn't want my first time to be at some cheap hotel after the prom. I wanted something more than that. So he waited, and I thought that was a sign of how much he cared for me."

She took a deep breath and went on. "We dated through the summer, and he was still pressuring me, but it wasn't until our senior year that he really laid it on. He gave me all the typical lines. 'If you love me, you'll sleep with me. Everyone is doing it. I'll be careful.' And you know how it is. All my friends had been with their boyfriends, so I was feeling like the odd one out. Even my girlfriends started bothering me about it. So one weekend when his parents were away, we did it."

She sighed heavily. "He rented a chick flick to get me in the mood and then undressed me right there in the basement in front of the big screen TV." She shuddered visibly and I nearly came out of my skin in anger. "It was over in about five minutes, and I was left wondering what happened. I didn't like it at all. He was rough – didn't take any care at all that it was my first time – and it hurt. He told me he was sorry – that he should have been more gentle, but he said that no one had a good first time and promised me that it would be better next time."

"Next time?" I blurted out, both in anger and in surprise.

She looked up at me with a rueful smile. "You'd think I would have been smart enough to see through it. But no. I fell for it three more times, and each time was worse than before. I thought something was wrong with me, because all my friends always went on about how good it felt. For me, it was always awful. But then, I had only been with one person, so I could still believe that it wasn't just me."

My stomach flip-flopped. I'd always assumed that someone had hurt her, so I had tried to ready myself for it, but actually knowing the details was more upsetting than I was expecting. I felt a very powerful urge to go out and find this David person and take my anger out on him.

"I've never really had the chance to test that theory, though," Kate continued, drawing me out of my elaborate plans to hunt down the monster that had hurt her. "Every guy I dated after that – when they would get close to me, I would shy away. I would let a guy kiss me good night and maybe even a little more, but it never felt right. All I could think was that they wanted more and I didn't want to give them anything more. One guy back at Virginia State College got so upset with me when I didn't invite him in my apartment after our date that he started badgering me. He'd leave messages on my phone saying how I owed him a good one. He'd text me or e-mail me ten or twelve times a day with rude messages. He went so far as to interrupt my next date to tell the guy I was with that I was frigid and a tease. He was like a stalker, and he wouldn't leave me alone. So when the semester ended, I told my dad that I wanted to switch schools. That's why I moved to Metropolis."

The pieces of the puzzle were slowly clicking into place. I had assumed that the boyfriend who had hurt her was the same man she moved to Metropolis to get away from, but the fact was that there were two different men, an option I had overlooked. I was glad that I understood now, and yet that much more upset that Kate had ever been mistreated by these poor excuses for human beings.

But something didn't quite fit. "Then why did you kiss me after our first date? If you like to go a bit slower, why did you kiss me?"

"Because I really liked you. I wanted to kiss you. And I'm so glad I did, but it makes sense that you're confused by it. I know— I just— I feel so different when I'm with you." She covered her face with her hands out of embarrassment.

It was then that I started to realize I was just as bad as the men who had come before me, given the things I'd said to her earlier.

"You must hate me," I mumbled.

Kate frowned. "Why?"

"Because I said the same thing that other guy said – that you were teasing me."

She scooted closer to me and placed her hand over mine. "You were right to call me out on that. I was teasing you, even if I didn't mean to do it. I shouldn't have led you on like that."

"But Kate—"

"No, listen to me," she stopped me. "What I feel when I'm with you is unlike anything I've ever felt before. When I'm with you and you kiss me… when you touch me," her voice dropped to a near whisper, "I want more. You're so gentle and loving and I just want to forget everything I know and give in to those feelings, but I can't. My brain freezes and I start to worry that if I make love to you, it will prove what I thought before – that it is just me. And I don't want to disappoint you."

"Disappoint me?" I said, taken aback. "How would you disappoint me?"

"Because I know how patient you're being," she said without meeting my eyes. "You probably think I'm crazy for wanting to wait. Maybe I am crazy…" She chuckled self-consciously.

A part of me wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her for feeling like that, but instead, I moved close enough to her so that I could gently take her face in my hands. "Kate, you are the most sane person I know," I declared, drawing her gaze up to mine. "Well, aside from a very peculiar chicken salad fetish that I don't think I'll ever understand." A small laugh escaped her. "I shouldn't make jokes, I know, but I mean it when I say that you have every right to ask me to slow down. I'm not in as much of a rush as you think I am." I brushed the back of my fingers along her pink cheek and played with a few strands of her golden hair.

"But you do want to," she paused, "be with me…" The end of the sentence drifted off like an unfinished question.

I could hear her heart pounding away in her chest. It was so strong that my own heart matched its rhythm. "I feel like a real idiot for not saying this before. I had the chance and I didn't take it. Now, I'm afraid that you'll think I'm just giving you a line, like your first boyfriend."

"What do you mean?"

"I— I want— I— " Growling at myself in frustration for my sudden case of nerves, I took a deep breath and pressed on. "I'm in love with you."

Kate smiled. "Really?"

"Really," I confirmed. "From almost the moment I saw you, and I swear to you that I'm being totally honest. I couldn't take my eyes off of you – couldn't stop thinking about you. I hate that someone hurt you in the past, and I hate myself even more for what I said back at my apartment. When you walked out… those were the worst ten minutes of my life, and that's saying something because I've had a lot of bad moments. I don't ever want to feel like that again." I leaned in and rested my forehead against hers. "However long it takes, I can wait."

"Are you sure?" she asked softly, her mouth very close to mine.

I nodded, brushing my nose against hers. "In fact, there's something else I need to tell you." I was more nervous about admitting this to her than I was about almost anything else, aside from my true parentage. "One of the reasons I've been so patient up until now is because I didn't want to disappoint you. Now that I know what's happened to you in the past, I'm even more concerned than ever."

"Why is that?

"Because I don't want to hurt you," I said honestly. "I'm a lot stronger than I look, Kate, and I am so scared of hurting you, especially now that I know that you were…" I couldn't finish the thought it angered me so.

"What makes you think that you would hurt me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Your other boyfriend hurt you."

"But you aren't anything like him! Everything about the way you touch me is completely different. You're always so gentle." She gasped suddenly and sat back to look more directly at me. "Did you have a bad experience, too? Is that why you think…"

She stopped talking when I closed my eyes.

"You did have a bad experience, then, I take it," she said.

"No, I didn't. Not really. Not like yours at least. Not like…" I sighed, so unable to word it properly. "I've never really had a bad experience because…" My voice dropped to a whisper, "I've never really had any… experience."

I waited for the realization to dawn on her face, and when it did, her heart rate fluttered and her breathing stilled for a moment. Slowly, pausing between nearly every word, she said, "So you're saying that you've never… ever… with anyone…"

"Not all the way, no. I mean, I've dated and I've had a serious girlfriend before. It's not like I'm completely innocent, but I've never… completely… you know." My face was so hot I was certain I was bright red.

Kate blinked, obviously thinking it over carefully.

"You don't believe me, do you?" I asked.

"Well," she hesitated, "I do, I guess, but it's difficult. You're so…"

I waited with worry over what would come next.

"… attractive, and intelligent, and talented. I've been so flattered that you're interested in me because, from where I stand, it seems you could have your pick of women."

I laughed out loud at her conclusion.

"Why is that funny?"

"Because, Kate, don't you remember when we first met how nervous and jittery I was? It takes me a long time to work up the nerve to even talk to a girl I like, let alone actually ask her out on a date. Most of the dates I've been on have been with girls that Lance set me up with."

"Oh," she said. A smile formed on her beautiful face as she processed that information. "Lance's girls are always… um…"

"Yeah, I know," I finished for her, not wanting her to have to make any bad assumptions about me or the girls I'd dated previously. "That's why I was never seriously interested in any of them. Lance is a good guy, so I don't mean to sound like I'm putting him down. But given what I told you about myself earlier – that I'm the result of a casual relationship – and even though my parents did work it out, I'm not really interested in anything like that. I want… more."

She tilted her head and smiled up at me. "Are you for real? You're saying all the right things again."

I leaned forward, placing my hands on her waist. "Telling you I'm nervous about the possibility of making love to you because I don't know what I'm doing and I'm worried I'll botch it all up is the right thing to say?"

She giggled and wrapped her arms around me. "Yes. Right now it is."

We stayed like that for a few moments, our faces so close, our arms curled around each other. Kate's heart pounded out a solid, steady rhythm, which only stared to increase just before she spoke again.

"I love you," she breathed.

"I love you, too," I echoed, feeling the force of the words push all the way through my body. Her chin tilted until her lips brushed against mine slowly, gently. I pulled her closer to me and let my lips linger against hers, savoring the moment.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled against her mouth.

"I'm sorry, too. Apology accepted?"

"Absolutely."

She kissed me again, deeper and longer than before. "I promise I won't make you wait long. I want to be with you so much, Jason."

"It doesn't matter," I said, kissing her again. "I'll wait." Suddenly, I knew what I wanted to do to make this evening right. I pulled away and hopped off the bed to go over to her backpack. "I'll tell you what, as a peace offering and taking full responsibility for being a total ass, I would very much like to finish the movie."

"Oh, Jason, you don't have to watch it if you don't want to."

I slipped the DVD in the player and rejoined Kate on her bed. "I do want to. Truth be told, I was very much enjoying the music. And I've been pretty impressed at how well the actor has faked his way through some of the pieces."

I sat back against her headboard and held out my hand for her to join me. She snuggled up against my side and put her head down on my shoulder. It felt good having her there – it felt right. I was so comfortable with her leaning against me that I didn't even notice she had fallen asleep until the movie ended.

"Kate?" I murmured, trying to wake her up. "Kate?"

She only sighed and snuggled closer to me.

Taking care not to wake her up, I moved her so that she was lying down on the bed. It was easy, given the fact that she hardly weighed anything to me. I tucked the covers up and around her and kissed her cheek good-night before moving to stand up. Before my feet could hit the floor, Kate's hand snapped out from under the covers to find my arm.

"Don't go," she said, keeping her eyes closed.

"Kate, it's late. I should—"

"Stay." Her eyes fluttered open long enough for her to repeat the demand.

"But Kate—"

"Just sleep here tonight. Please."

My heart hammered away, begging me to say yes. I debated it for a moment, but figured that if I stayed on my side of the bed, nothing would happen. After the night we'd had, I wasn't about to take advantage of the situation and end up possibly hurting her again.

I crawled under the covers nervously. Kate's eyes were closed, but having her face so near to mine while I was lying down was a glorious experience. She was so lovely when she slept, and I hoped that this would be the first of many times I'd see her like that. I sunk into my pillow and waited for sleep to overtake me, but it was far too warm for me to be comfortable. I tugged my sweater off and dropped it on the floor beside the bed before finally falling asleep.

But my sleep wasn't as restful as I had hoped it would be. My dreams of a two-faced man and a woman who couldn't decide which face she liked best were strange, as was the sensation of something pressing against my arms. It was a repetitive pulse that I didn't quite understand. A voice in the distance called my name, forcing me closer to consciousness. I didn't want to wake up, wanting instead to solve the question of the perplexing dream. I couldn't feel any warmth in the air, which meant the sun wasn't up yet and my body naturally resisted against giving up on sleep just yet.

The pulse against my arm became more forceful, as did the voice calling my name. I recognized that it was female. Still being in that state of partial sleep, I assumed it was my mother calling me to get out of bed. She should have known better than to wake me up before dawn.

"Jason!" A forceful shove accompanied the voice.

My eyes snapped open to find Kate sitting up and staring down at me with a wide grin on her face.

"What's wrong?" I mumbled, rising up slightly from my prone position on my pillow.

"You talk in your sleep," she chuckled.

"I do?"

"You were saying something about faces and sunlight. When I tried to wake you up you told me you couldn't feel the sunlight."

My heart skipped a beat and I buried my head back in my pillow. "I was having a dream," I offered.

"It must have been one heck of a dream, 'cause you were really hard to wake up."

I glanced at her clock on the nightstand. "It's three in the morning, Kate. I think it would be hard to wake anyone up right now." My head sunk back into the cushion of my pillow.

Kate lowered her self to her pillow and smiled impishly at me. "You know, I've never spent the night with anyone before."

"But you said that you… had… with that guy…" I wasn't sure if it was my drowsiness or my confusion that made it so difficult for me to form the question.

"Oh, I did," she said regrettably, "but I didn't actually ever sleep with him."

"I can't fathom that," I said, closing my eyes as a mix of frustration and anger washed over me.

"What do you mean?"

"How any man could make love to you and then walk away from you is beyond me." As I spoke, a yawn took over my body. I rolled onto my back and stretched my arms over my head. Relaxing back against the bed, I noticed that she was staring wide-eyed at my chest. "What?"

"I've never seen you without a shirt on."

"Oh, um… sorry." I instantly felt guilty for assuming she would be comfortable with me taking off my shirt. Reaching over the edge of the bed where I'd discarded the garment, I said, "I shouldn't have taken it off. Sorry."

Her hand on my bare side stopped me. "No, don't. It's okay."

I looked over my shoulder at her. Our eyes met and something in her face told me she meant it. I slowly lay back down, her hand remaining on my skin. Softly, she brushed her fingers over my chest in tiny circles. The charge that went through my body at such a simple touch was electric. She'd touched my skin under my shirt before, but this felt so different, being exposed and out in the open like this. It felt different with the length of her body touching mine as opposed to sitting next to her on the couch.

"You are so handsome, Jason," she murmured quietly.

Her fingers grew bolder as she explored my skin. My resolve to not rush things was quickly slipping away from me. As if she were testing my limits, she pressed a soft kiss on my shoulder. I shuddered and turned on my side, rising up on my elbow and shifting my hips as far from her as I could manage. After everything she'd told me tonight, the last thing I wanted to do was break my promise to her.

"Kate, I should probably go home."

"No. Please stay." She scooted closer to me.

"Kate—" I began to argue.

"I know," she whispered, wrapping her arms around me. "I know. And I'm telling you it's okay." Her leg snaked its way between mine.

"But I… I… I don't want…"

She kissed me and I completely lost thought of anything but the feel of her lips against mine. "I want this, Jason," she sighed into my mouth.

"Are you sure?" I asked, dragging my lips over hers and tasting her sweet breath.

She hummed a yes and kissed me again, fitting her body fully against mine. I was so lost in the sensations building up inside of me that I didn't hesitate to press intimately against her. We'd never been this close before, and all I could think of was being even closer. I wanted to be as close as two people could be.

"But only if you want to," she said, breaking away from me to look back at me.

I blinked, trying to pull my mind out of the fog it was in to form a coherent sentence. "Yes, I want to. Considering that I've pretty much been a walking erection since I met you… " I swallowed hard, instantly regretting my vulgar word choice.

To my delight, Kate laughed in reply. "Let's see if I can do anything to help you with that."