The next morning I woke up and I was sweating all over and let out a small yelp with it. I was surprised with my actions and slowly got out of my sanctuary…my bed. I must have been on the edge for a few minutes, but I was waiting for something signaling that it would be safe for me to go downstairs and grab a little bit of breakfast. I then heard that noise that I had been waiting for, screeching tires from the police cruiser! I darted down the stairs to find a note on the table.
Dear Bella,
I will not want you to eat breakfast today for I have counted everything and am hoping that the same amount is still there when I come home, WITH my dinner. Also leave a recipe out on the counter for the food that you WILL make me tonight so then I can count those out. Have a horrible day, and you better be in your room when I get back, or else. Don't you even try to argue with me or it will end with you screaming.
Love you,
Charlie. Don't call me Dad.
I read the note four times before giving up and saying "Damn it, I guess I will only be eating lunch today." I sighed and ran back up the stairs and swung open my door. I ran straight to the closet and found some loose fitting jeans and a turtleneck that would cover up the hand prints that were left from Charlie yesterday. This turtleneck was a midnight blue and I hoped that no one would notice me in between my classes, especially Mike Newton, and I will hurt him today. Passing the pain that I had recently just gone through might help me. I ran to the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth before I set off to the only other sanctuary that I had, school. I can't wait to get to talk to someone, maybe they will see that I am upset and let me spill my feelings. No, no one would ever see that. I had to put on a brave-fake face today and not let anyone know what was going on in the Swan residence. I looked at my neck, it was bruised to the most extreme, how am I going to hide this in gym? Well I looked around my room one last time making sure that I didn't miss anything and ran out the door, just happy to get out of the house. I ran until I found a bench and felt like crying out "I'M SAFE! NO MORE PAIN!" but that would have to wait for now. The warning bell rang and I darted to building three to Trig.
The class went slow and I really was enjoying this, a lot. I really missed the days when I was happy to get home, now it is the complete opposite. I miss the loving family that once was, that would never be again. Jessica started packing up her things and I realized I had been in my own world without hearing the bell go off so then I could go to history and try not to fall asleep. I let out a controlled sigh and ran to building six. Man. I am doing a LOT of running today; maybe Charlie is making me frightened. I don't want to run, but I can't help but feel safe here. Just as this last thought slipped my mind class began, and it was just like Trig. And instead of listening I daydreamed of a better life, one without pain, one where I could tell people how I really feel. After a few more classes and a few more daydreams, I headed off to lunch with Jessica. She giggled and I was out of my train of thought yet again. "What Jess?" I hissed.
She laughed more and tried to calm herself. She slid down the wall and then controlled her laughter and put a hand on my shoulder. "Edward is starring at you again, but this time he is actually sitting alone. He is right over there," she head nodded and continued, "and he really wants me to get away from you, I can tell he wants to talk." This shocked me to an extreme, and I was very very surprised to see her not scowling or glaring at me. What is wrong with her today?
"But, Jess-"she ran like a mad woman to some boy that was waving at her. Great, now I can't ask her. I slowly turned around to see that Jess was telling the truth, he was sitting alone, but he looked at me with a sense of hope. I walked over and each step my heartbeat began to overload. "Edward would never feel that way about you. Stop while you can." I sighed and then returned to my head, "It's too late now, I have completely let my guard down around him and I really do trust him, so there is no more to argue about. Now, stay silent so then I don't look like an idiot." The voice obeyed my rule and I sat down across from Edward and he was smiling at me.
"Why hello there Bella, what brings you over here to my lovely, empty table?" He looked like he was serious, but then a flash of his eyes on me told me that he was totally kidding.
I laughed, "Well I was wondering the same for you!" This time he laughed and I couldn't love it more than anything. I love you Edward. Wait, no, I have the biggest crush in history which makes it seem like love. I almost love you Edward. He laugh stopped right after the thought went through my head. "What? Did I say something wrong?" I was really concerned with the fact that his face was in complete shock, seriously, what was his problem.
He coughed, "No. There isn't anything wrong, you didn't say anything wrong. I'm sorry for making you think that, I really don't want you to think of me as the guy with a finger on the trigger ready to shoot when something doesn't go my way." He stopped when he saw me flinch…the memories of last night tried to flood my mind, but I couldn't let them go into my mind in front of Edward. "Bella, what's wrong? Is everything alright?" He looked at me and was searching for something that was in my eyes. I know that he could tell that something was wrong.
"I…I…I don't want you to run if I tell you, but I can't tell you now…it's too painful to remember." I shuttered as the last thought to escape my mind was, "You can't trust him, he is just going to be like Renée, and then steal the next girl's heart without saying a proper goodbye. Charlie wouldn't like this Bella and you know that."
He sighed, "Alright, I won't make you tell me if it makes up uncomfortable Bella, just tell me the time and the place, and I will meet you there, anywhere. Now, we have to get to Biology unless you want to skip today, I heard that they are doing blood testing. I have to be honest; I hate the sight of blood." He is more like me than he will ever know. He winked in my direction and I swear that he was just toying with me.
"Yeah, I hate the sight of blood too. Where are we going to go?" I was smiling as I said "we" and he must have noticed. Damn it Bella; don't just assume that he is going to hang out with the plain girl. You know that he can just leave you to walk home, but in the end, he will leave you.
"I think we should go somewhere, like let's say a surprise for you?" He smiled like he was obeying my heart. I just simply nodded and not another worrying thought crossed my mind. We walked silently to the school parking lot which was only about two steps outside the cafeteria. He opened the car door for me and my most famous blush came upon my cheeks and I stepped inside the warm vehicle. He shut my door so silently that I wouldn't have known that the door shut if he didn't walk in front of the car. I pulled my seatbelt on as fast as I could, and he was just putting his on when I sighed in stress. He chuckled and I swear that I could hear music in the background and saw him lean over to help me with the seatbelt buckle. All I want is the real him, and his hair might I add. I want to touch it without making him uncomfortable. Whatever, this relationship won't get that far, at least that's what I keep saying to calm myself. I giggled a little at my rambling and he gave me a questioning, but yet somehow knowing look. Now I am a little scared, and I just have to block that, I can't feel that anymore.
"Okay Bella, we are now here!" he sounded so excited to show me this something, and as I looked up my heart literally gave out, at least for a few beats. A dead-end road, did you expect yourself to get out alive Bella? In the end he will kill you and no more hiding back your fear! This time it is Charlie's order. I stiffened at the name of Charlie. I totally had forgotten about him. Well hopefully I would be back in time to give him food and all. Another last night might not be the best thing ever. "Bella, don't be scared, I won't hurt you, and I…I have to tell you something…that is…if you follow me into the forest." He looked completely scared of my answer. I unbuckled my seatbelt and maybe that would give him a clue about what I wanted to do, hang out with him.
"Are you coming, or am I supposed to be lost in the forest all day?" I lightened up the mood so then maybe he would not look so hurt. I saw his eyes brighten up and him quickly jump out of the car. He ran his god-like body and bronze hair over to me and took my hand, I felt suddenly safe with this simple touch of my hand.
"Do you trust me?" He asked in a very serious tone, but with an evil smile on his face. He said that he wouldn't hurt me earlier so I nodded my head like an idiot. "Well, will you hop onto my back so then we could get there quicker?" I smiled and he returned the gesture, then I realized that I would be touching him again! Oh wow. I'm going to be touching Edward yet again. This should be fun! I giggled out loud and then jumped onto his back. I immediately felt a jolt go through me although he didn't seem to feel it. I put my head against his back and wrapped my legs as tight around as they would go around him. My arms were around his chest, I could now feel that he worked out, and tried to touch my hands, but could not successfully do so. I heard his musical chuckle and his hands were on mine as we slowly started to move. I was quite ready to try and run away from these feelings that were popping out of nowhere, but there was nowhere to run, everywhere else there was horror and he somehow brought me comfort in this huge black cloud that I lived in.
I was starting to have debates with myself…as if anything could go wrong in Edward's presence and I sensed him trying to focus, so I just started talking to myself. "Edward is such a good guy, I mean, he actually wants to talk to me and not get in my pants. I want to tell him what has happened, but I still think that it is way too early. I don't want him to run from me as I said before to him. Just god, he is so amazing. What did I do to deserve to get Edward instead of foul Mike Newton! I mean, Mike isn't at all cute, but he was interested in me, and this surprised me." Wait a second; didn't Edward say something about him not talking to anyone besides his siblings yesterday in Biology class? "Am I the reason that Edward has stepped out of his comfort zone? I do hope so, but I don't want him to be uncomfortable, he is the best thing that has happened to me in a while. I don't want to ruin this at all." I heard a clearing of a throat and was broken out of my train of thought.
"Did you hear what I said Bella?" The angel below me asked with a mocking tone.
"Nope, sorry I was just thinking." I sighed and laid my head on his back and I smiled as the thought of touching Edward was the best thing that I have ever experienced.
"Well, sweet Bella," Wait, did he just say sweet? "I was wondering if you could get off my back so then we could enter this place together, hand in hand?" I was astonished, but I had to answer him with more than a nod this time, he must think I am a fool.
"Well, handsome Edward," What the hell? I just called him handsome, and I could already see the grin forming on his face as his cheeks rose high in the air. "I will, if you promise me something…never let go of my hand, at least until I tell you to?" Which might be a long time from now, I added in my head. He chuckled and mumbled a "yes miss" and I was blushing madly, if only he knew how much he really affected me.
After I jumped off of his back, his hand was in mine immediately. I was shocked that he didn't run off, but maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't want to have me lost. "Bella, just promise me that you won't run away from me like you should when I tell you about that thing that I wanted to talk about? Can you do that for me? Please?" What could possibly make him so sad? I really wanted to know, but right now let's focus on his question.
"I promise with all of my heart that I would never do that to you." I smiled at him with a loving smile, this has never happened before. Am I really in love with him? Seriously, I only met him yesterday, and I think I am in love with him. That must not be good. I looked back up to him seeing him just starring into my own chocolate colored eyes, there wasn't any emotion in his except for reassurance. I sighed and stepped over a twig to get to him. I wrapped my arms around him and whispered, "I promise, even if you tell me I can run, I won't do it. I will stay with you and you have to force me to leave your side, that my friend, will be a very hard thing to do." I laughed softly at the way I chose to end my sentence, and my little speech. He finally was becoming more comfortable around me which made me the happiest girl that could ever exist on this earth.
Edward then looked out into the distance and the smile that I loved was written on his beautiful face. "We are here. Welcome to my meadow, hope that you like it." I looked directly ahead of us to find a circular meadow with short grass and wild flowers everywhere and the trees made an archway for the entrance of the meadow; I had to smile and look at Edward. I looked over to the most wonderful guy to live and saw him in the sunlight that was shimmering its way down slowly, but surely. He looked down at me and smiled, my breath was caught in my throat and I couldn't wait for it to come back. I looked down and blushed, WOW! He is so breath-taking. I can't be affected like this. No. I just can't. Hell, I can't help myself. I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN AND HIS MEADOW! I don't want to leave the happiest place ever in my life, to the home that is more like hell. I looked up once I noticed that I had been starring at our hands, intertwined, and he was already sitting on the ground looking up from his eyelashes. "Will you sit in front of me, or must I break a promise for you to do so?" He asked with seriousness and sadness in his voice. I chuckled and sat down in front of him as he watched with, love no that can't be, but it was, he was watching me with love in his eyes.
"I have to tell you something. Keep your promise and don't run away." He sighed and stared down at our hands before he opened his mouth to start.