edwardluver925: We are so totally sorry that we haven't updated, but we have extra time now that its Thanksgiving break and we'll give you as many updates as possible! We also promise that we won't make you wait that long again! Ever! Sorry again and we still love you and haven't forgotten about you! Cyber-Edward's-Pants to all!
P.S - My Cyber-Edward's-Pants are so much better than Kai's Cyberhug, you should like me more!!!
WasperJithlock: You guys rock my world when you review. I am so happy to see that so many people are enjoying our story. When you review you will get a Cyberhug from me!!!!!!!
No Flames please. Flames will be used to burn Jacob Black. You don't want that now do you?! Hahaha!! We are so evil. Fake flames are appreciated though. Those will also be used to burn Jacob, enjoy.
Disclaimer: We don't own twilight! We know, we cried too when we found out.
We also don't own the song "Shoes" or Star Wars.
BPOV
"Newton, I don't think she likes you! Well, anyway, the family is gone! So bring all of the stuff and be here in twenty minutes!" Emmett shouted.
"No way!" Jasper exclaimed. "He is seriously talking about Mike Newton!"
We all stayed quite for a moment until Carlisle broke out in a fit of laughter. We all joined him except for Edward. He stared at the screen with a murderous expression. He pulled out his list again.
"You're just now adding Newton to your list?" Alice asked in bewilderment.
"No, I'm merely bumping him up to third on the list. There is no way he is coming into our house!" Edward was practically screaming at this point while his eyes just grew darker and darker.
"Edward honey, it's okay." Esme was trying to sooth him. "Even though you may not like him, and well I'm just as surprised as you, but if Mike is Emmett's friend then he is welcomed anytime."
"But… b-b-but" Edward stuttered. "BUT HE LIKES BELLA!" He finally screamed.
"We all like Bella, Edward." Esme said in a calm, motherly voice.
"But Esme!" He whined. "He's a bad boy thinking bad things!" I tried to hold back my laughter but failed miserably. He sounded like a five year old.
"Edward! You are getting too angry! Let me calm you down." Jasper yelled over all of the voices in the room.
"No!" Edward said defiantly.
"Edward!" Jasper warned in an ever harsher voice.
"You're not the boss of me Jasper! I'll be angry when I want to be angry!" Edward yelled.
"He's right honey," Esme interjected. "You can't make your brother do something he doesn't want to do." Jasper just looked at her shocked and then turned around and started speaking in Spanish. It sounded like he was muttering a string of profanities.
Edward growled.
"BOYS!" Carlisle finally interjected. "Control yourselves!! You act like children." He added quietly.
Ding Dong!
"Oh, great. Mike Newton." Edward said his name with such venom that it made me laugh.
"Well," Mike began, "I brought the stuff."
"What could it be?" Jasper wondered.
"Drugs." Alice immediately answered.
"You think everyone's doing drugs!!" Edward complained.
"No! I do not think everyone's on drugs!" She responded, annoyed.
"Yes, you do. Like when I left Bella and was depressed, you said I was on drugs. You said Bella was on speed yesterday. You said that Carlisle was on drugs when he took away your credit cards. You said that—"
"Enough!" Esme was getting tired of people arguing, and I could tell she was at her breaking point. "Alice, you do say everyone is on drugs all of the time, and Edward, stop making fun of her for it. You're both acting like Emmett here!!"
"Quiet! I'm trying to watch the damn game!" Carlisle yelled. We didn't know what was wrong with him, I mean, there wasn't a game on. Just Emmett and Mike talking about how much of a, uh, bad word Edward is while Mike was holding a paper bag, strangely large. It was strange to hear Carlisle curse, but also quite funny.
"I mean," Mike was saying, "He doesn't deserve her! Look at him, and then look at me! I am sooo much sexier than he will ever be!"
"Dude you are so right! He is such a prude too!" Edward was already taking out his list. I looked over his shoulder to see that Emmett was changed from number two to number one and Mike was changed from number three to number two. Jake was now number three.
"Come on dude, I can't wait any longer! Take out the stuff!!" Emmett sounded really excited.
"Here come the drugs!" Alice predicted.
But Alice was wrong; drugs were not in the bag. Oh no, it was much, much worse than that. The bag was filled with Star Wars gear, everything from light sabers to Yoda's ears.
"Le gasp!" Rosalie finally spoke. I heard a snort.
"Le gasp? You're not even French! You're Swedish!" Jasper laughed.
"Hey, I do what I want!" Rosalie was such drama queen.
"Well, what do you want?" Carlisle asked.
"Shoes." (This is the clean version)
Theme music starts
Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Oh my god! Shoes.
Let's get some shoes. Let's get some shoes.
Let's get some shoes. Let's get some shoes.
Shoes. Shoes. Oh my god, shoes.
Shoes. These shoes rule, these shoes suck.
These shoes rule! These shoes suck
Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Oh my god, shoes.
These shoes rule, these shoes suck.
These shoes suck, these shoes suck
I think you have too many shoes. Shut up!
I think you have too many shoes. Shut up!
I think you have too many shoes. Shut up!
I think you have too many shoes. Shut up!
Stupid boy. Stupid boy.
Was Rosalie really doing this? She was usually mean and scary, but now she was just plain scary. I mean, she had a good voice and all, but shoes? I looked at Edward for support but he looked just as taken aback as I did.
Let's get some shoes. Let's party.
These shoes are three hundred dollars.
These shoes are three hundred dollars.
These shoes are three hundred freaking dollars.
Let's get em'!
Um, this style runs small. I don't think you're gonna fit!
I mean, your feet are, kinda big.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, by the way loser, screw you!
Screw you! Screw you! Screw you
Shoes. Those shoes are mine loser.
Give me those freaking shoes loser.
Those shoes are mine loser. Loser.
Loser. Loser. Loser.
"Wwooww." We all said at the same time.
Suddenly on the screen we heard Mike yelling in what sounded like an alien language.
"He is such a Star Wars wannabe," Jasper said, "That's not even close to the language that they really use in book sixteen!" We all stared at him, shocked.
"Uh, Jasper? How do you know that?" Alice asked. Jasper looked guilty.
"I may have stolen a few of Emmett's magazines while you were away…"
"NOOOO!!" Alice shouted. "I'm married to a Star Wars fan!! This is so totally the end of the world!!!"
Emmett once again distracted us by an unusually girly scream.
"What is going on out there?" Carlisle wondered in awe.
"I have no idea." Edward answered, just as entranced by the screen as Carlisle was.
"It looks like they are replicating the battle scene from book twelve, chapter eight." Jasper said proudly. Alice suddenly ran to the corner of the room, sobbing hysterically.
On the screen Emmett was hitting Mike on the arm lightly with his light saber, while Mike was hitting Emmett as hard as he could, which obviously had absolutely no affect.
"Why won't your arm come off like in the book?" Emmett wondered as he stared to hit harder. Suddenly a sickening crack filled the air. Mike let out a string of profanities.
"You broke my freaking arm in half!" Mike yelled.
"Um, you'd better go to the hospital." Emmett stated sadly.
"Yeah, duh." Mike mumbled as he made his way out the front door, cradling his broken arm. "Tell Bella when you see her that I will rescue her from Edward one day!"
"Sure, sure." Emmett was saying as he rushed Mike out of the house.
"Bye!" Mike said, one second too late. The door was already shut in his face. Emmett rushed to the TV and turned it on. He watched Power Rangers for about thirty minutes until a commercial came on. A commercial that I wish to never see again.