speacial thanks to suzie who helped me out with this chapter muchly appreciated

Tommy I ..."

Were the only words Taylor allowed to leave her lips. Part of her was shocked at how suddenly this was all coming up and so soon. She was expecting it to be months, possibly even years, before she thought Tommy would be ready to hear her reason for leaving. The other part of her was afraid and hesitant. She was hoping she would have more time to face her demons and deal with her past memories. The same memories that were haunting her every day for the last seven years. The same memories that she was trying to escape from for the last seven years. Taylor was afraid during the time of actual events herself. Now she was just afraid of the memories that lingered in her mind, especially now that she has to relive them once she tells her brother what had happened.

Tommy stood firmly in is position waiting patiently for Taylor to speak, hoping that she was going to explain things to him after so many year. His eyes focused on her the whole time. Finally he could see that she was ready to talk.

Taylor pulled herself together looking straight at Tommy. She walked towards him grabbing his hand and led him to the couch in the living room where they both took a seat.

Taylor took a deep breath before beginning. She was nervous and she could tell it was showing. She was trying to slow her breathing down, she could feel her heart pounding like a bass drum and she wanted to release her hand from Tommy's but his grip was firm and she was thankful for that. Taylor knew she had to do this, it was now or never and if there was one person she owed an explanation to, it was her brother and he deserved it.

"First off...I want you to know that everything that happened while you were gone was not your fault," Taylor started off, because she knew Tommy would blame himself because he was her big brother and it's the one thing she would never want him to do.

As Taylor's words replayed in Tommy's mind like a broken record, a wave of worry came over him as he began to fear the worse. Tommy silently nodded as a sign for Taylor to continue.

"After you left, things with dad started to get worse. He was no longer just drinking at night, but from the moment he got up in the morning until he passed out in the evening. He would go to work drunk and come back pixelated. I would even get rid of all the alcohol in the house before he would come home, but he somehow always managed to get more." Taylor stopped to calm herself down a little so she could hold back the tears that she wanted to desperately release. Her mind began to flood with more memories of the past that she was dreading to relive as she told her story, but she for the most part was glad that she was going to relive it for the first time after seven years with her brother, and not some stranger. Tommy noticed that this was all taking a toll on Taylor so he took her hand and lightly squeezed it urging her to go on.



"About two months before I left things got even worse. Dad was fired for getting into a fight at work, so he was pretty much spending everyday at home drinking. He lost it one night and threw out everything that belonged to you and mum. He kept saying that he needed to erase you two from his mind and he wanted nothing to do with either one of you. I tried to save as much stuff as I could because I wanted even a little something to remember you both by. Then, a few nights later he must've realized that I had taken some of the things he had thrown because he barged into my room like a mad man shouting at me and calling me every name under the sun." Before Taylor could continue she had to stop herself to wipe away the loose tears that finally found their way down her cheeks. "He hit me Tom. He hit me so hard that I had a black eye." Just remembering that night was too much. Taylor could no longer fight back her tears. In his mind, he could only picture what his sister had gone through, what his so called father had done to her as he was listening to Taylor telling him what happed all those years ago while he was gone. Tommy suddenly felt a rush of guilt as it pained him to think of what had happened to her. He attempted to pull her in to his arms to comfort her, but she pushed him back shaking her head saying she needed to finish.

"The next day he apologized and promised me it would never happen again. He broke his promise Tommy. Things only got worse. He would get mad at the smallest things and take it out on me. I tried calling you, but the number I had was disconnected."

For the first time since Taylor had started speaking, Tommy finally spoke. "I'm sorry. That was my fault. The fans kept getting hold a of my number, so we changed it almost every week that I never got a chance to give you the new ones as it changed," he sadly explained.

"It's ok, you probably would have been too busy anyhow. The night I left, I had ended up in the hospital with a broken arm and fractured ribs after he threw me into a wall for burning tea. When they discharged me I knew I couldn't go back there. I was afraid the next time he might kill me."

Tommy noticed the genuine fear that was in Taylor's eyes as she spoke about their father. He couldn't help but wonder that if he had been there then she wouldn't have had to suffer through all of this. She wouldn't have been abused physically, mentally and emotionally. Even though Taylor told him not to blame himself, he knew that he could have protected her and prevented things from turning out the way they did. Tommy was then quickly brought out of his thoughts as Taylor continued on with her story.

"I didn't know who else to call, then I remembered the number that Darius gave me when you first joined Boyz Attack. He told me that if I ever needed help with anything I could call him, so I did. When I told him everything that had taken place, he said that he had friends in police force who could help me out, but I begged him not to get them involved. There was no way I could send him to jail. I know he hurt me, but he was still my father. So instead I asked Darius to help me get away and he kindly agreed to help." Taylor noticed as Tommy's brow furrowed and that he was intrigued to know why Darius didn't tell him what had been going on. Taylor knew what was floating around in Tommy's head at that very moment as she mentioned Darius' part 

in all this. "I also asked him not to tell you anything and he reluctantly agreed after I convinced him it was the best thing for you."

The pair sat in silence as Tommy fully digested everything that Taylor had told him. He expected himself to be mad at Taylor, but he wasn't. He was mad at himself, for not being there when she needed him the most and at the worst time ever. There was still one thing he had to know and didn't hold back from asking.

"Taylor, where have you been for the last seven years?"

Taylor sighed before answering. "In New York. Darius has an apartment there that he let me stay in. He would come and visit every couple of weeks to make sure I was doing okay. He sent me to a school nearby and after two years I grew sick of it. My heart was in music, so I dropped out and he helped me get an internship at Epic Records as an engineer. After two years of working under someone else, I finally became a producer. Then, six months ago Darius offered me the position at G-Major. At first I said no, but after the one stable thing in my life there let me down I decided to take it. I thought facing things with you would be a hell of a lot easier then staying there. How wrong I was.

Once Taylor finished answering Tommy's question, the pair sat in silence. Taylor taking in all of Tommy's reactions and emotions as she spoke and Tommy absorbing everything that Taylor had gone through, trying to feel what she felt, and imagining himself in her place. He wouldn't want it for himself, so he sure as hell didn't want it for her either, but it was too late. It was the past and was now only a memory that she would keep locked up and throw away the key, hoping to never release it again.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence Tommy finally said something. "I'm so sorry, " he said with remorse.

"Don't be, it's not your fault. There was nothing you could have done. It's all in the past now. You know what happened, so just let it go." Taylor didn't want him to feel responsible for what happened because he was not the one who hurt her.

"Even so, I still should have been there for you. Maybe if I was with you then nothing would have happened, you wouldn't have run away." Tommy wanted nothing more than to take the burden that his sister carried over the years. He knew he couldn't change the past, but he wanted take away her pain in some way.

"Please don't beat yourself up about this. Even if you had been there for me, there's no guarantee that I would have stayed," Taylor reasoned.

Tommy really wanted to stay and talk to Taylor more, but he felt a pang in his heart and was suddenly feeling claustrophobic. He needed to get out of there he need to think he needed Jude.



"Well I should get going. Jude's probably wondering what happened to me," Tommy said while standing up and began making his way to the door.

"Yeah, you don't want her to worry," Taylor calmly responded as she followed Tommy to the door.

As Tommy opened the door he stopped then paused, and did something that surprised both himself and Taylor. He pulled her in to a tight embrace, one that he had wanted to give her since he first saw her in seven years even though he was mad at her.

"I love you...and if you need anything, anything at all, I'm here for you and so is Jude," Tommy calmly spoke as they pulled apart.

"I know...and I love you too, and I promise you that I'm not going anywhere this time, I'm here to say," is all Taylor said with reassurance.

A small smile spread across Tommy's face as the new words "I'm here to stay" replayed in his mind like a brand new CD in repeat mode that replaced the broken record that was playing earlier. He knew it was his chance to make up to her for all that happened. It was their chance to rebuild their relationship.

"Ok, well I better go, but I'll call you. We'll have dinner or something and you can tell me all about New York," Tommy stated as he made his way out the door. Taylor smiled at the thought of rekindling her relationship with her brother. She nodded in agreement as she watched him walk to the elevator and waved good-bye.

Taylor shut the door and deeply sighed a breath of relief. She was finally happy after seven years and things with her brother were definitely looking up. She only hoped that things with a certain someone had only turned out better.