Disclaimer: I walk that thin line, between owning and not owning. What I own, is even confusing myself. I don't own Harry Potter and his friends. And yet, they feel so familiar. I do own Betelgeuse, but she doesn't feel any different than the other characters. I'm confused. Then again, I'm a teenagers, I'm supposed to feel confused. Not about this, though. This is bordering onto insanity, isn't it? But, technically I understand where my ownerships end. It's just my feeling that's all confused. And I never listen to my feeling, anyway.
Once upon a time, when her emotional reactions to Sirius' betrayal had eased away and she'd started on the rest of her life, Betty had decided to take a course over the holidays. After a long time debating all kind of courses, she'd decided by closing her eyes and put her pen down on the sheet of paper that listed all of them. The one she'd marked, was the only one she hadn't considered. So, a few days later, she found herself learning Dutch. After a few weeks, the teacher forced them to listen to Dutch songs, saying that it would teach them the language faster than anything else (but Betty had suspected that the woman was just being lazy). This exercise taught her one thing: a.) Dutch didn't have any musical talent, or b.) their teacher had a bad tasted in music. Well b.) was a sure thing, but that didn't explicitly say that a.) couldn't be true as well.
Anyway, she had hated all the songs, but one sentence somehow got to her. It was in a song she didn't particular like, but didn't hate either and it was repeated over and over again. "Met mijn hoofd onder water ziet niemand mijn tranen." The man had spoken the first three words, started only singing after that. The melody was wistful. It didn't mean much to her at fist, she'd barely understood what the song was about, but when she translated it she felt something.
"With my head underwater, no one can see my tears."
Ever since she'd known the words, she'd known that it was what the Blacks did. Holding their heads underwater. It was not very poetic or philosophic or any –ic that would make it different form other sentences. But it was raw and it was about the Blacks and she knew that.
Of course there was that other reason. She never thought of that one, she was always on the edge of doing it, but she needed to avoid those memories at all cost. Usually she was perfectly capable of doing just that. Mind-control, whether it was control of her own mind or control of someone else's, was her specialty. Then again, usually no dementors were involved. She had never learned to do a patronus, because when it was taught at Auror school she hadn't had a happy memory, and after she'd never found the time to learn it. So now she relived memories she could do without.
Running, running frantically over the grounds. Sirius, she had to find him. Had to get him before it was too late. Had to find him, before things got out of hand. Where was he? Where was her brother? If she didn't find him, there would be hell to pay. And it wasn't Sirius who'd get into trouble, not the heir, never the heir. She didn't feel like getting punished. Where was he? Where was her brother???
She turned, where was that boy???! Maybe…. The thought came suddenly. And yes, there he was. On the roof. He'd been talking about it for ages. She was surprised that she didn't realize immediately. Running again, back to the house. If only she could yell at him to get down, but that'd be a one-way ticket to the cellar. She shuddered at the thought.
She opened the front door and felt a hand close around her wrist. Her eyes became wide. "Mother…." She never got the change to end that sentence.
"Where is he?? You were to find him! Where is he??!! You disobedient little witch!" Her mother struck her."Well, answer me, where is you brother?"
Betty was shaking. "He's on the roof, mother. I was going to fetch him, I swear!" "On the roof? On the roof? And what does your brother do on the roof? Why would he be on the roof now, uh? You know what I think? I think your brother isn't on the roof. I think you just tried to sneak off and got caught. And I think you just made up this filthy lie about your brother to cover up for your own little misdeeds. That's what I think!" Her mother always lost her eloquence when she was angry.
Betty looked up to her. Mother was towering over her. She was twice her size. The only thing Betty could think of was how Mother could bend over her and grab her by her ankles. How she could easily lift Betty into the air, dangling from her ankles and how she would let her slip. The floor was so hard. It was not meant to be met head-first. Her heart was hold by an iron fist. The fist was squeezing and she couldn't breath. She was suffocating. A tear appeared in her eye.
"Crying now, are we? Blacks don't cry. Blacks cover their tears up. But you're still a child, aren't you? You don't know how to do that yet. Let me help you, Betelgeuse. I'll help you cover up those tears." Betty felt a strong hand around her upper arm and anticipation in her heart. She knew this couldn't be anything good. And yet, Father was home, wasn't he? Mother wouldn't want him to hear Betty's screams. So she wouldn't make Betty scream, would she? Maybe, mother was really going to teach her. She was dragged upstairs.
Sirius moaned. Betty realized that they had to do something. Throw in a patronus to save their necks. But Sirius hadn't many happy thoughts either. How were they supposed to protect themselves? She felt herself slip away from sanity again, back to the realms of negative emotions. One moment she managed to stay conscious of her surroundings, until the desperation of the situation seeped it's way into her whole being. She had to cling on her body with her mind, but her hands became slippery from the sweat and her soul was losing it's grip on reality.
Maybe they would get Sirius first. It was all about him, after all. That would be good. Sirius would step in and save her. Mother would do what Sirius said. He was her heir, after all, and he was no child anymore. Sirius went to Hogwarts. Sirius was older than eleven. If he lived back in the good old days, the ones in which a Black was higher than a king, he would have been married. He would have children if he was married to one of the lower girls, or he would have taken his witch to Hogwarts, if he was married to a high-class one. Knowing the family-name back then, the last was more probable.
That time was past, but not for their family. They arranged everything the way they did back then, and they wished that, that time was still here. You could see it in her mothers eyes. A longing to the time in which she should have been born.
If Sirius said no, her mother wouldn't do it.
But they weren't going to the attic. Mother pulled her towards the bathroom. She didn't understand. That wasn't good. When mother did things she didn't understand, she would get hurt. "No, no, I'm good, I'll be good. Won't cry. No, no, no." Mother didn't listen. She never did. It didn't matter, either. The words weren't meant for her. The words were for Betty. They had to tell Betty that she wasn't going to be punished. To clear her mind. So that the pain was the thing that would hurt and not the anticipation.
"Undress." Mother smirked. Betty complied. "No, no, no. I'm not going not be punished. I will be good. I was good. Won't be punished." Maybe, maybe, it was better that Mother didn't listen.
"In the tub." Betty didn't understand. She did it anyway. "Aguamenti." Mother filled the tub with water. It was warm, for a change. It felt quite nice, actually. Betty turned towards her mother and smiled. She wanted to thank her for making it so much easier. Easier to pretend that there wasn't going to be pain. She didn't say a word, though.
"On your knees." Betty wondered if it was a test. 'Blacks don't kneel,' was one of the other rules. Her mother pointed her wand, muttered a word and suddenly her knees buckled. She fell on the bottom of tub.
"You can hide your tears, Betelgeuse, by making the impression that they aren't tears but something else. Bow your head."
Suddenly her head was pressed underwater. Her mothers hand holding it down. She couldn't breath so she struggled, but it didn't help one bit. Somewhere in her head a strange thought appeared: 'I was right, she wouldn't make me scream when father's home.' It comforted her.
But she never cried in front of her mother again.
She came back to consciousness with her head above the water. Her mothers hand still hold onto her hair, but her mother looked into the mirror. So, she managed to breath a little, before her head went underwater again.
Then, water was everywhere. And it was frightening, to flirt wit dead like this. She held still, hoping it would save her air. She tried to calm herself down, but kept hoping for someone to come. And with the hope, the fear renewed itself.
"Betty!" She snapped out of the memory and saw Severus running towards her. Someone came, at last.
So, this one is all flash-back-y. All, angsty as well. And it's made Betty kinda an "Angsty" Sue. But that's all for reasons. You will find out. It's got to do with the relationship between the Black Siblings. It's got to do with their characters. It's got to do with the story. So…… If you hate the abuse, keep that in mind.