Disclaimer: No I do not own Gunslinger Girl. Raphael and his other aliases yes but the rest of them no.

"Maybe you shouldn't be coming with us, Raphael." Triela said as we got our combat gear ready.

"I am fine, what makes you say that?" I replied.

"You didn't look too good, after you saw the picture."

She was not lying. Our candle light date was cut short because I was acting like the world was going end after I saw the picture of Benoit. I probably freaked her out when I just stared placidly into the sky the rest of the night.

"I mean it's ok to be scared of something, everybody is scared of something right?" she added

"I was not scared, I was angry."

And that is the whole truth. I am angry because he's here. I am angry because if he stays here everything that I have made possible will crumble before me. I can't let that happen, everything ends now Benoit!

Chapter 16 Spaventoso

Fearful

"Steel says that he takes orders from this outpost… it looks like an abandoned factory." Jean explained as he pointed at a picture of the structure.

"We would expect heavy resistance and from their M.O. we'd have to be aware of explosives." Hillshire added.

"Greeeaaat I think I should be telling you guys that… I have issues in bomb diffusal." I confessed.

"That's ok Raphael, Joze and Hillshire are good at that. They can do it if the situation requires it."

"Ok let's go."

With that we stormed the factory. As soon as we entered we were welcomed instantly by heavy gunfire. The bullets pinned us down, as we had no idea how to get free. It was behind one of those crates that I recognized something on the wall.

"Bomb!" I yelled as I could recognize several blocks of c4 wired up and attached to the wall.

Hillshire approached it and gave it a good look. He turned around and told us:

"It's no wired to blow, it is attached with several other devices around the building… the entire building is wired to explode!"

I realized that we did not have much time left then, so I grabbed the nearest grenade like object in my belt and threw it. It turned to be a smoke grenade it cloaked my position as soon as I left the crates. I grabbed an HE grenade and threw it a bunch of gunmen, in the same time I was able to evade a volley of bullets and return fire. Everybody else helped out and soon the 1st line of defense was gone. I got a couple of bullets on the chest for my troubles but fortunately I had Kevlar on.

"Be careful Raphael, such stupidity could get you killed."

"For your information Jean such cowardice could waste enough time for the bombs to go off. If you ask me I'd rather die by the gun than die in a fiery explosion."

"Let's go we're wasting time." I added.

Wherever we went we saw a 5-6 bombs attached to the walls all connected by wiring. I started thinking whether this is just a huge trap or something else but when there are a dozen terrorists firing at you it's hard to contemplate over anything.

"Henrietta move!" I yelled as a grenade flew by her head.

Please be on time. Please be on time. Please be on time. I thought to myself as I grabbed the unexploded grenade and threw it back. It blew up in midair causing damage on both sides of the fight.

"Raphael you—you saved me again." Henrietta said.

"No time for that, Henrietta. Focus on the task at hand."

I listened to my self, realizing what I have become. A robot, I have lost my emotions in this fight. I am all over everyone even on little Henrietta. Well the ends justify the means right. Everything will be back to normal again as soon as I kill Mr. Benoit.

"Jean I am hit!" screamed Rico.

Jean and I rushed to her side as I saw the bullet enter her collarbone and leave through the other side. Sh%t that's something serious even for a cyborg like Rico. Jean wanted Rico to continue fighting but I asked Jean to take Rico back.

"It's like what you said Raphael focus on the task at hand!" Jean said sarcastically.

I could not take it anymore I pulled my gun out and pointed it at Jean.

"Either you take her back, or you go back due to severe bullet wounds and take her along!" I threatened.

Hillshire saw this and tried to hold me down. A couple of section 1 agents saw what was happening as well and pointed their guns at me. However, through all the shouting and the threats only one voice brought me back to my senses.

"Raphael, don't do this!" Triela shouted.

I came to a realization and put my gun down. I was definitely loosing it but I can't stop now, not now that everything is so close. Not know when everything is hanging at a thread.

"Fine I'll save Rico, just keep yourself together Raphael." Jean said as he ran off with Rico in his arms.

The shooting stopped, and as they checked on the bodies I sat down and placed my face in my hands. 'What's happening to me? I can't keep my composure.' Suddenly I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and when I looked, Triela was right beside me trying to comfort me.

"Raph, try to relax, it's not as bad as it looks, it's never as bad as it looks." She said.

I wrapped my own arms around her as I saw a gash on her arm.

"Triela, you're hurt."

"It's just a scratch, I'll be ok."

But I couldn't take that for and answer. I was obliged to take a piece of cloth from my pocket and bandage her wound.

"I couldn't bear seeing you hurt anymore, Triela, please forgive me."

When we were cleared to move forward we barge into the next room on the 2nd floor. It was an office, but unfortunately no one was there. On the table thou was the last thing I wanted to see. A box that said trigger device and a count down with 15 minutes left.

"Triela, get Hillshire and Joze I found the trigger device of the entire building!"

Triela ran off as I examined the device, it was definitely real and time was definitely running out. I checked the desk for anything I can use but all I saw was some books and a piece of paper folded up with 'To: Lance' written on top… he knows I am here. I had no time for that, I crammed the paper in my pocket and saw Triela entered the room again.

"Here's the diffusal kit Hillshire and Joze are coming."

Suddenly we heard and explosion down stairs and when we looked outside we saw that the stairs left.

"Raphael, Hillshire tripped on a booby trap, there is no other way up, I am afraid you have to do this yourself!" shouted Joze.

"Sh#t, I…I don't know how!" I shouted back as Triela and I went back to the room I looked at the trigger and just stared at it. 10 minutes what should I do? I lifted the cover up and saw it all. Wires, wires and more wires!

"You have any idea how to fix this Raphael?" Triela asked.

"I have a clue but that's it, I was never good at this." I said.

"Well I believe you can do it, do you believe in your self?" she asked.

Well if she thinks I can do it then I better just try right? So I looked at the wires and just looked and looked and looked. The whole arrangement was just twisted. I don't know which wire to cut. Black? Blue? Or red? Aah it's making my head hurt!

"Raph how is it?" she asked again.

"We have one minute before the explosion and I only singled out the blue wire. I can't do this!"

"Try Raphael, I believe you."

"Thirty seconds, I think it's the black one!"

"Then cut it."

"15…14…13…12… my hand won't move!"

She placed her hand over mine and helps me hold the pliers.

"7…6…5…4... 3…"

The timer stopped! We did it! Triela saw what happened and realized that we saved the day.

"Raphael you did it!"

"No, we did, I could have not done it without you."

We had a held each other and shared a kiss before going back to our senses.

"So is bomb diffusal still a phobia for you?"

"Yup."

"You're hopeless you know that." Triela teased, before going back outside to let the handler know. As soon as she turned around I looked at the product of my effort. There it is my, first defused bomb. I was pretty happy for my self until I remembered the letter in my pocket. I took it out and opened it. Every word sent chills down my spine. For such a simple letter it did its job, short and provocative just the way Judas Benoit likes it. In the upper right hand corner of the paper was the insignia of Dorado Espada and together was a short note. 'Dear Lance, I am telling! Stop me if you can! You're old friend Judas Benoit.' I AM GOING TO KILL YOU JUDAS EVEN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

The handlers were pretty happy over the results in the office. Now we wait for the prisoners to give Mr. Benoit's real position. They continued claiming that they were just newly employed and that they did not know anything though. The handlers were ready to give up when suddenly Raphael stormed into the room.

"WHERE IS JUDAS BENOIT?!" he shouted.

He pulls his Desert Eagle out and points it at the nearest man.

"Do you know where Benoit is?" he said.

"S-sorry I have no idea, I am just new here."

"Then you have no use to me." He said darkly

With that he blew the guys head off. We were all taken aback by Raphael's sudden brutality when he continued to the next guy and asked him.

"How about you, do you know where Judas Benoit is?"

"I-I don't I am also new. I swear I don't know!"

Raphael ignored the man's please as he put a bullet into his kneecap. The man screamed in pain as Raphael grabbed him by the neck and shouted:

"How about know? Do you know where he is now? I have just placed you on a crutch for the rest of you're life, don't make me put you on a wheel chair!"

"…All I know is; we call him Mr. Benoit that's it!"

Raphael put a bullet into his skull for his all his troubles and started shouting:

"There are only 3 ways out of this room! 1. You are an agent like us. None of you apply for that so you have option 2. You answer my question and you walk out of here alive. 3. You get out of here in a body bag!"

He pulled out his combat knife from his holster and approached the next guy.

"How about you, are you going to make my day?"

"I can't say what I don't know sir." The man said.

"Ok, that's not the answer I wanted so this is what I'll do, if you don't answer I am going to start peeling you're face with this knife. In the end you're going to be a bloody screaming mess. The whole procedure is fatal, but you will die only after an estimated 5 hours of agony. So I am going to give you a chance, do you know where he is?"

The man spat on Raphael's face. Raphael just smiled and said, "Wrong answer."

He pulled on the man's hair as he applied 2 parallel cuts to his cheek one-inch apart. The man already started screaming his lungs out as this was happening but Raphael just made another pair of parallel cuts perpendicular to the original two forming a bloody rectangle. He then yanked the skin of the man's face and threw it on the floor. We were cringing the whole time.

"Do you still feel like messing with me?" he asked after the whole process.

"F&ck you!" shouted the man in between breaths.

Raphael sighed as he repeated the process again. Another slice of skin was on the floor. Henrietta hid her face on Joze arm, I couldn't believe what I was seeing as well. The screams of the man just echoed through the room as some of the other men were crying silently,

"How about now!" Raphael shouted.

The man just looked at Raphael without saying a word. Raphael grabbed his hair again but before he could start once more, the man started screaming.

"OK! Ok! I'll talk! Stop! Please stop! I'll talk. Death could not scare me but this… this is just cruel! I'll talk just let me live!"

Raphael wiped his knife on the man's shirt and said, "Well it's about time, go on."

"He has settled in his head quarters, it's in the west side of Rome. On the 56th street… it's an office building. He said that he's going to reside there from now on so I am sure he's there. Is that all?"

For someone who is supposed to be new he sure knows a lot. Raphael stooped to his level and continued asking.

"Did they know about this?" he said as he pointed at the two dead people.

"We all know, but we were all given orders to just claim that we were newly employed to avoid interrogation. Now please make the pain stop."

Raphael stood up and tightened his grip on the knife. He stabbed the man in the chest 5 times as he heard the man gasp after every stab. Blood poured from the man's mouth as he mouthed the word 'why?' blood splashed on Raphael's chin, but all he did was to break a smile. He stuck the knife into his chest one more time and placed both hands on the sheath. He forced the knife upward driving it up for 3 inches. He closed the man's eyes and walked to the middle of the circle.

"None of you would have talked so I guess all of you will be leaving this room in body bags!"

At that point he drew both his pistols out and slowly lifted them to the level of the men's heads. They started screaming for mercy but it seemed that Raphael was deaf to their please. Actually he seemed deaf to the world, I never saw him like this, how his eyes disappeared in the shadow of his bangs how he twisted his lips to smile in a way that a chill creped up my spine, he might as well not been Raphael at all. However, before anything could happen though Joze shouted:

"Raphael that's enough!"

Raphael did not move for a few second but then put the guns back down. He put them back in his holsters and looked at us. If I were in Raphael's shoes I'd probably see all of us looking in disbelief at the boy who had brought forth so much gore upon his wake and a crying Henrietta. He looked at each one of us and steadied his eyes on me. Then he said:

"I am sorry." And ran out of the building.

We bagged the three casualties of Raphael's inhumane interrogation and calmed down the others. When everything was at order I left the building to find Raphael leaning on the van.

"Raph—"

"If you want to leave me I won't blame you." He said.

I got closer and I saw him arms crossed eyes glassy with probably tears. He wasn't crying but his eyes were visibly wet. He looked at me and waited for me to say something.

"I won't. Lovers forgive, I can forgive you." I said.

"Even when I acted like… a monster back then?"

"Well an explanation would help."

"Sigh Judas Benoit, he knows things, things that will separate me from you forever."

"What kind of things."

"Stuff about my past. Triela we are going to find Judas tonight but what ever happens I just want to let you know that you are best thing that's ever happened to me and I love you so, so…so much."

He looked like he wanted to say a lot but it seems that he has run out of words. I walked into his arms and we held each other in the dark as he continued mumbling:

"I just love you so much Triela. Triela I love you so much… and that's the truth."