I have two things, and only two things to say. One, I do not own pixie stix or Harry Potter. Two, thank you EVAN AAML for helping me get this story up and running. If it wasn't for you, I'd have absolutely no idea how to work the hilarious image of singing Drew into a story. Thank you. Oh, and a third thing. I apologize for the rude humor, but you have no idea how pure this sounds compared to what I hear and say at my lunch table. I sit with the perverts who don't rape people and are considered freaks so…sorry. And I put up a warning on the summary!
Here lies Ash Ketchum. No, no. He's not dead. He just appears to be. In his typical outfit on a typical evening, Ash Ketchum's sugar high has finally worn off, leaving him bored, and giving his friends and rivals absolutely nothing to laugh at. This, as you may have guessed, is never good for our heroes. Misty is exhausted from trying to get Ash away from the Pixie Stix, terrified he's go into cardiac arrest from a sugar overload. May is exhausted from her job of keeping her brother from following Ash's lead and jumping out of a second story window. Max is in a daze because May wasn't particularly good at her job and he jumped off anyway. Brock and Tracey are exhausted from…things…(sorry, it's my second favorite coupling) Drew is, well, hey, he never moves unless something bad is happening to him, May, or his Pokemon. Gary is exhausted from laughing so hard, and Natty is writing song lyrics down on her arm with a washable red marker so she won't forget them.
(A/N: This paragraph is my way of getting them there, please ignore it if you don't like randomness) "You know what, we should do something," Natty declared. "What should we do?" Out of nowhere, the Harry Potter theme song begins to play (nobody looks around because, hey, they're used to theme songs coming from nowhere) and a white owl swoops in from a window, only to fly back out again. "Thanks Hedge-Cutters! Let's read what this says!" Natty pauses for a moment to read the letter. "Oh! According to this Review, uh, I mean, letter, we're going to a karaoke dance club thing! Which if they didn't exist before do now!"
"Do we have to go? I want to watch Ash crash into stuff," Gary said with a sadist's smile growing on his face.
"We can watch him do that at the dance, Gary," Natty grinned. "Come on, let's go."
"This place is full of drunks and prostitutes," Misty whispered under her breath.
"Yeah, but it's full of a lot of other people too. You shouldn't judge based on appearance, Misty," Tracey scolded, beginning to take out his sketch pad as they sat around a table and waited for some service.
"Oh look who's talking! Mr. I'm going to sketch every pretty girl I see is lecturing me about judging by appearances! Well you know what?" Misty took his sketch pad from his hands and ripped in half. "Hypocrite!" She sat down in a huff, her arms crossed over her chest. "Sorry, I lost my temper. It comes from living with three older sisters and only having one bathroom."
(this will all have a point later, bear with me) "BURN!" Natty shouted, pointing at Tracey. "You got your notebook ripped up."
"What's a burn?" Ash asked innocently.
"It's insulting someone in a funny way," Misty explained. "Apparently, somebody's been watching outdated comedy shows."
"Are you mocking all that is That 70s Show?" Natty gasped. "Oooh! Riku's going to hurt you bad when she finds out about that!" She turned to Ash. "Now, say you started crying, which you do constantly because you're a wimp."
"Hey!"
"Get over it, Ash. You're a wimp," Misty rolled her eyes.
"Thank you, Ms. Waterflower. Now, if you were crying, I could call you a girl, though it may be sexist, by saying something like "oh real brave, Ashley. I like your skirt." And then I could shout burn. Though, that's a really bad burn. Just practice and I'm sure you'll get better."
"Here, let me demonstrate," Misty smiled as the waitress set down the drinks. "Hey, Tracey, could I have some water?" She asked politely.
"Sure, Misty!" Tracey smiled brightly, letting Misty take the drink from him. She immediately took the drink, and downed half of it, only to spit it back out into the cup. "Hey!"
"Burn," she grinned.
"Well, Misty, I had a feeling you were going to do that, so I spit in it right before you gulped down half the glass," he snickered. Misty gasped, her eyes wide and scrambled for a napkin to spit in. "Burn!" Tracey shouted enthusiastically, leaving Natty, Gary and Ash to snigger at the mortified girl.
Meanwhile…
"Hi, uh, I was wondering if you'd come sing a duet with me?" No, it wasn't Brock (he's off doing something else that I don't care about), but a shy girl, desperately hoping for the infamous Drew's attention.
"Sorry, but I'm going to have to turn you down. Hey I'm sure there's someone else you can sing with," he shrugged, flipping his hair back arrogantly with a sophisticated smile. The girl's cheeks began to redden, and she barely managed to stutter out a thank you before giving a fangirlish squeal of delight at having Drew actually talk to her and racing back to her table where her many friends also squealed as she relayed her tale to intently listening ears.
"Why'd you turn her down Drew?" May asked, her eyes looking at her twitchy hands fiddling with her napkin.
"I don't know her all that well. Besides, I don't like the girl being the one to ask, I'm into chivalry, and chivalry doesn't include the girl's making the first move."
"That has nothing to do with chivalry," May snapped. "Besides, you shouldn't turn down a girl just because she asked you. She might've like you. You know, like I-" May bit her lip and cut herself off, quickly coming up with a lie. Drew looked at her suspiciously from the corner of his eye. "Like I know that they're acting like Brock whenever he sees a girl, but maybe it is just nerves and they really like you."
"That's not what you were going to say," he accused. "But you are right. If I turn down every girl that asks I won't be singing any duets tonight."
"Don't be so full of yourself. Not every girl is head over heels for you."
"Only if they're matched up with someone else,' Drew scoffed. "You know, all they girls that already have boyfriends or husbands for that matter?"
"That's not true, I mean, look at…Misty!" May said. Misty looked up from the napkin she was still spitting into.
"Yeah, May?"
"Are you going to ask Drew to sing a duet with you tonight?" May inquired. Misty's eyebrows slowly raised and she gave May her 'are you nuts or stupid' look. "It's to win an argument, yes or no."
"No, I'm not going to sing with your boyfriend," Misty rolled her eyes. "You don't have to worry."
"He's not my boyfriend!" May shrieked, her face turning red. Misty snickered, realizing how much fun it was to tease someone about their love life for the first time, and then began to help put sugar into Ash's water with Gary and Natty. "Anyway, that proves it, Drew. Not every girl is in love with you."
"I said every girl that isn't paired up," Drew explained, looking pointedly at Ash, who was getting a lot of close contact with the red haired mischief maker as her tried to pry her away from his drink screaming 'no more sugar, Mist, quit!' "Everyone else loves me. Admit it, even you're starting to like me as more than a friend."
"I am not!" May hissed.
"Right, so, you wouldn't mind if I got up on stage and sang a love song to the girls in the audience, and you, because we're just friends, right? And, if we're just friends, no part of you would be jealous or embarrassed, just angry because I was making you a fool."
"Right," May blinked uncertainly, trying to understand what Drew was saying to her. "Hold on, I just said that I didn't like you, right?"
"Did you?"
"I don't know! That's why I asked!" May shrieked.
"Do you like me or not?" Drew asked, crossing his arms over his chest. And so began May's inner struggle, did she tell, or did she keep her scary stalker type love of him a secret? "Hello, May? Earth to May?" Drew asked, May staying silent for a little too long.
"Huh? Oh, right," she smiled, coming out of her daze. "I don't like you!"
"Fine then, I'm going to sing," he said cockily, leaving May to blink in confusion.
"May, did Drew just say he was going to sing?" Max asked, watching Drew leap up onto the stage in a graceful leap as several girls around the room squealed with fangirl glee. "Because, he's on stage."
"Oh my goodness golly goshes!" Natty shouted, leaping up on top of her chair. "Sing a country song! Sing there Ain't Nothin' 'Bout You by Brooks and Dun which none of us here own!" Drew froze and stared at her suspiciously.
"Why would I sing a country song?"
"Because it'd be hilarious, duh!" Natty rolled her eyes. "I thought you were smart! Besides, I know you know it! I've been singing it this whole week! And besides, they've got the little screen thingy so you can learn the words!"
"Fine, I'm singing a country song!" Drew huffed, frowning as the intro started. "Happy now?"
"Yes," she smirked, sitting back down.
"Once I thought that love was something I could never do. Never knew that I could feel this much. But this yearning in the deep part of my heart for you. Is more than a reaction to your touch. It's a perfect passion and I can't get enough," Drew sang, and surprisingly, started getting into the song. With a smirk, the arrogant teen leaped from the stage and began walking to the nearest all girl table, causing them to shiver in excitement.
"The way you look, the way you laugh, The way you love with all you have, There ain't nothing bout you that don't do something for me, The way you kiss, The way you cry, The way you move when you walk by There's ain't nothing bout you (there ain't nothing bout you) That don't do something for me," He was trying his best not to laugh as he strode around the table, slowly shaking his head at each of the girls who seemed so desperately hopeful to be asked to dance with him. He quietly strode to the next table, and the next, rejecting each girl as he went, leaving a trail or broken hearts behind him.
"Hey, guys, you don't think he's slowly moving towards our table, do you?" May gulped nervously. The only response she gained form her table was smirks and a "Misty, how many sugar packs have you eaten?" from Ash.
"I dunno, lost count 'round twelve. Hey! Hey! Let's dance, Ash! Oh! Ohohohohoh! I know something even better! We could run around in circles until I throw up! Doesn't that sound like fun? Woo-hoo! I'm on such a sugar high," she cackled, dragging Ash out onto the nearly empty dance floor.
"In my life I've been hammered by some heavy blows. That never knocked me off my feet. All you gotta do is smile at me and down I go. And baby it's no mystery why I surrender. Girl you got everything," Drew continued, carefully avoiding the overexcited duo of pokémon trainers, who currently were running around in circles, giving little "woo-hoo's" every once in a while, and continued his walk down heartbreaker road."The way you look, the way you laugh, The way you love with all you have, There ain't nothing bout you that don't do something for me The way you kiss, The way you cry, The way you move when you walk by There's ain't nothing bout you (there ain't nothing bout you) That don't do something for me."
"Oh no," May gulped, squeezing her eyes open and closed as Drew walked up to her table, casually leaning on the back of her chair. She felt two cherry blossoms bloom into full flower on her face.
"I love your attitude, your rose tattoo, your every thought. Your smile, you lips and girl the list goes on and on and on," he pulled a rose out from his jacket and handed it to her. "Red roses mean deep, passionate, everlasting love. Did you know that, May? Of course, this rose is a bit more burgundy than red, which means I'm telling you you're more beautiful than you think." He inquired sweetly over the intro. May then discovered that, despite popular belief, her cheeks could most definitely blossom much farther into cherry blossom hood, crossing from the pinkish tint into what else but the deep red rose Drew handed to her. He tapped the microphone for a minute, then shrugged. "Okay, I'm done," he said, tossing the microphone into the crowd where it was promptly caught and sold on Ebay by one very lucky guy. "Did you like my performance?"
"What if I said yes?" May suddenly snapped, finally being pushed over the edge.
"Huh?" Drew asked, his eyes widening in surprise.
"What if I said yes? And, what if I gave you back this rose, and said I thought it was more of a burgundy than a red one?" She asked, shoving the rose back into his hand. (A/N: Now, this is slightly important people. I consider this type of behavior to work with May. As you may have noticed, May doesn't deal with embarrassment well, and after she reaches a certain point of embarrassment, she sort of, cracks and gets pretty darn mad. This is my opinion, I'm sure you have your own. However, please no 'it was totally OOC' reviews!) "And what if I asked you if you were going to go on a date tomorrow with me? What would you say?" She hissed.
"I'd say I knew it," he said coolly.
"I've had it with the tough guy routine!" May shouted, drawing attention from almost everyone else in the room, excepting Ash and Misty, who were finally crashing in a corner, drunk tired from their sugar high. "You know what? I'm tired of being the only one who loses their cool whenever we have a conversation! I'm going to get a reaction out of you if it's the last thing I ever do!" And with that statement, she pulled Drew up to his feet by his shirt, and shoved her mouth onto his. Poor Drew did give a reaction, a pretty good one, his eyes widening and a nice blush crawling over his cheeks. Around the room, a nice batch of whistling and hoots erupted. That brought May to her senses enough to gasp. "Oh my gosh, I just kissed my crush! Oh my gosh, I just told him he was my crush!" She cried again before racing to the bathroom.
"I'll pick you up Saturday then?" He asked, running his finger along the top of his shirt and clearing his throat nervously. "Well, I'm sweaty. I'm going to the bathroom now and trying not to throw up from all the stress."
Meanwhile…
"Hey, Ash? I think, y'know I think I could still dance a bit more," she said, casting a sleepy flirtatious smile in Ash's direction.
"That's nice," he yawned. "Who're y'gonna dance with?"
"He's short and sitting right next to me," Misty scoffed.
"Really?" Ash asked in surprise. He glanced down at Pikachu. "Hey buddy! You get to dance with Misty! Aren't you lucky?" He grinned. Misty promptly leaned over and smacked him across the head. "Oh! You meant me, huh?"
"Mmm-hmm. But you probably don't, I mean, you don't like me or anything."
"Only if you don't."
"Huh?"
"I don't like you if you don't like me. But if you like me then maybe I'll like you, not to say that I do if you don't because, I mean, I don't if you don't. But, if you do, then it's possible that I could like you back…" Ash rambled uselessly.
"Ash, shut up," she gave a little smirk, dragging him out on to the dance floor for the second time that night. "Alright, now, I put my hands on your shoulders," she did so. "And you put your hands on my waist."
"I put my what on your where?" Ash gasped, his cheeks turning red.
"Hands on hips," she instructed. "Now, just rock back and forth a bit. Jees, Ash, don't you know how to slow dance?"
"No, I don't slow dance. And the music is too fast, anyway," Ash said. And, as in the case in many a story, the music changed as if on cue, to something much slower. "Well that's better," Ash grinned, not really listening to the song. His grin faltered as he noticed Misty starring at him, her head cocked to the side. "Hey, Mist, whatchya lookin'-" Ash was cut off as Misty darted forward to kiss Ash for a moment, before pulling back.
"Did you like-" she began, right before Ash answered her unspoken question by forcing his lips onto hers once more.
"Should we laugh at them and the song now, or later?" Max grinned wickedly.
"Later, Max," Tracey smirked. "Give them their moment," he smiled at the new couple. He glanced over at Natty and Gary, who were flirting so pathetically (since Natty isn't very good with boys she doesn't kick) it was almost embarrassing. "Go ahead and mock them, though."
And in the background, there was a sweet little song playing for the perfect fairytale romance:
I know we've been, Friends Forever, But now I think I'm feelin' somethin' totally new. And after all this time, I've opened up my eyes, Now I see. You were always with me!
Could it be, You and I, Never imagined? Could it be, Suddenly, I'm fallin' for you? (I am falling!) Could it be? You were right here beside me, And I never knew? Could it be, That it's true, That it's you...
Aw! Cuddly ending! Everybody hug something adorable and press the review button! …Or not…I'm too tired to care.