Being what I don't want to be

Author: -abbychansookawaii-

Summary: Syaoran is cold and rude boy but it's not in the inside. Sakura misunderstands him when he says no to her… Oh, I'm spilling too much! XD

A/N: I'm so glad you guys reviewed! Thanks for the reviews everyone! I really appreciate it. What would you guys consider… Tomoyo dying or Nadeshiko dying? Haha! Just kidding! But be prepared guys! Be prepared… ENJOY!

~Kangei suru~

Chapter 2

After School

Sakura smiled beside Tomoyo. They sat on a bench and ate their ice cream together.

"Sakura-chan, I'm really sorry I got you in trouble today." Tomoyo apologized as she hugged Sakura.

"It's okay! Besides, I had such a nice time while I was in detention today!" Sakura smiled then she giggled.

Tomoyo noticed Sakura's smile then smiled warmly. "I can see that."

Sakura began to blush as she remembered Syaoran's perfect amber eyes. Tomoyo giggled. "Sakura, you are so in love!"

Sakura stuck out her tongue to Tomoyo then smiled again.

"Tomoyo, I better be going now. Ne?"

"Okay, bye." Tomoyo waved her hand goodbye to Sakura as she ran like the wind.

Sakura entered her house cheerfully but heard something strange. A girl was crying somewhere near her room. Sakura began to shiver. She gasped. 'Oh no! Could it be the ghost Syaoran cursed on me?! Nah! It's still afternoon so how could a ghost appear? Maybe it's just my imagination.'

She went to the kitchen to find a paper on the dining table. She took it and read.

Sakura darling,

I have to go somewhere and it's really important. Can you please wait for me? I might come home late and maybe I won't even come tonight. If you want, you can invite Tomoyo to sleepover with you okay? Oh, and don't forget to eat! There's some food in the fridge. Take care Sakura!

Love, okaa-san.

Sakura felt confused. "Why wouldn't she be back? I mean, where could she possibly go?"

At night

She took out the food from the fridge and heated it up in the microwave oven. She began to eat alone. (A/N: In this story, Sakura does not have a brother.)

She felt sad alone, and kept on wondering. 'Great! Dad's at a business trip and mom's gone… I'm going to be so lonely alone! UGH! Okay, how 'bout if I invite Tomoyo? Yeah! That's a good idea! But It's night already… I might just disturb her. Forget it! I'm not inviting any—'

Sakura heard something again. She was sure she heard a girl crying miserably in her room. Sakura's heart pounded like… like… whatever you call it! She began to cry.

"I don't want to be alone! HOEEEEEE!!!!!!!" She dialed Tomoyo's number as fast as she could and listened to the phone. No one was picking up and then, a girl's voice suddenly spoke.

'S-a-k-u-r-a… Play with me…!'

She wanted to get out of the house and get near someone as fast as she could, but she felt something very cold near her skin. She looked back, and then she saw something white behind her window. (A/N: The curtains of the window are color white okay? But, what I'm trying to say is, behind the curtains and the window, there is something white. Okay… I hope you understand.)

Sakura screamed as loudly as she could and turned the doorknob. The only problem was that it was locked.

She then remembered what Syaoran told her and suddenly felt like begging him to stop. She sat down on the floor, terrified.

"I beg you Li-kun! Stop it! Just stop it!" She began crying as hard as she could when suddenly, the door opened.

"I knew you'd say that." That boy, with his handsome looks came in. That smirk of his was so cute. But Sakura was too frightened to respond by doing the usual blush thingy.

"Don't you think my sister's such a good actress? What did you think about it?" Syaoran asked, looking around her house. He looked back at the door. "What are you waiting for sis? Get in."

Sakura, with her tears still streaming out, looked at the door as Syaoran's not-so-identical sister came out of the dark. She had a flashlight with her and she wore a white dress. She had long blonde curls that reached to her waist and had blue eyes. To Sakura, she didn't look like Syaoran at all. The strange girl smiled warmly as she came near Sakura.

"Gomene… I'm so sorry for what my brother did to you. He's really childish you know. But I hope you aren't afraid of staying in your own house now. I really apologize on behalf of my brother!"

She looked at Syaoran and scowled. "Look at what you did to her! Apologize you baka!"

"Hey you agreed to do this!" He said, defending himself.

She rolled her eyes and looked at Sakura warmly. 'So you're that lucky girl huh?'

She supported Sakura to stand up and sit on the couch. Sakura looked at the girl confusingly.

The girl looked at Sakura and smiled but then gasped. "Oh no wonder why you were looking at me like that! My name is Li Megumi. You can call me Megumi-chan!"

Sakura smiled a bit but then looked at Syaoran angrily. "YOU! Get out of my house! Don't you know how much you tortured me?! I thought I was going to die in here!"

She stood up and walked to Syaoran who was looking at her. She grabbed a pillow from the couch and began to hit him.

"GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!!!!!" She shouted at him as she pushed him roughly to the door. Sakura was a bit crying now because she remembered how scared she was in the house, being tortured.

"You don't know how I was so scared alone!" She cried as he began to feel guilty.

"Hey! Wait!" He said as she was about to bang the door in front of him.

Sakura slapped him on the face while tears where streaming out of her eyes. "You never knew how scared I was…"

Syaoran looked at her in the eyes, while she looked away and closed the door. She sighed but walked to Megumi who was feeling a bit uneasy.

Sakura wiped her tears away then looked and smiled at Megumi.

"Would you like something to drink?" She asked.

"No thank you… But can I talk to you?" Megumi asked eagerly.

Sakura felt uneasy but agreed. "Yeah, sure."

Sakura sat beside her while Megumi looked at her very eagerly. Sakura felt like it was very important.

Megumi looked down at the floor, then at Sakura. She had a little blush on her face as she began to speak.

"Um… Firstly, can I call you Sakura-chan?"

"Uh… Yeah, sure." Sakura answered.

"Well, um… Sakura-chan," Megumi looked down again, blushing wildly. "Can you be my best friend?" She continued as she looked at Sakura. She took Sakura's hand in hers and looked eagerly in Sakura's eyes.

Sakura sweat dropped as she saw the willing look in Megumi but smiled. "But you know Megumi, since we're already talking, I can consider you as a friend right now."

Megumi wailed as she heard the word 'friend'. "Friend only?" She began to whimper. "Sakura-chan… I understand."

Sakura sweat dropped as she saw dark auras filling the room. Sakura smiled uneasily and continued. "But… if we get to know each other more, we can become best friends!"

Megumi glanced at her and smiled brightly. "Really?!" Her eyes were twinkling as she asked.

"Then, what's your favorite color? When were you born? Where were you born? Who are your friends? What's the name of your father? What's the name of your mother? Do you have any siblings? What do you like to do in the morning and at night? What are your hobbies? Do you like ice cream? Coz I do! I love strawberry flavor the most! What kind of food do you like? I like pizza! I love it especially when there is cheese! Oh… I feel like eating it right now but what the heck! I can wait till the next minute! And lastly, who's your boyfriend???" By this time Megumi was right in front of Sakura's face as she smiled widely.

Sakura sweat dropped to the fact that she asked so many questions and especially because she asked her if she had a boyfriend. She did her famous 'hoe?' and gently pushed Megumi away. She let her sit down to where she sat before and smiled uneasily.

"Uh… Megumi-chan… I really do apologize that I couldn't get what you said but I did catch that you liked ice cream."

"Strawberry ice cream. And I like pizza…" She pouted.

Sakura giggled as she patted Megumi's back gently. "Hehe. You are one funny little girl."

"Hey! I'm twelve years old!" She added as she glanced at Sakura.

Sakura widened her eyes in disbelief. "No way!"

Megumi raised one of her eyebrows.

"I mean… well, um… You look like a fifteen year old girl to me." Sakura giggled as she rubbed the back of her head.

Megumi laughed at this and smiled. "Do you really think I look old?"

"Like, duh!" Sakura answered, smiling with her.

"How old are you anyway?" Megumi asked.

"Well, I'm going to eighteen next month." She answered.

Megumi nodded then became serious which Sakura found strange.

Megumi looked down feeling sad. Sakura wanted to say something but got interrupted by Megumi.

"You know, ever since my brother, Syaoran, met you, he has been talking about you all day long."

Sakura glanced at her, blushing slightly. "Like what?"

"All kinds of things. Like, he said you were ugly and fat. And you were very annoying, very sensitive, and such a crybaby. Oh. And he also said you were a pig head."

Sakura felt like running to Syaoran and ripping him into shreds but she decided to wait for the next day.

Megumi continued gently and slowly. "But you know… it's very unusual for him to talk about a girl so much. Usually he wouldn't even care about girls… he didn't like…"

Sakura gasped, and then she felt heat rising up to her cheeks. 'Does that mean… he… likes me…?'

Megumi looked at Sakura and smiled a bit. "Sakura-chan… Syaoran really didn't mean to make you scared all alone here. And the fact that Syaoran tortured you inside your own house but… He really didn't want to make you cry."

Sakura frowned. "Megumi-chan, I understand that you're defending him because he's your brother but, there's no way that I'd forgive him for what he has done. Especially because he scared me to death just a few minutes ago!"

Megumi sighed. "You don't understand… Syaoran actually did this because he didn't want you to feel lonely tonight."

"Yeah he wanted me to be with a ghost right?" Sakura asked sarcastically.

Megumi frowned. "Sakura-chan! My brother isn't bad as you think he is! He's really a very—"

"Stupid boy. That's what he is."

Megumi frowned and sighed. Boy was it hard to talk with Sakura. "You are really dense, you know that? Fine, I'll tell you the truth. Syaoran made you scared, yes. And because he made you scared, you had to depend on him to stop. Because you begged him to stop, he came in so at least somebody was there for you. He really didn't want you to think that he cared for you! He had to put it in a harsh way…!"

Megumi gasped and covered her mouth. 'Oh no! I told her! I told her what Syaoran told me not to tell her! I'm such a blabber mouth!'

Sakura blushed and looked away. 'He really cares about me that much?'

Megumi stood up. "Sakura-chan, I have to go now…"

She ran out of the house leaving Sakura shocked.

'No… It can't be… No cool boy would fall in love with me, a no-shape body… No… why do I feel so confused?'

The next day

Sakura walked to school, still feeling confused. 'Mom's still not here, Dad's still not here, and the fact that Syaoran… really cares for me… makes me…' She looked up at the sky and sighed. 'Confused…'

She walked to her class, and opened the door. She found that there was nobody in the class and sighed. For a minute now, she felt comfortable alone and free from everything. She didn't think of anything. Not even her best friend, Tomoyo.

She sat down on her seat, and put down her hat on her table and sighed. Suddenly, the door opened, making Sakura surprised.

It was the boy with the amber eyes, which astounded Sakura.

Syaoran glanced at her and found that he wasn't first to come in the school. This made him upset, for he always was the first in the class. Often with the punctuality.

He walked past her, still upset with what happened the previous day, and sat on his seat, listening to his ipod.

Sakura blushed and turned around to find Syaoran's eyes closed. She faced her front, a bit sad that he wasn't the usual playful and stubborn boy.

Then she felt like saying sorry to him. She turned around and looked at him for a while. Syaoran opened his eyes and saw Sakura, looking somehow sad at him. As she saw him look at her eyes, she blushed wildly.

They stayed like that for a while. Sakura was thinking on how to apologize and started to stammer.

"Uh… um… Li-kun… I just wanna say… well… um… I'm really, really sorry! I want to apologize for slapping you yesterday."

Syaoran kept looking at her and then closed his eyes. Sakura looked at him, and felt like she was going to die in a minute now. Sakura stared at him hopelessly, feeling that she was being ignored.

Then she looked at his ears and then slapped her head. 'I can't believe you didn't know that he was listening to his ipod! Ugh! You baka…'

Sakura turned around and sighed. "All that words for nothing…"

"Well, you forgot about you hitting me with a pillow. Which awfully hurt me a lot."

Sakura glanced at him and saw him remove his earphone from his ears and putting it in his pocket. He wasn't looking at her at all so he looked at the window, hiding a smirk.

Sakura faced her front, and smiled.

But Syaoran was confused. 'I wonder why she's not asking me to apologise to her...?'

The door opened, and students began to enter the classroom. Tomoyo glanced at Sakura and Syaoran, then smiled.

'They were alone in the classroom right? Hehe… I have a good feeling about this.' Tomoyo thought as she smirked.

She walked to Sakura and smiled, "Ohayo, Sakura-chan."

Sakura smiled brightly. "Ohayo Tomoyo-chan!" She stood up and hugged Tomoyo, which was very unusual for Tomoyo.

Syaoran looked at them, but looked away when Sakura looked at him. She walked to him and knocked his head hardly.

Syaoran yelled. "Ow!"

He glanced at her angrily, making Sakura sweat drop but soon regained her natural behavior.

"It's rude not to greet other people you know!" She scolded as she folded her arms.

Syaoran scowled at her. "Well, sorry but I'm not that kind of boy."

Sakura raised her eyebrow. "Humph. I can see that right now."

Tomoyo saw how the two were progressing and giggled.

The two teens glared at her and chorused. "What's so funny?!"

Tomoyo gulped and sat on her chair.

The two had some kind of thunderous-eye-contact and they both looked away. Sakura went back to her seat, and sat down.

She soon calmed down as she heard a student yell, "Tereda-sensei's coming!"

The teacher soon entered and the students greeted him, making him feel welcomed as usual.

"Good morning class. We have a new student today."

All the students besides Syaoran, Tomoyo and Sakura said "Hehh!!" and the class became noisy.

"Ahem! (Students become quiet) As I was saying, there's a new student today. Come in please."

As he came in, all the girls shouted and screamed.

"OMG he's so handsome!"

"Is he a celebrity or something?"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! I THINK I'M GOING TO FAINT!" And she drops on the floor. Nobody even bothered to help her up.

"Is this a dream? Hika-chan can you please pinch me?"

"I LOVE YOU WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS!!!"

"I'm single!"

All of the girls kept on shouting and screaming until Tereda-sensei had to bang on the desk.

"Keep quiet! This is a school and I don't expect you to behave like that!" He shouted furiously.

Tomoyo felt her heart ache. She held her chest tightly and felt confused. 'He reminds me of someone… But, why does my heart pain so much? Could it be…'

Sakura saw Tomoyo's reaction and began to worry. Syaoran too felt as if Tomoyo was feeling hurt, then glanced at the dark blue haired boy.

Sakura also looked at the boy and smiled. 'He came back!'

Syaoran glanced at Sakura and saw her smile. He felt an angry emotion inside of him and looked at the boy. He scowled at him and looked away.

"Now please introduce yourself." The sensei continued.

The student smirked as his eyes looked at Tomoyo. Tomoyo met with his and blushed.

"I'm Hiragizawa Eriol. I hope we can get along very well."

Some girls fainted as they heard his voice. Their boyfriends had to snap them back to life because sensei had ordered them to do so.

Tomoyo gasped. 'E-Eriol…?' A tear escaped her eye but she quickly wiped away her tear before anyone could see. But Eriol saw it.

"You can pick any empty seats, Hiragizawa-san."

Eriol looked around the room and noticed that there was an empty seat behind Tomoyo. He walked to her seat and looked at her.

Tomoyo looked up uneasily at Eriol. He smiled softly.

"Long time no meet, Tomoyo." He looked at Sakura and nodded to her. Sakura smiled in reply. He sat down on his seat while Sakura glanced at Tomoyo, who looked away.

Syaoran scowled at Eriol because he looked at him. Eriol smiled at Syaoran but he looked away.

'There must be a lot of problems going on between these three.' Eriol smirked as he looked at Tomoyo from behind, then at Sakura, then Syaoran.

After class

Sakura ate at the cafeteria with Tomoyo who was not as cheerful as before. She glanced at her sad friend, and hugged her.

Tomoyo, who was shocked, smiled and returned the hug.

"Tomoyo-chan, are you okay?"

"What do you mean? Nothing's wrong." Tomoyo replied as she withdrew from her hug.

Sakura sighed. "Tomoyo-chan, stop pretending. I know you're sad right now. Do you want to talk about it?"

Tomoyo smiled. "It's really nothing Sakura…"

Sakura raised her eyebrow. "You sure?"

Tomoyo nodded. "Yes I'm sure."

Sakura smiled. "Okay then! Where's that rascal?" She looked around the room to look for Syaoran.

Syaoran was in another table, sitting alone. Sakura felt pity for him.

"Tomoyo-chan, um… can I sit with Syaoran…?" Sakura asked her, blushing.

Tomoyo smiled and nodded. "Of course you can!"

Sakura smiled and hugged Tomoyo. She quickly took her tray and ran to Syaoran's table.

'I'm so happy she's so open to Syaoran now. She wasn't like this before… I wonder what happened.' Tomoyo thought as she looked at Sakura running to him.

Sakura looked at Syaoran eating his food quietly. "Ahem."

Syaoran looked up to see Sakura smiling. "So, can I sit here with you?"

Syaoran smirked. "Only a crazy person would want to sit with a pig head."

Sakura scowled at him. "Oh I'm sorry. But I'm not a pig head so would you mind shifting a bit?"

Syaoran chuckled and continued eating. "In your dreams."

Sakura glared at him and knocked his head hardly.

Syaoran yelled 'Ow!' again and scowled at her but she only became more impatient.

"SHIFT!" Sakura said as she pushed him and sat there, eating happily.

Syaoran scowled at her, but she was ignoring him so he couldn't do anything anymore.

Syaoran looked at Tomoyo to see that she was sitting alone. "Hey, how 'bout your friend. Won't she feel lonely?"

Sakura glanced at Tomoyo and sighed. "She needs to work things out with Eriol. And somebody needs to help them."

Syaoran glanced at her. "What do you mean?"

Sakura sighed. "Well…"

Flash Back

"Eriol-kun! Wait up!" Tomoyo ran after Eriol who was already far away. Tomoyo caught up with him and grabbed his hand in hers. She pouted as Eriol chuckled.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" She asked as he smiled at her.

"Because I thought you said you were angry at me." He answered.

"Well, that's because you ate my blue berry ice cream which I really liked!"

Eriol smiled at her, looking through her beautiful violet eyes. Tomoyo blushed and smiled.

They walked to a park not far away from the school, and sat on a bench.

"Hey, where's Sakura?" Eriol asked as he glanced at the little children running after each other.

"She said she had to cook dinner today, so she went home." Tomoyo answered as she remembered her kind friend, who knew her situation.

Eriol smiled. "Well, that's great. We can be alone now."

Tomoyo glanced at him. "What? (Covered her chest) Are you trying to rape me?" She shifted away from him, making a serious look on her face.

Eriol sweat dropped. "N-no! Why would you think of that? I'm your best friend for crying out loud!"

Tomoyo sighed in relief and went back to her position.

"It's just that… I want to tell you something…" Eriol looked at her, making her look at him.

Tomoyo noticed his worried face and became worried too. "What is it Eriol-kun?"

"…I'm traveling back to England tomorrow."

Tomoyo widened her eyes, shocked. "A-are you coming back?"

"Well, I'll try to."

"Why? You can't?" Tomoyo asked curiously.

Eriol rubbed the back of his head with his hand and said uneasily. "Yeah, kind of…"

"What? Why?" Tomoyo became more curious, trying not to hug him and cry in his arms.

"My mother says that I have to become the next heir of the Hiragizawa clan… So… I have to go, or else she'll have to set me up with somebody I don't know."

Tomoyo was saddened because of his news, and felt like crying. "Why did you have tell me now?! Why couldn't you tell me last week? Why do you have to treat me this way?!"

She ran away as fast as she could and became blinded by her tears. She tried not to cry, but it spilled out by itself. She ran near a lake and crouched on the ground. She cried with all her heart and roughly wiped any tear that escaped her eyes.

Eriol of course, knew that she would try to run away from him. So after Tomoyo ran, he also followed her to make sure she doesn't do anything that would hurt her.

He knew she was very sensitive and emotional, so he had to comfort her. Besides, they were childhood friends. He knew her very well.

He saw her beside the lake and walked to her. He sat beside her but she pushed him away.

"Stay away from me." She warned him as she looked away from him and wiped her tears.

Eriol frowned and hugged her tenderly.

"I'm sorry Tomoyo… But I really have to go."

Tomoyo kept on struggling in his arms and kept on weeping. "Then go already!"

Eriol tried to calm her down with his hug but she was too stubborn. She roughly pushed him away and ran away again but he caught her hand before she could go.

"Tomoyo! Wait! I—"

Tomoyo shook away his hand and looked in his eyes, tears streaming out.

"No! I don't want to hear you talk anymore! Leave me alone! Just go away!" She ran, feeling knives stabbing her heart.

Eriol looked down, he hadn't done what he was supposed to do before he left and that made him annoyed. It made him feel hurt and he walked away, knowing that she would have to carry a burden for all her life.

End of flashback

Syaoran also felt sad by this, and he could feel the pain that Tomoyo felt.

"If only she would listen to him." Syaoran said as he continued eating.

Sakura nodded. "But, it was really hard for her you know. Her best friend left her alone, feeling confused."

"How many years did she wait for him?" He asked curiously.

"Uh… actually, three years." Sakura replied.

"Well, that's long enough. But, isn't he too young to inherit the heir of the Hiragizawa clan? I mean… he was just fourteen years old." He said before drinking his coke.

"Well, unfortunately… his father died. And he's an only son… So, he has to inherit it." Sakura replied.

Syaoran looked at Tomoyo and saw Eriol standing in front of her. He nudged Sakura making her look at Eriol and Tomoyo.

"Should we stop him?" Syaoran asked.

"No! I told you we need to make them get together again." Sakura hissed as she bent her head a bit low acting as if she was spying.

Syaoran raised an eyebrow. "We?"

Sakura rolled her eyes and used her hand to bend Syaoran head low.

Tomoyo continued eating, not noticing that Eriol was in front of her.

"Tomoyo,"

Tomoyo looked up and saw Eriol, that person who broke her heart.

"Can I sit here with you?" He asked, unsure if she would say yes.

Tomoyo looked down. "You can,"

Eriol smiled and sat with her.

"After I've gone." Tomoyo stood up but Eriol caught her hand.

"Tomoyo… Please, don't leave." He pleaded, trying to look her in the eye, but she wouldn't look at him.

Suddenly, a tear dropped on his face. It rolled down his cheeks till it dropped to the ground. He knew this was a tear from Tomoyo, and frowned.

Tomoyo walked away, feeling that stabbing pain again from three years ago. After walking a few seconds, she felt the urge to run as fast as she could. And she did, trying not to get other people's attention.

Syaoran's eyes followed Tomoyo and then he looked at Eriol, who stood up.

"So, should we follow Tomoyo?" Syaoran asked Sakura, who was already frowning.

"No. Besides, she'll pretend to be strong in front of us." Sakura answered, feeling sad.

"Let her cry alone so that at least it'll make her feel a bit relieved." Sakura continued, while he nodded in agreement.

Eriol, who was still standing there, felt like blaming himself. He understood Tomoyo, and wanted to do a new mission in his life. To help Tomoyo let go of her burden… which could use some help from Sakura. Or maybe some help from Sakura and that boy, who he was soon going to befriend…

~RxR~

A/N: I'm sorry one billion times!!!!!! I'm sorry I updated sooo late! Did I take months to update? School and stuff was bothering me. And I had a secret admirer. So I had to deal with it! XD Oh well… I hope it wasn't corny… well, is it? Please read and review!

Love,

Abby-chan.