I'm sorry for the long waits between chapters, I hope the length of this one makes up for it. There is only one more plus epilogue left.

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10 MONTHS LATER

WASHINGTON DC

It's been 10 long months since he'd last seen the woman in front of who's door he was now hesitating. Shortly after his transfer to DC, Kerry had also been promoted and transferred to Pentagon, something he privately took as a sign. The last 10 months had been long, hard and lonely, but he was now certain that he was in the right place emotionally and mentally for what he was about to do.

So, here he was now, knocking on the wooden door of the apartment, listening to the shuffling sounds inside.

The door opened and the beautiful woman he'd been missing terribly for so long was staring at him, her red curls mussed up in the way he loved and her lovely eyes wide.

"General O'Neill!" she breathed surprised.

"Jack." he corrected gently, indicating a personal tone to his visit.

Her eyes widened even more.

"Jack." she confirmed, nodding slowly.

He grinned, only a sliver of the roguish grin that had stolen her heart. Finally realizing they were still standing in the doorway she opened the door wider and beckoned him in. "Come in."

He followed her into the living room, looking appreciatively at the furnishings. The woman had taste, the memory of just how much lovelier she'd made his little house still burning in his mind.

She directed him to take a seat on the couch and prompted. "Beer?"

"Great, thanks." he nodded, smiling tensely.

She brought him a cold beer, a Guiness, he noticed with a raised eyebrow to which she just blushed, since Guiness was his favorite brewery and he knew she didn't drink beer. Jack took a couple of swigs, after which he just fiddled with it. After the initial surprise Kerry had collected herself and was now polite, but reserved, not willing to risk her heart anymore. It hurt him to see it, because it was his fault for her need to protect herself from him.

After a minute of silence Kerry couldn't take it anymore. "Why are you here?"

Jack smiled briefly. Kerry didn't like to beat around the bush, which was just one of the things he loved about her.

"Oh, it's such a fine day" it was raining outside "and I thought I'd just drop by and see how you're doing."

Kerry smirked, reading him like a book "Drop the bullshit, Jack, I know you never go anywhere without some damn good reason. We've both been in DC for 10 months and this is the first time you visit."

He grimaced, secretly thrilled she still cared enough to be keeping tabs on him, and took a deep breath, letting it out. He clenched his fists not to see just how much his hands were trembling from nerves.

Locking eyes with her, the intensity in his brown orbs startled her.

"I came to apologize..."

"Jack..." she cut him off, growing uncomfortable and bolted out of her armchair, crossing the room to the window in a few steps.

"Please." that one word stopped her protests, making her turn around. "I need to say this. I should've done it a long time ago."

After a brief thought she nodded, giving him permission.

"I'm sorry, Kerry. I'm sorry for hurting you, for leading you on, for making you believe we had a future together when my heart still belonged to another."

The pain came back into her eyes, the pain he'd first seen after Carter had dropped by his house and Kerry had realized what was going on, and Jack hated himself for introducing Kerry to that kind of pain. He knew that pain personally all too well and didn't want to cause it in someone else. Yet, he had and that made him feel like shit all over again.

"I know you don't have a reason to believe me, but it wasn't done intentionally. I didn't even know I was doing it. Hell, I always believed myself incapable of doing that, yet I did it."

Searching his eyes deeply she found only sincerety and self-recriminations in his warm brown gaze. After a brief hesitation she nodded, taking his apology. Jack exhaled secretly, yet knew full well the fight hadn't been won yet.

"I had a lot of time to think over the past 10 months and I did that. Think, that is. And, no, it didn't hurt." he mock glared at her when he saw her mouth open briefly to make the smart-ass remark "I've come to a few conclusions. Do you know what they were?"

Kerry shrugged, but he still plowed on.

"I made a mistake. I had us go too fast when we should've gone slower. For that I blame no-one but myself. But after 9 years of solitude I was lonely and I craved for what you were willing to give me. I got drunk on your love, took more than was right and with that I did something I never wanted to do. I know I hurt you terribly, if anyone knows how you feel then I do, but I'm still here now, wiser, issue-free and asking you to give me a second chance."

"It didn't work out?" she wanted to know. She loved the man dearly, even after so many months, every morning she woke up and immediately reached to the other side of the bed for him. Everytime she discovered he wasn't there, that she was still lonely, that he was probably with the blonde Colonel, her heart broke anew. She spent every morning crying. But no matter how much she loved him or missed him, she'd never concede to being the consolation prize, second choice, fallback girl. Safe bet.

She and Jack were amazingly similar.

"We didn't even try."

His quiet statement shocked her. They hadn't even tried?

"Why not?" she breathed.

"I realized I was pining for the wrong woman. While I used and hurt the right one, in the end running her off."

She could barely breathe now, his voice and face were so serious as if he was announcing to the world all life on Earth would end within minutes.

"Jack..."

He continued, not hearing her. "A friend of mine helped me see what I needed to do. The Carter I know now is not the same Carter I fell in love with. I had to heal and move on. It took time, but I moved on. I'm here to ask you for another chance."

Kerry again forgot how to breathe.

"I know I don't deserve it after what I did to you, hell, if I were you I would throw me out of the apartment, but I'm still hoping you'll give this old fool the chance to redeem himself and show you how much he loves you and how much he wants a life with you."

Kerry didn't answer at first, he honestly hadn't expected her to answer immediately. Her eyes refused to focus on his and with a slow gait she ambled over to an armchair on the other side of the room, dropped into it and drew her knees to her chest, staring in front of her without seeing anything.

Jack waited for the answer with a baited breath, knowing it could make him unimaginably happy or destroy him for good.

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