Pairing: Jason/Liz.
Title: A Convenient Proposal
AN: Thanks so much for all of the reviews. I'm flattered that anyone would actually mark this piece for 'notice' even. Be patient as my internet is not up at my new place and so I wait until I have access to a computer. This will be hopefully remedied by the end of the week.
Life in Port Charles had been less than pleasant to say the least since the truth came out. Elizabeth found herself time and time again walking in on conversations that seemed to come to an abrupt halt whenever she walked into the staff lounge. Stares would ensue before she muttered some lame excsue to leave. The only safe haven she seemed to find at the hospital was on the roof. She never often went there. But of course she never had a real need to find sanctuary within the hospital. It had always been a refuge from the miseries of life at home, whether it was another minute that kept her from telling another lie to Lucky or from anyone and everyone poking their noses in where they had no right.
"Elizabeth, are you all right?" Epiphany's booming voice woke her from her reveries. "Because if you're not, maybe you should head home? I don't need some distracted nurse making silly mistakes on my shift."
"No." Liz turned and shook her head. "I'm fine," she protested heartily. "I"m great!"
The ebony-skinned matriarch of GH rolled her eyes at her. Liz instantly knew Epiphany saw through any BS that came her way. However she kept silent and hoped that the head nurse was too irritable and busy to try to call her out on it. "Right," Epiphany sighed ruefully. "Funny how I just don't seem to believe it."
"It's been a rough couple of days," she shrugged off and went back to her pile of papers. Liz did not want to go into detail about it. By now, the head nurse knew exactly what she had been up to and like the rest of the staff had some sort of opinion on the matter. Her finger unconsciously rolled the engagement ring around her finger, letting the jaw-dropping diamond rest against the palm of her hand. She did not need to add more fuel to the fire making its' way around the gossip mill. "I'll be fine."
"Elizabeth, I'm not going to judge you," the low, almost baritone voice spoke softly. "I know you know how badly you screwed up when you decided to keep the truth from everyone. But let me tell you something child, you cannot let it eat you up inside. It will run you over like a Mack truck if you let it and you will never recover. Accept responsibility for the carnage and move on."
Liz did not move to look at the woman, whom everyone respected, as she willingly offered her advice on the situation. "I'll live through it," she breathed, closing her eyes and exhaling slowly. Reaching around, she pressed her fingers into the muscles in her shoulders and neck. They were tight and painful. "I've been through worse."
"Well, you might be strong enough to get through it alone, but you're pregnant Elizabeth, and you have to realize the stress is a danger to your health."
Liz looked up and offered a half-smile to the woman who would have liked the whole staff to believe she didn't care for them - that this was merely a job. "Thank you," she replied, setting down her pen and resting a moment. "But you do know that I am a nurse too, you know?"
"Well it doesn't look like it's doing you a bit of good," Epiphany huffed before grabbing a stack of files and walking away determinedly.
There were a lot of times Elizabeth heard the staff groaning about the tight-ship the head nurse ran around GH, but she knew it was all lip service. Everyone knew Epiphany had their back and would go to the mat for them. And it was at times like this, where assurances like hers, made her load just a little easier. It made her believe that the whole of Port Charles just might not hate her forever.
&&&&&
The cops had been pressing in hard on Sonny's business harder than they had been before. Both he and Sonny knew it was because of Lucky and what had happened between Liz and himself. They had discussed it and the decision had been made to lay low for the next couple of months. He, himself, had been ordered to stay away from any of their regular business partners. Everything had to be on the up and up for the next while because Lucky would use anything against him to put him in lock up. However, his mind was somewhere else.
Jason stared blankly at the computer screen as his thoughts drifted to Sam and their last conversation. It really wasn't a conversation at all. Sam had been so hurt and distraught that he hadn't been able to explain why he had done what he had done. Not that there really is any excuse
"Greetings Stonecold," said Spinelli as he poked his head in the door. "I bring you joyful tidings." He lifted the slim rectangular object, which he cherished like it was his only child, in front of him.
He looked extremely pleased with himself.
"What is it Spinelli?" He was not in the mood for his prattlings. Most days he could tolerate them, but today wasn't one of them.
"Stonecold is colder than usual," the young, lanky compouter prodigy breathed, his brow furrowed with concern. "I imagined the air of intensity would dissapate from whence it came once the truth was proclaimed to the ends of the earth!" His eyes twinkled with joy. Jason knew he was speaking about the final revelation about the child, and staking his claim upon his blood heir. Once it had been revealed, Spinelli spoke of nothing else. He could not imagine why he, Stonecold, would keep such a deep secret from him. "I imagine the weight of Apolllo's task was lifted off your shoulders. It was literally as if you had managed the impossible which was to keep the earth balanced upon the hilltop."
"Spinelli!" Jason gritted his teeth as he watched the young teenager jump at his sharpness. He let out a deep breath. "Spinelli," he spoke more calmly, "Why are you here?"
"Oh, uh, the Godfather of PC had requested my masterful expertise into delicately hacking into the PCPD mainframe to map their movements and possible plans against you and the natural balance between good and evil." He looked up at Jason through the shag of his dirty blonde hair that hung inches too long in front of his face. "And naturally I wanted to present you with the excellent findings," he chuckled, opening his laptop and presenting it to Jason as if it held some treasure. "The knights in blue do not understand the trappings of the cyberworld. And I was alble to send a slightly debilitating virus into their mainframe. Of course it would only search out and destroy bits and pieces of the files they have on Stonecold and the Godfather."
"What were you thinking?" he leaned forward and grabbed the laptop in front of him. Jason thought Spinelli knew better than to make such an obvious move. "The Port Charles police may not be too bright, but when they see that only my and Sonny's files were destroyed they will know it was instigated by us."
"Ahhh, grasshopper! Now the student becomes the teacher!" Spinelli grinned, rubbing his hands together deliciously. "It took out more than just the files of PC's most notorious crimelord kingpin! Why, it wiped out whole networks of programs and files, some of which will take years, maybe months if they had a superior mind such as I, to wade through. And it traces so many different paths...Perhaps the Godfather of Port Charles, perhaps Senor Alcazar, master of deception. Decryption and scripting which alone will take months..."
Jason leaned back in his chair and folded his hands together and pressed them against his lips. He had to give Spinelli credit for the damage he had managed to inflict upon the organization which sought to destroy them. It almost pained him to say it, just because of the response it would invoke, "Good work, Spinelli."
"Doeth the Stonecold speaketh words of praise?" The moppy haired teen's eyes opened wide in delight and disbelief. "It was merely a simple run of scripts...It really was quite simple for the one called 'The Jackal'," he explained modestly. "I was pleased to do it in kind for all of the assistance you and the 'brooding one' have offered me when I was in the situation I was in previously."
"It's no problem, Spinelli," Jason sighed, knowing he would never hear the end of Spinelli's appreciation if he didn't cut it off at the head. "Really." He looked back at his desk and pointed to the computer. "Now I've got some work to finish up on."
"M-my only question, oh silent one, is," Spinelli sputtered hesitantly. "Is, well now that you and the fair Elizabeth are co-habitating, is the Jackal to disappear?" His brow furrowed in concern as he rocked back and forth upon the balls of his feet.
"What?"
"I know you have brought the maternal one into your residence, but how is this going to work?" he asked curiously. "I know y-you and the Goddess have had your obstacles, but this co-habitation will surely put a damper on the still smouldering embers of your love?"
"Look Spinelli, you don't have to worry," Jason said, rolling over the options in his head. "You do not have to leave. We have plenty of room in the penthouse."
"But what about the Goddess? Does she not object to this whole proposition?"
"Sam and I are over." He hated saying the words. It was something that he never thought he'd ever say. But as he stood there with Spinelli looking at him aghast, Jason could only think of his child. The creation that was living inside of Elizabeth was something he had never dreamed he would have. Sam could not have chlidren and even though he would have lived a lifetime loving her, he knew inside there was a void left where Michael had once been - for the child he had believed he once had. Now, he had one and he would do everything in his power to give him or her everything they needed and that included a loving family.
"B-But S-Stonecold, what of your eternal love for the effervescent beauty of your heart?"
"As far as Sam is concerned, she is done." It hurt his heart to say those words. He knew it would come to this, but the reality never hit closer to home as when he just said those words. Images of the pain and betrayal that flashed in Sam's eyes the night he told her that Elizabeth was to have his baby - he would never forget it. Those images were seared into the recesses of his mind.
"You have a choice here, Stonecold. It does not have to be a choice. You can share the miraculousness of the child with fair Elizabeth and live happily ever after with the earnest and truest Samantha!" Jason watched as Spinelli prepared to launch into a full-blown rant about how he could have his cake and eat it too. He knew the young teen could not understand the workings of the heart at such a young time in his life. He had gone through so much in his lifetime - things he had never imagined.
He had lived and loved many more times than he had ever believed he would. When Sam came along, he thought she would be his last. They seemed to match - partners in crime in a way. But then her betrayal set into motion a chain of events that led him here - with Sam more hurt than he thought he could ever hurt another human being. Jason understood why she could not understand why he did not just claim his child as theirs. She could not conceive and the child was his in part - a ready made family. However there was one fault in the whole scheme of things - Elizabeth. "I've already made my choice Spinelli!" he barked, a little more roughly than he had intended. "You don't understand it and hopefully you'll never be in this position, but I have made my choice."
Spinelli stood silently, as if Jason's words had actually slapped him in the face.
"This part of my life is off limits. I do not want to talk about it," he breathed, walking around to the back of the desk and sat down in his chair. "Don't bring up Sam again."
"I beg your pardon," the dejected computer afficienado said, head hung low. "I mean no disrespect. I am only speaking with the best intentions. But as I can see that you are overwhelmed by the chaotic state of your business, let alone your personal matters, I will leave you to your own devices."
"Thank you," Jason breathed, hoping it would the be the last he would hear of it - knowing otherwise however.
"But I leave imparting these last words of wisdom," he spoke quickly as he backed out of the office. "More people are hurt from lesser and better intentions than these." With that his gaunt face disappeared behind the closed door.
&&&&&&
"Lucky?"
"Elizabeth."
When opening the penhouse door, Lucky was the last person she expected to see. His face was pale and his expression grave. She could see the bags under his eyes and his dishevelled hair as lingering remanants of her lie. "What are you doing here?" she asked worriedly. Very few had known she had moved into Jason's penthouse. None knew of her marriage. "How did you know I was..."
Lucky gazed at her knowingly. "How do you think I knew you were here?" he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I am a police officer. And Jason is a known criminal, even though you are hell-bent on living in a sacrine sweet world where it doesn't seem to matter what the hell Jason Morgan does."
"Ms. Webber, is there a problem?" Milo poked his head in the door. He took one look at Lucky and frowned. "Is he upsetting you?"
"No, Milo, I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" The young, tall bodyguard gave Lucky the once over. "Because Mr. Morgan said if anyone were to upset you to..."
"To what?" Lucky exclaimed angrily, glaring at the opulence of the well-dressed muscle. "What are you going to do?" He stepped closer to the threatening guard. "I'm a cop and I could arrest you in a heartbea..."
"Lucky stop it!" Elizabeth ran her hand across her swollen belly, as she stepped in between the two men. "Why did you come here?" she asked commandingly, forcing him to focus on her instead of going after Milo. "What is it you want?"
"I came to talk to you."
"Talk about what?" she asked warily. Glancing back at Milo, Elizabeth waved him back, motioning him to leave them alone. "I think you've said enough."
"I was angry, Elizabeth," he said almost apologetically. "You can't blame me for being angry. I just found out the child I thought I was having with my wife is instead another man's. But I'm here, aren't I?"
"Ex-wife."
"What?" Lucky frowned at her response.
"I was your ex-wife when you found out," Elizabeth corrected, as she walked past him. "And yes, I was horribly mistaken when I chose to hide the truth from you. First off, I should have told you that your insanity with drugs and Maxie drove me into the arms another man. I should have told you that instead of believing that it would drive you back to drugs. But Lucky you could not hear me. It's like you would only hear the things you wanted to."
"I heard you. I heard you enough to recover," he shouted in disbelief at what he was hearing. "I love you Liz! And everything I've become was because of you."
"Not me," she said angrily. Elizabeth was unsure where the sudden anger arose from. The last encounter she had with Lucky almost had her on her knees begging forgiveness for how she had lied to him. But now, standing in the penthouse, she suddenly couldn't muster the energy. "You never did it for me. All you wanted was this child and the fantasy of a perfect family - your perfect family."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm going to finally tell you exactly what I'm thinking, Lucky. For the first time in months," she breathed, her whole body trembling. "I am going to forget how my words and actions could send you spiralling and that I could or would be the cause of you falling off the wagon. I'm going to tell you how I've been feeling for months since you went into rehab."
"I'm waiting."
"I know your life was hell after the injury and the drug addiction was the reason for a lot of the things you did," Elizabeth said, trying to control her breathing. "And as much as you have that as an excuse, it took everything in me not to want to throw up or run in the other direction. Everytime I saw you, I saw you and Maxie. I saw you and your rage and irradic behavior. You refused to hear what I had to say. You refused to hear me begging you for our life and family. Then, when I left you, it gave you a wake-up call didn't it?"
"Yes." Lucky could not understand where she got off making this all about him.
"But it wasn't enough to drive you to re-hab. You could do this by yourself you said!" Elizabeth ran her fingers through her hair as the memories and emotions came flooding forward. "Emily and Nikolas, me and Cam weren't enough to get you into rehab. But when I finally let it slip that I was pregnant, the change was drastic. You signed yourself up for rehab and began proclaiming how we would be a family again. We were your light at the end of the tunnel."
"How can you blame me for holding onto hope that somehow choosing to get clean so that I could have my family back as wrong?" He didn't understand how this could be happening. She was the one who had slept with Jason and lied about it. She had pushed her judgment on him for having an affair when she had had one as well. Elizabeth was a hypocrite.
"I CAN!" Elizabeth spun around and glared at him. "You kept saying I was the reason you were getting clean. Me and the baby. But you know what Lucky? It wasn't until you found out that I was pregnant that you chose to clean up. I wasn't enough. Cameron wasn't enough." She could hear the blood rushing in her head. "It was always about you - what you could get out of it. Even now, even when I know I was in the wrong, everything you say makes me remember how you just expected us to be waiting after all that you had done. You expected me to forgive you just because it was 'the drugs' - like that erased everything that you did to me and my boy."
"I didn't do this to you or Cameron!" Lucky cried out. "I was out of control, Elizabeth. I know I hurt you, but you're turning this around like this lie that you told about the baby is somehow my fault! You are a hypocrite. You chastise me over and over again crying out about how much pain I caused you when you slept with Jason! God knows how long you've been sleeping with him. I bet he was chompin' at the bit. He's always wanted you. And vise versa - right? You were always drawn to him. When you finally told the truth, I can't say I was surprised. The only surprise was that it was only once. And I only have your word that it was a one night stand. As far as I know it could have been months!" His heart was racing as images of Jason and Liz clenched together in an kiss flashed through is head. "For all of you cries, you are as much a liar as I am."
In anger and disbelief Elizabeth walked up to Lucky and slapped him as hard as she could. "You have no idea what you put me through," she seethed, tears streaming down her face. "Our shambled marriage was not Jason's fault. It was never about him. I went through hell and back as I watched you self-destruct. Nothing could have reached you. Nothing. I am nothing like the woman you described. I fought for our marriage, for better or for worse, but you and Maxie was more than that. Nothing describes the betrayal I felt when I walked in on you two." Elizabeth voice was hoarse as she pressed her index finger into his chest. "And if you don't know that my one-night stand was a result of that, if you don't know that I would never betray my wedding vows to you until that night when I believed there was nothing left to betray, then you don't know me at all; and your rehab was not rehab at all."
Lucky stood there knowing he had gone to far as he saw how his words tore her apart. He knew he had allowed his anger to get the better of him. He had spoken in haste. "Elizabeth, wait," he breathed, as he grasped her hand. "I was wrong."
"No," she said angrily, tearing her hand out his grasp. "I was w-wrong, to believe you understood or that I had forgotten. Drugs or whatever, I will never forget what you did. I forgave you when you asked, but I will never forget how much you hurt me and Cam." Elizabeth felt pressure against her stomach. The baby was being active. She rubbed her stomach trying to calm the pressure her vision blurred with salty tears. "Those moments, Lucky, that you thought you were preparing me to accept your proposal - I only did that out of responsibility."
Those words cut into him. "What?"
"Everyone kept warning me not to hurt you," she said, still rubbing her stomach as the pressure was increasing. "You were so wrapped up in your own fantasyland of reuniting and being a family, you couldn't see I wasn't even in the same book as you. I kept hearing on every side that I was the key to your sobriety - Emily, Nikolas, and even Cruz. I knew that wasn't true. If you were to be sober, it had to be for yourself. But you probably didn't even hear that at rehab did you? You wouldn't listen. I can't be the reason you're sober. This baby couldn't be the reason. Except no one would say it to your face, and I was left with that burden. I had to keep up the charade."
"Charade?" He repeated the words, unable to truly believe the words she was saying. "It was all a charade?"
Her head was pounding now. She did not want to do this anymore. Suddenly she felt sick. But she ignored it, pushing it away and focusing on Lucky again. "Lucky," Elizabeth said distractedly. It wasn't about the pain anymore. It was about the truth. "I have loved you since I could comprehend what that was. We've gone through so much and came out on the other end together. I thought we would last. But in the past year, things have happened - you've done things - that have marred everything I thought made us who we are. I believed you were someone I could always trust, but I found out last year that wasn't true. I don't blame you now. It takes too much to do that." She sucked in air as she felt a dull ache in her abdomen. "I still love you Lucky, you shared what feels like a lifetime with me; but I don't think I will ever be in love you again. I couldn't let myself do that again."
"I was an obligation," Lucky stated, numb. He turned around, unable to look at her; bile rose in his throat. "Is that what you are saying?"
"If I had not told the truth and accepted your proposal," she said, gritting her teeth. "Yes. I believe that that it would never have been the same. It wouldn't have been like it had been."
He had come here to accept what she had done. He had come here to take her back and accept this child as his own. It was a decision that had been made through the turmoil of nights of craving the mind-numbing and forgetful drug-induced haze and coming out on the other side clearer and stronger than he had been nights before. His pride would have to be sacrificed as he accepted this child, who was produced as a direct result of his mistakes - his choices. However, now he stood here knowing the truth - in its' fullness. "This is over?" It was more a statement than a question. From what she had said, Lucky did not see another option.
"Yes." Elizabeth bit the bottom of her lip as the abdominal pain increased. She slowly sat down, using the arm of the couch to steady her. Breathing slowly, she tried to relax. "Lucky..." She could not get another word out as the pain became too much.
His head was buzzing as she called his name. It was too much. His heart ached as the reality of what his addiction had truly done to his life. He thought if he could just get his act together and apologize for what he had done - if he could redeem himself in their eyes - everything would be fine. But it wouldn't - it wasn't. He could not even look at her. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Elizabeth. I'm sorry that this is how we're going to end." He waited for a reply, wanting some strangled note of protest or hesitation; but there was none. In stunned disbelief, he left without another glance back.
"Lucky," she whispered, as she watched the door close behind the man whom she once loved. It was the last thing she remembered as she passed out.