Okay…for those people who were friends with Pokemonisthebest and loved seeing their reviews on here…that may not happen anymore. Or it may all be flames. See, I kinda got into a fit because of hormones and he was preaching about what I should write and telling me no more AAML and it was a BAD day and…I snapped at him. Just a bit. Maybe he's not mad, I don't know. I guess I'll see.

Confuto Romanorum Imperator came up with this one, thank you, thank you thank you I'm sorry I couldn't do justice to your idea!

In my other fanfic I made a reference to a 'mountain kiss' and this person said I ought to expand on it. And jus to be wicked (to a few more of my reviewers as well) I absolutely ADORE yaoi fics. Some dudes like girl on girl, some girls like guy on guy. That's right. Please don't stop reading because of my opinions! Enjoy.

Here's a major swearing fic. AAML So many censors…

"Another mountain range. Why is it always a f--king mountain?" Misty huffed. Brock tsked at her condescendingly. "What, do you want to climb another mountain range? This one is a hell of a lot bigger than the last one."

"Don't say f--k, Misty. In fact, don't swear at all. You're fifteen and you shouldn't be saying that. You're a young lady."

"Young lady my a-s. Fred and Kevin don't give a damn if I swear, in fact they encourage it. My sisters don't give a flying f--k either."

"I like swearing more than hitting," Ahs commented. "But it wouldn't hurt to cut down a bit. Just think of Brock as an adult, you don't swear in front of my mom, right? So don't swear in front of Brock. He's a goody-two-shoes."

"I know. But that's how the guys I hang out with talk, it's hard not to pick up on it. And before you say anything, they're great guys, they've just got…swearing problems," She sighed, then giggled. "Team Rocket's face was priceless when I told them to fu-"

"Eff off," Brock stopped her, still frowning. "Your sisters really should take more responsibility for you."

"Sorry Brock. It's subconscious. Like when my sisters say 'like' for every other word," She sighed.

"Well, make it conscious!" He snapped. Misty rolled her eyes. They were just words, you'd figure it's be preferred over the mallet. "Sorry I snapped, Misty. I'm just worried you're hanging out with the wrong crowd."

"You're worried?" She stiffened and stopped walking. "Why me? Ash started hanging out with Gary for Zaptos' sake, what about him? Why aren't you worried about him, he's the youngest! I'm not a baby! I know how to take care of myself."

"I never said you couldn't," Brock tried to recover. Ash sat down and pulled out popcorn while Pikachu mercilessly felt up the ketchup bottle, loving the thing a little too much. "We're just worried because you're hanging out with two guys who don't sound like they're very nice for a young…for a good girl to be hanging out with."

"We? Don't drag me into this! I think Misty can defend herself just fine and is great with choosing friends. I just find the over swearing annoying. You sound like Gary, and one camerupt tipping thing does not mean we're best friends and…ew, Pikachu, there's ketchup in my popcorn. Nasty." He threw the popcorn into his mouth anyway. Pikachu frantically tried to get popcorn out of his heavenly ketchup bottle.

'No, Heinz, don't leave me! You can pull through! Never let go Heinz, never let go. Oh, Heinz, I will always love you! Always!'

"You're a twisted little freak. No more romance novels little buddy, I don't care how much you like it, you need to cut back."

'That's what she said.'

"Ew!"

"So what? Is it because I'm a girl? Maybe because I'm afraid of bugs? Who cares? I'm suck of being babied! It's like the older I get, the younger you treat me! That's insane! You can't just do that to me, Brock! You're only eight years older than me!"

"It's just because I care about you, Misty. I'm just trying to protect you. You're like my little sister, that's all. I just want to make sure you grow up right."

"Dammit Brock! Just because I say 'f--k' that's right, 'f--k', doesn't mean I'm actually f--king anyone, does it? I'm a perfectly cheerful delightful girl!"

"Delightful?"

"It means pleasant, you know what pleasant means, don't you?"

"I know what delightful means, I'm just trying to figure out to apply it to you. It's not working. It's not from the swearing, but you've never been pleasant, delightful, cheerful, nonviolent, or anything into that category."

"That's it, I'm out of here!" She stormed off in a different direction. "I'll see you guys at the Proffessor's lab."

"Aw, Mist. I was just fooling! You're plenty delightful, really! Mist! Misty! Oh, real nice, real nice hand gesture there. Nice. That's the harder trail, Waterflower! You want to climb that high? It's straight freaking up! Right up Kasumi! Misty! Stop flipping me off!" He groaned and put his head in his hands.

"She'll be back. Give her a minute, she'll be back," Brock assured him confidently. Sitting down next to him.

"I don't think she is. She's stubborn Brock, she's much more reckless now that she doesn't have Togepi to take with her. She's PMSing too." He started to get up. "That's it, I'm going after her before she kills herself."

"Ash, do you really think Misty will go that far up the trail before deciding it will be easier to just come back and apologize? How do you know she's PMSing?"

"Uh, I chart it out. Why do you think I'm nice to her one week every month? She almost killed me one time. I accidentally mentioned her weight," he shivered. "Anyway, are we talking about the same Misty? She has never once said she was wrong or apologized for anything she has ever done. The Misty I know would jump off a cliff before saying she was wrong. The Misty I know almost drowned a few years ago because somebody told her she could swim across a raging river and she wanted to prove she couldn't."

"That was your fault."

"I got her out using a vine whip!" he snapped. "I need to go get her. She's not coming back. Brock, I know her."

"I don't?"

"Not like I do," Ash muttered. "Nobody knows her like I do. I'll give her ten minutes. That's it, ten minutes and if she's not back by then I'm going after her. I know she's not coming back, and it's not safe out here by herself." His scowl deepened as snowflakes began to trickle down from the sky. "No one is safe out here by themselves. Mountains are always tricky. They like to kill people."

"You say that like they're alive."

"Everything's alive, Brock," he said. His voice dropped low, inaudible. "Misty told me that, when she taught me about respecting water. Everything's alive, and nature doesn't hand out do-overs."

'There's a snow storm coming,' Pikachu whispered. 'Give Misty ten minutes to come back, but after that…you'd better run fast.'

"She's not back," Ash leaped to his feet, the alarm on his pokegear going off. "it's been ten minutes. What did I tell you? There's a storm coming! See what you've done! Shoot, I'm sorry. It's not your fault Brock. I'm just worried. You set up camp, I'll be back."

"Thanks, Terminator. Go save your woman. Hey, that's not a becoming gesture for a young man either, Ash!"

"Eff off!" he shouted, his feet pounding down the trail. He felt a light weight hop onto his shoulder. "Pikachu? Hey, buddy, guess you're coming too. Any ideas as to where she is?" His yellow companion shook his head. "Dang it!"

'Now would be a good time to swear.'

"I've got nothing to say," he replied. He slowed and looked around, the snow starting to blind him. "Can you see?"

'A bit. Probably more than you. I don't see her anywhere, Ash. The wind's piking up. I'm sure she found a cave. She's not stupid.'

"I know. I'm just…worried about her," he blushed.

'Aw, Ashy-kins want to protect his life mate!' Pikachu laughed as Ash started running again. Where could she be? She was stalking off so slow! Did she pick up her pace or something when the snow started? No, Misty always stopped to think about what she did after an argument, it always took at least five minutes!

"She's not my life mate, I mean wife! I don't like her, alright? Can't I be worried about a friend? I worry about Brock and I'm not in love with him. I worry about you and I'm not separating you from Sparky or that Ketchup bottle."

'No, but since you blush because you worry about her that means you like her.'

"Misty! Misty? Where are ya?" The snow was already covering the top of his shoes, it was so cold out, too cold. His fingers were feeling hot, burning. He crossed his arms, hoping for some kind of warmth, anything. Breathing into his fists didn't work, and though he tried, his entire hand wouldn't fit in his mouth. He took a deep breath, the icy air scratching his throat and lungs, and called again. "Misty! Misty! It's cold out!" He said, his voice weaker. How long had he been walking now? It seemed so long, his thoughts were fuzzy. The temperature was dropping fast, he could tell. He dropped to his knees. "Misty?" He asked weakly, gulping. "This is a really pathetic way to go!" Silence. He didn't know how long, but it was hurting now, hurting and burning, and his eyes were so heavy, thoughts were so hazy. He feel to his back in the snow, watching the snowflakes fall onto him. "I'm going to take a nap, Pikachu. Keep calling for Misty."

'Ash, Ash! Don't be stupid! You can't-!' Pikachu's words didn't make sense anymore. Just the creature's name, over and over. He didn't understand why he ever listened to the rambling of a rat anyway. He closed his eyes, ignoring the electric current that zapped through him. Damn, he could barely feel it anyway. Could barely feel anything except the cold liquid seeming into his clothes, through his skin and into his body, his blood, his bones. His heart was slower, still rhythmic, but he could hear it. Just a heartbeat, and a word he thought he knew, a word shouted with relief and joy, "Pikachupi!" (A/N: Hope that wasn't crap, I was sweating so bad when I wrote that.)

"Where am I?" Ash coughed, sitting up. Misty sat in the corner, the firelight showing the cave they sat in. She had Pikachu in her lap, petting him softly. He leaped from her arms and bounded over to Ash, snuggling close with a fond cry.

"You, are in a cave," pausing dramatically after you. "You're also not in heaven or wherever heroes go when they die. You're also running short on choclate." She reached beside he to show him a handful of empty wrappers. "I already ate all of mine on my walk up," she blushed. Little did Ketchum know at the time it wasn't from bad eating habits, but the simple act of him sitting up, and stretching his tight limbs.

"Did you bring me here?"

"Nope, it was Tinkerbell. I shot Wendy for her so she decided to return the favor and save a friend of mine. Of course I brought you here, you dunce! Thank Pikachu, the only reason I found you was because of the sparks he was sending off." Her blush was not going away, she could feel it. 'Damn, Misty! It's not that bad! Calm down, you've seen this plenty of times before. But, then again, it has been quite a while…' "Hey, Ash, could you-"

"Thanks Pikachu. Thanks Misty. I was coming to save you, ironic, how you saved me. You taught me that word, Misty!" He beamed proudly, scratching behind the electric rodent's ears absently.

"Ash, could you please…" She blushed, trying not to look at the boy in front of her. Her eyes swept around the cave only to land back where they started from. Articuno! How many times had she yelled at boys for staring down at her sister's breasts, when here she was now, molesting Ash with her eyes.

"What?"

"I always knew you're legs were strong, but you're getting a six-pack. How'd that happen?" She blurted. Ash gawked at her for a minute, wondering how she could possibly know that, before looking down. His face turned cherry lollipop red as he fumbled for a sleeping bag to cover himself with. "Your clothes were soaked, Ash, you were lying down in the snow when I found you. At least you got to keep your boxers!" She cried. "At least they were boxers this time!"

"Why do people keep pulling down my pants?" He complained. "I understand why you took them off, it's life and death and you had to but…you've seen me in my underwear, like ten times! I've never seen you in your underwear once and, I didn't mean it like that! Nothing's going right today, ugh! And it's not like I want to see you in your underwear! Wait, I do because you're pretty, wait! Ugh! I've been doing so well too, figuring out every answer, how do I get myself out of this one?"

"Stop talking about underwear," Misty said, holding her stomach that ached from her uncontrollable laughter. "You can't get yourself out of that mess. Just…go put on pants, Ash, unless you want to strip all the way and we can hold each other for heat," she teased, turning ruby. As grinned, getting into the spirit of it, and made it look like he was about to pull of his boxers. "I don't want you to really take them off! That's not even funny!" she said, laughing anyway. He dug through his backpack and pulled out his pants and a shirt.

"If it's not funny, why are you laughing?" He challenged. "Hey! Cards! I didn't know I had these! Wanna play?"

"What?" She asked.

"Strip Poke," Ash rolled his eyes at his boxer clad body. "Golly gee, that'll be fun for a round, don't you think?"

"For you maybe. What about poor me, you flasher?"

"Hey, I'm cold and already in nothing but boxers, don't tempt me," He chuckled. "How about Skinny Dipping Go Fish? Joking! Joking! Let's just play Go Fish." Ash finished pulling on dry clothes and sat down next to her.

"How do you play?" She asked.

"What do you mean, how do you play? It's Go Fish! You've obviously never had a pack of cards if you haven't played Go Fish! Most packs even have rules on how to play that in them!"

"While my sisters played cards with mom Dad was trying to keep me from playing outside in the rain. It wasn't until we were all older that I started playing cards with my sisters, and they weren't really into little kids games. That's how I know Poker and Gin and Texas Hold 'Em (A/N: yeah…bet without a Texas it's awfully hard for them to play a game like that…) We made up a game once. It's not fun though, you wouldn't want to play."

"I want to play!"

"I don't want to play," Misty frowned. Ash begged with big growlithe eyes. "It's called War of Truth," she sighed as Ash brightened. "You play just like war, except whoever had the lower card has to tell a secret, something the other doesn't know."

"Ew."

"I know."

"No, we're playing. Ew for you because you're playing the kid who couldn't loose if he tried." He dealt the cards with a smile. "Flip." The two cards flipped. King and four, in favor of Misty. "Oh. Well," he crossed his legs and thought. "I'm a virgin."

"No s—t," she rolled her eyes.

"All of me is virgin."

"How about your eyes?"

"…my lips are virgin of another lips touch."

"Nice. So that's what guys' night is all about. I knew Brock couldn't be taking you to healthy movies, the perv. Such a hypocrite. Okay, one, two, three, flip." Queen and Jack, Ash won this time. "S—t. Uh, my lips are virgin too."

"Really?" Ash raised his eyebrows, Misty blushed. "One, two, three flip." Two sevens, lucky number depending how you look at it. "Go again?"

"Whoever looses this has to share three secret," Misty said, laying down her cards. (A/N: If you don't know how to play War, look it up or something, I can't explain rules for (censored)) She knew her three secrets. Hell, she knew them before she'd started this stupid game. Half of her was rooting for the win, half hoped she lost. "Flip." She whispered. Two aces. "Are you kidding me? Suicune, Ho-oh and Mew!" She cursed.

"Don't take the names of the legendaries in vain," Ash teased.

"F—k off!" She snapped, punching him playfully. "So, anyway. This game was originally created by drunk people (A/N: Nuh-uh, I'm sober! Have to be, it's the law, y'know) and they pretty much said at the second war, drink the Mew-da--ed bottle. When we played, we each just said three truths, then go again. One last flip to see who goes first."

"Okay," he shifted uneasily. The only reason he'd agreed to play was because he thought he's win. Whatever happened to 'you can't loose them all?' "One, two, three, flip." Queen and an Ace, Ash's favor. "You first." He sighed in relief.

"Okay, I'd rather be kissed by now than not. Two, it's be great if it happened around now. Three," she took a deep breath, "I wouldn't mind if it was you." Ash stared blankly. "I'm not saying I like you, I'm saying I don't hate you enough to let you kiss me." She covered up hurriedly. "Ash? You okay?"

Ash? Pikachu nudged him. "What's wrong with you?"

"Could you say that again?"

"I don't like you, I'm saying-"

"No! Not that," he cut her off. "I mean the other thing you said. Did you mean it Misty?" He asked hopefully.

"I, I don't like you. I just don't hate you," she repeated. "Raiku, this is really awkward. 'Specially since you're not so gullible anymore."

"Will you just kiss her already dumbass! Really, don't be shy now of all times! She's practically invited you to kiss her! You will never, ever, EVER have a better chance with any woman in your lifetime than you do right now!" Pikachu hissed in his ear.

"What do I do?" He whispered to low for Misty to hear.

"You kiss her!"

"How?"

"Are you f—king kidding me? I'm not telling you to make out, just tap your freaing lips together! It's not that hard! I've seen TWO year olds figure this out!" Pikachu ranted, whacking Ash with his tail. "If you screw this up the next tail that hits you will be made of iron, do you understand me?"

"Ditto," Ash suddenly said.

"Oh, Mew, Ho-Oh, and whatever else lies above, you are such a dumbass."

"What?" Misty cocked her head.

"My three secrets. Ditto, same thing, they're the same as yours," he tried to elaborate. "So, we could both get what we want, I guess. But we don't like each other. We just don't hate each other. See? Reasonable." Ash said, dimly aware that a little voice in his head was telling him he was rambling and he should shut up and kiss her. This little figure had a 'My Name is Common Sense' shirt on, but Ash didn't listen to him often. That 'Common Sense' thing was really stupid. Misty quieted all those thoughts as her finger pressed against his lips.

She laughed, "shut up and kiss me, Ketchum." So he did, just a tap, then they came back for another, and another, until Pikachu shrieked and tried to escape into its pokéball to keep from seeing the disgusting sight of two people he knew and loved making out. Needless to say, their lips were swollen and cheek red when Brock found them.

"Never speak on this again " Misty whispered as the morning came, pulling her hair up and fixing her shirt.

"Agreed."

Icky. Well, I tried. It started out so nice! And it was all down hill (no pun intended) from there. Anyway, the moral of the story is don't crack open you cell phone battery, because it really, really will explode, as taught by my Bio teacher. If you read author's notes, put the word "Mewtwo" in your review. Just a survey.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!